A Study of Matthew: Things Just Got Awkward
A Study of Matthew • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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And Jesus went away from there and withdrew to the district of Tyre and Sidon.
And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and was crying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely oppressed by a demon.”
But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, “Send her away, for she is crying out after us.”
He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”
But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.”
And he answered, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.”
She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.”
Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly.
Have you ever had what could only be described as an awkward moment? It usually involves having an interaction with someone you DON’T want to interact with. I was an expert at creating awkward moments for my older brother. Like when I crashed his 16th birthday party at our house. I was 11. He was trying to be all cool with the girls who were there, and I was making stupid jokes and embarrassing him. And then some of the other guys decide to have fun picking on me, and my brother has to decide whether to protect his annoying brother or stay on the good side of his buddies. Finally, in front of everyone, he loses his temper. “You’re ruining my birthday party. Go back upstairs. I don’t want you around.” I go upstairs and cry. The girls he was trying to impress feel sorry for me and don’t want to talk to him. He’s mad at the other guys for picking on me. Awkward.
Today, we are looking at a time right after Jesus had gotten into a debate with the Pharisees. They were accusing Jesus of not respecting Jewish tradition. Jesus flipped the argument around, saying that tradition is not what makes you right with God.
Now, Jesus has traveled to another location where he encounters a Canaanite woman. She wants Jesus to deliver her daughter from demonic oppression. So far, everything sounds normal--people are always coming to Jesus for miraculous help. But then we see something out of the ordinary. This woman asks for help, and Jesus stays silent. She continues to cry out for help. It’s getting really awkward.
The disciples ask Jesus to send her away. So Jesus turns to the woman.
He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”
And here is the heart of the awkward moment. This woman is not a Jew.
But that shouldn’t be a problem, should it? After all, didn’t Jesus minister to the Samaritan woman? She wasn’t a pure Jew. And Jesus helped the Roman centurion back in chapter 8.
But THIS woman is a Canaanite woman. The Canaanites had caused trouble for the Jews ever since Joshua led his people into the Promised Land. This woman is a culturally hated enemy of the Jews. In fact, her people make up part of what is today known as Palestine, who is still at war with the Jews.
This woman calls out to Jesus for help, and he ignores her. So what does she do? She calls out even more. The disciples are feeling the awkwardness. “Lord, acknowledge her and send her away.”
Notice again Jesus’ response. He simply acknowledges that this woman is not a Jew, and that his purpose is to reach the lost of Israel. He’s not mean, but he does seem indifferent.
Have you ever had a rivalry with someone? That one person who is always criticizing you. The one you are always criticizing. How would you feel if you suddenly found yourself needing that person’s help? What would you do?
This woman is part of a group that has been feuding with the Jews for over 2000 years. She has swallowed her pride to ask this Jew for help, and he has ignored her, then made a weak excuse for not helping her. It would be so easy for her to throw her hands in the air and say something like, “I should have known better than to ask for help from a Jew!”
Instead, the woman pursues Jesus.
But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” And he answered, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.”
Wow. Did Jesus really just say that? This woman asked for help. She knelt before him and called him Lord, and he responds by calling her a dog. Picture yourself asking your rival for help and getting that response. What would your reaction be?
She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.”
She doesn’t miss a beat. She’s willing to take the insult. “I get it. My people and your people are enemies. My ancestors treated your ancestors horribly, and you have every reason to look down on us. I don’t need you to give me everything you’ve got. That belongs to the Jews. But surely you have enough that you could spare a little compassion on my daughter.”
It’s that instant in this otherwise awkward moment that changes everything. All along, Jesus has been talking about the kingdom of Heaven, and how we need to submit our entire self to God. This woman, who was raised in pagan religion, who was raised to despise the Jews, somehow sees Jesus as something different. Maybe she heard about how he broke the rules of cleanliness by touching lepers. Maybe she heard about how he helped the Roman centurion or went to Samaria. So maybe she came hoping that Jesus would be just as kind to her.
What she initially found was not what she had hoped for. She found a Jesus who didn’t seem to care about her. She found a Jesus who seemed to think her unworthy of his help. She found a Jesus who seemed to want to publicly embarrass her. She found herself in an awkward moment, and she must have been sorely tempted to just give up and run away.
The thing is, she DIDN’T give up. She didn't deny or make excuses for anything Jesus said about her. “You’re right. I’m a dog. I’m unworthy. I know you don’t owe me anything. But I am hoping you are good enough to help me anyway.”
Do you think that Jesus spoke to her the way he did in order to hurt her?
I think he said what he did because he KNEW what was in her heart. He knew what the Jews around him—including his disciples—were thinking about this Canaanite woman. When Jesus said what he did, he was only voicing what everyone else around him was thinking.
The lepers had been disgusting, but at least they were Jews. The Roman centurion was an outsider, but he had been known to show kindness to the Jews, and helping him would benefit Roman/Jewish relations. Going to Samaria was a stretch, but it just shows how nice Jesus is to bless the filthy half-breeds. But a CANAANITE WOMAN! Surely Jesus will have nothing to do with her.
There was no earthly reason to help this woman. It would not benefit the Jewish community at all. In fact, it would be helping a sworn enemy. But this woman, this enemy, seems to grasp what the Jews are missing.
How did she address Jesus at the beginning?
“… Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David.”
She calls Jesus “Lord”. She calls him by his Messianic title. She recognizes Jesus’ lordship. When she calls out for help, she assumes the posture of submission. She also recognizes her place in this equation. She knows that she is a Canaanite. She knows that she is unworthy. That’s why she doesn’t dispute what Jesus says. But she doesn’t let that stop her from crying out.
And I think that’s what Jesus wanted to show those around him. They were convinced that the Messiah was only coming to save the Jews. They were certain that the Jewish Messiah would share their racial prejudice toward their historic enemies. They were totally unprepared for Jesus’ final response to the woman:
Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly.
Through this awkward encounter, Jesus has shown his followers, and us, that his favor toward us has nothing to do with our worthiness. He doesn’t show favoritism based on what family we are born into or what good things we have done. He also doesn’t hold our past against us.
Our God is not like the false gods others worshiped. Pagans believed they could entice their gods through offerings and special gestures. That is not our God.
We cannot earn our way into God’s favor. God is not impressed by outward appearances.
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
The Jews were good at looking holy. This Canaanite woman had a heart that was submitted to Jesus.
You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
Jesus is willing to help ANYONE who calls out to him, IF we are seeking him with all our heart. He’s not looking for the pretenders—those who only care about how good they look to the community, who make sure they go to the trendy church and are seen with all the right people doing the right things. He’s not looking for the half-hearted, who are willing to call Jesus Lord as long as things are going well, but will run off as soon as things get difficult.
Jesus is willing to help. But sometimes he doesn’t help right away. Instead, it seems like he is indifferent, ignoring our cries for help. Sometimes, we wonder if he might be angry with us or judging us by not helping. Sometimes, we wonder if we have fallen from his favor, if we have become the undeserving dog.
I think, during those times, that Jesus is pushing us to help us see just how much faith we really have in him. I know you haven’t answered yet, Jesus. I know I’m not worthy of your help. I know I have failed you, even betrayed you, in the past. But I’m calling out to you because I need you. I’m totally submitting myself to you. You don’t owe me anything. I owe you everything.
There are folks in this room today who need a miracle. You have been asking for God’s help, but so far, you have not seen him move. God wants to know how badly you want him in to move. Are you willing to have an awkward moment? Are you willing to cry out to God, like this Canaanite woman did? She risked everything standing in the midst of all these Jews, calling out to their Rabbi for help. And she didn’t give up asking until Jesus answered her. She didn’t demand that Jesus move in a certain way. She basically said, “Lord, I’m willing to receive whatever you want to give me.”
I want to be like this woman. I want to be like King David, who danced in public when the Ark of the Covenant returned to Jerusalem, even though his wife the queen insisted that his behavior was inappropriate for a king.
Jesus, I’m calling out to you today. I don’t care what others think of me. I don’t care how awkward the moment may be. I’m calling out to you right now, in front of everyone. I’m calling out because I need you. I need your provision. And I’m counting on you to be there for me, not because I deserve it, but simply because you are good. I submit myself to you. I’m willing to receive whatever you want to give me. I trust you to do what’s best for me. But I won’t stop calling out to you, Lord. I will keep calling out to you because I will always need you. I will keep seeking you until I finally see you face to face.
