2025-02-23 Meeting God In Pain & Suffering

Alright, well, we are continuing our / / Following Jesus Series. Let’s do a bit of a recap here, today is week five.

In week one we looked at / / what it means to follow Jesus as a rabbi, a teacher. What it looked like 2000 years ago, and what it might look like for us today.

Then weeks two and three we looked at the definition and / / the process of Spiritual Formation, and if you remember, two weeks ago, I finished that section of teaching with talking through trial and suffering. And I made the statement that / / it matters how we respond or react to times of suffering. Moments of testing can either form us or deform us.

And the promise is that / / if we intentionally open our pain and suffering to God, not only will God meet us in it, but He will work in it to form us to be more like him.

Then last week David introduced us to a list of / / twelve spiritual practices that we can employ in our lives as a way of following Jesus to become more like him.

But, I want to go back to these two statements I made a couple weeks ago because today we are going to drill down a bit into this reality of suffering in our journey of following Jesus in a specific area, our emotional wellbeing.

So, let’s pray and then we are going to jump into it:

/ / Pain & Suffering… What do we do?

It’s all fine and well to talk about it, and be aware that it will happen, but without a solution, and something more than just ‘muscle through it to the other side’ we can actually get stuck in the emotional effects of what we go through, for months, even years, without even knowing it.

/ / Suffering comes to us all in many forms:

Emotional pain

Loss of a loved one

Grieving lost friendships

Betrayal

Our own personal brokenness

And whether we like it or not, these things can actually continue to live in us through the trauma we experience, and as a result continue affecting our lives now even though we are not still going through the event itself.

Going through a traumatic experience as a child, teen, young adult, the age doesn’t matter, can have lasting and long-term impact on our lives.

It is a well documented fact that / / we carry our history in our body, and that / / we live out of our past in the present.

Listen to this brief statement from the Harvard Review of Psychiatry:

“Ever since people’s responses to overwhelming experiences have been systematically explored, researchers have noted that / / a trauma is stored in somatic memory (the physical sensations and experiences that are stored in the body) and expressed as changes in the biological stress response…

Intense emotions at the time of the trauma initiate the long-term conditional responses to reminders of the event, which are associated both with chronic alterations in the physiological stress response and with the amnesias and hypermnesias characteristic of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).”

Amnesia is memory loss while hypermnesia is enhanced memory, so the idea here is that we have random intense loss and retrieval of memory based on trauma, because it’s not a concious effort on our part, it’s stored in us.

We actually carry our history in our body

Why talk about this in the middle of talking about Spiritual Disciplines, Spiritual Formation, becoming like Jesus?

Unfortunately, and all too often, the unhealed emotional pain, unbeknownst to us, and not intentional at all on our part, works to sabotage our Spiritual Formation. So all this time we’re talking about the joy of spiritual formation, and we could very well be sabotaging the whole process without even knowing it.

So what we want to do today is ask:

/ / What happens when grief, pain, and suffering come knocking at our door? What do we do?

Like I said, the assumption here is that this is supposed to work the opposite way, right? What is it we keep saying:

/ / To be WITH Jesus // To become LIKE Jesus // To DO what Jesus did

Hopefully you have started to employ these disciplines we’ve been talking about. And just a reminder, the notes we have been handing out are all available on the table in the lobby. So, if you have missed a week, grab the paper today and go back and watch them on our website, youtube or facebook pages.

But, maybe you started fasting at the beginning of the year with us. Or you’ve really been faithfully reading scripture everyday. Maybe you’ve added this quiet time of reflecting on scripture in a place of prayer before God. And you are feeling good about it. And you are hopefully feeling an increased closeness to God.

But also, in the midst of that, you’re finding that you are noticeably irritated some days. We’ve all heard Kelley’s experience with me in the first few weeks of adding fasting to my life on a regular basis. She somehow “instinctively” knew it was Wednesday without even asking…. Tell me Rob is fasting without telling me Rob is fasting… If you get my drift.

Or maybe in times of quiet and prayer you are suddenly reminded of, or even feel the pain of past hurts. Maybe you are reminded of someone who deeply wounded you, emotionally, physically, or relationally.

Why?

What is that?

Let me propose something that might actually seem like it’s almost too simple:

/ / We’re not good at quieting our lives, so when we finally do, two things happen.

/ / First, it’s like you’re sitting in the waiting room, or better yet, the doctor’s office, having gone past the waiting room. You’ve put yourself in the perfect position for healing. You’re surrounded by the medical devices in the room, and you’re about to experience the healing skill of the doctor when he comes in and works on you.

Anyone else get anxious when they’re in the doctors office waiting for the doctor?

Especially when you really don’t have any clue why you’re feeling what you’re feeling, you just know you hurt…

What about the dentist… Anyone get anxious about having to go to the dentist? Full transparency, I have needed to book a dentist appointment for a long time… still haven’t done it…

Or maybe you see a therapist and sure enough, when you’re on your way to and you don’t know what they’re going to ask you, or say to you… it can be a bit unnerving, right?

Or how about going to the ER, in pain, knowing that there will be a moment of more pain and shock when they take out the nail in your foot, of whatever the case may be. And even though you know that on the other side of that there will be healing, in the moment everything just hurts and you know it’s going to hurt even more as they deal with the issue you have?

I’m not saying it’s exactly like that. BUT, this seems to be a very consistent reality for people, / / the closer we get to healing, for whatever reason, the more our pain tends to reveal itself…

Remember, trauma is stored in our bodies and affects our response.

And / / second, let’s add the spiritual element to it. 1 Peter 5:8, / / Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

So you employ these spiritual disciplines, and suddenly feel like the devil’s got your number.

Like a shark smelling blood in the water the enemy of our souls will do anything to keep us in our pain and discomfort, because hurt people tend to hurt other people. / / When we live in our pain and suffering it is simply more difficult to relate to and love others.

And remember, that is the end goal, to become loving like Jesus is loving.

Think about that for a second. When you hear, / / “Be WITH Jesus // To become LIKE Jesus // To DO what Jesus did”, do you think of miracles, or do you think of love?

Do you think of all the healings and miracles, the preaching, the dynamic power at display through Jesus’ life?

Do we think of Mark 6, Jesus sending out the twelve disciples with power of the demonic forces, out healing the sick?

OR do you think of John 13:34-35, / / “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples if you have a love for one another.

How will all people know we are His disciples?

Not if you’re out there doing miracles.

Not if you healed Aunt Marie

But if you truly learned how to love.

Now, let me propose something to you, because the ultimate answer is both, but the first answer is this new commandment.

/ / Miracles will flow out of love, but without love miracles mean nothing.

I know, bold statement, but here we go:

Multiple times scripture says that Jesus was “moved with compassion… and healed all their sick” - Matthew 14:14, / / When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.

It was precisely BECAUSE Jesus was overflowing with love that he healed those who came to him. Not because he needed to display his power.

In fact, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, / / If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Jesus also said in Matthew 7:22-23, / / “On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

So, / / the more we learn to love, the more our hearts will yearn for a true and real divine outflow of God’s power in our lives to express that love.

BUT, / / loving like Jesus is the primary motive and goal.

The goal is to love like Jesus loved us.

The problem is we are carrying pain and trauma, and / / hurt people have a hard time loving!

When we are cowering in our pain, we have a hard time reaching out in love. And even though love is actually the thing WE need the most, we often times push it away for fear of pain and exposure and trying to “keep it together”.

So, when the goal is to love more deeply, but we are stuck living out of deep pain and hurt, or even if we’re stuck in living without processing our deep pain and hurt, then we are unable to love in the way we are meant to love.

And so, when we begin to employ these spiritual practices, we are doing two things.

First, / / we are quieting down enough to hear our own internal processing

Meaning we begin to hear, sense, and feel the deep things of our hearts.

Second, / / we are actively positioning ourselves in the place of healing

Sometimes things get worse before they get better, even if that’s just because we were blissfully unaware before, and now we are very well aware.

My Father-in-law used to always say, “I was completely healthy until I went to the doctor and he told me what was wrong with me…”

It is difficult to face the things that we need to change or need healing in.

Those days where I was fasting and beyond irritable, I did not like what was coming out of me. And I wondered if the process was even worth it. Honestly. The point is not to be short with my wife and daughter, it’s to love them more. It felt like, “This isn’t working…”

But:

/ / Healing takes time and commitment.

/ / Healing takes release and humility to say I can’t do it on my own.

And if you have had any of that type of feeling:

Obstructive, or inflicting thoughts when you go to pray.

Reminder of sin, your past, your hurts.

Memories of pain or trauma.

Anger, resentment, frustration…

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

John Mark Comer says it like this, / / “When we slow down and come to quiet before God all our undigested emotional pain that we’ve pushed down in the busy-ness of life, comes up. From the shadows to the surface of our heart.”

Thomas Keating says that / / the first thing that comes up in quiet prayer is “the unloading of the unconscious.”

/ / “When we commit ourselves to the spiritual journey, the first thing the Spirit does is start removing the emotional junk of a lifetime that is inside of us.” – Thomas Keating

So, / / what might feel like we’re not doing the spiritual practices right, because

…well, I’m angry when I’m fasting, or sad when I’m praying

or want to cry when I spend time in the presence of God..

/ / …is actually the process of God working in us toward healing.

Remember a couple weeks ago I made the analogy of being a deformed rock, all of life’s happenings, the things we’ve gone through and experienced, shape us and chip away at us, giving us rough edges and jagged bits. And if we want to become that perfect round sphere, the representation of being Christ-like, we have to go through the process of allowing the Holy Spirit to now be the one to chip away, even gently sanding off, those edges over time, but there is a losing of ourselves so we can gain Christ.

When talking about truly becoming a disciple, Jesus says in Matthew 16:25, / / “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

Are we trying to hold on to what we were, what we went through, maybe because we’re afraid of facing the truth, or the pain of it. Or are we willing to let go of ourselves, the good, the bad, the ugly, for the sake of truly finding ourselves in Jesus?

This is a willingness to go through the process of healing to become truly whole in Christ Jesus, which is the main goal, to become like him: loving, kind, self-giving and others preferring.

And depending on what you have gone through in your life, this might mean you have some pretty heavy pain to get through, to be healed from.

Depending on what you’ve been through it may be a longer process for you.

It may be a different process than what I have to go through.

I’ve shared about my past with insecurity. I’ve had moments of healing where I felt like the Holy Spirit did a work to propel me forward, and I’ve also had many more moments of redefining what I believe by inputting the truth into my heart through the Scriptures and allowing the healing presence of God to do a work in me over time.

In many ways God made us miraculously able to hold pain until we were able to deal with it.

Think of how adrenaline works in the body. We are somehow able to muscle through excruciating pain to the point of doing what even seems humanly impossible, until we are able to get the attention we need for healing.

And likewise, we see children who have gone through trauma completely block out the memory of the pain so that they can simply function.

But, in the case of that physical adrenaline that at some point that adrenaline starts to wear off and the flood of pain comes surging in.

Emotionally we hold pain as well, often very different than muscling through, it’s usually by pushing down, ignoring and trying our best to move on, but often times there is a point that that cap comes off.

Here’s the big point. / / Healing does not happen in the shadows. Healing does not happen in the dark hidden places. It happens in the light.

James 5:16, / / confess your sins one to another that you might be healed.

There’s something about bringing our darkest pain and sin to the forefront, to the open, so that healing can come.

1 John 1:7, / / But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

John 8:12, the NLT says this beautifully: / / Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”

In the therapy world they call the revealing of this emotional pain a trailhead. It is exactly what it sounds like, the beginning of a trail, inviting you to walk down it.

/ / Pain is an invitation from your soul to explore a path in your story, to follow it down to the origin point to find healing.

Just like Physical pain is a signal to let you know that there is something wrong that you need to deal with.

Emotional pain is a signal from our soul that some aspect of our life is in need of attention, healing, and love.

And in our inability to truly deal with our pain we often cover in one of three ways:

/ / 1. Deny

Most popular response, especially in Christian circles.

We call our denial faith in God

“Spiritual Bypassing” – using spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks. But, this is a futile attempt to coopt the Christian theology of hope to skip over our pain.

THREE Problems:

/ / Problem1 1: denial works incredibly well!

/ / Problem 2: It is the most effective of all coping strategies.

/ / Problem: It’s short term, and it’s incredibly dangerous

Physical pain – if you get hurt, But it’s not serious, your body will most likely heal on its own, no problems. BUT, if it’s serious, and you ignore it, if you pretend it’s not there, it can grow below the surface and damage you irreparably, or even worse, take your life long term.

/ / Denying any part of our inner life, especially the parts of our lives that need a real healing touch, will always have destructive consequences, first on us, but also, on those around us.

/ / 2. Detach

Emotionally disconnect from your feelings.

This is where it can get a little tricky, because some people seem to be able to do this, “really well”, except here’s the thing, it’s still a form of dealing with our emotional pain in an unhealthy way.

/ / Detaching from pain is not healing.

It actually causes greater problems. When we cut off our emotional pain, we inadvertently cut ourselves off from the whole spectrum of emotion, lows AND highs.

/ / The more we intentionally cut off the feelings of sadness or pain that we don’t want to feel, the more we inadvertently cut off our ability to experience joy, wonder, or gratitude.

/ / 3. Drug

/ / This can be literal physical drugs, alcohol, cannabis, pain medication, but most often this is a figurative pain relief mechanism by diverting our attention.

/ / Our drugs of choice become

Work, career, sex, romance, social media, entertainment, tv, film, video games…

/ / We use these to distract us FROM our pain and our God, rather than taking a pathway through our pain TO God

Drugs, either literally or figuratively, cause a momentary relief from our pain, but over time actually make our anxiety and sadness worse, not better.

CONCLUSION: / / Denial, Detachment, Drugs are all temporary and flawed ways to deal with pain, and none of them are the Jesus way

/ / Today’s Point: The Jesus way is this: To Meet God IN Our Pain

Matthew 26 is Jesus’ lowest and most painful moment on earth:

Judas betrayal

Best friends denial

Disciples abandonment

Coming rejection, humiliation, rest and physical torture, pain and death on the cross

Does Jesus DENY his pain? “I’m good, others for sure have it worse than I do. I’m good guys, don’t worry.”

NO

Does he detach? “Well, it is what it is. I said I’d go through it, I guess I have to.”

NO

Does he drug? “Alright boys, let’s eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow I die!”

NO

He goes to a quiet place, with his closest friends, that he can share anything with then goes to His Father with his pain… Let’s read the story:

Matthew 26:36-45

/ / Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will. And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Sleep and take your rest later on. See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.”

Notice the words in this passage of Scripture.

/ / He began to be sorrowful and troubled…

Jesus goes away, first with his disciples, then separated with his closest friends, where he feels safe enough to say to them, / / “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death…”

Let’s just ask the obvious question – when was the last time you were with some very close friends and said anything to that effect?

“Guys, I don’t know how to describe it, but I’m pushed to the brink.”

And you actually felt safe enough to, first of all, connect with those emotions yourself, second of all, to share it with those close to you.

In total transparency, when my mom had a stroke a few weeks ago, I have two very close friends in this city that I can share anything with, and I didn’t even know how to, in my own spinning world of confusion and disorientation, even know how to tell them. One I finally shared with a few days later when I saw him, and the other on the phone a week later when he called me about something else entirely.

I’m not saying I was alone with no one to talk to. David is a close personal friend and we were both here that day, and I came right out here and shared with Him, and we prayed together.

Of course I called Kelley, and messaged all of you and you’ve been praying with us and I am grateful.

But as I was going through this, I kept hearing in my heart and head, “WHY AM I NOT CONTACTING MY CLOSE FRIENDS…”

It was so easy to just disconnect.

/ / Jesus doesn’t disconnect.

He doesn’t deny, he doesn’t detach, he doesn’t drug.

Not only does he open up to his close friends, but he then goes one step further, into a place of quiet solitude with God and there opens his deepest pain to the Father.

And this is the kind of relationship that your heavenly Father wants with you.

Jesus meets His Father in that pain by offering up his feelings to God in prayer.

This is a practice that has come to be known as “Lament”

Pete Scazzaro defines this in his book “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality”

He says, / / “It is impossible to be spiritually mature, while remaining emotionally immature.”

Emotional health doesn’t mean we’re happy all the time.

That’s called delusional.

If you think you have to come into church every week with a smile, please let that burden fall off. You don’t.

Kelley and I were talking after service last week and just the raw and important difficult journey we walked through worshipping God in the midst of grief and sorrow.

In our pain we gave our praise.

In our suffering we came in prayer.

In our questions, doubts even, our concerns for our friends and family, we gave of ourselves in service to the King of Kings.

And it wasn’t easy.

It was difficult.

And that’s ok, because that’s part of the process.

When Jesus comes to Bethany where his friend Lazarus had died, and he sees his sisters and the community around them crying, John 11:35 says he wept. Jesus was emotionally connected to the pain he felt. He didn’t deny, detach or drug, he felt, deeply. He processed with his friends and in the place of prayer with His Father.

Emotional pain is an opportunity to encounter the Father’s love and healing.

Recall what we said two weeks ago, Paul, writing to the church in Rome, / / …we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:3-5)

There isn’t even mention of a miracle there. Except that the process produces in us a hope that cannot be shaken, and is that not the greatest miracle of all?

So, going back to Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, having already shown this deep emotion toward and in front of Lazarus’ family and friends, he’s now in the garden, burdened, and telling his closest friends, “I’m sorrowful to the point of death.”

Let’s read how desperate a situation this is from Luke’s perspective.

Luke 22:43-44, / / And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. And being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

This is an actual medical condition called / / hematidrosis and is brought on by extreme stress and excessive exertion.

Just so you understand. This is not a unique to Jesus moment, meaning, this is not a divine, or somehow special to Jesus and only Jesus thing. Jesus is suffering in a way that humanity does in fact suffer.

Leonardo da Vinci wrote about a soldier who had bloody sweat after battle.

And there are many other documented cases as well.

/ / The point is not that this is a unique Jesus situation, the point is that Jesus is identifying with human suffering to the point of sweating blood.

/ / Jesus is deeply emotional and deeply connected to his pain and suffering.

And what does Luke say he does in that moment of being so extremely stressed, / / And being in agony he prayed more earnestly…

/ / Emotional health requires something of us.

/ / 1. You’re aware of your feelings

the capacity to notice and name your inner life…

You connect deeply with what you feel and can identify what it is you feel.

This is actually something I’m working on with my therapist. I’m not good at naming my emotions. I’m not good at describing what I feel.

How many wives in the room get frustrated with their husbands, or parents with their children when they ask, “How are you?” And all you ever get is a, “good”… or “meh”…

/ / 2. You’re not run (managed) by your feelings

I like to say, You either manage your emotions or your emotions manage you.

You learn to have a capacity to actually sit with your feelings, not giving in to those three things we talked about, Denial, Detachment, Drugs. You let yourself and your body process these emotions WITH the FATHER, in a place of prayer, as you allow the Holy Spirit to work in you to transform you into a more healed, whole and loving person.

Psychologists call this, “Emotional Regulation”, but the writers of the New Testament call it, “Self-Control” - Paul lists that as a fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5. But he lays out a process in those verses.

He says:

/ / (1) …those who belong to Christ Jesus (salvation) Galatians 5:24

/ / (2) …have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires (discipleship, deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me…) Galatians 5:24

/ / (3) …keep in step with the Spirit (led by the Spirit of God, like Jesus was) Galatians 5:25

What Paul’s saying is this Spiritual fruit, including Self-Control, is part and parcel to this process of being WITH Jesus to become LIKE Jesus so we can DO What Jesus did.

Jesus was an emotionally connected and healthy person, and if we want to be with him, and become like him, we ought to desire what he desired, to be connected with his human emotions in a healthy and Christlike way.

And like Jesus in the Garden we recognize we need to become aware of and willing to walk in and through our pain with and toward the Father.

To become emotionally healthy we must go on an inner journey to meet God in our pain.

And as we looked at Jesus in the Garden we saw these two crucial ways of journeying through pain.

/ / We have to be open and willing to share our pain together in community and we need to learn to pray our pain to God the Father.

/ / Because if we allow hurt, anger, bitterness and fear to fester in our souls, it will undermine our best intentions to become like Jesus.

But the opposite is also true:

/ / The very pain and suffering that can sabotage our spiritual formation can become the secret to our spiritual formation. Our breakdowns become breakthroughs.

/ / Where do we go from here?

We don’t have enough time to walk through the whole process, but we also don’t want to just leave this at, “Ok, go have a good week, hopefully you suffer less…”

Where do we go from here?

I’m going to give you four steps and I pray and I plead with you to follow these in your life in the coming days and weeks.

/ / 1. Identify the pain

Be willing to feel so that you can pursue healing

I don’t mean by this that you sit in your pain and hurt. But you do need to identify the pain.

It’s amazing how often people struggle and simply just don’t know what it is they are actually feeling. You ask them what they are feeling and they say, “I don’t know…”

This can especially be true if you are new to this.

So, we want to identify what we are feeling because the enemy likes to hide in the shadows, in the unknown, in the hiddenness. And we want to expose the hurt and pain, bringing it into the light where Jesus can heal you.

When we notice and identify those feelings, they have less power over us.

When we name a painful emotion like fear, anger, disappointment or jealousy, brain scans actually show that it helps to process and quiet that emotion

I’ve included a cheat sheet of emotions and feelings to help you in the process.

How? Do we just sit around and wait to feel something?

I’m confident that if you took time to spend in the presence of God, in silence and solitude, and prayer, that the Holy Spirit would work with you, yes.

But I have found more recently, that I have these emotional responses often enough that I can simply take note of it, and then when I do have time to take a moment, I can sit down and process what I was feeling and why.

You don’t have to go hunting. In fact, you might overwhelm yourself if you do.

But as I said, often times, when we begin to employ these Spiritual Disciplines toward transformation and Spiritual formation, we tend to have these things come up in us. You just have to be aware and willing to bring them to God.

/ / 2. Feel the Pain

This is where we choose not to deny, detach or drug…

If you are in the moment feeling it and have the time to stop and sit through it, go for it. If you are busy and just taking note of it so you can process later, that’s ok, but you may need to really sit and allow yourself to feel what you were feeling again.

We don’t always have the time to stop and work through an emotional response in the moment while we are at work, or with our kids, or out shopping with our spouse.

This is contrary to what we normally do. We usually turn away from our feelings, run, hide, or employ one of those things we walked about earlier, Deny, Detach, Drug.

You’re not going to do that this time. You are no longer running from the pain.

/ / 3. Offer it to God

Give God your feelings – Tell him what you are feeling, with no filter

Give God your desires – tell him what you really want, good or bad. Be honest.

Give God your trust – surrender your heart again to Him. Stop grasping for control and yield yourself to God and his will for your life. You may want to pray Jesus’ own prayer, “Not my will, but yours be done.” Remember: You are no longer running from your pain. You will not deny, you will not detach, you will not drug the pain.

/ / 4. Open up with people you trust

If you don’t have people you trust, start there, find people you can trust.

This is why we do women’s group and men’s group

This is why we do Thursday night prayer

This is why we hang out after church and drink coffee together

This is why we invite people to our homes to have dinner together

As we continue to move forward there will be more opportunity to be within close groups of people, but don’t wait. Don’t sit around waiting for the perfect opportunity. The perfect opportunity is now.

We need a community of like-minded, Jesus-following believers that we can trust to walk with us and pray with us in our pain toward healing.

This might just simply be sharing what you’ve already prayed through with God. Although in my experience, depending on the emotion or the trauma it stems from, the road to healing is longer than one single prayer.

That’s not to be discouraging, it’s to employ endurance.

We are in this together, to walk together, for the long haul.

I want people praying with me for my freedom!

We are working toward healing so we can love like Jesus loved. Read 1 Corinthians 13 on what love is:

Love is patient, love is kind, it rejoices in the truth, it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

We are building a community of love toward each individual finding healing and wholeness in community and relationship with each other and Jesus. To do what Jesus did, remember what he said, it’s about loving like he loves.

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