Ruin and Redemption?

Intro

Sexual sin and purity is something we have to talk about as men, because it is something that affects all of us

Some of you have struggled with it and it is an ongoing temptation

Some of you are living in sexual sin right now and trying to hide it

Some of you have men you know who are deeply entrenched in it

Some of you are living in victory over it and are walking with others

Regardless, there is not a single person in this room is has been unaffected by sexual sin

And sexual sin takes many forms

From the extra long, too-personal look when you see an attractive woman

To an ongoing addiction to pornography

To living in an adulterous relationship with another person

If you are single it takes certain forms, like sexual acts outside of marriage

If you are married, it takes certain forms

The reality is that as men we have to be really clear on a few things

The reality of sexual sin

The progression of sexual sin

The fight against sexual sin

The reality of sexual sin

Its real

Let’s stop pretending like it isn’t

Let’s stop acting like it is something other people struggle with

We are men - We all struggle with it… either in the fight against it or in the embracing of it.

We all face it - So first thing we need to all agree to stop doing is pretending like it doesn’t exist.

But too often, shame causes us to not talk about it

I am ashamed that I struggle with it, because I think I should be stronger

I am ashamed that i struggle with it, because I know it is sin and I shouldn’t be doing it

I am ashamed because it is shameful… It is the exploitation of a woman for my own sexual enjoyment… A dehumanization of her

But if we are to have victory in the fight against sexual sin, shame cannot be our motivator, but a desire for purity.

And when we know how sin progresses, we can cut it off and cut it out of our lives as we pursue purity together.

The progression of sexual sin

Tonight - Pivotal point in the life of David

Pivotal because it was the point that his entire life and family changed

And if we do not head the warning of his life, it will be the same sin that will forever change our lives and families as well.

We are going to walk through 2 Sam. 11-13 and just hit a few points to follow the narrative, seeing them as instructive for us

Big Idea: The choice between ruin and redemption is made when I choose to either cover up or confess.

I choose ruin when I cover up

I choose redemption when I confess

We are going to look at David’s life and see 5 waypoints on the path of sexual sin

And every single one of us is at one of these waypoints

And if we will confess them and flee from them, we will be protected from ruin and move toward redemption

I. Sexual Sin Starts When We Aren’t Where We Should Be (2 Samuel 11:1)

“In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle… David remained at Jerusalem.”

David was supposed to be leading in battle, but instead, he was lounging in comfort.

Application: Temptation often comes when we are aimless (literal meaning of the word).

Nothing more destructive to a community than bored men…

I am on the path to ruin comes when I am bored

I am living in redemption comes when I live with purpose, doing what I know God wants me to do

Where should you be? What should you be doing? Do that, live with purpose, and don’t get caught by temptation when you’re bored

II. Sexual Sin Grows When We Entertain What We Should Avoid (2 Samuel 11:2-4)

David saw Bathsheba bathing → He inquired about her → He took her → He lay with her.

What began as a look led to lust, which led to action—a pattern repeated throughout Scripture (James 1:14-15).

Application: You might not be up on your roof, but your phone and your computer gives you a multitude of rooftops…

The moment we entertain sin instead of fleeing, we step onto a path of destruction. A look turns into lingering, lingering turns into lust, and lust leads to sexual sin

Ruin comes when I let the images that float past me to hold my attention

I am on the road to redemption when I look away.

Unfollow, hide posts… Or just delete the apps all-together

Set boundaries in your relationships

Install apps like Covenant eyes to hold you accountable when you linger…

III. Sexual Sin Leads to Deception and Further Sin (2 Samuel 11:5-27)

Bathsheba’s pregnancy forces David into a desperate cover-up—trying to manipulate Uriah.

When Uriah’s integrity prevents the cover-up, David escalates sin to murder.

David used his power to hide his sin, but God saw it all

2 Samuel 11:27 “But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord.”

Application: Sin will always demand more sin to cover its tracks.

Lies, cover up, ruining friendships, hiding charges, deleting browsing history…

Ruin comes when I cover up my sin to protect myself

Redemption comes when i confess it, bring it to the light, and repent of it.

Sexual sin will always:

Keep you longer than you planned

Take you deeper than you ever meant to go

Cost you more than you ever wanted to pay

Which leads to the fourth point:

IV. Sexual Sin Brings God’s Judgment and Lasting Consequences (2 Samuel 12:1-23)

The Prophet Nathan confronts David and tells him what will happen

God’s discipline was severe

The baby died

David’s family is thrown into chaos

His legacy is forever damaged

Application: God’s grace offers forgiveness, but sin still carries consequences.

What we think is done in secret will eventually be exposed (Numbers 32:23).

Ruin comes after we try to hide our sin - The way it will come out into the light will wreak so much more havok than if we would have confessed it in the first place.

Redemption comes when I confess my sin and trust God in the midst of the consequences.

And 5th

V. Sexual Sin Affects More than just my personal life (2 Samuel 13:1-22)

The pattern repeats with his family

Amnon, his son, sees his sister, Tamar, and takes her and rapes her

Absolum, David’s son, then kills Amnon

Lust, sex, murder…

Application: Our choices impact our families, children, marriages, and legacies.

This is why you hear me say so often, “As go the men of the local church, so goes the local church.”

Ruin comes to my family when the pattern of my life is an embrace of sin

Redemption comes when I allow the grace of God and the pursuit of purity to be the pattern that I follow

The Fight against sexual sin

Steps to take now in the pursuit of purity

Confess your sin to those affected

Reach out to someone who understands (The importance of empathy in overcoming shame)

Be proactive in fleeing temptation

See this as a life-long battle