Biblical Affirmation

Lead Vocalist (Kelly)

Welcome & Announcements (Jason)

Good morning family!

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____ announcements:

1) Announcement 1

What to do and how to respond

2) Announcement 2

What to do and how to respond

3) Announcement 3

What to do and how to respond

Now please take a moment of silence to prepare your heart for worship.

Call to Worship (Psalm 5:11-12)

Prayer of Praise (Mendi Keatts)

Hymn of the Ages

O For a Thousand Tongues to Sing

Prayer of Confession (Kevin Hammond), critical spirits

Assurance of Pardon (Isaiah 53:4-5)

Alas & Did My Savior Bleed

My Worth Is Not in What I Own

Scripture Reading (2 Thessalonians 1:1-5)

You can find it on page 1175 in the black Bibles

Pastoral Prayer (Jason)

Prayer for PBC—Help us to practice biblical affirmation

Prayer for kingdom partner—Good News Club

Prayer for US—Against addiction

Prayer for the world—Uzbekistan*

Pray for the sermon

SERMON

START TIMER!!!

13 years ago I was a 27-year-old senior pastor, doing my best to lead a tiny little church in Louisville, Kentucky.

This may surprise you, but even small churches have problems.

And, like it or not, part of a pastor’s job is to deal with problems.

I still don’t enjoy dealing with problems, but back then I really didn’t enjoy it.

In fact, I was the type who would avoid, avoid, avoid, problems until they became such a big issue I was forced to deal with them.

That’s what happened with one couple who were members at the church—we’ll call them Timmy and Shelly.

The details of the problem aren’t important.

What you need to know is I had avoided the problem for weeks and weeks until I could avoid it no longer.

I was determined to approach them and deal with the issue the next time I saw them.

And so, about five minutes before Sunday night service began I saw them getting out of their car in the church parking lot.

So I went outside and confronted them before they walked into the building.

No encouragement, no affirmation, no discussion, no questions, no back-and-forth, simply a frustrated pastor telling two members why they needed to get their act together.

Needless to say it did not end well. But that’s another story for another day.

After the dust settled from that episode of pastoral failure, I needed to find a better way to handle problems.

I knew avoiding problems was wrong.

But I also knew the way I handled that particular problem was wrong too.

I needed an approach to handling problems that didn’t pummel people.

An approach like Jesus, who could rebuke His disciples without ruining the relationship.

An approach like what’s modeled by the Apostle Paul in our text this morning...

Turn to 2 Thessalonians 1.

Most scholars believe just a few months have passed since Paul completed his first letter to the Thessalonians. [1]

One reason for that is found in the first two verses of our text:

2 Thessalonians 1:1–2—Paul, Silvanus, and Timothy, To the church of the Thessalonians in God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

This is, of course, the traditional greeting at the beginning of a letter.

Much of this is identical to the introduction of 1 Thessalonians, which we studied back in September.

But the reason most believe 1st and 2nd Thessalonians were written only a few months apart is the name “Silvanus” (also known as Silas) mentioned in verse 1.

SHOW PAUL’S SECOND JOURNEY SLIDE

Silas and Timothy were with Paul when he started the church in Thessalonica around 51 A.D.

When persecution intensified in Thessalonica, all three men went to Berea, Paul went by himself to Athens, then the three of them were reunited in Corinth.

After spending 18 months in Corinth, Paul traveled back to Antioch and there’s no record he ever traveled with Silas again.

Which means BOTH 1st and 2nd Thessalonians—the only two letters listing Paul, Silvanus and Timothy in the introduction—were likely written while Paul was staying in Corinth at the tail end of his second missionary journey.

But why is Paul writing this second letter? Especially so shortly after the first letter?

There are two problems in Thessalonica Paul is confronting.

Both problems were hinted at in 1 Thessalonians, but it seems sometime between the first and second letter the problems have grown worse.

One problem is false teaching about the return of Christ. We’ll see how Paul handles that problem in chapter 2.

The other problem is certain members at the Thessalonian church who lazily refused to work. We’ll see how Paul handles that problem in chapter 3.

But what I want you to see this morning is how Paul begins.

Unlike 27-year-old Hopson, he didn’t tackle the problem in a rushed conversation five minutes before a church service.

In fact, he doesn’t start with the problem at all.

Paul is not afraid to deal with conflict. We’ll soon see Paul tackle these problems clearly, firmly, and bluntly.

But Paul also understands that the blows of rebuke must be softened by pillows of affirmation.

Like King Jesus before him, Paul knows how to cultivate resilient relationships that can handle the pain of rebuke and confrontation.

And if we want to have resilient relationships—relationships that can handle hard things and hard conversations—we’ll learn from Paul’s example.

The Big idea I hope to communicate from Paul’s example is that Affirmation is the key to resilient relationships.

We don’t use that term affirmation a whole lot, so let me give you a definition.

This comes from Sam Crabtree's phenomenal book, Practicing Affirmation.

By the way, I’m going to quote from this book multiple times today because it’s so helpful in this area. And if you’d like to grow in affirmation, you should pick up a copy of this book in the bookstall after the service today.

Here’s the definition for affirmation...

“Affirmation is truthfully declaring by complimentary word or action the goodness of something. Good affirmation attests, certifies, or confirms that which honors God, that which is morally upright.” [2]

Affirmation is kind of like encouragement, but it’s a little different. Encouragement looks forward, like a cheerleader spurring the team on to win the game. It’s pushing someone to behave a certain way in the future. But affirmation looks backward at what has already been done and celebrates that. [3]

And I agree with Crabtree who argues that affirmation is the key to resilient relationships.

Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying here.

I am NOT saying we only affirm and never talk about hard things.

Paul is going to confront and even rebuke the Thessalonians in this letter.

In fact, Paul rebukes so sternly in this second letter that liberal scholars have questioned if Paul is even the author.

We believe Paul is the author. His tone is more intense in this letter because the problems are more intense.

Also, when I say affirmation is “the key” to resilient relationships, I’m NOT saying this is the most important thing in relationships.

As Crabtree says, the key is not the the most important part of a home. “The rooms, the roof, the walls, the doors, the windows, the square footage are more important than the key. But without the key, you can’t have the rest. The key is crucial for gaining access.” [4]

In the same way, affirmation gives you access to many more important parts of relationships. You won’t be able to do other things well unless you learn how to use this key.

But my guess is many of us feel like our relationships are just fine, thank you very much.

So today, with God’s help, I want to show you Three Reasons for Affirmation:

First, we should affirm because God COMMANDS us to Affirm Others,

… second, we should affirm because God is GLORIFIED When we Affirm Others

… and finally we should affirm because God USES Our Affirmation.

1) God COMMANDS Us to Affirm Others.

Look with me at…

2 Thessalonians 1:3—We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brothers, as is right…

Perhaps you think of affirmation like the whip cream on a milkshake. It’s nice, but it’s certainly not necessary.

But Paul uses two words—ought and right—to convey biblical affirmation as an obligation for the Christian.

Affirmation is not merely something we can do, or even something we should do, but something we must do.

Just consider a few of the places where God commands us to affirm others...

Proverbs 31:30—Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Scripture says the right response to a woman who fears the Lord is to praise her, to affirm her!

There is no reason why we shouldn’t respond the same way to a man who fears the Lord.

This idea is even more explicit in the New Testament...

1 Thessalonians 5:11—Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

We looked at this passage a few weeks ago. It’s the conclusion to a section about the return of Christ.

Paul is saying, “because Jesus is not here physically and waiting for His return is often hard, we need to encourage and affirm each other.”

It’s significant that the words “encourage” and “build one another up” are both imperatives, meaning these aren’t suggestions. These are Apostolic commands given to Christians through the inspiration of the Spirit. These are commands from the mouth of God!

To the church in Rome, Paul writes in...

Romans 12:10—Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

I love this verse because it pictures Christian affirmation almost like a race.

It kind of reminds me of an episode in The Office. Dwight buys everyone bagels for breakfast, but Andy doesn’t want to be in Dwight’s debt so he shines Dwight’s briefcase. Dwight actually wants Andy to be in his debt, so he holds the door open for Andy. But then Andy holds the door open for Dwight, so Dwight gives Andy a fitness tip, so Andy straightens Dwight’s jacket, so Dwight straightens Andy’s tie, so Andy cleans Dwight’s glasses, and on and on they go. [5]

Aside from the part about trying to get someone to owe you favors, that’s kind of what Christian affirmation is supposed to look like. They affirm you, you affirm back, and on and on it goes.

Before we move on from here, it’s important we think practically for just a moment.

If affirmation is an obedience issue—and it is—we must also obey in the types of things we are affirming.

In a fallen world, there are plenty of things we shouldn’t affirm.

We shouldn’t affirm each other to follow our hearts.

We shouldn’t affirm and celebrate decisions and lifestyles in direct disobedience to the Word of God.

We shouldn’t affirm our little ones when they disobey or throw temper tantrums.

Biblical affirmation is not about building self-esteem or never saying hard things to each other. It’s about celebrating the things God celebrates.

And it’s the key to resilient relationships.

We should use the key of affirmation because God commands us to affirm others.

But also we should affirm because…

2) God is GLORIFIED When We Affirm Others.

Let’s keep reading…

2 Thessalonians 1:3–4—We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brothers, as is right, because your faith is growing abundantly, and the love of every one of you for one another is increasing. Therefore we ourselves boast about you in the churches of God for your steadfastness and faith in all your persecutions and in the afflictions that you are enduring.

Notice three reasons Paul is affirming this local church...

Their faith is growing abundantly,..

… their love for one another is increasing,

… and they are steadfastly believing despite suffering.

But WHO does Paul thank for the believers’ faith, love, and steadfastness? He thanks God!

In his commentary, G.K. Beale writes: “That Paul thanks God and not the readers for their faith, love and endurance shows that they contributed nothing to achieving salvation but were the object of God’s unconditional, gracious action.” [6]

If you have faith in Jesus, where did that faith come from? Was it because you were smart enough to figure it out? Or because God was gracious enough to grant you faith? The Bible is clear that faith is a gift, so that no one can boast!

If you have any amount of love for your fellow man, where did that love come from? Any love you have—however imperfect—is merely a reflection of the love of God. God IS love, meaning all true love is an overflow from Him!

And if you are able to steadfastly keep believing, it is only because God has graciously enabled you to do so. If you could lose your salvation, you already would have!

Paul thanks God for these things in the Thessalonians’ lives because God is the source!

But I want you to notice the connection between praising God and affirmation: When we faithfully affirm others for the work God is doing in them, God gets the glory!

Listen to the way Sam Crabtree explains this:

“To fail to commend the character of Christ in people is to fall into the same lackluster indifference of a person who never exclaims what a beautiful morning it is, thereby robbing the Creator of glory he deserves for making that sky, that volcano, that character.” [7]

Or, he invites us to imagine the judges at the state fair, awarding a blue ribbon for an apple pie. They’re praising the pie but it’s the baker who gets the glory. The pie didn’t make itself. In the same way, when we praise others for the good things God is doing in their lives, God is the One who ultimately gets the glory! [8]

Again, let’s think practically about how we affirm before we move on.

You can often tell what a person values by the types of things they affirm.

The woman who regularly affirms someone for her outfit or makeup really cares about how people look.

The man who regularly affirms athletic achievements really cares about sports.

The person who regularly affirms accomplishments at work really cares about productivity.

None of those things are bad in and of themselves. But that’s not biblical affirmation.

Biblical affirmation is God-centered. It praises something God is doing in another person.

It’s praising someone for the way they’re loving their church family. Or their faithfulness to gather with God’s people even when they’re hurting. Or the way they selflessly serve behind the scenes.

For some of us this will be hard, because if we’re honest we get more excited about physical beauty or athletic accomplishments than we do about the things of God. But biblical affirmation is focused on the things that God values.

So if we’re going to grow in affirmation, we must learn to value what God values.

Because affirmation is the key to resilient relationships.

We should use the key of affirmation because God commands us, and He is glorified when we affirm others.

But finally we should affirm because…

3) God USES Our Affirmation.

If you’re paying attention to the time, you might think we’re finally going to beat the Methodists to lunch. It’s not happening. We’re going to spend most of our time on this last point.

Remember the context in Thessalonica…

These are new believers in a new church, and right off the bat they’re facing intense persecution.

It’s so intense that some are teaching the return of Jesus has already come, and they’ve somehow missed it!

So Paul begins this letter by affirming them. He says their suffering is NOT evidence God has forgotten them. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Their faithfulness in suffering is evidence they truly belong to Jesus.

2 Thessalonians 1:5a—This is evidence of the righteous judgment of God,

Okay, we need to stop for a second and make sure we understand Paul’s argument.

What is the “this” referring to at the beginning of verse 5?

Even though our ESV Bibles begin with a new section at verse 5, I think Paul is still talking about the believer’s faithfulness despite suffering that he mentioned in verse 4. That’s what the “this” is referring to.

Alright, let’s read the rest…

2 Thessalonians 1:5b—…that you may be considered worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are also suffering

Okay, so what is Paul saying?

James Grant explains it this way in his commentary...

“Paul is thankful for their growing faith in God, their increasing love toward one another, and their steadfast hope in the face of trials. He then explains that their steadfast faithfulness during persecutions and afflictions is ‘evidence of the righteous judgment of God.’ In other words, their current suffering is evidence that God has judged rightly and they are indeed his people. That is the exact opposite of what we think when we are suffering. Our immediate reaction to suffering and trials is that God is angry with us, that God is paying us back for something. When we go through trials, the various hardships and pains of this life, we are immediately inclined to think that God is angry. But that is the wrong perspective. Paul wants us to think differently. If we continue to trust God through our trials and afflictions, that, the perseverance of faith in trials, is evidence that God’s judgment has been passed upon us and we are part of his kingdom.” [9]

Suffering Christian, is this your perspective?

When life is hard do you assume God is mad at you? Do you question God’s love or His power?

Dear Christian, when you are faithful to keep believing even when life hurts, that is evidence you belong to God!

If you’re really paying attention, you might have a question at this point: Paul says their faithfulness is evidence that they are considered worthy to enter the kingdom of God.

But I thought we’re only considered worthy because of the righteousness of Christ. Which is it? Are we saved by faith in Christ, or by good works? Or by some combination of the two?

If you wanted to attend the Super Bowl, you need to spend a lot of money to buy a ticket. What gets you into the stadium? Is it the money or the ticket? Well the answer is both. Ultimately the team owner just cares about the money. It’s the money that really gets you into the stadium, the ticket is just a piece of paper. But you need the ticket as evidence that you really paid the price. [10]

Similarly, Christ’s death in our place is the price that was paid so we can enter the Kingdom of Heaven. But our good works— like faithfulness through suffering—are the ticket, the evidence that our sins have truly been paid for.

If you wanted to attend the Super Bowl, you wouldn’t have tried to design your own ticket. You would’ve pay the price and received a ticket.

And if you want to enter heaven, you don’t try to conjure up enough good works to get in. You trust that Jesus paid the price and receive the good works as a gift from the Holy Spirit who works within you.

Unbeliever, repent and believe!

To the Christians, let’s stop and consider how these words might have impacted the Thessalonian Christians.

If you’ve ever doubted your salvation, you can relate with what these believers were going through.

They’re hurting, life is hard, and they’re wondering if God has forgotten them.

How helpful would it be for the Apostle Paul himself to say, “Guys, I know God hasn’t forgotten you because you haven’t stopped believing!”

Doesn’t that make you want to turn your speakers up as loud as they can go and start playing a certain song by Journey?

I don’t know about you, but that would be like wind in my sails if I heard affirmation like that.

That’s what affirmation does! It strengthens us to keep holding on, to not give up!

The Apostle Paul puts it this way in...

Ephesians 4:29—Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Did you catch that? When we speak fitting words that build up, God uses those words as a conduit for His grace.

That’s the kind of pastor, husband, father, and friend I want to be when I grow up. I want to be someone who speaks in a way that God uses my words as a pipe where grace flows into the lives of His people.

Don’t you, Christian?

In his book, Sam Crabtree lists a number of Benefits of Affirmation. Here’s a few of them… [11]

1) It earns us the right to speak into another’s life.

People will be much more likely to hear your suggestions and even your critique if you regularly affirm them.

Mark Dever says “You can often accomplish more by encouraging. There are times to scold. But 80-90% of what you hope to correct can be accomplished through encouragement.”

Paul will eventually speak into several problems in the Thessalonian church. And one reason he’s able to gain a hearing is because he is so quick to affirm his readers.

2) It energizes people.

Another author calls it “adrenaline for the soul.”[12]

A rush of adrenaline empowers us to do things physically that we could not do otherwise.

Affirmation can do the same think for the soul! It energizes us to keep going, and even to do things we might not otherwise do.

By the way, I want you to notice a one-two punch about the way Paul affirms.

If you look at verse 4, you’ll notice that Paul is affirming the Thessalonians. That’s obvious.

But you’ll notice as well he also affirms them before others.

He says, we ourselves boast about you in the churches of God.

You will energize people if you affirm them publicly and privately. And those who hear your public affirmation will want to live in such a way to receive your affirmation also!

3) It makes us easier to live with.

Proverbs says a quarrelsome wife is like a dripping faucet.

Men, don’t elbow your wife because I’m pretty sure Solomon would say the same thing is true of a quarrelsome husband.

It’s hard to live with someone who’s constantly correcting. But someone who is regularly affirming is a joy to be around.

My 5th-6th grade Sunday School teacher was like that. I loved spending time with that guy because he was so encouraging to me and the other guys in our class. He had plenty of reasons to correct us, but more often than not he chose to affirm us for the things we were doing well.

4) It doesn’t waste time complaining.

Instead of complaining, we’re looking for things to affirm.

And if you’re not complaining, you’ll actually be in a better mood!

As the filmmaker Samuel Goldwyn said, “When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy!” [13]

5) It reinforces the behavior you’d like to see more of.

This is so basic, we even train our dogs this way. When you’re training a puppy your goal isn’t to scream at him whenever he does something wrong, but to encourage and reward him whenever he does something right.

Husbands and wives, what would happen if you spent more time affirming your spouse when they do something right rather than correcting all the things they do wrong? Don’t you think that would inspire him or her to do that thing more?

6) It gives God glory.

Like we said earlier, God is the One who gets the glory when we affirm others for the things He has done in their lives.

Sam Crabtree— “When we affirm God’s character in people around us, not only are we talking about character, we are actually exemplifying one aspect of God’s character.” [12]

God is not stingy with His affirmation, so we shouldn’t be either!

Just think about what Jesus will say to each of His followers on Judgment Day: “Well done My good and faithful servant!” Not “you did alright my mediocre servant!”

If Jesus can look at my feeble attempts at obedience and say “well done!” how much more should I be able to find reasons to affirm others?!?

Affirmation is the key to resilient relationships.

We should affirm others because God commands it, because He is glorified when we affirm, and because God uses our affirmation.

Sadly the relationship with Timmy and Shelly never recovered from my bone-headed drive-by confrontation that Sunday night.

I did what I could to confess my failure and try to restore the relationship, but in there minds it was too little too late.

I’m sure if you look back at your life you could see your own pile of ruined relationships, damaged—at least in part—by your failure to offer consistent, biblical affirmation.

But here’s the good news if you’re a follower of Jesus. You don’t have to remain paralyzed by your past failures. You can confess them, learn from them, and change for the glory of God and the good of His people.

Prayer of Thanksgiving

We Will Glorify

Benediction (2 Corinthians 13:14)