Untitled Sermon (6)

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Proverbs 27:14–19 KJV 1900

He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, It shall be counted a curse to him. A continual dropping in a very rainy day And a contentious woman are alike. Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, And the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself. Iron sharpeneth iron; So a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. Whoso keepeth the fig tree shall eat the fruit thereof: So he that waiteth on his master shall be honoured. As in water face answereth to face, So the heart of man to man.

Opener:  

 “Covering for a Friend”

“Have you ever had to cover for a friend before?”  We usually do this with statements like, 

“…He’s not usually like this.”

“…He doesn’t usually use that kind of language.”

“…He’s just kidding, he doesn’t really mean that.”

Couples…

Have you ever walked up when a couple was fighting?  No, I don’t mean that fighting where the she’s giving him that I’m going to kill when they aren’t looking eye.   I mean before you get their and they don’t see anyone else.  Voices raised, animated violence that I can’t describe or this has to be rated PG.  This is the scenario that Solomon uses.  Actually Solomon uses a scenario in which the wife is a “nagging wife.”  Solomon properly uses the word contentious.  See the contentious wife is a type of fool.  Solomon is pointing out the contentious wife because guys aren’t the only fools out there.  Foolishness will reveal itself in a wife that refuses to submit her spirit and in a failure to trust the role of the husband and the leadership of God in her life she controls through her fighting spirit.  

Truthfully a wife or a husband not submitted to the leadership of Christ in their life can resemble this contentious spirit.  When this happens there is a guilt on the spouse to cover.  

Solomon is saying you can try to hide that fighting spirit is like trying to hide the wind or too much cologne.

Proverbs 27:16 KJV 1900

Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, And the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself.

Now let me get to the point of bringing you here.  

None of us set out to be the 

Annoying Friend vs 14

Contentious Spouse (15)

Truth be told we don’t have to aim at these things to hit them. We can slowly overtime turn into that which we would never wish to inflict on another.

Time with Green Beans

When I was a kid I would help my Grandpa hoe green bean rows.  But he didn’t leave it to chance.  He would run a line from one end of the row to the other.  This line was a guide that kept the row going in a straight line.  He would teach me that to run the plow you don’t look at the line you are making or the line you made you set a point on the horizon and drive to that.  These are all tools the farmer would use to end where the set out to end.  

Ecclesiastes 7:8 KJV 1900

Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.

You and I don’t set out to have a foolish, contentious, or even annoying spirit.  We slide here over time, we gradually day after day can arrive here.  Solomon is telling his son then of a tool that God has given to us to prevent us from this spirit.  He is showing us the point on the horizon by which to gauge our spirit.  When we find our spirit out of line can bring us back to where we desire to be.  

Friends

This is the point on a line that can keep us from tragically ending up where we never meant to be.  

Now everyone in here knows that Solomon is not talking about all friends.   Anyone that has ever even been around a teenager knows that not all friends are worth calling friends.  Solomon warns about the type of people that we call friends.  

But Pastor…

I can here it all ready aren’t we supposed to be friendly to everyone. Yes, you are to love the lost, and love the saved.  But there is a difference between the men I count as friends and the men that I am friendly towards.  I can be friendly toward a fool, but I don’t call a fool for financial advice.  I won’t call a fool about what to get my wife for her birthday.  There is a difference between those I am showing Christ too, and those that I let affect my Christianity.  

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” - Jim Rohn

Proverbs 13:20 KJV 1900

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: But a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

Solomon makes this distinction.  

Avoid the Wanderer.

Proverbs 27:8 KJV 1900

As a bird that wandereth from her nest, So is a man that wandereth from his place.

We know what happens to birds that wander from their nests.  You have seen the dead lifeless form of a baby bird that had maybe in its excitement or frustration pushed himself from the comfort and security of the provision and protection of its mother and now lay cold and bloated on the ground.  

This is the image that Solomon gives for a man that knew what was right at one time and now has nothing to do with things of God.   Men who used to be leaders in their homes, and churches and now coax their ego’s with platitudes and good meaning.  They are dormant, lifeless, and sad.  If you don’t want to backslide don’t seek influence from those that are.  

James warnes us not to expect a doubleminded man to have any foundation

James 1:8 KJV 1900

A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

Accompany the Prudent.

Proverbs 27:12 KJV 1900

A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself; But the simple pass on, and are punished.

The prudent man is not a superhero.  He doesn’t get everything right he just happens to be watching.  He is plugged in.  This is a state that will come pretty early on in his walk with God.  And because it serves him well he will watch out for temptation, and hypocrisy.  Tended to it becomes discernment which leads him to leadership.  

He has heeded the command of Scripture to:

1 Peter 5:8 KJV 1900

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

How do these friend serve us…

Confrontation

Proverbs 27:6 KJV 1900

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Some of the most important moments in my spiritual development have been the men who cared enough to call me on my garbage.  When I was willing to settle for second best in myself they loved me and my ministry to much to let me get by with it.  

We have all had critics and people that said they were trying to help when really they were just jerks with an agenda.  

These have been the men that knew me well enough, and had invested in me enough that I knew they had a vested interest in my success and God has used these people in my life to bring about just the change that my spirit needed.  

It is going to be tempting to move away from these people that call us out, but please check your spirit before you write them off as needless critics.  And instead examine your own spirit that you can stop the slide.  

A heard a pastor not long ago use this statement, “make your critics your coaches” This one of those statements I had to write down and hold to.  

Counsel

Proverbs 27:9–10 KJV 1900

Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: So doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel. Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend, forsake not; Neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity: For better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off.

When I think of the important things that my father tried to teach me, I think none of the life lessons he tried to shove into my hard head were as important as learning to ask for help.  

Humility prevents Humiliation

Men and women it is not weakness to ask how.  It is humbling but it prevents humiliation.  Seeking wise counsel, and then listening to wise counsel.  We have plenty of people that have asked my counsel and then didn’t like what I said. Or did something different.  But counsel simply gives you a rounded view point.  A way to see around the sides of any issue.  

Connection

Proverbs 27:19 KJV 1900

As in water face answereth to face, So the heart of man to man.

Sometimes we need friends in our lives that just help us be better.  It has been said that the difference between the person you are today and who you will be five years from today are the books you read that friends you keep.  This is true.  It is good to have people who make you a better Christian.  

Can I just brag on my wife a little here.  She makes me better.  Now I am not talking about the selfish love the world has.  I mean she is a better Christian than I am, and that drives me.  She is a better friend than I am and it challenges me.  She is a godly example and I love her and in everyway seeing her example drives me to never stop growing.  When other guys joke about marrying up it is a solid truth in my life. 

Here is why to opening verse matters.

There is a principle at play in this passage

Proverbs 27:17 KJV 1900

Iron sharpeneth iron; So a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

We attribute a moral value of good to this…

Scripture does not. It warns iron rubs iron.

Conclusion: Christ, Our Greatest Friend and Example

Iron sharpens iron, and so we sharpen one another. But let’s be honest—sometimes, instead of sharpening, we grind each other down. Sometimes, instead of lifting each other up, we tear each other apart. We fail to be the kind of friend, spouse, or influence we are called to be.

But here’s the good news: where we fail, Christ succeeds.

Jesus is the ultimate friend—the one who never fails, never misleads, and never forsakes. He said in John 15:14-16,

John 15:14–16 KJV 1900

Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.

He doesn’t just call us to be wise and faithful—He empowers us to be. He gives us grace when we’ve been the contentious spouse, the foolish friend, the double-minded wanderer. And He doesn’t leave us there—He draws us back.

1. He lays down His life for us – John 15:13-15

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

Jesus calls His disciples friends and proves it by giving His life for them.

2. He loves at all times – Proverbs 18:24

“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

Jesus is the ultimate friend who never leaves or forsakes us.

3. He shares His heart with us – John 15:15

“Henceforth I call you not servants… but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.”

Jesus does not keep us in the dark but reveals His plans and the Father’s will to us.

4. He comforts us in our weaknesses – Hebrews 4:15-16

“For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities…”

As a friend, Jesus understands our struggles and invites us to come boldly to Him for grace and mercy.

5. He rejoices in our presence – Zephaniah 3:17

“…he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.”

Though this is primarily about God, Jesus as Emmanuel fulfills this role by delighting in His people.

6. He intercedes for us – Romans 8:34

“It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.”

A true friend stands in the gap, and Jesus is always interceding for us before the Father.

7. He welcomes us in our failures – Luke 7:34

“The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!”

Even though He is sinless, Jesus does not reject sinners but offers friendship and redemption.

8. He prepares a place for us – John 14:2-3

“I go to prepare a place for you… that where I am, there ye may be also.”

Jesus, as a loving friend, ensures that we have an eternal home with Him.

9. He gives us joy – John 15:11

“These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.”

True friendship brings joy, and Jesus desires that His joy fills our lives.

10. He stands by us in trials – 2 Timothy 4:17

“Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me…”

Even when others abandon us, Jesus remains a faithful friend.

When we submit to Christ, He becomes our standard, our guide, and our strength.

• He is the iron that sharpens us when we dull.

• He is the truth that confronts us when we wander.

• He is the wise counselor who leads us in righteousness.

Maybe today, you realize you’ve let the world shape you more than Christ has. Maybe you’ve been influenced more by fools than by the wise. Maybe you’ve been more of a burden to your spouse, your friends, or your church than a blessing.

Here’s the invitation: Turn to Jesus. Let Him sharpen you. Let Him refine you. Let Him lead you in wisdom, in righteousness, and in grace.

Because in the end, it’s not just about who we sharpen—it’s about who is sharpening us. And the greatest transformation happens when we are shaped by the hands of the Savior.

Let’s seek Him together.