My Choice To Forgive

Good morning. What a week this past week was. One of my favorite weeks of the year. The state wrestling tournament. We took 4 young ladies and 2 young men. 2 of the young ladies medaled and both young men medaled. It was a great week, a tiring week but a great week.

As we transition out of wrestling season into the off season in terms of coaching for me I am very excited.

One of the things I struggle with in terms of coaching and being a pastor is time. From mid August when school starts back up to end of February when wrestling is finished time is something that is hard for me.

I mentioned last week that God was working in my life to help me be engaged and part of that was a schedule. Part of that schedule is being available here at the church. Each week day I will be available at church from 3:30 to 5 pm. I am available after that by appointment, just see me or shoot me a text or call and we will work out a date and time that works to sit down.

Let’s Pray

We have reached out final week in the Power of Forgiveness sermon series

So far we have looked at Why I Cant Forgive in week 1

Why I Shouldn’t Forgive in Week 2

Why I Wont Forgive in week 3

and today My Choice to Forgive

Matthew 6:14-15

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14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

This is where it began.....the truth driving this series

if you are truly forgiven you must forgive others

There is an office supply company that has a commercial out with an easy button

hit that button and all your problems go away

how many would love a rewind button

a button that you can hit and go back and take back those words spoken in anger

or say no to that unwise suggestion

or take advantage of an opportunity wasted

or go back and salvage a wrecked relationship

As we all know there is no easy button

as we all know there is no rewind button

however God offers an antidote to heal the regrets of past mistakes.....Forgiveness

In this series I pray God has shown you many things

i pray the Holy Spirit has taught you many things

One thing I pray you have learned is

only the forgiven can forgive

you cant give away something you do not possess

This morning as we look at my choice to forgive we will look at guilt

Guilt is powerful

guilt is devastating

guilt drives people to do unthinkable things

Guilt destroys relationships both with others and with God

Guilt destroys relationships by having unrealistic expectations of yourself and others

as human many times you feel guilty about being guilty

everyone sitting here today and everyone watching online have something or somethings they are ashamed of in your lives, myself included

you must learn to deal with your guilt because it has far reaching affects both physically and spiritually

think of the people in mental wards or hospitals that could be released if they knew how to find forgiveness

guilt is powerful and wrecks your relationships because it makes you avoid people you have wronged

guilt produces separation

both separation from people and from God

Isaiah 59:2

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But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, And your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.

What a terrifying scripture

you and I willingly separate ourselves from God when we sin

I Timothy 1:18-19

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18 This charge I commit unto thee, son Timothy, according to the prophecies which went before on thee, that thou by them mightest war a good warfare; 19 Holding faith, and a good conscience; which some having put away concerning faith have made shipwreck:

Paul tells us here because of faith in Christ you can have a good conscience

How do you have a good conscience

treasuring your faith in Jesus more than anything in the world and walking in newness of life...obeying God and His Word

Do you have a guilty conscience

do scenes from your past keep coming to your mind

do you wish you could go back and erase things

do you keep distant from others because of guilt

are you distant from God because of guilt

I love king David

he was real

he was authentic

he was genuine

he messed up a lot....really bad sometimes but always returned to God eventually

in II Samuel 11 and 12 we have the telling of David and Bathsheba

If you will recall David’s troubles began when he didn't go where he was supposed to go

his men were at battle and he was supposed to be with them but he stayed home

Had he gone where he was supposed to go and done what he was supposed to be doing none of this would have happened

he chose to be in the wrong place at the wrong time

i wonder how many times you and I do the exact same thing....chose to be in the wrong place at the wrong time

David ends up having an affair with Bathsheba who was married to Uriah one of Kind David’s soldiers off at war

David goes through great lengths to cover up the affair but fails....in the end he sends Uriah back to the front line with a note for everyone to pull back and let him be killed which is exactly what happened

Bathsheba is pregnant by David and David killed her husband

This sin was far reaching.....David and Bathsheba’s son conceived in this sin died

Davids son Amnon would rape his half-sister and another of David’s sons Absolom would kill Amnon and then follow in Davids footsteps by having many affairs with David’s wives in plain view of the people

Davids sons fought and killed each other leading to civil war

on top of all of that David never admitted his sin until he was confronted by Nathan the prophet

Imagine the guilt David had to be living with and battling day in and day out

While your story may not include adultery and murder and children who murder each other and cause civil war; you have many things you may be feeling guilty over

i urge you to be like David repent and receive forgiveness

David was confronted by Nathan and David was broken and repented

Maybe God is confronting you through this message today......be broken and repent!

Psalm 51 was written by David in the aftermath of that conviction and repentance

Psalm 51:1-3, 7-12

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Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: According unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. 2  Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin. 3  For I acknowledge my transgressions: And my sin is ever before me.

7  Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 8  Make me to hear joy and gladness; That the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. 9  Hide thy face from my sins, And blot out all mine iniquities. 10  Create in me a clean heart, O God; And renew a right spirit within me. 11  Cast me not away from thy presence; And take not thy holy spirit from me. 12  Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; And uphold me with thy free spirit.

what a beautiful look at true repentance and forgiveness

are you tired of dealing with the past

are you tired of living in the past

are you tired of running from the past

the good news is that forgiveness from the past is possible

God hates sin but loves you

satan loves sin but hates you

We will dive into Psalms 51 in much greater detail next week when we start our Turn: The Heart of Repentance sermon series dealing with repentance

I John 1:9-10

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9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

God forgives completely whenever you ask Him

satan will continue to bring up your forgiven past to keep you trapped by guilt and shame

guilt before repentance and confession is called conviction

it is sent by God to draw you neat to God

guilt after repentance and confession is called condemnation

it is sent by satan to draw you away from God

as a child of God you have power over condemnation in Jesus

Romans 8:1

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There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

if you are saved this morning there is No condemnation to you in Christ Jesus

if you are saved condemnation has no power over you so STOP GIVING IT POWER

I want to look at a couple practical aspects of forgiveness and over coming guilt

1. How to receive forgiveness from others

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You need to determine if you actually need to ask forgiveness

if you truly....actually wronged someone you need to ask for forgiveness

Thoughts are a little difficult to discern if you need to ask for forgiveness from another person

If you thought it but didn't act upon it or say it then it may be between you and God only and may do more harm to ask forgiveness from a person in that situation

You need to be seeking and following the Holy Spirit in terms of thoughts and asking others for forgiveness

When you truly harmed someone you have a biblical obligation

James 5:16

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16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much

Confess your faults

if you have sinned against a person you must confess to God and them

if your sin has hurt the witness of the church....you must confess to the congregation

your confession is to be to anyone directly affected by your sin

We will also dive into this much deeper next week as well

2. How do you ask for forgiveness

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Sincerely

most believe asking for forgiveness is offering an apology

apologies are one sided

apologies do admit guilt and express remorse but don't ask for anything

Forgiveness is much more than an apology

by asking someone to forgive you

you are asking them to do something

you are asking them to release you from your debt to them

It is impossible to ask for forgiveness and blame others at the same time

that is not forgiveness that is just you seeking appeasement

that is you trying to silence your guilt

No when you ask for forgiveness you must be laser focused on your offense

how

be specific about what it is you have done to them

acknowledge you know what you did hurt them

then ask for forgiveness

for example

Baby I know that when I got upset and said that your idea was a dumb idea that I not only hurt your feelings but I made you feel unimportant and unloved. I know that hurt you and made you feel less than the daughter of the King that you truly are. I am sorry can you please forgive me

Once that has happened you have truly sought forgiveness

now just because you are truly seeking forgiveness you have to realize and accept the fact that not all reconciliation attempts have a happy ending

the other person my react very hesitantly

the other person may react negatively

the thing about seeking forgiveness is this

you cant control their reaction

you cant let a negative reaction discourage you

you cannot demand forgiveness

3. How to forgive others

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years ago a man was rushed to the hospital after contracting rabies from a dog bite

a cure had not yet been discovered and he was going to die

he asked the doctor for a pen and paper and the doctor said I am glad to see you are working on your will

the man replied this isn't a will

this is a list of all the people I am going to bite before I die

many of you have a list

it isn't written on paper

but it is written on your heart

that list has names of people who have

wronged you

cheated you

embarrassed you

disappointed you

betrayed you

deserted you

hurt you

that list is a desire for vengeance

if you hold on to that vengeance it becomes bitterness

bitterness will always come out...

sometimes as violent behavior

but most of the time bitterness isn't explosive but it lingers

it is a cancer that is slowly destroying everything it touches

Hebrews 12:14-15

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14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: 15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled

Forgiveness is the antidote to needless suffering of vengeance and bitterness

In week two of this series we talked about 3 steps you must take in granting forgiveness to others

Acknowledge a wrong has occured

2. recognize that there is an obligation for repayment

3. choose to release offender from that obligation and cover the cost yourself

How can you know that you have truly forgiven your offender from your heart

I want to finish by giving you a 3 point check list from the story of Joseph

1. True forgiveness resists unnecessary embarrassment

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Genesis 45:1

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Then Joseph could not refrain himself before all them that stood by him; and he cried, Cause every man to go out from me. And there stood no man with him, while Joseph made himself known unto his brethren

Joseph was the youngest of 12 sons.

Joseph was loved by his Father more than any of the other sons

Joseph knew it and rubbed that in the brothers face

the brothers had enough and planned to kill Joseph but instead sold him into slavery

Joseph ends up in Egypt and God, through many adversities and troubles, moves Joseph to second in command in Egypt

It has been many years since Joseph has seen his brothers but due to a famine and God’s provision there his brothers stood in front of him

that is where we are in this scripture

Joseph cleared the room to protect his brothers

he dealt with their sin privately to shield them from harm and embarrassment since they would be living in Egypt for quite some time

Mature Christians don't need to run to others or the Pastor with every little hurt......they deal with them privately

now obviously there are times you need to go to others including your pastor but if you can handle it privately handle it privately

What would CCC look like

What would your home look like

What would your workplace look like

What would your neighborhood look like

What would Nevada look like if Christians acted like Christians and handled hurts privately....you are called to deal with things in a Biblical manner it is time to start standing on the Word of God

2. True forgiveness relieves people of unhealthy sorrow

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II Corinthians 7:10

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10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.

Godly sorrow leads to changed behavior

worldly....unhealthy sorrow leads to self-pity and despair

Genesis 45:5

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5 Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life

Joseph could have had them killed

Joseph could have publicly humiliated them

He didn’t what he did do was try to relieve them of their sorrow

He loved them and had forgiven them so he wanted relationship with them

3. True forgiveness continually releases your offender from their obligation to you

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After Jacob .....their father ...died the brothers feared now that dad was gone Joseph would come after them

Genesis 50:19-21

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19 And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? 20 But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. 21 Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.

Joseph was his fathers favorite son......not that dad was gone it was only natural for the brothers to think

Joseph was only being nice to us for dads sake

now that dad is dead we are sure he will finish us

Joseph wasn't acting......Joseph had forgiven

Joseph loved his brothers and wanted a real relationship with his brothers

Joseph understood that

Forgiveness isn't a one time deal

it is a continual choice of your will

forgiveness is surrendering the right to hurt you for hurting me

Joseph spent real time in a real physical prison but he refused to be in an emotional prison

he chose to forgive

settle in you heart forever that forgiveness is a lifestyle

invitation but the cross