When Wrestling Turns Into Resting

Introduction

There are a number of interactions and events that I have had in my life that stand out that have been formative and shaping.

If I have been your pastor for any length of time or if we have been friends for a while, you’ve probably heard and know some of these stories.

Sending a youth home on a mission trip with out an adult chaperone

Putting diesel in a gasoline engine of a brand new $75K cargo van and driving 25mi before realizing it

Firing a staff person in the worst possible way that didn’t honor the Lord nor the person

Family health crisis

Confronting and counseling a mentor, leader, and employer to step down

Pastoring/leading through a global pandemic, cultural upheaval, financial downfall, and overall uncertainty and confusion

In each of these situations, I have been deeply formed. I’ve learned what not to do and have been given wisdom on how best to approach similar or like situations. I hope they have all made me a better human, pastor, friend, dad, husband, and son.

These formative experiences—from mission trip mishaps to pandemic leadership—have shaped me profoundly, teaching me what not to do and offering wisdom for similar situations. But I'm not alone in this journey of wrestling and learning. Throughout Scripture, we see this pattern of struggle leading to transformation. Perhaps no biblical figure embodies this process more vividly than Jacob—a man whose very name means "deceiver," whose life was marked by manipulation and striving, and who had a pivotal encounter that would forever change him. Let's turn to Genesis 32:22-32, where we find Jacob alone at night, about to face a mysterious wrestling match that would leave him with both a blessing and a permanent reminder of his encounter with God.

If you have your Bibles or on your devices, please turn to Genesis 32:22-32. If you are willing and/or able, would you stand with me as I read God’s word this morning.

This is the word of the Lord… pray… please be seated.

Wrestling

Jacob is seeking to enter back into the land that belongs to his family and that was promised to him by God.

There is some powerful garden of Eden imagery here. The man and woman were exiled to the East of the Garden. The tabernacle was such that the high priest once a year would move from the holy place into the holy of holies moving East to West. Here we see Jacob coming from the East going West. In his journey he’s met by an angel.

Jacob leaving the land to go to his mother’s people in Haran encounters a vision of angels ascending and descending on stairs… and as he seeks to come back into the land we find him wrestling with an angel.

Our text says that Jacob thought he saw the face of God, but we should be clear that the one Jacob wrestled was not the pre-incarnate Son, Jesus. Hosea 12:5 identifies Jacob’s rival as an angel, but surely this is a reference to the angel of the Lord who in Genesis is often identified or associated with God himself, not specifically Jesus.

Hosea 12:3–4a “In the womb he grasped his brother’s heel; as a man he struggled with God. He struggled with the angel and overcame him; he wept and begged for his favor.”

This moment in our text is representative of so much of his life up to this point.

Who has he not wrestled, manipulated, deceived, or been betrayed by? Contriving, striving, manipulating, and deceiving, Jacob has gone about trying to make his way.

Even in this moment in our text he is preparing to encounter his brother Esau for the first time since manipulating and deceiving his father into giving him Esau’s blessing. Esau wanted to kill him. As far as Jacob knew, that was still the case.

He’s presenting him with numerous goats, sheep, camels, cows, and donkeys totalling in 540 animals and their young.

He staged them out so it was like the gift that keeps on giving. It wasn’t like one Christmas, but two or even three Christmas’

It was to appease the potential anger and grudge his brother might have.

He’s still trying to manipulate and control the situation. As a deceiver he has to be quicker than everyone else, plotting and planning many steps ahead with all sorts of contingency plans.

Maybe you don’t control by deceiving, maybe you control by forcing, negotiating, bargaining, or piting people against each other so you’re in the position to win.

From exploiting Esau with the stew, deceiving Jacob, to impressing Rachel, positioning himself against Laban, and now posturing meeting Esau… he’s trying to control.

Sometimes we can just act a certain way our whole life and that’s the lens we see things through and how we interact.

Neuroscientists and psychologists call it attachment theory. Attachment theory is a psychological theory that describes how early bonds with caregivers affect a person's future relationships. What we learn to do and how we interact with others when we are young is impressed on us and that can become the default way that we interact with others.

(Maybe)

Secure: Individuals with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with intimacy, trust others easily, and can effectively navigate relationships.

Anxious (Preoccupied): People with an anxious attachment style often worry about abandonment, crave excessive closeness, and may become clingy in relationships.

Avoidant (Dismissive):This style is characterized by a tendency to avoid emotional intimacy, prioritize independence, and may appear emotionally distant.

Disorganized (Fearful-Avoidant):Individuals with a disorganized attachment style may exhibit inconsistent behaviors, struggle with intense emotions, and have difficulty regulating their responses in relationships.

This fits what we have been told in scripture about Jacob… he came out of the womb grasping his brother’s heel.

We’ve seen it up to this point in his life as we’ve followed his journey.

You might even now be self reflecting, oh… that’s me. I have a pattern and way of looking at things, a pattern of entering relationships and solving problems that rarely ends well. You recognize there is a pattern that’s there. I know how frustrating that can be. There is hope… more on that in a moment.

Jacob gets his family across the river and while evening time, he’s alone. A “man” appears and they begin to wrestle.

The wrestling match goes all night long.

A fascinating thing takes place…

Jacob is not letting go so the man touches his hip and pops it out of socket. Jacob still hangs on.

The man has to leave because the Sun is about to come up (Why? Who knows)

Jacob wants a blessing (he’s literally wrestling for a blessing)

There is an inquiry as to his name, he responds, “Jacob”… then the man says, “it’s now Israel… you’ve struggled with God and humans and have overcome.”

Jacob asks his name… he doesn’t tell him but responds with a question… then the man blesses him.

Jacob calls the place, “Penuel” meaning the face (paneh) of God (el)

Interestingly enough Jacob now walks with a limp and is thought for the rest of his days.

I want to suggest that we don't need to wrestle with God to get good things from God.

He wants to give us good things. WE DON’T HAVE TO WRESTLE HIM FOR GOOD THINGS (repeat).

Often times our disordered passions and desires put us in opposition to God.

God loves us, we can take God at his word, and He is worthy of our trust even in the difficult times, and that as we follow Jesus' example we'll experience the true and good life that he has for us.

Disarmed by His Word

Hear me… I know that we wrestle with God. We don’t always get what we want. We don’t always make the wisest of choices. We feel like we have to control, contrive, and sadly even manipulate circumstances for them to turn out the way we think.

In his memoir, Report to Greco, Nikos Kazantzakis shares this story: As a young man, he spent a summer in a monastery during which he had a series of conversations with an old monk. One day he asked the old monk: “Father, do you still do battle with the devil?” The old monk replied: “No, I used to, when I was younger, but now I have grown old and tired and the devil has grown old and tired with me. I leave him alone and he leaves me alone.” “So your life is easy then?” remarked Kazantzakis. “Oh no,” replied the monk, “it’s much worse, now I wrestle with God!” “You wrestle with God,” said the surprised young Kazantzakis, “and hope to win?”

“No,” replied the old monk, “I wrestle with God and I hope to lose!”

God is so good and gracious, that I’m convinced if we knew everything that God did, we would choose the exact same thing that He would have chosen for us.

But because of sin, our disordered passions and desires, put us in opposition to God. Then we start to wrestle. Then sometimes it can be come habit that we think we have to wrestle Him for a blessing.

He wants to bless His image bearers. I could bombard us with scripture but will highlight only a few verses…

Matthew 7:11 “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

Ephesians 3:17–19 “… And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

The word of God allows us to put our defenses down when it comes to our relationship with Him. We don’t need to fight or cajole.

Jacob had God’s word toward him… that God Himself spoke:

Genesis 28:13–15 “There above it stood the Lord, and he said: “I am the Lord, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying. Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.””

Not only did he have the blessing that his father Isaac gave him, but God spoke and confirmed His will on Jacob’s life.

Oh that we would find rest from trying to wrestle, manipulate, and force our will in our lives.

I would argue that Jacob having his named turned to Israel is not this badge of honor… for if you have read ahead, we know that Israel continues to wrestle with nations around it and God. It doesn’t end well. This isn’t a blessing in is a much as it is a declaration of the way of life that he, Jacob, and they, the nation of Israel, will have.

Jacob’s life will still be fraught with his wives fighting, his children fighting, and at one point thinking he will never see the two sons he had with Rachel (Joseph & Benjamin)

When Wrestling Turns to Resting

When I read this portion of scripture here in Genesis, I see an invitation to go from wrestling with God to resting in God.

This doesn’t mean we won’t have opinions or feelings towards any particular circumstance. But our primary focus and desire is the will of God… not the will of Peter.

Jesus has gone before us to show us what this looks like. Jesus faced the cross with genuine human struggle. As both fully divine and fully human, he naturally recoiled from pain and death rather than welcoming them. In Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46), we witness his profound wrestling with God’s plan. “Going a little further, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me’” (v. 39).

Importantly, Jesus didn’t abandon his mission or walk away from the Father’s assignment, but he did honestly request release from it. When no alternative path emerged, he surrendered to God’s direction: “Yet not as I will, but as you will” (v. 39).

Jesus exemplifies not self-sufficiency but complete dependence on God—the ultimate model of God-reliance rather than self-reliance.

Striving does not give us entrance into the promise land. The gates of the Kingdom open to those who rest in Christ's perfect work—not for those who exhaust themselves trying to prove their worth.

The struggle, as we see in Jacob’s life, will leave him with a limp.

The “limp” is a paradox.

I would say don’t follow anyone that doesn’t have a “limp”: Seek wisdom from those who've been broken and rebuilt. Their “limps” are evidence of battles fought, lessons learned, and humility gained—making them better guides for your journey.

Yet there's a profound difference between the wounds of rebellion and the scars of obedience. Jesus Himself, perfectly submitted to the Father's will, bore wounds that He carries even in His glorified body. His scars weren't the result of wrestling against God's plan but of embracing it fully. Obedience doesn't guarantee a pain-free path—often quite the opposite. When we surrender to God's leading, we may still walk with scars, but they become sacred wounds that bring life rather than the self-inflicted injuries of resistance. The difference is purpose and fruit: our stubborn wrestling often leaves us crippled by regret, while surrender—even when painful—produces the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Jesus could have avoided the cross and its scars, but chose submission that led through suffering to glory, showing us that God-ordained pain transforms rather than merely damages.

Ultimately the story of Jacob does not exalt the struggle, if it does, you’re reading it wrong. But it highlights the goodness of God as he blesses a conniving, undeserving man. This is good news for us!

John 16:33 ““I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.””

Jesus showed us the way and it’s leading out of our weakness and humility:

The apostle Paul embodied this. Writing to the church in Corinth he relayed to them the message of the Lord to him while frustrated with a physical ailment he had, he wrote,

2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

In our journey of faith, we find ourselves moving from wrestling to resting, from striving to surrendering. The limps we acquire along the way aren't marks of failure but badges of transformation, reminding us and others that we've encountered God and been forever changed. As we learn to release our grip on control and rest in Christ's finished work, we discover the paradoxical truth at the heart of the gospel: our weakness becomes the stage for God's strength, our surrender becomes the doorway to freedom, and our brokenness becomes the channel for His grace. This is the beautiful mystery of faith—not that we overcome through our own power, but that in acknowledging our limitations, we find ourselves enveloped in limitless love, carried by unfailing mercy, and transformed by the One who has already overcome the world.

Conclusion

As we close today, I invite you to consider where you stand in this journey from wrestling to resting. Perhaps, like Jacob, you've spent years striving, manipulating circumstances, and exhausting yourself trying to control outcomes. There is another way. Jesus stands ready to receive your surrender—not to diminish you, but to transform you. Your limp, your struggles, your failures don't disqualify you; they prepare you for His grace. Today, you can choose to stop wrestling and start resting in Christ's finished work. Will you give Him your heart, your allegiance, your life? Will you trust that the God who blessed an undeserving deceiver like Jacob will surely bless you? In surrendering to Jesus, you won't lose yourself—you'll find who you were always meant to be. Let your wrestling become worship, your striving become surrender, and your exhaustion become His peace. The invitation stands: come to Jesus, not perfect but broken, not strong but weak, and discover that in losing the fight, you gain everything that truly matters.

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