How to Fight and Overcome Temptation

INTRODUCTION

Welcome/Intro. I think I know that answer to this question, but I’m going to ask it anyways: Have you ever done something really dumb, and you didn’t know why? Like your parents asked you , “what were you thinking?!” And you have no answer because thinking is the one thing you weren’t doing?

[SP Note: Tell a story here where you were tempted to do something, or where you did something without thinking, that was dumb and had negative consequences. The goal here is levity and should transition into and match the Romans Scripture: I don’t understand myself, I do things I don’t want to do, and do things I don’t want to do.]

Example Story. When I was in high school me and my friends were on a trip, and we stumbled across a junkyard of abandoned cars. I mean these things were dilapidated, some of them were like sinking into the ground, obviously nobody’s driving these things.

We left the junkyard, and a few of the kids made plans to go back and basically just have a blast out there. I mean who hasn’t dreamt of just laying into a car before?! They asked me if I wanted to come, and while a little voice in my head was telling me “those are somebody else’s cars” a louder voice was saying, “but smashing things is fun, and those cars are trash anyways!” And WE HAD A BLAST. I can’t think of many moments in my life that were as fun. I put a tree through a car windshield, I busted a headlight with a branch. I took out a lot of energy and anger on those cars haha. It was awesome… until I got a call from the owners… who wanted $1400 from each of us to pay for the damaged cars they were selling parts from… I still remember the conversation with my parents. “What were you thinking?!” And all I could say was, “I wasn’t! My brain wasn’t involved in that one!”

TENSION

Whether it’s because we’re not thinking, or we’re just caught up in a moment or even more likely a crowd, a lot of times we end up doing things that we wish we didn’t. That’s why passages in the Bible like Romans 7:15-19 make me feel better sometimes: 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate… I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. (Romans 7:15-19 NLT) This is why temptation is so tricky. Every time we do something we know is wrong, there’s a part of us that actually wanted to do the wrong thing, and a part that wanted to do the right thing.

Maybe you’re the class clown. You just slip into the role you without meaning to and end damaging your reputation with your teachers.

Maybe you exaggerate or lie, feeling you’re not enough without embellishing stories, wishing you could stop but it just keeps happening.

Maybe you gossip around certain groups, and you feel guilty but you’re unsure how to change.

Maybe you’ve seen things online or on TV you regret but struggle to avoid revisiting those sites, accounts, or channels.

Great decisions. Fighting sin and temptation would be EASY if there wasn’t a part of us that really wanted it. But sin doesn’t just affect what I do, it affects what I want. So tonight we’re going to look at Scripture to help us answer: How do I fight temptation and make great decisions?

TRUTH

Bottom Line. Now normally I like to wait a little bit, but I’m going to answer that question right away tonight. Here is one of the most helpful lessons I’ve ever learned from the Bible about fighting temptation. If you’re taking notes, write this down: Fighting temptation is picking what you want most over what you want now. Fighting temptation is picking what you want most over what you want now.

Scripture. Listen to what James 1:14-15 says about temptation: 14 Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. 15 These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. In other words: temptation happens when I want things that point me away from God. One of the hardest things to come to terms with is the fact that fighting temptation means fighting your own desires.

Process. Here’s how this picture works according to James:

Trigger Desire Sinful Decision Death

Temptation happens when we want something that we shouldn’t, something that points us away from God, and leads to destructive consequences. So that might be a helpful thought for some of you: Temptation is what I want, sin is what I do.

Wanting to do something wrong is not a sin. It’s a part of being a person with a sinful nature. We want things that lead us away from God, and ALL OF US want those things. Most of the time we’re trapped in temptation because we’re afraid to even admit that we WANT things that we know are wrong.

We want attention, so we misbehave because we know it will get a laugh, even if it hurts our reputation and our relationships.

We want to be liked and to impress people, so we exaggerate the good and leave out our mistakes when we tell stories, even though we feel guilty and know we’ve misrepresented ourselves.

We want to fit in, so we say mean things about people, even though we wouldn’t want others talking about us like that.

We want to feel good or escape problems, so we turn on the screen and scroll, or play games for hours, or watch videos, or even porn, even though we always feel worse afterwards.

How? Temptation misleads us to want what’s wrong, even when we know it’s wrong. So, if that’s how it works, how do you stop? Can I actually change what I want, or am I powerless to never get what I want when I’m fighting temptation?

I remember one time I was struggling with a specific sin, and when I told a leader in my life his advice was, “Just stop doing that!” Haha, that’s not helpful! I would like to be helpful 😊. So back to the question we asked earlier: How do we fight temptation?

Scripture. Check out what it says in James 1:16-18:

16 So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. 18 He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.

Desire vs. Desire. Here's what I think is really cool about what James says here: he doesn’t help us fight temptation by pointing out the badness of sin, but by pointing out the goodness of God. He goes after what we want, not what we do. So, How do we fight temptation? If you’re taking notes write this down. How to Fight Temptation: Fight Desire with Desire. You’ve heard the phrase “fight fire with fire” before haha. We overcome temptation by fighting desire with desire.

[SP Note: The goal of this story is appropriate vulnerability where you’ve seen God overcome temptation in your life be helping you see and choose what you want most over what you want in a moment. Try to pick something that’s not so safe that it leads kids to believe you don’t struggle with meaningful human temptations.]

Story. Recently there was a TV show that I really wanted to watch that all my friends were watching. Have you ever been the only one in your friend group that hasn’t watched a show? It’s the worst! You don’t understand the jokes, and you feel a little left out. I really wanted to watch the show, the story looked amazing, but I knew there were sex scenes and things that would have led me to temptation and sin.

My wife left to be with her family in Texas for a weekend, and all of a sudden I was SUPER tempted to watch this show. I started trying to talk myself into it. Just watch for the story, you’ll fast forward through the bad parts. What’s the big deal? Your friends love Jesus and they’ve seen it, how bad could it be? [Production Note: Keep this slide up for the rest of the story] Trigger Desire Sinful Decision Death

The show triggered a desire in me, and all of a sudden, I had a decision to make: do what I want now, or do what I want most. I REALLY wanted to watch the show. There was a strong part of me that wanted to watch it, and not just for the story. Sin in me was telling me that I wanted to see some things that would make me feel good, but would dishonor my wife.

In that moment I didn’t fight temptation by trying hard to not want something that I definitely wanted. That just compounds guilt in our hearts and is only effective at making sure we hide our sins and our sinfulness. In that moment I fought it by remembering what I desire most over what I desired now.

What I wanted now was the fleeting rush and happiness of sin. What I want most are the lasting fulfillment and joys from God.

What I wanted now was to do whatever I wanted to do no matter the cost. What I want most is a marriage where I have nothing to be ashamed about and no secrets to keep from my wife.

What I wanted now would have led to death, brokenness between me and God, and me and Cassidy. What I want most is for those relationships to be full of life.

Overcome. The only reason I overcame temptation in that moment isn’t because I’m a super good person who doesn’t want to do bad things. I want to do things that I know are wrong all the time. I fought desire with desire. Every time I fail, it’s because I don’t have a clear focus on the things I want most over what I want now. We don’t overcome temptation by trying to stop wanting something we want, we overcome temptation by driving it out with something that we want more! How do we fight temptation?

How to Fight Temptation: Fight Desire [want] with Desire [want]. We remember from Scripture that every perfect gift is from God, and we practice keeping a clear picture in our head of the life we desire MOST, so that we’re not overcome by the sinful desires that we want NOW. Fighting temptation is picking what you want most over what you want now.

BIBLICAL DECISIONS

Decisions. If you want to make great decisions every day that lead to a great year, it’s important to realize where you’re trading away the things you want most. Here is one thing you can do this week to fight temptation.

Goals. Write out spiritual goals and share them with a friend or leader. Before you fight desire with desire by picking what you want most over what you want now, you have to identify what you want most. Set some spiritual goals in the area you’re tempted.

Maybe you’re tempted to misbehave and act out in class, on the field, or even in church. A good goal to set might be: I want to earn a good reputation, not just a quick laugh.

Maybe you’re tempted to exaggerate stories or lie. A good goal might be: I want people to know the real me so I don’t have to be afraid of being found out.

Maybe you’re tempted to talk bad about people. A good goal might be: I want to talk about others the way I hope people talk about me.

Maybe you’re tempted to watch shows or look at things online that you shouldn’t. A good goal might be: I want to be married to one person fully one day, so I’m going to save my eyes and heart for them.

Close. Whatever it looks like for you, wherever you’re tempted, it’s important to put what you want most clearly in front of yourself, and it’s really important to ask for help from friends and leaders. What’s really cool, is that this is a place where every single one of us struggles with this stuff. This isn’t somewhere you have to hide; this is a place you can bring the real you to the circle. You want to really fight temptation and overcome sin in your life? You can’t do it alone. We’re going to head to small groups, and the question I want you to walk out with is this: Where am I trading what I want most for what I want now?

Pray. Let me pray for us, and then we’ll dismiss.