Surrender

INTRO.

I’m just going to say it, I like being in control. Any other control freaks in the room? Maybe yo’re always the person who has people over to your house rather than going to theirs. Or maybe you like being the person who picks what table your crew sits at for lunch. Or maybe you insist on holding the remote so that no one changes the channel.

I like being in control. It feels GOOD. It makes us feel safe. It makes us feel important. It makes us feel like we can make sure everything goes exactly the way we want.

But what if I told you that trying to control everything doesn’t actually make life stronger—it makes it shakier?

That’s what we’re talking about today. This month, we’re learning about what it means to build an Unshakeable life. Jesus told a story in Matthew 7 about two builders. One built his house on rock, and the other built his house on sand. When a storm came, only one house stood strong—the one built on the rock.

What’s cool is that we’re not the only people talking about this. Our whole church is talking about this. And here’s why - we want everyone at our church to answer this question: am I building my life on things that are unshakeable, or am I relying on things that won’t last?

Here's why we want to help everyone at our church answer that question. It’s because we believe that in a world where things seem very shaky, God has given us everything we need to build an unshakeable life.

Over the next 3 weeks, we’re going to look at 3 principles of an unshakeable life AND we’re going to look the 3 “evil twins” of those principles that lead to a shaky life. Today, we’re looking the unshakeable principle of surrender and it’s evil twin, control.

TENSION.

If I were to ask you how to catch a monkey, how would you do it?

[Pause and let the room have some fun for a minute]

Do you know how monkeys are actually caught? Hunters use something called “the Monkey Trap.” Here’s how it works: hunters will put something valuable to the monkey (often food) in a small jar. The opening of the jar is just big enough for the monkey to slip its hand in, but not big enough for the monkey to pull its hand out while it’s gripping its prize.

So once the monkey gets its hand on that thing that’s valuable, it has to decide what to surrender: the thing in its hand or its freedom.

Can you guess what the monkey does? Most of the time, the monkey refuses to give up control of the thing in its hand and surrenders its freedom.

The struggle between surrender and control isn’t just something monkeys struggle with, it’s something we struggle with. I know for me, I don’t like talking about surrender because it makes me feel weak and out of control. I like feeling like I’m on control of my life – don’t you? I HATE when I have to surrender control. It’s why I hate flying in airplanes and I want to be the person who drives when we’re in the car. I want to be in control!

But what the monkey trap teaches is that holding onto control leads to a very shaky life. In surrender, even though we have to give up something that seems valuable, what we often gain on the other side is better. Just like freedom is better than a banana.

The principle of surrender is actually something that God has woven all throughout the story of the Bible, and I want to take a look at an early story in the book of Genesis – the story of Cain and Abel.

TRUTH.

Turn in your Bible to Genesis 4, and we’ll read the beginning of their story in verses 1-5:

Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. b She said, “With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” 2 Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.

Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. 3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. 4 And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

So Cain and Abel are brothers with some pretty famous parents: Adam and Eve. Cain was a farmer, Abel was a shepherd. And the Bible just jumps straight into a story about the brothers bringing God an offering.

That might feel abrupt. But my experience with Scripture has been that it is VERY intentional. If it leaves something unsaid, it meant to. If it takes a hard turn, it meant to.

Here’s something I notice about their story: they both dealt with God. We spent some time talking about this last week, but I think it’s worthwhile to repeat it: an unshakeable life is a life that deals with God. Dealing with God doesn’t guarantee an unshakeable life, but dealing with God is THE foundation that every unshakeable life is built on.

Cain and Abel both dealt with God. But this isn’t a story about whether or not they would deal with God, it’s a story about how they dealt with God.

Do you notice any differences between how Cain dealt with God and how Abel did?

Cain brought God an offering of crops - he was a farmer, so he brought what he had.

Abel brought God an offering of animals – he was a shepherd, so he brought what he had.

But God seems to respond more favorably to Abel’s offering than He did to Cain’s…why?

Look back at verse 3:

3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. 4 And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

Cain brought some of his crops, but Abel brought his first and best from his flock.

Why’s that matter? Because what they brought to God said a lot about what they believed about God. You know what Cain’s offering of his leftovers said about what he believed about God? It said that God was part of Cain’s life, but Cain was in control of his life. God could have some of what Cain grew after Cain got was he was due.

You know what Abel’s offering of his first and best said about what he believed about God? It said that God was first in Abel’s life and that He was the best of Abel’s life. God got what He was due – the first and best of what Abel had – and Abel took the leftovers.

So why did God look more favorably on Abel’s offering than Cain’s? It wasn’t because God liked Abel’s food better, He liked Abel’s heart better. God isn’t on the carnivore diet. He doesn’t prefer steak to vegetables (even though I do). God didn’t have a problem with Cain’s offering, He had a problem with Cain’s heart.

Even if you are a Christian and have laid the foundation that your life is going to deal with God, there is a way of dealing with God that still leads to a shaky life and there is a way of dealing with God that leads to an unshakeable life.

Cain represents the way of dealing with God that leads to a shaky life. This is the way of control. The way of control wants to surrender eternity to God in order to go to heaven but wants to be in control of my life until I get there. I’m telling you, even if you are a follower of Jesus, this is the default setting of our sinful, human nature and it leads to a very shaky life.

Abel represents the way of dealing with God that leads to an unshakeable life. This is the way of surrender. The way of surrender surrenders eternity to God AND surrenders control of life right now to God.

Here’s what I want you to see: Trying to control everything will make life shakier, but surrendering control to God will make life stronger.

We are all prone to the way of control, but we can be transformed into the way of surrender.

How do we do that?

Think back to the monkey trap for a minute. The monkey often chooses to hold onto that which it feels is most precious because it doesn’t see that there could be something else that is better.

I think often, we choose the way of control because we don’t see that God could have something else for us that is better.

But the truth is: we don’t get to decide whether or not we surrender, we only get to decide WHAT we surrender.

Look back at the story.

Cain decided not to surrender by bringing God his leftovers, but by doing so ended up surrendering the favor of God.

Abel chose to surrender by bringing God his first and best, but in return, he received God’s favor.

Now that feels like a weird trade if you don’t know what God’s favor is. But if you know what God’s favor is, you realize how bad a trade Cain made.

Do you know what that word, favor, means?

Here’s a couple of meanings:

Grace

Acceptance

Beauty

Peace

Welfare

Success

Favorite

Whatever Abel surrendered paled in comparison to what he received with God’s favor.

Cain kept his hand in the jar, holding on to something that was inferior to what God would’ve given him had he surrendered what was in his hand. Instead, he followed the way of control which led to him murdering Abel and being banished from his home.

APPLICATION.

So my question is: who sounds more like you? Cain or Abel?

Unfortunately, whether we’re like this all the time or just at this time in a particular area, we’re often more like Cain – choosing to bring God our leftovers and fighting to stay in control of our lives.

The good news is, God’s mercies are new every morning. We always have an opportunity to change course, all we have to do is confess and repent.

In fact, God gave Cain an opportunity to do the same thing in v. 6:

6 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

So how do we move from the way of control to the way of surrender?

Confess and repent.

1 John 1:9 says,

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Confess and own up to God that you’ve been walking the way of control. When we do that, not only does God forgive us, but He actually cleans our hearts.

But confession isn’t enough. We also need to repent.

Repentance is what God is getting at when He said to Cain “if you DO what is right, will you not be accepted?” Repentance changes our course and practically move from walking in the way of control like Cain to walking in the way of surrender like Abel.

So what does the way of control look like versus the way of surrender?

In dating:

The way of control says, “I need to make this happen for myself. I will do whatever it takes to get love and acceptance.”

The way of surrender says, “I am loved and accepted by God, and I trust that He has good things for me, even if I have to wait longer than I am comfortable with.”

In money:

The way of control says, “I will give to God if I have anything left.”

The way of surrender says, “God gets my first and best because I trust that He will provide for the rest.”

In pain:

The way of control says, “I will get back at them and make sure that I see justice for what was done to me.

The way of surrender says, “I will give God my pain, forgive the people who hurt me, and trust that God will bring justice in His way in His time.”

In faith:

The way of control says, “I will follow God if it’s convenient.”

The way of surrender says, “I will follow God, even if it costs me something.”

With authority:

The way of control says, “I will honor my parents and people in authority in my life if they deserve it or if I feel like it.”

The way of surrender says, “I will honor my parents and people in authority in my life because, when I honor them, I honor God, and He is always honorable.”

CLOSE.

Where do you need to confess to following the way of control, like Cain?

And what would repentance look like for you, to turn away from the way of control and to start walking in the way of surrender?

You don’t control you way to an unshakeable life, you surrender your way there.