The Hardest Thing to Do: Part 2

Genesis 45:3-11

The New Revised Standard Version Joseph Reveals Himself to His Brothers

3 Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph. Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, so dismayed were they at his presence.

4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come closer to me.” And they came closer. He said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 And now do not be distressed, or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life. 6 For the famine has been in the land these two years; and there are five more years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. 7 God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. 8 So it was not you who sent me here, but God; he has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt. 9 Hurry and go up to my father and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph, God has made me lord of all Egypt; come down to me, do not delay. 10 You shall settle in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children, as well as your flocks, your herds, and all that you have. 11 I will provide for you there—since there are five more years of famine to come—so that you and your household, and all that you have, will not come to poverty.’

This is God’s word for God’s people

Thanks be to God.

I. Introduction

I ended last week’s sermon by asking a simple question:

Is it more difficult to give forgiveness or ask for forgiveness.

In a small village, there was a revered elder known for his wisdom. One day, a young man disrespected him in front of others and immediately felt regret, realizing how foolish he had been. Summoning courage, he approached the elder, but the closer he got, the more fear gripped him. This young man’s struggle symbolizes our own difficulty in admitting faults and asking for forgiveness, emphasizing the internal conflict many feel between pride and the desire for peace.

I have experienced something similar to this.

During my junior year in college, my dad and I had a disagreement.

During that disagreement, we both said somethings that we later would regret.

Because of this disagreement, he and I didn’t talk to each other for a year.

I remember that year vividly.

At the time of the disagreement, I didn’t value the relationship with my dad.

However, after a year of not even saying “hi” to my dad, I felt as though a part of me was missing.

There were ties during that year when I wanted to pick the phone up to call my dad but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

For an entire year, my dad and I dealt with an internal war.

We both missed and craved the relationship we had but because of stubbornness and pride, we spent an entire year without so much as a call.

So, to answer my own question, for me, it is more difficult for me to ask for forgiveness.

There is something humbling about having to ask another person for forgiveness.

There is something humbling about having to admit wrongdoing.

Yet, in order for our relationships to thrive, we must ask for forgiveness when we know that we have wronged someone.

In last week’s text and our text for today, we see how Joseph’s brothers have violated their relationships with both Joseph and their father.

They are jealous of Jacob’s love for Joseph.

They are jealous of the favor that seems to befall Joseph.

And as a result, they attempt to do what Cain did to Abel.

Luckily, Reuben is the voice of reason and convince his brothers to sale Joseph into slavery. Presumably never to seen again.

After they do the unthinkable to Joseph, they lie to their father and break his heart.

So, we see how they have violated two of the most important relationships in their lives.

Now in looking at this, most of us would say, “poor Joseph.”

In my opinion, Joseph was not innocent in all of this. Now, I am not saying that he got what he deserved, but I am saying that Joseph was an instigator.

Who tells their brothers that they will eventually bow down to him and serve him? By the way, he told them this after he snitched on them to their father.

Joseph knows that his father loves him more than his brothers and he takes advantage of that and flaunts it in their faces.

In speaking of Joseph’s father, Jacob in a sense has created an environment that caused resentment based on his favorable treatment of Joseph.

Could you imagine living within a large family and realizing that your father/mother loves you less than your sibling. That would be a miserable way to live.

We fast forward to our text on today and we see a struggle between brothers after Joseph reveals his identity to his brothers.

We see Joseph struggling to forgive his brothers and then we see Joseph’s brothers struggling to ask for forgiveness.

And that is a reminder to us all that there is a two way struggle when comes to the concept of forgiveness.

So often in our Christian walk, we emphasize the need to forgive others.

When we think about forgiveness, we think about Matthew 6:14-15 where Jesus says,

Matthew 6:14–15 NRSV

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

We tend to look at forgiveness as something that we do but I wonder how our lives would look if we reflected upon the difficulty in asking forgiveness.

I want you to notice something in this text. Joseph’s brothers at no point asked for Joseph’s forgiveness.

We don’t see anywhere in this text where they ask for forgiveness.

Even with Joseph holding all the cards and having all of the leverage, they still can’t bring themselves to ask for forgiveness.

I think that his brothers regretted what they did to Joseph and the reason I believe they regretted what they did some 20 years earlier is because of their unwillingness to do the same to Benjamin.

Like I did with my father, they acted out of anger and made a decision that fractured the relationships with two family members.

They were so remorseful of what they had done that they offered to enter themselves into slavery to save their brother.

They’re actions showed that they were sorry. Their actions showed that they were remorseful but after Joseph revealed his identity to them, they still couldn’t bring themselves to apologize.

I don’t know about you all but for me, sometimes apologizing is difficult.

Saying I’m sorry is difficult but in order mend broken relationships it’s something that must be said.

The thought of having to tell someone, “I’m sorry”, makes us vulnerable and guess what, it is an admission that I have messed up. It is an admission that I am wrong. Admitting those things can be challenging for many.

You see, to me it’s easier to forgive because when someone is asking or showing you that they need forgiveness, it creates a power dynamic. It is at the moment that you are not as vulnerable as the person whose asking for forgiveness.

You essentially are the one with the power in that situation and the moment you have to ask someone for forgiveness, “zap”, that power dissipates and you are suddenly at the mercy of another.

This is what is happening here in this text, Joseph’s brothers are now at the mercy of Joseph. They are at the mercy of someone that they have wronged.

There is something in our brokenness that makes it uncomfortable for us to be at the mercy of another.

We don’t want anyone controlling our destiny. Since the beginning of time, we humans have had difficulty apologizing or admitting guilt.

Think about the fall of humanity and how Adam and Eve disobeyed God. Do you remember seeing anywhere in that text where they asked God for forgiveness? No, they blamed each other and not one time sought forgiveness from God.

They didn’t say to God,

“gee wiz God, you created this marvelous perfect and we messed it up, we’re sorry. We were wrong and we ask your forgiveness.”

No, they foolishly attempted to hide from God, blamed each other, and refused to accept accountability.

Is that not us? In conflict, do we sometimes not have the tendency to blame the other person, avoid them, and not take accountability in the role we played in the matter?

God is calling us to resist our brokenness and to recognize that we made to have relationship with Him and each other. Sometimes we are called to simply admit that we’re wrong.

I believe that this story points us to our own relationship with God.

Joseph in this text does for his brother that which God does for each of us. He forgives them without saying I’m sorry.

God does the same for us but it is healthy and important to confess when we have wronged someone. It is healthy for us to confess to God when we have wronged him. We’ll talk about that a little more at our Ash Wednesday worship service this Wednesday.

Please join me in our prayer of confession found on page 12 in your hymnal as we join together in the sacrament of Holy Communion.