What’s The Real Problem Here?
Biblical Peacemaking • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
0 ratings
· 9 viewsNotes
Transcript
Handout
How The Heart Leads To Words and Actions
13 Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” 14 But he said to him, “Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?” 15 And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”
Case study – A man presents a problem to Jesus
We will look at this case study from the Bible to see how Jesus understands a conflict, and then we will look at some examples and seek to understand the real problems in the examples as well.
Three layers of problems:
1. Layer #1 – Presenting Problem (v. 13)
A financial or legal problem
It is most likely the brothers were given their father’s inheritance and were supposed to dwell in it and keep it together. This brother is demanding that he receive his portion apart from the rest of the family.
2. Layer #2 – Relational Problem (v. 13)
An interpersonal problem. The two brothers were apparently alienated from each other. Instead of dwelling in unity together, their was tension and conflict.
How did Jesus respond to these problems?
Jesus did not take the role of judge or arbiter to solve the presenting problem.
Jesus did not address the man’s relationship with his brother, or try to get them to reconcile their relational problem.
Why not?
He wanted to address the heart. He discerns the real problem.
3. Layer #3 – Heart Problem (vv. 14-15)
A personal problem. The man had a ruling desire that was more weighty to him than being at peace with his brother. That desire was greed.
How did Jesus address the man’s greed?
1) He warns us to watch out (v. 15a)
24 “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.
5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.
1 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,
2) He gives a reason (v. 15b), and then expands on this in verses 16-21.
The reason = life consists more of being at peace with God and others than having wealth.
16 And he told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, 17 and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ 18 And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.” ’ 20 But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ 21 So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”
In our conflicts, the root/heart problem(s) could be any desire that has begun to rule the heart. (James 4:1-2a)
Conclusion: God’s Solution
Conclusion: God’s Solution
Reverse the layers….
1 Presenting 7 Presenting
2 Relational 6 Relational
3 Heart 5 Heart
4 Jesus
Example #1
Johnny and Bill share an apartment while they are both in college. Johnny is a good student. He studies hard and tries to get good rest the night before big tests. Bill is not as interested in his studies. He likes having people over and staying up late. Johnny has become more and more frustrated with Bill lately. When Bill asks Johnny if he wants to go play ball with him, Johnny tells him no and starts telling Bill what a childish kid he is. Bill is obviously angry and offended and conflict ensues.
Presenting problem: Johnny snubbed Bill’s invitation and offended him by calling him a child because Bill has not been considerate of Johnny by having friends over late.
Relational problem: Johnny and Bill were not communicating with each other and were frustrated.
Heart: Johnny’s desire to be able to get sleep was a good one. His desire to be respected by Bill was a good one. Yet they controlled him to the point of frustration and judgment instead of desiring God honoring conversation and unity. Bill’s desire to have fun and be respected seemed more important to him than honoring his roommate.
Johnny can repent and seek forgiveness for the way he handled the conflict. Bill can repent and find forgiveness for his disrespect for Johnny.
Example #2
Jim has always handled the finances in his marriage. It used to be when Sue ever tried to understand or work with Jim on something financial, Jim was short with her and pushed her away. Sue soon learned just not to go there. For years, Jim has just handled all the finances without Sue’s involvement. This set up keeps the peace, except for when a financial decision must be made that involves Sue in some way. It seems that no financial issue can ever be resolved without a huge fight.
Presenting problem: Jim neglects to involve Sue in their finances.
Relational problem: Jim and Sue cannot talk about money without fighting.
Heart: Ultimately, Jim is controlling and does not trust Sue. His desire to control their finances has led to a demand that he be the only one to make any decisions.
Jim should recognize, repent, refocus, and replace.
How To Consider Our Words and Actions
3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
1. By a “plank” Jesus refers to your sinful behavior.
Your planks include both your sinful words and sinful actions, as determined by Scripture.
Your planks include both sins of commission and omission.
Commission = What I said/did that I should not have said/did
Omission = What I did not say/do that I should have said/did
Your planks include your sinful behavior at various points in the conflict – before, during, and after.
2. Jesus presents the proper order: You must start with you!
He uncovers our tendency to ignore our sinful offenses and dwell on how others have wronged us.
Q: Whose sins bother you the most--your sins or the other person’s sins?
3. Jesus assigns a greater weight to your sins than to other person’s sins by calling yours “planks” and his “specks.”
Of course, this is relative--his sins may actually be more severe. But you must look upon your offenses as more serious, viewing yours as major (“planks”) and his as minor(“specks”).
4. At the same time, humbly dealing with your planks first puts you in a better position to minister to the other person and to help him deal with his sin
(verse 5; Gal 6:1-2; etc.)
How so?
Your confession models humility and may encourage him to do the same.
Your confession may lessen or remove his defensiveness.
Your confession may remove the thing that has provoked his sin and his anger.
Your confession clears your mind and allows you to focus on the other person.
Note: Matt 7:1 is not an absolute prohibition against all judging but against sinful, hypocritical judging. Note v. 2, 5, 6, 15-16 in context; also John 7:24; 1 Cor. 5:11-13; etc.
24 Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”
A word of caution:
6 “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.
In context, Jesus has told us to judge with right judgment, humbly dealing with your own planks first and then being prepared to remove the speck from our brother’s eye.
This is a beautiful grace filled process with the goal of reconciliation.
Yet, Jesus makes a warning to us in verse 6.
The truth is: there are some people who are not aiming at reconciliation at all.
They are trapped in their own manipulation or abuse.
They are not fighting fair.
Jesus calls these people dogs and pigs.
He says you should not go to these offering confession and gentle confrontation, because they will only turn and attack you.
In those cases, you should seek safety and the wisdom of other godly brothers and sisters in Christ instead of going to confess and confront the person.
