THE DECISION THAT TRANSFORMS FAMILIES

1. Introduction.

There are many things said about the home, but I came across this quote the other day:

“The home is the anvil upon which attitudes and convictions are hammered out.”

I really like that quote, Dear friend, the home establishes the attitudes of the child. The home establishes the convictions, character, and integrity of a child. The home is where love is modeled for the child. The home is the single most influential force on the face of the earth, and most of what is wrong in the world can be attributed to homes where God’s principles for the home were not followed.

Do not expect your child to be a loving Christian as a teenager when you have not modeled that behavior before him or her in his or her formative years.

On occasion, parents forget how powerful our seemingly small actions can be. I came across this the other day, and it is really powerful.

“When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking.”

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I knew that little things are special things.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I believed there is a God that I could always talk to.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I felt you kiss me goodnight, and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it’s all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I looked … and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw … When you thought I wasn’t looking.

Parents, you have a tremendous influence on the lives of your children, and I believe, parents will be held responsible for what they taught and showed a child in the home. Dear friend, what happens to children in many homes across America is pathetic and just as awful as anything Adolf Hitler or Joseph Stalin ever did. If you are saved, your greatest responsibility to your child is found in God’s Word.

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Unfortunately, too many Christians are not doing that. Too many Christians do not train their children to follow, worship, and love God, and it is has had a devastating effect on our society.

I heard a news report about a new study on the causes of teenage drinking. The researchers discovered that parents are the strongest influence on whether or not their children will use alcohol. Where the home is strong and stable, children are much less likely to drink. We overlook our power to influence our children.

Well, Joshua certainly understood his responsibility toward his family.

As he came to the end of his life, he called the leaders of Israel together for one final message.

Knowing that he is only one step from death, he sounds a call to renewal that begins with a recital of God’s blessings in the past. In Joshua 24: 1-13, Joshua gives a history lesson to people of Israel from the promise made to Abraham up to the very minute Joshua was talking to them.Then he challenges the people to be faithful to God .

Joshua 24: 13-16 13 And I have given you a land for which ye did not labour, and cities which ye built not, and ye dwell in them; of the vineyards and oliveyards which ye planted not do ye eat. 14 Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord.

15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. 16 And the people answered and said, God forbid that we should forsake the Lord

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

In those words, and in the verses leading up to them, I find four decisions we must make if we want our families to serve the Lord with us.

2. Decision # 1: Build a family based on grace.

As Joshua recounts the story of the conquest of the Promised Land, he quotes the Lord who has a strong reminder to the people:

Joshua 24:11–13 “Then you went over the Jordan and came to Jericho. And the men of Jericho fought against you—also the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Girgashites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites. But I delivered them into your hand. I sent the hornet before you which drove them out from before you, also the two kings of the Amorites,

but not with your sword or with your bow. I have given you a land for which you did not labor, and cities which you did not build, and you dwell in them; you eat of the vineyards and olive groves which you did not plant.’”

Joshua wants the people never to forget that they owed everything to God. It’s easy to see how that might happen. After all, the Israelite army had won battle after battle, often routing the enemy from the field. It would be natural to start thinking, “We’re something special.” But that thought is always deadly.

Joshua knew that once the people took credit for their victories they would soon turn away from the Lord altogether.

Do your children see you boasting about your success, or do they see you thanking God for His grace?

We ought to do with our families what Joshua does with the people of Israel. It’s a good thing to review past blessings and to make a written record of God’s faithfulness. We need to say to our children, “Sweetheart, do you remember when you were so sick and we prayed to God and you got better?”

“Do you remember when Dad lost his job and we were afraid so we prayed and God gave him a new job?”

A good memory of God’s grace thwarts backsliding.

Has God blessed you? Then write it down. Think often about it. Tell it to your children, your family, your friends.

Pass it along so that succeeding generations can tell the story after you are gone to heaven.

Psalm 145:4–5 “One generation shall praise Your works to another, And shall declare Your mighty acts. I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty, And on Your wondrous works.”

Another way to build a family based on grace is to practice generous giving. When we give liberally, we teach our children to do the same. They learn that we give because we have received and that God never stops giving to his children.

We build grace-based families by being quick to forgive and slow to take offense.

Love covers a multitude of sins.

3. Decision # 2: Teach your family to worship God.

Joshua 24:14 ““Now therefore, fear the Lord, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord!”

When we think about the fear of the Lord, many people get the idea of cringing in terror. The biblical concept is much broader than that.

Fearing the Lord means having such a deep respect for God that we want to please him in all we do.

One writer says fearing God is the “inner devotion” that causes us to honor God.

Do you share and teach this “inner devotion” to your family?

When parents truly fear God, their children will learn to fear him too. When they love the Lord, it will be natural for the children to learn to love him too. When they sing hymns, their children will learn the words. When they pray, their children will quietly pray with them. Did you know one of the simple things we can do for our children is to sing during the song service? It shows our children the deep respect we have for God.

Fathers bear a heavy responsibility in this area.

Fathers must take the initiative to be the spiritual leaders of the home if you truly want God to bless the home. Fathers need to know that their actions speak louder than their words.

4. Decision # 3: Establish in the home the principle of obedience.

Joshua 24:14–15 ““Now therefore, fear the Lord, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord! And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.””

The word “serve” is used in various forms 7 times in two verses. The burden on Joshua’s heart was for the Israelites to be obedient to God. He wanted the people to willingly choose to serve the Lord.

Every area of life must be surrendered to the Lordship of Christ. We must surrender to Him in sincerity and in truth.

“In sincerity and in truth” means there can be no “hidden rooms” that we reserve for ourselves. In Joshua’s day, he was urging the people to put away the false gods worshipped by the pagans. In the home, our lives must be a living example of obedience to God if we want our children to have that same principle.

Too many Christian parents try to hold onto the gods from beyond the river, and the children see that. Parents want Jesus to be a priority in their children’s lives, but their children do not see that in their parents’ lives.

In sincerity and truth….. Are you willing to make that commitment?

5. Decision # 4: Choose daily to serve the Lord.

But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord is one of the most famous statements in the Old Testament, and rightly so.

Joshua, like Daniel, had purposed in his heart to daily serve the Lord, and dear friend, as parents, you must do the same. You cannot serve the Lord on Sunday and expect that one day to have very much of an impact on your children. You must choose daily to serve the Lord.

We are to serve the Lord and we are to do everything in our power to see that our family follows our example.

You must begin each day by choosing to serve the Lord, and then you must follow up that decision with a hundred small choices in the right direction. That’s really what serving the Lord means.

How was Daniel able to face all that he faced? He purposed daily in his heart to serve the Lord. Joshua did too. The Apostle Paul did. If you want your family to be a God-serving family, you must daily purpose in your heart that you and your family are going to serve the Lord, and sometimes that means as the spiritual leader in the home, you have to make some unpopular decisions.

Dear friend, as you guys know, I coached high school baseball for many years, and I love baseball, but I am telling you that travel baseball and softball if takes your children away from church on Sundays is not God’s will for you, and sometimes, as the spiritual leader of the home, you have to let your child know that he or she can play on Saturdays, but he or she is not playing on Sunday because as a family we have an obligation to the church and to our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Each of us must personally decide to serve the Lord, and what we need is a generation of Joshuas who are willing to make the decision for their families that daily we are serving the Lord, and as parents you have an obligation to your children to set the example.

We can hardly expect our children to serve Christ when we take our obligations lightly. I am struck by Joshua’s boldness:

This is a public choice. “But as for me.” He means, “I don’t care what the rest of you do. I’m going to serve the Lord.”

Even though he was the leader of the nation, he was willing to part with his own people over this fundamental issue.

If you follow Christ, there will come a time when you must say, “Do what you want, and whatever you do I will still be your friend, but I’m going to serve the Lord.”

It is a personal decision. “But as for me.”

In the end, it comes down to this. You must choose to serve the Lord. It won’t happen by accident.

Joshua did not ask his wife or his kids. He spoke as the God-appointed leader of his family, and I do not know any other way to say other than just to say it. It is time for men to be men and assume the role of spiritual leader in the home. America is crying for men to be faithful in that role. Beech Grove is crying for men to be faithful in that role. The God of the Universe is wanting men to be faithful in that role.

Joshua claimed the right to speak for his wife, his children, his grandchildren, his great-grandchildren, and even for his servants because he was the spiritual leader of his house. Every Christian man ought to make a similar statement about the family God has given him.

Joshua made a statement of commitment for his entire family. “We will serve the Lord.”

Have you made that commitment for your family? If you do not and do not train your children spiritually, the world and the school will do it for you, and it will not be many generations down the line until your family totally rejects God. That is how serious this responsibility is for parents. I hope you have purposed in your heart that your family is going to serve the Lord.