Proverbs 31

Text: Proverbs 31

Understanding that this is a letter from Solomon to his Son Rehoboam.  One day his son will be the ruler over the Kingdom that under Solomon expanded to a new height of glory.  

So when I reach this passage I find myself asking a few key questions.  

Question #1

“Why and entire chapter for women?”

Solomon has mentioned in other arenas.

Immoral woman in chapter 7

Mother in chapter 9

Contentious woman

Answer:  Because in Proverbs Man are men and man are women.  

In other words the promises of wisdom are not held out from women in a sexist ideal that only men can have wisdom.  By the way this is an extreme view held by those that appreciate holding women away from the promises of God.  

Much of the time when Scripture refers to ‘man’ he is using the general references to mankind. Meaning that man, woman, boy, or girl that pursues the Spirit of wisdom referred to in chapter 1 will have wisdom.  

In Proverbs 31 he is dealing with a woman in much the same way that Peter does when he makes a specific promise to the power of a godly woman.  

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;  While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.  I Peter 3:1-2

We live in a time where a woman’s role is devalued between the lack of Theological understand of the women’s liberal movements, media’s constant misrepresentation of real womanhood, and religious abuse have left the beauty of the woman in a wreck.  Understand that mistreatment of is not a biblical model neither is it a church model.  God’s view of womanhood is elevated here in this passage.  

Solomon describes the immense value of a woman that holds certain characteristics.  Certain qualities have the ability to take a woman’s worth and elevate its beauty to that of a treasure.  

A Biblical Defense of Complementarianism

Complementarianism teaches that men and women are equal in worth and dignity but have distinct roles in the family and the church. This is grounded in Scripture:

• Creation Order: Genesis 2:18-25 establishes that Eve was created as a helper fit for Adam, not inferior but designed to complement him.

• Headship in Marriage: Ephesians 5:22-33 describes the husband’s role as Christ-like leadership and the wife’s role as respectful submission—both reflecting God’s design.

• Church Leadership: 1 Timothy 2:12-14 and 1 Corinthians 11:3 affirm male leadership in the church, while women exercise gifts within their God-ordained roles.

This is not about restriction but divine order. Men and women thrive when they embrace their distinct, God-given responsibilities.

These qualities are 

The Marriage of the Virtuous Woman

Trust Worthiness (11)

This is dealing with the issue of intimacy. 

She is not doing what “is best” or what she “thinks is best”. She has met her spouse at his values and he can trust her. 

There are plenty of women that would love to tell her husband what he should value.  The woman of virtue meets her husband at what he values.   

This is real intimacy.

A man’s trust and fear are connected to the history of the interaction.  He knows your not working for your agenda but you are together.  

Profitable Relationship (12)

She will do that which is good all the time.  There will be wisdom and logic when it comes to needs of her family.

The Activity of the Virtuous Woman

These first three deal with the desires of her soul.

Hard Working (13,19,24)

Caring (15,27)

Compassionate (20)

These last three deal with the desires of her family.

Prepared (21)

Attractive (22)

James Dobson says “The reason the average woman would rather have beauty than brains is she knows the average man can see better than he can think.”

A female comedian once said, “Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I wear a scent called New Car Interior.”

Reputation (23)

The Character of the Virtuous Woman

Optimistic (25)

Pleasant Words (26)

The Secret of the Virtuous Woman

Dedicated (30)

The Wisdom of Influence Over Authority

Feminism has historically sought to redefine the roles of men and women. While aspects of it rightly opposed oppression, modern feminism has largely rejected biblical distinctions. However, the Bible upholds influence over authority as a demonstration of wisdom.

1. The Power of a Godly Woman’s Influence – 1 Peter 3:1-2 emphasizes that wives can win their husbands through their conduct rather than demanding authority.

2. The Example of Esther – Esther did not seize power but influenced the king with wisdom, saving her people (Esther 4:14-16).

3. The Proverbs 31 Woman – She is strong, wise, and capable, yet her power comes through service, wisdom, and godly character rather than authority.

True influence is not about control but about leading through wisdom, character, and submission to God’s order.

Conclusion: The Wisdom of Christ

Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of power under submission. Though He is God, He submitted to the Father’s will (Philippians 2:5-8). He influenced the world not by demanding authority but by serving in humility (Mark 10:45).

• Just as a godly woman’s influence changes a home, Christ’s submission to the Father brought salvation.

• Just as a woman’s worth is in wisdom and virtue, Christ’s worth is in His perfect obedience and sacrifice.

• Just as men should recognize and value godly women, all of us must recognize and respond to the ultimate value—Jesus Christ.

Absolutely! The Proverbs 31 woman is a model of wisdom in action. Her activities, character, and influence are all intertwined with wisdom, demonstrating how she operates within God’s design rather than striving for authority. Below, I will fill out the actions of the Proverbs 31 woman, showing how wisdom is evident in each aspect.

The Actions of the Virtuous Woman: Wisdom in Motion

1. The Marriage of the Virtuous Woman: Wisdom in Relationships

✅ Trustworthiness (v. 11-12) – “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…”

• Wisdom in Action: She doesn’t manipulate or undermine but builds a foundation of trust.

• Biblical Parallel: 1 Peter 3:1-2 – Her chaste, respectful conduct can influence even an unbelieving husband.

✅ Profitable Relationship (v. 12) – “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

• Wisdom in Action: She understands that a marriage thrives when both partners seek the other’s best interest.

• Biblical Parallel: Ephesians 5:33 – Love and respect sustain a godly marriage.

2. The Activity of the Virtuous Woman: Wisdom in Daily Life

These verses illustrate how wisdom governs her decisions, her priorities, and her interactions.

✅ Hard Working (v. 13, 19, 24) – “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.”

• Wisdom in Action: She is diligent and does not waste time.

• Biblical Parallel: Proverbs 14:1 – “Every wise woman buildeth her house…”

✅ Caring (v. 15, 27) – “She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household…”

• Wisdom in Action: She is proactive, not reactive, in providing for her home.

• Biblical Parallel: Titus 2:4-5 – Teaching younger women to love their families.

✅ Compassionate (v. 20) – “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor…”

• Wisdom in Action: She sees beyond her own needs and meets the needs of others.

• Biblical Parallel: Matthew 5:7 – “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.”

✅ Prepared (v. 21) – “She is not afraid of the snow for her household…”

• Wisdom in Action: She anticipates future needs and takes action before problems arise.

• Biblical Parallel: Proverbs 22:3 – “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself…”

✅ Attractive (v. 22) – “Her clothing is silk and purple.”

• Wisdom in Action: She understands the value of presenting herself well.

• Biblical Parallel: 1 Timothy 2:9-10 – Modesty and godly beauty go hand in hand.

✅ Reputation (v. 23) – “Her husband is known in the gates…”

• Wisdom in Action: Her conduct enhances her husband’s reputation.

• Biblical Parallel: 1 Timothy 3:11 – The character of a wife reflects on her family.

3. The Character of the Virtuous Woman: Wisdom in Her Words & Attitude

✅ Optimistic (v. 25) – “She shall rejoice in time to come.”

• Wisdom in Action: She faces the future with faith, not fear.

• Biblical Parallel: Philippians 4:6-7 – “Be careful for nothing…”

✅ Pleasant Words (v. 26) – “She openeth her mouth with wisdom…”

• Wisdom in Action: Her speech is guided by discretion and kindness.

• Biblical Parallel: Proverbs 15:1 – “A soft answer turneth away wrath…”

4. The Secret of the Virtuous Woman: Wisdom in Her Relationship with God

✅ Dedicated (v. 30) – “A woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”

• Wisdom in Action: Her true value comes from her reverence for God.

• Biblical Parallel: Proverbs 9:10 – “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.”

Conclusion: The Ultimate Example of Wisdom—Jesus Christ

The Proverbs 31 woman mirrors Christ’s wisdom in several ways:

1. She serves with humility → Jesus, though King, came to serve (Mark 10:45).

2. She builds trust → Jesus invites us to trust Him fully (John 14:1).

3. She provides for others selflessly → Jesus laid down His life for us (John 10:11).

4. She speaks with wisdom → Jesus’ words are life-giving truth (John 6:68).

5. She fears the Lord → Jesus delighted to do His Father’s will (John 4:34).

Gospel Response: Recognizing and Pursuing True Value

Just as men must recognize the worth of a virtuous woman, all of us must recognize the worth of Jesus Christ.

✅ Recognize Real Value – John 10:10

✅ Reach for That Which is Valuable – Romans 6:23

✅ React to the Value – Will you receive Christ today?