Wave the White Flag

In 2013 I began a journey of recovery over on the west coast of Florida. As luck would have it, I became aware of and then became acquainted with an older gentlemen by the name of Sandy Beach — and appropriate name for a guy who lived on the gulf coast of Florida.

Sandy was a long term member of Alcoholics Anonymous, and had made quite a life for himself over his years. He was a highly regarded and sought after speaker for AA events around the world, due to his way with words and his incredible ability to articulate a message of hope for alcoholics everywhere.

Sandy was kind of a celebrity — well as much of a celebrity as you can be in an anonymous program and fellowship. I was lucky enough to meet him and be gifted a stack of CDs that had some of his best recorded messages on them.

The one that I remember most distinctly was a discussion on the 12 steps of the program and how they saved his life. He said that both when actively drinking and then when sober but living with the misery of his defects of character is was as if he was swimming… no drowning… in a sea of alcoholism. The booze and the aspects of his character that were pulling him under the water were like a rock that he was clinging to for dear life — yet he could not for the life of him understand why he couldn’t float.

And meanwhile in a boat right next to him were friends and family and other members of AA shouting at him “Drop the Rock!”

And so it’s only fitting that today I introduce to you a new sermon series for the season of Lent — “Drop the Rock.” Over the next several weeks we will explore the 12 steps of recovery and how they relate to our walk of redemption and resurrection with Jesus Christ.

You may be thinking, but aren’t the 12 steps for alcoholics and drug addicts? Why are we talking about this in church? Well because the 12 steps are not only for people with the debilitating disease of Addiction. The 12 steps are for everyone.

In fact they were formed directly out of the Christian tradition. Fr. Richard Rohr calls the 12 steps “the Marrow of the Gospel.” My friend and colleague Rev. Justin LaRosa calls the 12 steps “the best discipleship program ever written” which is pretty high praise from a guy who in fact wrote his own book called “The Disciple’s Path.”

The 12 steps actually found their origin in a group called the oxford group. The Oxford Group was a Christian movement founded in the early 20th century by Frank Buchman, an American Lutheran minister. Originally called A First Century Christian Fellowship, it aimed to rekindle the spirit of early Christianity by emphasizing personal transformation through absolute honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love. The movement gained traction in the 1920s and 1930s, especially among business and religious leaders.

The Oxford Group taught that personal problems, including addiction, were rooted in moral failings and could be overcome through surrender to God, self-examination, confession, making amends, and helping others. Their belief in a practical, step-by-step spiritual experience strongly influenced the formation of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).

Bill Wilson, one of AA’s founders, had a spiritual awakening while hospitalized for alcoholism in 1934. Encouraged by his friend Ebby Thacher—who had been helped by the Oxford Group—Wilson embraced their principles but later modified them. As AA developed, it moved away from the Oxford Group’s explicitly Christian framework to make the program more inclusive, leading to the creation of the 12 Steps.

So, the 12 steps are born from and steeped in the way of Jesus. Which means they have something to teach us, if we are willing to listen.

Step one of the 12 steps is this:

We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol (or simply sin) and that our lives had become unmanageable.

The most wonderful description of this phenomena — this admission of 2 things — powerlessness and unmanageability — come to us from the pen of the apostle Paul.

Romans 7:15–25 NRSV

I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. But in fact it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do what is good, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with my mind I am a slave to the law of God, but with my flesh I am a slave to the law of sin.

The inner war that is being waged here is really something, but when you strip away some of the rambling and the greek rhetorical argument, what we find is a man who is fundamentally sick of himself. Paul — the guy who like single handedly evangelized the non-jewish world. Paul the guy who before converting to the way of Jesus was a Pharisee in the Jewish faith. This guy was a religious fanatic. And he can’t stand himself, because still in the midst of all of his closeness in proximity to God, he can’t shake his appetite for sin.

So look, if you’re thinking poorly about yourself because of your inner thoughts or the way that you act because of them, just know that like the most Christian person in history felt the same way about himself.

But take a look at how Paul unpacks this:

He makes an admission: I do not understand my own actions.

He understands that he is in fact powerless: I do the very thing I hate.

Talk to anyone who is actively drinking in an alcoholic fashion or using drugs in a way that is abusive and addictive and they won’t tell you that they do this because they want to. Maybe at some point in time they liked it and actually believed that they had a choice in the matter… but by the time that they get to this point, they know that they don’t have a choice any more. They may even start every day with the intention of not taking the first drink or drug. But then something happens and they’ve gone and done it again, very much against their will at times. They have no power.

Have you ever felt that way? Like today is going to be a good day. I’m not going to do the thing that I do that I hate. I’m not yelling at my kids. I’m not going to have road rage today. I’m not going to the donut shop. I’m not going to order anything from amazon. I’m not going to do whatever it is that I do that inevitably brings harm to myself or others or puts strain on my relationships. And then… you do it and you’re like I don’t even know what happened.

This is powerlessness. This is what Paul, what step one is talking about. You can’t help yourself.

and then Paul goes on to describe this inner war — his heart mind and body at war with one another. This is unmanageability. Paul’s struggle manifests in a state of dis-ease and disorder within himself. He calls himself a wretched man — a slave to sin.

For us maybe unmanageability looks like unstable finances, or a continuous conversation with a doctor about the lab results that just don’t get better over time because of the choices that we make. Maybe it looks like family who just don’t want to be around us any more. Maybe it looks like something else. Regardless, unmanageability is the tangible result of living a life dominated by the destructive behaviors that we are powerless over. And they will destroy us if they are not dealt with.

The destructive force of sin in our lives is insidious. It begins by convincing us that it is not going to destroy us. No one drinks for the first time and says “I want to destroy my life with this.” But when we get to the bottom of where these behaviors and attitudes take us, we must come to the realization that we have been deceived. One fellowship says, we must grow up or die.

The answer to powerlessness is surrender. Surrender begins with admission of where we are and with acceptance of our deep need for help.

It means that we recognize that we are being ruled over by sinful principles rather than spiritual principles. And those sinful principles are like rocks that we are trying to swim in the ocean carrying. And they are dragging us down to a slow and painful spiritual death.

The admission of our powerlessness and unmanageability is simply an exercise in opening our eyes to the fact that we are holding onto a rock, and that its not our rock to carry. We can let go of it and climb into a boat. But that process is not easy. We can’t do it alone.

Luke 15 tells us a story of a young boy who had big dreams of ditching his dad’s farm and the small town he lived in. He didn’t want to live the life that his family expected him to live. His blind greed and ambition motivated him to tell his dad he wanted his inheritance now — a slap in the face. Reluctantly the man gave his son what he asked for.

The boy took his money and set off for the city. Who knows what his career plans were, but with the cash in hand and blinded by the sheer magnitude of temptation he found in the city, he set his dreams aside for the temporary pleasure found in worldly vices. He gambled and drank and found company with prostitutes. He squandered his portion of his father’s fortune. And he found himself homeless, hungry, and hardly employable. He went from the high life of the city to wallowing in pig pits hoping for a meal. In a moment of clarity, he realized “I have messed up so bad, something has to change. I know what I must do. I must return to my father.”

I don’t know how badly his ego was raging to prevent him from returning home earlier. I don’t know the internal struggle there. But it must have been massive.

And I don’t know how high the walls are that you’ve built up to surround that one part of your life that is tearing you apart from the inside. I don’t know what it is that you are clinging to because you don’t even know that you can drop the rock. But I do know that if you keep holding on, if you keep listening to that inner voice that says you can’t drop the rock… then you are going to drown in a sea of self seeking, self centered, selfishness. This is the nature of sin. It seeks to destroy you with your permission.

It’s time to surrender. Listen I’m not here to tell you what it is that you need to just knock off. I’m not here to tell you what rock you need to drop. But I’m here to tell you that this week you better figure out what it is that’s killing you spiritually. It’s something. Remember Paul, the best most professional Christian ever struggled.

This week you are going to figure out what that one thing is that you’re going to drop is. And you’re going to become willing to do what it is that we need to do next. And I’ll tell you what the next thing you need to do is… in a week.

Friends this is what lent is about. It’s about coming to terms with our humanity, coming to terms with our frailty. Coming to terms with our need for help. There is one who can help you, that one is God, may we find God now.