The Meaning of Divorce

I wanted to open today with a thank for giving me the opportunity to share today.

It has been a rough month and it has been nice to rest and soak in.

When we started the year 2025 we started a new saga of study called Christ in the Old Testament. I had felt a pull for a few years to study on this and share it. It was meant to be a VERY long saga study. I got three weeks in before the fire.

Now, I adapt to change really well, if something has to change, I’m the first to say, what do we get to throw away. And that’s not for everybody, but when we got here I asked myself, in the ministry of Standing Stone Church, what do I have to set aside or throw away.

And I thought, maybe I need to wait a bit on this Christ in the Old Testament for a little while.

Then last week, Jim asked me to teach this week and I looked at the passage in Matthew 5 and then I looked at my passage for Christ in the Old Testament, and said, well, looks like I can do both, at least this week.

So, we are in the Sermon on the Mount, we are learning about Divorce and Oaths. But we’ll also see why this had to be brought up by Jesus in the first place.

What does divorce mean?

As we think about and answer this question, I want it clear that there is no judgement here. If you’ve been through a divorce, you will not be judged on the whys or whatever.

We are talking about the basics today, we are not diving into anyone’s divorce nor are we going to launch into a counseling session.

What Does Divorce mean?

Lot’s of good answers there.

Let’s look at the passage from Matthew 5 and see what Jesus has to say about Divorce. Will someone read Matthew 5:31-32

Matthew 5:31–32 ESV

31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Okay, so we have our list of what divorce means. Good definitions. Let’s look at the word divorce Jesus used.

This is something I’ve started recently and that is introducing a word from the Bible in it’s original language.

You’ll see on your sheet’s a bunch of crazy symbol like letters.

apoloyo ἀπολύω

This word we translate divorce is a little different meaning than what we came up with

It means a few different words and this word is used several difference places in scripture and means something a little different depending on the context. We have: to dismiss, to depart, to let go, and the one I think fits most of all. To let die. Write that one down

So a tough question: this can be an opinion from experience or just speculation.

Do you think anyone is ever joyful during a divorce?

Now, before you answer, I know there are situations where a divorce is a relief, or the divorce makes you more safe.

Not what I’m asking. In Going through the divorce was it a fun joyful experience?

I’m sure there is an exception to the rule out there somewhere, but in general no one out there who has been through a divorce says, “oh Boy, I can’t wait to go through that again.”

That’s because, no matter the circumstances, divorce is taking a union and taking it apart.

So this is where we take a trip back in scripture and see the very first divorce. Because it all had to stop somewhere.

Any guesses?

When was the very first divorce?

Book?

Chapter?

Good. Let’s go to the tail end of Genesis 2 and read v. 24

Genesis 2:24 ESV

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Good, so we have the first marriage.

If you were at Standing Stone is January you may remember how the first marriage began.

It wasn’t with a courtship or a fine dining it was with a

can anyone remember?

A surgery. God cut into Adam’s side extracted a rib. Sealed the wound then wrapped flesh around the rib and created Adam’s bride.

And we talked about how Adam was perfect at this point in time. And as a perfect human being he shed his blood for his bride.

4,000 years later Jesus did the same. A perfect man, who is also God, took a wound in the his side to create his bride, which is what we call the church today.

Back to Adam and Eve. They were the first marriage, but it wasn’t a marriage like we think of it today.

Today, when a Christian couple get married they may make a promise that God will be part of their marriage. Or that they will consult God on their decisions. Something to that effect.

In Adam and Eve’s marriage God was physically present in their marriage. The best way to express the relationship might be the word Throuple. It’s modern word meaning a three person relationship. In this case it is a perfect and holy one, not so much like ones we might see around today. Adam, Eve, and the LORD in relationship.

This three person relationship was three people 3 bodies

Can someone read Genesis 3:8

Genesis 3:8 ESV

8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, (STOP!)

What we have here is what is called a Christophany. That is a pre-incarnate Jesus appearing in the flesh.

He doesn’t have the name Jesus yet, but this is God in the flesh who would come to walk with Adam and Eve.

But, I promised you a divorce, now haven’t I.

Someone read Gen 2:16-17

Genesis 2:16–17 ESV

16 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”

You shall surely DIE

Someone remind us what marriage is from verse 24 of chapter 2

They will be ONE flesh

Let’s keep going

Someone Gen 3:1-6

Genesis 3:1–6 ESV

1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, 3 but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ” 4 But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

apoloyo ἀπολύω

What just happened here?

Adam and Eve let their marriage die. They removed God from their relationship. They broke their oath.

And that is what divorce is according to the Bible.

Now what does that mean for me and for you?

Let’s go back to Jesus and the Sermon on the Mount to see what we can learn.

Matthew 5:33–36 ESV

33 “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ 34 But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36 And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black.

This is a great opportunity for a sum up.

The Sermon on the Mount began with the Beatitudes, which is a pronouncement of blessings. He then shifts into instructions about the law.

Jesus says we are the salt of the earth or light of the earth and if we aren’t living a life that reflects the values of the kingdom of heaven then we are tasteless or devoid of light.

He then goes into saying that he came to fulfill the law. He pretty bluntly says that he is the only one who can fulfill it and no one else has a chance of doing all the law perfectly.

He addresses anger and says it’s the same as murder.

Lust is the same as a physical affair.

Which brings us back to divorce which, when we look at the word Jesus used, means to let die.

Then we finish this section, kind of. There is more to chapter 5 and the sermon on the mount, but I think he is making a transition here and the oaths close this segment on Salt, light, the law, anger, lust and divorce.

Jesus says don’t make an oath.

This is an easy one. What’s an oath?

That’s right a promise. But it would often have blessings or consequences with it. Jesus says don’t take an oath at all.

By this he means, don’t get up in front of people and make a show. First and foremost, if people know you, they know you’re just showing off. Second, even if you are trustworthy, an oath draws attention to your works and makes you the object of praise.

As Jesus sums up here. He says in Matt 5:37

Matthew 5:37 ESV

37 Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

Are you the salt of the earth?

Yes?

Then be the salt of the earth.

Does your anger cause you to sin?

Yes?

Then deal with conflicts and broken relationships before your murder someone in your heart.

Does looking at a member of the opposite sex cause problems in your mind and heart?

Yes?

Then stop looking at members of the opposite sex.

Is divorce a word that has harmed you in any way?

Yes?

Then don’t let it define your future.

Those who know me, know I will always point people to restoration when it comes to marital death.

Some situations are extreme, and because of one or both parties unbelief the marriage dies.

But I’ve got one more question for you.

Thinking back to that first marriage where God in the flesh, walked with Adam and Eve, and their marriage with him only died when they left him and listened to someone else.

Yes or No.

Is there a marriage SO bad that God can’t help two willing people fix it?

No?

Very good let’s close in prayer.