Identity Amnesia

INTRODUCTION:

High school homeschool and foot surgeries. Forgot who I was in Christ.

2 Peter 1:8–9 CSB

8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being useless or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 The person who lacks these things is blind and shortsighted and has forgotten the cleansing from his past sins.

Peter exposes a clear cause-and-effect in the heart of every believer: we become useless and unfruitful in life when we forget who we are and what we’ve been given in Christ.

I would ask you today: how have you forgotten who you are and what you’ve been given in Christ? And then, the obvious follow up question: where is your heart trying to find identity in the creation?

This is why community with other believers is absolutely necessary. Your spiritual eyes are blind, and identity amnesia is rarely seen or felt, so you need the loving exhortation of others to prevent the deception of sin and hardening of heart (Hebrews 3:13)

There’s no more secure and joyous identity than being “in Christ” - we just need help remembering. So today, humbly admit that you’re an amnesiac. God is near and active; he won’t stop working until the job is done.

Identity In Achievement

Because we're human beings with souls, we naturally need to find identity somewhere, in something, or in someone. So, when we forget that our identity is found "in Christ", we're going to default to a substitute identity.

The first common replacement: identity in achievement.

God calls us to be effective and productive, so we ought to be concerned about our harvest and the return on our investments. Success is a biblical concept, and God wants us to do great things for his kingdom. But, the minute we take on our achievements as an identity, dangerous things happen.

In my experience, there are three types of people who fall victim to finding identity in their achievement:

1. Over Achiever

Do you get a deep sense of personal fulfillment when you get the next "notch" in your belt at work? Do you find it hard to slow down and say no to opportunities where you know you'll impress? Do you get irritated and angered when someone or something interferes with what you're trying to accomplish?

It's a God-honoring thing to work hard, but because of our wandering hearts, it's easy to lose sight of God and biblical priorities in the midst of our pursuit of personal achievement and success. Your identity in life is found in what Christ did for you on Calvary, not in what you can do for yourself or for God.

2. Under Achiever

Do feel as if you haven't accomplished what you want to accomplish in life? Are younger people taking on more responsibility at work? Are you aware of how much success your friends and peers are having while you seem to enjoy very little?

When we put our identity in achievement, and then fail to have success, we become discouraged, depressed, and bitter, not only towards others, but often towards God as well. Your identity in life is found in what Christ accomplished on the Cross, not in how much you can accomplish on earth.

3. Regretful Achiever

Do you look back on your life with great remorse, seeing how much achievement and success drove you? Do you see evidence of broken relationships as a result of your pursuit and wish you could rewind the clock and do it all over again?

Listen: your identity is found in the perfect life of Christ, not in the mistake-riddled life you look back on with grief. Christ, without regret, went to the Cross to cover all the regrets you would have in the future. And, God's timing is always perfect. Instead of dwelling on the past, allow God to redeem however much of your future you have left on this earth, for his glory and your good.

So, if I haven't said it enough, achievement is a very dangerous place to find identity. You will disappoint yourself, others will disappoint you, and your list of successes won't satisfy the craving of your soul. Only the person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ will.

Identity In Relationships

The second appealing but hazardous identity trap: our relationships.

Just like God created us to be successful workers, so God created us to be social beings. His plan, from day one, was for us to live in meaningful relationships with other people.

It's one of the reasons God says, "It is not good that the man should be alone." (Genesis 2:18)

Human community is also one of the primary ways we reflect God's image. Our relationships are essential to life. 

In fact, our relationships are so essential that God positioned the command to love one another as second only to the call to love him (Matthew 22:37-39).

But just as sin messes with our ability to work hard for God's glory, so sin messes with our ability to pursue relationships in a healthy way.

Our twisted hearts are lured into thinking that other human beings can provide the one thing that only God was designed to provide.

Children

If you're a parent, you'll be lured into seeking identity in your children.

We start to live for, and live through, our kids. Their appreciation for us, their respect of us, and their personal success because of us (so we think) become the reasons we get up in the morning.

Sooner or later, this way of relating to your children will come crashing down. Our kids were never given to us to be trophies on the mantel of our identity.

If anything, their success is a hymn of praise to another Father who provided everything they need to be where they are and to do what they're doing. As parents, we're never more than instruments in his redemptive hands.

Spouse

Similarly, if you're married, you'll be tempted to find identity in your spouse. We tend to feel the most alive when our husband or wife gives us praise and affection, and we quickly become discouraged and irritated when we feel ignored or taken for granted.

Finding identity in your spouse will never work. No sinner can be your mighty fortress; only God can, as the classic hymn reminds us.

Perhaps even more importantly: when you look to another person for identity, you're not loving them; you're using them to love yourself.

Other Loves

Children and marriages are probably the two most frequently occurring locations for misplaced relational identity, but we all attempt to find identity in another human being at some point – a friend, a "celebrity" that we know, or even a spiritual mentor!

It's a parasitic way of living that always ends in disappointment.

Human relationships are unable to provide us with life, contentment, happiness, and joy, so when we ask them to be our source of identity, it's only a matter of time before they fail us.

We can never be reminded of this enough: our identity is only safe in one Person - Jesus Christ!

His love, unlike other people's love, will never fail. His work, unlike other people's work, is complete. So run to the Lord again today.

As the Psalmist says, "He is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." (Psalm 18:2)

Spiritual Performance

The third identity trap is personal spiritual performance.

When we first met Jesus, we were overwhelmed by our desperate need for God's grace. We saw his sin everywhere and were constantly thankful for the daily mercy and patience of the Redeemer.

Since no one is better at giving grace than the person who knows they need it most, we were patient with the people around us who struggled. We knew that they were essentially no different from us and that they were only kept by God’s grace.

But as we grew older, something began to change in our heart.

Spiritually Entitled: We felt as though we deserved to be a child of God. We became proud of our theological knowledge and had little patience for Christians who weren't motivated to study their faith.

Judgmental: We looked down on brothers and sisters who struggled faithfully to participate in public worship and small groups.

Arrogant/Self-Righteous: We became boastful in our generosity to the church and spiteful of those who were consumers instead of contributors.

We became obsessed with our mission trip trophies, evangelism body counts and volunteer hours (or office hours compared to others)

Our once tender, grateful hearts had given way to a hard and self-assured Christian man/woman.

What was our ultimate problem? He misplaced his identity "in Christ" and transferred it over to his personal spiritual performance.

Could it be that although we're heavily active in church, we're doing it out of a sense of duty instead of with a willing, loving and worshipful heart?

Might it be that in what we say we do for God, we actually do for ourselves and our own misplaced personal identity? 

Here's what you need to ask yourself: "Do I live today like I need Christ’s grace as much as the first day I believed?"

Or is there evidence of a cold-hearted, duty-bound relationship to religion?

Don't attempt to place your identity in your personal spiritual performance; the whole reason Christ came to earth was because our performance was inadequate! Rather, rest in the perfect performance of Christ on your behalf and live in humble, loving and grateful relationship with God and others.

The Creation

The fourth and final identity substitute is the catch-all category of creation.

Physical things are seductive precisely because they're physical. We can feel their texture, see their shape and beauty, and smell their aroma.

While the Bible tells us that the most important things in life are unseen, creation is stiff competition when it comes to what gets our attention.

To make matters worse, our culture assumes that something is wrong with us if we're content with what we own and aren't constantly looking for bigger and better.

We've grown so accustomed to this message of acquiring that we don't even realize the extent to which we define ourselves by the created world.

In my experience, these are the 6 most commonly recurring items in creation that tend to trap and define us:

1. Possessions

You name it: a home, a second home, a car, a second car, a widescreen TV, an in-ground pool, a game room, the newest Apple product, or even just a well-manicured lawn; it's nearly impossible to not be defined by your stuff, or lack thereof. While these possessions can be used for hospitality and generosity, often times our purchases are not motivated primarily by the Kingdom of God.

What do your most recent transactions expose about your heart?

2. Food

I love food; I'm thankful that so much of the glory of God in creation is edible! If you take the time to consider the combination of flavors that the Lord invented, it's impossible not to worship his creativity. But, too much of even a good thing can become a bad thing when it becomes a ruling thing in our hearts.

Do you spend too much time and money seeking out the next best meal?

3. Pleasure

Like food, sexual pleasure is a physical sensation that God gave to his people for their enjoyment and his praise. But when we lose sight of God's ownership and name sex as our own, we overstep his protective boundaries and risk destructive addiction. 

Where are you violating God's beautiful design for sex?

4. Fitness

We live in a culture that has institutionalized the practice of being defined by Crossfit, six-pack abs, and big biceps. While bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come (1 Timothy 4:8). 

Have you spent more time this week caring for your body than for your soul?

5. Appearance

Men will attach their identity not only to their work, but also to the value of the suit and watch and shoes they wear to work. Women will come home with more clothes and handbags than they can possibly fit into their wardrobe. And it's rarely out of necessity; it's frequently due to identity.

At some point, haven't we all stressed over the outfit we're going to wear to church?

6. Lesiure

Life in this fallen world is hard, and a break from the schedule is needed; after all, God did invent a day of rest. But we probably don't need the over-luxurious vacations we take, and we definitely need to question our motives before sharing the pictures on our Facebook or Instagram.

Do you enjoy telling others about your leisure because it produces envy?

I have to say this: a good Creator lovingly created a pleasurable creation. That means that the world we enjoy is not inherently evil. But, like I said at the beginning, even a good thing becomes a bad thing when it becomes a ruling thing in our hearts.

A big home won't produce lasting confidence;

a luxurious car won't give your heart rest;

a fashionable wardrobe and washboard abs won't provide the comfort your soul craves.

Only the person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ has the ability to do that for you.

At some point, the creation will fail you; Jesus never will.

The evidence is persuasive and the conclusion is clear: we tend to let the physical things of this world define us instead of Christ.

But God won't give up on us in the midst of our stumbling. He'll continue to chase us down, sometimes taking away our possessions if necessary, so that our hearts will worship him alone.

And a heart that worships God alone is a heart that finds rest, security, peace, and joy, regardless of the circumstances.

THE CONSEQUENCES/SYMPTOMS

How do you know whether you’ve succumbed to an identity crisis in the Lord?

Or, to use the words of 2 Peter - useless and unfruitful, blind and shortsighted?

I want to briefly examine three "fruits" that develop as a result of a lifestyle, or a season of life, shaped by misplaced identity.

1. Unreasonably Happy

We often buy the delusion that identity is tangible and can be found in the physical world. It's not, and it can't. Think about it: our meaning and purpose is derived by faith from a vertical relationship with an unseen God, not horizontally from what we touch or feel or experience.

We also buy the delusion that what we have is going to last. But your future success in business isn't guaranteed. Your church or ministry won't stick around forever. Your kids will grow up and move out. Your body will change its shape, wrinkle, weaken, and malfunction.

When you seek identity from a horizontal or tangible experience, you're placing your hope in something that will wither and fade (Isaiah 40:8). Only God outlasts time. Only God avoids decay. Only God eludes chaos. Trusting anything or anyone else is a delusional danger that inevitably will come crashing down.

2. Unreasonably Sad

Unlike the delusional crowd, many of us don't have positive experiences with the tangible, physical world. We feel as if life has been unfair. We struggle to celebrate with others when they receive blessing. We've told ourselves again and again that our success is just around the corner, but it never seems to come.

Feeling ripped off and envious, we question the goodness, love, and wisdom of God. Why would he single us out for this treatment? Why would that person (who clearly doesn't deserve it) experience life in abundance? But notice the danger here – we define "the good life" in physical, horizontal terms rather than vertical, spiritual relationship with God.

3. Unreasonably Empty

Finally, whether we're delusional or disappointed, we'll experience the emptiness that misplaced identity never fails to produce. Why? Because the Bible states that "man shall not live by bread alone" (Matthew 4:4).

Jesus teaches us that human beings are spiritual beings, created to "feed" on the Lord himself. He is to be our meat and drink. He alone is able to satisfy our deepest hungers and our most pervasive thirsts. And it's only in a vertical relationship with an eternal God that such satisfaction of heart can be found.

I would encourage you this week to take inventory of your identity stock. Where are you seeking meaning and purpose: from achievement, relationships, spirituality or creation? And then, how are you responding: with delusion or disappointment?

God is always giving us an opportunity to take an accounting, to make honest confession, and to begin walking on a new and better pathway. Identity "in Christ" never leads to emptiness, but rather, life in abundance.

IDENTITY RESET

In closing, I want to help us consider the benefits of pursuing and placing our identity vertically, in God.

The great Christian thinker John Calvin taught, "There is no knowing that does not begin with knowing God."

In other words, it's only when we have God in his proper place and are celebrating who he is that we can ever truly know ourselves.

In my experience, there are three pillars of "knowing God" that are fundamental to how we define ourselves.

We need to know - and more importantly, worship - God as Creator, Sovereign, and Savior in order to find our true biblical identity.

Creator

We must start at the beginning and recognize that we were made by God.

David captures it so well.

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance..." (Psalm 139: 13-16a)

What powerful and amazing words! Every part of the fabric of your personhood was carefully knit together by God’s creative hands. There was no part of you that was hidden from him. He carefully examined every aspect of your unformed body before you were born. 

The color of your eyes, the shape of your body, your intellectual and physical gifts, your hair, your voice, your personality, the color of your skin, the size of your feet, and more — all of your hardwiring is the result of God’s glorious creative ability. There were no accidents, no glitches, no thoughtless moments.

Now, this should be familiar to us all. We probably "know" these truths about God as Creator. But do we worship him for it? Sadly, I've experienced that while many of us worship God as Creator on Sunday, we curse his work during the week. Most of us harbor dissatisfaction with who God made us to be.

The short ones want to be taller; the tall ones want to be shorter. The intellectuals secretly wish to be athletic; the mechanically minded people secretly wish they could be more musical. The serious person wishes, just for once, that he could be the life of the party, and the guy who was given the gift to think and to teach wishes he could have been more administrative.

There are times in all of our lives when we secretly wish we could rise to the throne of Creator and remake ourselves in the image of what we would like to be. So many of our struggles are a result of us thinking that we're smarter than God. "If only I had been made ______, my life would have been better."

Let me remind and encourage you today - the world, and you, are in the best of hands . Whenever we try to take over, we end up making a mess. God never made a mistake. And that includes who you are, down to your pinky toe. Rest in your body and make the most of the gifts God gave specifically to you.

Sovereign

Psalm 139 continues. Verse 16: "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."

Wow! It's a view of human identity that should take your breath away. Not only is it crucial to find your identity in God as Creator, but you must also find your identity in God as Sovereign. 

You and I must rest in the fact that every situation, circumstance, location, experience, and relationship of your life has been under the wise and careful administration of the Lord Almighty.

He has known from the beginning exactly what he was going to do and exactly why he did it. From his vantage point, there are no slip-ups, no oversights, no accidents, no misunderstandings, and no mistakes. Nothing has fallen through the cracks.

Why is this important? Well, let's be honest: our lives haven't unfolded as we had planned. Or, if you're young, you may know exactly what you want to accomplish and the things you're determined to avoid, but it won't work out according to your script.

That's a good thing, although it might not appear to be on the surface. Here's the simple truth: you and I don't write our own stories; they've been written for us. Our job is to live inside of the plot that God has determined in the way we've been called to live.

But just like with our bodies and our gifts, there are times when we secretly wish we could grab a hold of the joystick and direct the trajectory of our lives. Guess what? God, in love, won't let go.

As a result, we experience crushing disappointments, not because God is cruel, but because we let ourselves down with delusions of personal sovereignty.

Let me remind and encourage you again: God is sovereign; you and I aren't. This isn't just theology we should proclaim on Sunday; it must be the foundation of our identity every day of the week. God is in absolute control, and he's infinitely good.

Savior

Finally, we need to be reminded that God is our Savior.

By default, that means that we're people in need of saving. In other words, we're people born with a crippling and life-altering disease: it's called sin.

As sinners, or cripples, the most wonderful thing that could ever happen in our life is salvation, or healing.

It means that the most wonderful thing that I could ever be called is not boss, or husband, or father, or friend, but "child of God."

It also means that God's most significant objective in my life, from salvation until Jesus returns, is sanctification.

We want our lives to be comfortable, successful, and predictable, but God is willing to compromise all of these in order to deal with our deepest difficulty: indwelling and remaining sin.

Always remind yourself of your identity as a sinner, not to wallow in guilt and shame, but to maximize the celebration of your salvation. It will prevent self-righteous delusion and usher in a deeper love for your Savior, Jesus Christ.

And, of course, don't forget about sanctifying grace. God hasn't forgotten; he's near and he's active. But he hasn't singled you out for particular abuse. No, in love, he's working on your biggest problem, and he won't stop working until the job is done.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

Where have you misplaced your identity in the past?

Why was that "creation identity" so appealing to you?

How did you come to realize that identity in the created world couldn't hold the burden of giving you meaning and purpose?

In what ways do you need to be reminded of your identity in the Lord Jesus? (Creator, Sovereign, Savior)