2nd Samuel 13: 1-22

Lust Not Love:

Okay so second Samuel chapter 13

Ch:11

Coming off of the last two chapters David took another mans wife , had her husband killed in the front lines and impregnated Bathsheba

We are lead officially into the downfall of King David and his Kingdom

Back in chapter 11 David had become a man consumed by sin that was in his heart, which lead him to give in fully to that sin

1)David Lusted after Bathsheba by longing for her from his roof top, He coveted another mans wife

2)He committed adultery by sleeping with her

3)and then he committed murder by Having her Husband killed on the front lines in hopes of covering up His sin.

Now Some may say that if David only knew or understood the repercussions of His sin that he would have probably never committed the sin

but that gives us some insight to just how far gone David had allowed himself to get. With the Lust that was in His heart , being left unchecked for many years, collecting more wives and concubines for Himself as time went on, he satisfied this dark place in his heart over and over again

He displeased the Lord as it said in the Last verse of chapter 11

So Davids downfall all began because of a fleshly desire that he had no way of controlling

CH 12

IN chapter 12 the prophet Nathan shared a simple yet powerful parable to King David, which grabbed his attention and helped Him realize that He was the rich man that Nathan was talking about CH 12 vs 1-4

that rich man preyed on the resources of the poor man , which David had done to Uriah with Bathsheba

Now David had gotten Bathsheba pregnant during their illegal encounter and the consequence to Davids sin was that the Lord took the baby and allowed the baby to die of an illness

furthermore leading to the destruction and downfall of David and His family

In 2nd Samuel 12:7-11 It Says:

2 Samuel 12:7–11 NKJV

7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! Thus says the Lord God of Israel: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8 I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your keeping, and gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if that had been too little, I also would have given you much more! 9 Why have you despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in His sight? You have killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword; you have taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the people of Ammon. 10 Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’ 11 Thus says the Lord: ‘Behold, I will raise up adversity against you from your own house; and I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun.

In these 5 verses of chapter 12 we see some prophecy that can be overlooked regarding Davids future, specifically from the prophet Nathan

The Lord said to David that He would experience adversity and that the sword would Never depart from His household and even His wives would do to him as he did to Uriah

Consequence to sin

Now In verse 13 of ch 12 is says 2 Samuel 12:13 “13 So David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die.”

David confessed His sin and the Lord showed Him mercy, specifically The Lord , said that he would not die for the sin He committed

David committed 3 acts in the 10 commandments that were all worthy of Death . Coveting, adultery and murder, yet the Lord showed Him mercy and didn’t kill him

but that doesn’t mean he wont experience the consequence to His sin

the consequence to His sin will last all the way up until he dies

Sin and consequence can have an ever lasting affect on us. The consequence to sin has the potential to last a life time and thats what we will see from here on out with King David

The sword will never Leave His house,

His wives will be sleeping around and leave Him.

Specifically His son Absalom will take his concubines and sleep with them. We will see that in CH 16

2 Samuel 16:21–22 NKJV

21 And Ahithophel said to Absalom, “Go in to your father’s concubines, whom he has left to keep the house; and all Israel will hear that you are abhorred by your father. Then the hands of all who are with you will be strong.” 22 So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the top of the house, and Absalom went in to his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel.

So from chapter 11- 13, we see the wickedness of the Lost heart, We see Sin and the consequence to sin, We see confession to the Sin, We see mercy and Grace poured out on David from the Lord because of the sin , we see forgiveness of the sin, and Now we are going to see the prophecy of Davids Life through the Prophet Nathan regarding the Life of David from Here on out.

Davids downfall is finally here

Here in chapter 13 we are going to see the very start of the civil war that takes place within Davids family.

the sword is officially Here in Davids Family

So if you haven’t yet turn over to 2nd Samuel ch 13:

2 Samuel 13:1 “1 After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.”

Okay so Absalom and Tamar are full on biological siblings , they aren’t half siblings or step siblings, they are fully related to the same parents , David and His wife Maacah. In chapter 3 of 2nd Samuel it says “ Absalom the son of Maacah, the daughter of Talmai, King of Geshur

now both Absalom, and Tamar were described in the Hebrew bible as exceptionally beautiful, Hints the reason for Davids other son Amnon loving her

Now this guy Amnon, was actually Davids very first born to his other wife Ahinoam the Jezreelite

SO Amnon was the Half sibling to Absalom and Tamar

He was a creep

Now at the end of the verse it says that Amnon “LOVED” Tamar , Some of us may say why did they use that word love to describe how he felt about her

the problem is that in the english language we use the word love to mean many different things ( i can get into the weeds of this but I don’t want to bore you)

so the word love here is describing something else here that we are going to see unfold

It should actually be that Amnon lusted after his half sister Tamar, instead of loved her

so again homie is a creep

2 Samuel 13:2 “2 Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her.”

so during this time period it was known amongst the Nation of Israel to be unlawful to sleep with one of your siblings

Incest in the nation of Israel was forbidden

Leviticus 18:9 “9 The nakedness of your sister, the daughter of your father, or the daughter of your mother, whether born at home or elsewhere, their nakedness you shall not uncover.”

In order for Amnon to have any kind of relationship with Tamar, he would of had to marry her , but he couldn’t marry His half sister, it was also forbidden

so he became distressed to the point of being physically ill over the “Love” “Lust” that was in his heart for His sister

lets see this unfold

2 Samuel 13:3 “3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man.”

2 Samuel 13:4 “4 And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.””

2 Samuel 13:5 “5 So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’ ”

Okay so this dude Jonadab is actually cousins to Amnon, He’s a very wicked and evil man as we can tell by the advice he gives to Amnon

the kings son should not be looking thin, if anything he should be nice and plump, after all, he had the ability to eat and he had the resources to eat and stay healthy

Amnon Himself is becoming more and more sick by the moment because of His lust , even to the point of referring to His sister as Absalom’s sister

He was actually trying to justify the Issues he had in his heart by making it sound Like they were not related, simply because they were Half Siblings

Thats very weird behavior

vs 5 this so called friend Jonadab encourages Amnon to Rape His own sister

Its pretty twisted but it goes to show us just how influential so called “Friends” can be in our life

we either have friends that encourage, build up and point to the Lord, or we have friends that tear down, deceive us and encourage us to do bad things

2 Samuel 13:6 “6 Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”

during this time period a virgin was kept in seclusion until they were to get into an espousal relationship and then a marriage relationship .

as we continue to read you will see that virgins were marked by what they wore

2 Samuel 13:7 “7 And David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Now go to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.””

2 Samuel 13:8 “8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes.”

2 Samuel 13:9 “9 And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me.” And they all went out from him.”

2 Samuel 13:10 “10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom.”

2 Samuel 13:11 “11 Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.””

2 Samuel 13:12 “12 But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing!”

Amnon is a deceitful punk ! forcing his sister to bake cakes for him all to Lure her into the bedroom so he could force Himself on her

the Loss of virginity for a young woman due to pre marital sex/ or rape in this case, was considered a stain on a persons character, they would be marked for life and in some cases be banned for life from the kingdom they were from

virginity to a man that was marrying the woman was a big deal, so much of a big deal that the parents of the so called virgin had to in fact prove and provide evidence that she was a virgin according to the old testament in the book of Deuteronomy

virginity was something to be guarded and protected by a young lady during this time, so to be marked as not a virgin was a big deal and very hurtful to a woman

Deuteronomy 22:13–21 NKJV

13 “If any man takes a wife, and goes in to her, and detests her, 14 and charges her with shameful conduct, and brings a bad name on her, and says, ‘I took this woman, and when I came to her I found she was not a virgin,’ 15 then the father and mother of the young woman shall take and bring out the evidence of the young woman’s virginity to the elders of the city at the gate. 16 And the young woman’s father shall say to the elders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man as wife, and he detests her. 17 Now he has charged her with shameful conduct, saying, “I found your daughter was not a virgin,” and yet these are the evidences of my daughter’s virginity.’ And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. 18 Then the elders of that city shall take that man and punish him; 19 and they shall fine him one hundred shekels of silver and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought a bad name on a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his wife; he cannot divorce her all his days. 20 “But if the thing is true, and evidences of virginity are not found for the young woman, 21 then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done a disgraceful thing in Israel, to play the harlot in her father’s house. So you shall put away the evil from among you.

It makes me think of today and the culture today of Sex, our culture compared to the culture of then is so different and so evil

Sex is something that is between a husband and a wife and it is a sacred privilege that God uses in a marriage for many different things

back then it wasn’t just something to do, it wasn’t just another meal on a plate it was a beautiful way to express physical and emotional love with a spouse

It was taken seriously to the point of death

You guys prayerfully can read the word of God and take it seriously because when you mess something like this up, you cant get it back

to experience such a beautiful thing with a spouse should be takin seriously. If any of you ever get to a point in life where you do things outside of the will of God, you will look back when you are married and say to yourself, I wish i would have only experienced that with my wife or my Husband.

Of course Gods grace, Gods mercy is real and he will bless you but why not do things right the first time? why not protect yourself and guard yourself for that special someone that God has for you

don’t you think that if you honor God that he will bless you with an amazing spouse ?He will and it wont be shameful !

do it right the first time and you wont have to worry about doing it right the second or third time

One Man One woman

Matthew 19:4–6 NKJV

4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

marriage is a reflection of God, through His creation of Humanity, as Male and Female

God affirms this even more in 1st Corinthians

1 Corinthians 7:2 “2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”

1 Corinthians 6:18 “18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”

Hebrews 13:4 “4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

You see God created sex , therefore He has the right to tell us How to do it. and that is through Marriage

2 Samuel 13:13 “13 And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.””

2 Samuel 13:14 “14 However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.”

In verse 13 you can kind of see the desperation in Tamar, She probably knew that King David would never have given her over to her brother for marriage, it was against the Law

In some cultures specifically the Canaanite and Pagan cultures, having a relationship like this was somewhat normalized but most definitely not in the Nation of Israel

She was clearly trying to buy herself time, and reason with Amnon

but Amnon was dealing with Lust in His heart and poor Tamar was trying to reason with His lust

You cannot reason with Lust and passion when it is this far gone

and then HE rapes her , he forces himself on her being stronger than her and he has His way with her

2 Samuel 13:15 “15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!””

Now this is the direct result of Lust , Love and Lust are two completely different things

before this, Amnon described His feelings for Tamar as Love, after he has sex with her and he rapes her, it says that He hated her and that his hatred was greater than the so called love that he had for her

Love and Lust do not go together, Lust and Hatred go Hand in Hand

If Amnon was being Honest, he never truly loved Tamar, He loved himself to the point of raping her to satisfy the lust that was in his heart

If he truly loved her, when she put up a fight he would have stopped and maybe come to grips that what he was doing.

Love would have put her feelings above his lust, and he would have not gone through with his wicked plan

SO we can say that Amnon loved himself so much that he raped His own sister and gave into His Lust

Now this is complete opposite of what the bible says love is

Love according to 1st Corinthians 13 says this.

1 Corinthians 13:4–6 NKJV

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

Now this is crazy because in our time, we see these very two things Love and Lust mixed up a-lot

when we are in a worldly relationship its easy for a man or a boy to lust after a woman instead of Love a woman

women will use sex as a way to get love,and they will compromise because a guy is telling them that in order for them to receive love (WOMEN), they(men) need to sexually and physically feel Love through sex and sexual acts

that is false

Women, if i can tell you anything right now for your future, don’t give out sexual favors to feel love from a boyfriend, you are not experiencing true love, you are experiencing a person that is forcing you to do things sexually to satisfy their lust

If a man ever says: “if you really love me you will have sex with me, they are not a man and they are not actually loving you” they are trying to convince you to satisfy their Lust

Look at how this panned out with Amnon, He got what he wanted forcefully, and he actually hated her afterwords

Receiving sexual acts in the name of Love is not love, its Lust

and here is the other sad part to this, I lived in the world for many years and i experienced many of these very things we are talking about , but when a guy gets what he wants and if He doesn’t actually love the woman, you better believe he’s going to take off on you

Im not saying every guy is like this but thats why it is important to guard yourself against guys and even girls who have a problem with Lust

Women can Lust too, women can pretend to Love a man to get what they want as well, Ive seen it happen.

Lust affects men and women.

2 Samuel 13:16 “16 So she said to him, “No, indeed! This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me.” But he would not listen to her.”

2 Samuel 13:17 “17 Then he called his servant who attended him, and said, “Here! Put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her.””

2 Samuel 13:18 “18 Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king’s virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her.”

2 Samuel 13:19 “19 Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly.”

2 Samuel 13:20 “20 And Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart.” So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.”

2 Samuel 13:21 “21 But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry.”

2 Samuel 13:22 “22 And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.”

Okay so now poor Tamar is devastated because she has just been raped , and the sad part is, she may never be able to get married, at least that potentially what she could be thinking

Amnon Hates her, because His lust turned to Hate his so called love climaxed and then turned to anger and rage

Lust

This brings me to what I really want to focus on today and that Is Lust. We talk about lust all the time, we have heard it multiple times through out first and second Samuel, We’ve read about it In 1st Corinthians so i want to brake this down for us so we can understand the difference between Love and Lust

I know i’ve kind of already scratched the surface of what it is but id like to dive a little deeper so that many of you can develop good habits to abstain from a lust driven life

When it comes to Lust its important to know that a Pure thought life is possible, not perfect but possible

you see its Like King David and Bathsheba, He looked upon her , he longed for her , he inquired of Her, He imagined her and then he gave in to the lust in his heart

when we give in to lust , it becomes easier and easier to give in each time , and when we give in to lust, we are damaging our minds and our bodies physically

and after years and years of giving into this, what you don’t understand is the consequence that comes along after it

those things we do outside of the will of God, those people we get with, those pictures we look at all affect us later on in our life

Marriage doesn’t cure Lust, it actually makes it worst, and it makes it worst because when you are married you are satisfying your flesh over and over again but with a warped mind

so its important to be aware of the dangers of Lust

So to actually define lust there is a greek word that is used most often in the bible Epithumeo: and can be defined as “ to set the heart upon” , or “ sinful longing; the inward sin which leads to the falling away from God.

It can also be defined as the natures longing for any kind of sin, but it is most often associated with sexual Sin

Lust can be a longing for sin that has nothing to do with anything sexual

You can have a lust for partying

you can have a lust for wealth

you can have a lust for power

you can have a lust for food

you can develop a lust for almost anything and its a longing for what ever it is that you desire

Thats why its important to develop Love in your heart and not lust ‘

Jesus wants us to develop a deep passionate love for Him not lust

Lust starts in the heart and has the potential to develop into more than Just the mind

the mind is a dangerous Place, we can imagine what ever when ever we want

what ever we are longing for in our fantasy can consume us until we get it

Amnon was consumed by the lust in His heart because of the beauty of His own sister

I can imagine that His imagination was running wild up until the point of giving in

we have to protect our minds, the things we let in that create a lust in our heart and mind

Ill Leave you guys with this

Philippians 4:8 “8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”

Matthew 5:8 “8 Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God.”

Romans 12:2 “2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

James 3:17 “17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.”

Pray for a heart that Longs for Jesus , Not a lust for the world

Pray that God will develop in you a pure thought life

Remember what we let in, what we entertain can so easily develop into lust in the heart. Don’t allow it to happen, if you guys struggle with any Kind of Lust, Expose it to the Light , don’t let it consume you