Anger

What is Anger

I want to say thank you to everyone who could make it tonight, I know when you hear guest speaker, thats dangerous water to tip-toe into, especially according to Beau.

When Kevin asked me to speak, the phone call actually cut off before he could give me a time limit, so I wrote 2 hours worth, he then called back 5 minutes later and told me I couldn’t go over 30 minutes, so I had to cut a bit back.

Tonight we’ll be discussing anger, what it is, what can cause it, and how we can deal with it, if you all could flip to Ephesians 4:26–32

Ephesians 4:26–32 ESV

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

So my first question of the evening, and it’s a big one and will determine how we proceed, do you think anger is a sin?

If y’all would like to discuss it at your tables quickly you can do so…

(wait a moment)

So what’s our conclusion?

(take response)

Anger is actually not a sin in it’s own right, it is not necessarily sinful to be angry. What is sinful is how our anger is dealt with and released.

Anger, like greed, pride, or lust does not become a sin until it bears bad fruits. And they are a fine line to walk that can easily be tripped over.

You wouldn’t scold a brother for being proud of himself for graduating. You would scold a brother for thinking and acting like he is above everyone and nothing he does is wrong.

You wouldn’t scold a brother for desiring to make more money. You would scold a brother if he made money the center of his universe at the cost of all his relationships.

You wouldn’t scold a brother for thinking a woman is attractive. You could scold a brother for desiring her beyond reasonable means and in an inappropriate standard.

So like Pride, Greed, and Lust, Anger can be done right and wrong as well. But before we get into right and wrong forms of anger, what exactly is anger? Any guesses?

(take response)

So biblically there are two types of anger, there is the unholy kind of anger,

Does anyone want to take a jab at what they think unholy anger is? 

(take response)

Numbers 20:10–13 ESV

Then Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock, and he said to them, “Hear now, you rebels: shall we bring water for you out of this rock?” And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice, and water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their livestock. And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.” These are the waters of Meribah, where the people of Israel quarreled with the Lord, and through them he showed himself holy.

In Numbers, the Israelites kept complaining, and finally moses had enough and in his Anger disobeyed Gods command for him.

In our own modern day we can see that in how people act in their daily lives, we are instructed to Love our neighbor, yet some people if asked to help a brother or sister in Christ would get upset at the mere inconvenience, and question why God would make them have to do it.

Unholy Anger is that which is not Righteous, or Right in the eyes of the Lord. Unholy Anger is produced when we make ourselves God in our own pride and we decide what is Right and what is not Right, which i’d think almost all of us can agree is not the wisest of moves.

The other type of anger is called righteous indignation, anyone want to guess at that?

(take response)

We can look at the book of Micah, sadly we’re not going to read an exerpt from Micah, I was instructed if I went over 30 minutes Kevin would come and sweep my legs out from under me.

In the book of Micah, Israel has fallen into and idolatrous nature and has turned from God, they have give themselves up to their lusts, their greed, their pride, and have made everything but God their god. Because of this the Lord sends his prophet Micah to tell the people of Israel and Judah that he is going to destroy them.

This is Righteous Indignation, it is produced when we see injustice and feel the need to correct it, we have righteous indignation when we see wrong and move to correct it.

Righteous indignation is a good thing, but for us as men not God, it is a tightrope and we have to be careful because pride can creep in, and what was righteous can quickly become selfish and then just become unholy anger that you try to justify.

So here are the two types of anger that are referenced in the bible, and these are the two types of anger we will be reviewing, recognizing, and working at tonight.

There is only one thing that divides these to angers and that is an issue of Rights. What is right, and what you believe is right. One is true and Holy, and another is selfish and prideful. When we get angry because something is not right, then it is accounted righteous. When we get angry because we deem something as not right, it is accounted as unrighteous.

If there is one thing that you leave here tonight with, it’s that.

When you get angry, is it because it is Right, or because you are right? That is the important question and we’ll delve into it in our next section.

Some honorable mentions that are not anger, nor a sin are,

-Distaste

-Unhappiness

-Misery

These are actually only byproducts of anger, or of similar feelings to anger, not anger itself, and while they are not implicitly sinful, they still can lead into sin, so while tonight we won’t dwell too deep into those feelings(or the other unnamed ones) it is still important to recognize them for what they are,

So you don’t fall into conviction for something that is not Anger or a sin

2. So if you do feel these emotions you still do know they are dangerous and can lead to sin.

So continuing on we have Unholy Anger, and Righteous Indignation. We covered what they are, and why they can be dangerous and tempting.

They are both dangerous because as man at the end of the day, they can both lead to unholiness, and you will never be always 100% holy in your anger. So that leads to our next section, why is it we get angry?

Why we get Angry?

Why do we get angry? There are 4 root causes, would anyone like to attempt to guess them?

Anger: Facing the Fire Within What Are the Four Sources of Anger?

1.   Hurt: Your heart is wounded.

It’s important to understand what is causing your anger, ask yourself, why am I angry? But along with asking why you're angry, before you fall to your anger ask yourself, is my anger justified because it is right? Or because i’m right?

I said in the first section i’d get back to the battle of Rights. (Kind of sounds like a lawyer)

Why are you Hurt? Are you hurt because someone really did something wrong against you? Or are you hurt because you feel someone has done wrong by you?

Has an injustice been done against you? I don’t know, what were the terms of what was done against you? Was the wrongdoing done against you done because someone had something against you? Or was it a seeming injustice that just so happened to have happened against you.

(I want to say something about this, I personally battle with this one, and I know a lot of young men do as well as they’re coming up in the world. So I want to say, almost 99% of the time, nobody is standing behind the wall with a knife in their hand just waiting to stab you. The feeling of Injustice is bred from insecurity and overthinking, and those can’t just disappear overnight, but I do offer Matthew 6:25-34

Matthew 6:25–34 ESV

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

So if you are beginning to feel anger from Injustice be careful to analyze the whole situation first, and make sure it’s not just anxiety creeping in, because that’s a whole other issue to be addressed. And I genuinely ask if you have any questions about that to go to Beau.

You Fear? What are you fearing? Are you fearing for your own self preservation? Or are you fearing in consideration of the Lord?

What is Frustrating you? And better yet why? Is it worth being frustrated at? Does it benefit you to be frustrated? Does you being frustrated change anything?

We need to begin analyzing the Why, before we even begin to start considering to fix anything, because all that’s going to do is make us trim the weeds without hitting their roots.

We have to look at our anger at what makes us angry, it’s ok and natural to say there is more than one thing, we are made up of multiple aspects just like anger is made up of multiple aspects.

And that is an essential truth in recognizing anger, we need to stop making anger an exterior problem and recognize it as something that is a part of us.

Before we move onto How to deal with anger, I want to shortly talk about Pride, as Pride is the easiest sin to fall victim to, and it is the most commonly agreed upon to be the cause of anger.

(And i’m going off my notes for a second, this was added on last minute today.)

How to deal with anger?

If some of the older men would like to testify, and that includes you Kevin, anger is not something you solve or is something that goes away? Is it?

Anger is something though, that can be controlled.

With a show of hands, has anyone ever seen or been a part of a controlled burn to clear away dry fields?

In states like California and Arizona, this is a common practice. What firefighters and farmers will do is they will preemptively burn their fields and woods before wildfire season. By doing this, whenever a wildfire hits there is nothing left to feed the oncoming flame, so then their yields are protected, and the flame dissipates.

Anger is exactly like fire, it’s quick, hot, and consumes everything in front of it without care for what it burns. So much like the people of Arizona and California, we also must prepare for those fires by taking away their fuel.

I know i’ve asked a lot of questions tonight, but once again if you could as tables I have one more question for you all, what are some efficient ways to quickly deal with anger, and what are some ways to take away their fuel? Bonus points if you have any biblical backing behind it.

(take time for response)

My Personalized Plan

Believe that God can help me

—  I will trust God, knowing that He is in control of my life.

—  I will read God’s Word to find guidance on anger.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you” (Psalm 32:8).

Respond to upsetting situations appropriately

—  I will ask God for peace and wisdom to respond to difficult or unexpected situations.

—  I will take time to collect my thoughts before I respond.

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19).

Watch my words carefully

—  I will remember that God wants my words to be uplifting and encouraging.

—  I will guard my mouth when tempted to lash out in anger.

“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3).

Be accountable to God and others

—  I will write out my thoughts when I’m angry, telling God what I’m feeling about the situation.

—  I will seek the support of others and talk to friends or a counselor to help me deal with my anger.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed” (Ecclesiastes 4:9 nlt).

Give thanks in every situation

—  I will remember God’s blessings in my life.

—  I will write out a list of things I’m grateful for when I’m upset and thank God for them.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Forgive and seek forgiveness

—  I will ask those hurt by my anger for forgiveness.

—  I will forgive those who have angered me, remembering that God has forgiven me of all my sins and does not treat me with anger.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).

When we leave here tonight I implore you to look into anger, then look into your own anger, ask yourself “what causes my anger?”. Approach that, and give it to the Lord and ask him to work through you so you may work towards him. Are there any questions tonight before we pray?

 Hope for the Heart, Anger: Facing the Fire Within, Keys for Living Library: Thoughts and Emotions (Hope for the Heart, 2024), 55–58.