Unlawful Love

Sin is missing the mark

Sin means we are out of order and not just missing the bullseye but not even hitting the target!

Ordo amoris is a Catholic theological concept that translates to "order of love" or "order of charity". It's based on the teachings of St. Augustine and later Thomas Aquinas.  Augustine (Early Theologian; 354 to 430; bishop of Hippo in North Africa) believed that everyone and everything should be loved in its own proper way. He described the ordo amoris in City of God. 

Thomas Aquinas (1225 to 1274; Catholic Dominican friar) built on Augustine's ideas about love in his Summa Theologiae. He believed that disordered love leads to moral collapse, while ordered love directs people toward God. 

They emphasized Divine Love first, lawful human love, and not unlawful human love.

(We are to love the sinner, hate the sin. Knowing God paid for the sin to save the sinner.)

This Love is defined by Divine Ethics

Love, Ethics, and the Heart of God

Some Bible Passages: Genesis 1:26–27, Genesis 2:18–25, 1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Corinthians 7:2–5, Hebrews 13:4, Matthew 15:18–20, 1 Corinthians 6:9–10, Psalm 101:3, Psalm 139

Divine ethics provides the framework for love and relational integrity. It guides believers to align their actions and desires with God's heart for righteousness, mercy, and justice in every relationship. It emphasizes the sacredness of intimacy, purity, and the discipline of our bodies, thoughts, and actions. Scriptural understanding of divine ethics teaches us how to navigate issues of purity, temptation, and commitment with a stronger alignment to God’s design and purpose.

1. Created in God's Image - Image-Bearers

Genesis 1:26–27 “Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

Psalm 139:13–14 “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. 14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.”

As image-bearers we mirror God's like, righteous, and loving nature. He has called us to respect and honor one another in alignment with His divine ethics. We should mirror His love and holiness. The respect and honor begin with the creation of new life.

From the beginning God created man and woman and gave them life. This most precious gift. We are given the ability to make new life because we are given the life. Each child is precious and a vessel of God’s image. Each one is unique with not just a finger print that is its own but DNA and purpose.

Human life is sacred and created by God in His image. Human life is of inestimable worth in all its phases; including pre-born babies, the aged, the physically or mentally challenged, and every other stage or condition from conception through natural death. We are called to defend, protect, and value all human life. (Psalm 139:13)

2. Companionship by Divine Design - Two Genders

Genesis 1:26–27 “Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

Genesis 2:18–25 “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

God created two genders for a purpose. Male and Female. Rejecting one’s biological sex is a rejection of the image of God within. Even before we could understand modern biology our DNA was coded with XX or XY chromosomes. An immutable signature of who we are.

Husband and wife are created to compliment another. To complete each other.

We are part of a family that God has designed to foster a safe, nurturing environment for the perpetuation of mankind.

3. Commitment to Holiness - Guarding the Marriage Covenant

Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

1 Corinthians 7:2–5 “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

The creation of Eve highlights the familial nature of humanity. God's design for companionship and unity in marriage should prompt us to value trust, fidelity, and commitment towards one another. In Christ, we find the foundation and model for sacrificial love in the marriage., inviting us to reflect His heart in our relational ethics. God designed human relationships to overcome loneliness, foster unity, and fulfill divine purposes. Marriage is a covenant reflecting God's love, creativity, and unity.

Marriage has only one meaning. It is Biblical and derives from our Maker. It is the union of one man and one woman in an exclusive intimate union. Gen 2:18-25.

Civil society can call a union a marriage, but it must first match the original meaning to be godly.

4. Guarded by Integrity, Commitment, and Selflessness

1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”

Matthew 15:18–20 “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. 19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. 20 These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man.””

We cannot prevent the birds from flying over our heads, but we can prevent them from making their nests in our hair.

Martin Luther

Temptations will come. Life will throw many situations in our lives as stumblingblocks and offences to stop our Christian growth. We can’t control how the enemy attacks, but we can control how we respond.

Flee sexual immorality as an act of commitment to God's ethical standards. Honor marriage and relationships. Don’t allow another to steal your joy. Be steadfast.

Relationships need to reflect the purity of God’s love. We show the world this by guarding our hearts against defilement. These teachings reflect Jesus's emphasis on internal purity and integrity. By aligning our hearts with God's view of marriage and personal purity, we show Christ's transformative work within us, a testimony to God's kingdom ethics.

God intended that sexual intimacy only occur between a man and woman who are married to each other. 1 Cor 6:9-10, 7:2-5.

God has commanded that no intimate sexual activity be engaged in outside of a marriage between a man and a woman.

All forms of sexual immorality is sinful and offensive to God (including adultery, fornication, homosexual behavior, bisexual conduct, bestiality, incest, and use of pornography).

5. Integrity in Action - Cultivating Purity of Heart (Keep, Guard…)

1 Corinthians 6:9–10 “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.”

1 Kings 11:4 “For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David.”

Some practical things to keep in mind:

Keep your eyes pure Psalm 101:3 “I will set nothing wicked before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not cling to me.”

Cast down evil imaginations 2 Corinthians 10:5 “casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,”

Guard your heart Proverbs 4:23 “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.” Mt 15:19

Thought life pure Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”

Mind your business Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.”

Renew your mind daily Romans 12:2 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

Submit and Resist James 4:7 “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”

Sin means we are out of order and not just missing the bullseye but not even hitting the target!