Retaliation and the Power of Love

Good morning, church family!

It is great to sing with all of you

If you are new with us, my name is Stefan, I am the pastor of preaching here at Harvest

We are a church that takes God’s word very seriously as one of our core values as a church is that we are anchored on God’s word

So let’s open our Bibles to Matthew 5:38-48 as we continue in the Sermon on the Mount.

And anytime we come to the sermon on the mount, we need to remind ourselves what Jesus is doing

He is showing us what repentance looks like.

He is teaching us how to live as God’s people in God’s kingdom

And that is going to require us to repent of the ways we have lived that were contrary to God’s kingdom.

And to realign our lives with God’s way instead of the world’s way.

And few areas of life expose our need for repentance more than how we respond when someone wrongs us…

Illustration: The “Slug Bug” game

Here is what I learned from playing that game: Humans are terrible at seeking their own justice

When we think something is wrong, we don’t seek fairness, we seek vindication.

You wronged me, so I am going to respond in kind, and give you a little something extra

Cultural Examples:

We get cut off in traffic, we speed up, cut the guy off… and slow down!

“He’ll think twice before he does that again”

Someone takes credit for something you did at work, so you spread rumors about them to undermine their reputation

Your spouse says something out of frustration, so you treat them poorly for the rest of the week.

What comes naturally in those moments is that we seek revenge and retribution

Way of the world - “Get even - Make him pay - Make sure she thinks twice before she ever does that again”

We as a church family need to repent of that

We need to recognize that our way of handling moments like these is too often unjust

Instead when we are wronged, there is a way to respond that looks different from the rest of the world

And Jesus is going to show us what that looks like, to not respond with retaliation and not seek our own form of justice and revenge

But to respond in a way that reveals that we trust in and seek to honor God.

So we need to give these words in Matthew our full attention.

Matthew 5:38–48 ESV

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

These are God’s words for us as his people

Big Idea: Kingdom people must reflect God’s love. [7:00]

The way that we must engage those who wrong us is to reflect the love of God.

And that sounds counter-intuitive… because it is!

It is all too common for us to want to retaliate

Because that feels right - That comes naturally to us

But that is not the pattern that Jesus displayed

In 1 Peter 2, Peter describes how Jesus responded to wrongful treatment this way:

1 Peter 2:22–23 “He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth [He always did and said what was right, therefore if someone mistreated Jesus, they were in the wrong, not Jesus… yet] When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.”

And Peter tells his audience that they have been called to that same response, to follow that example of Christ.

When we follow Jesus by faith and live in his kingdom, our response to wrongdoing must be…

Reflect the love of God by doing good while trusting God’s perfect justice

The world will call us foolish

Jesus will call us faithful

So, as Gospel people living in the Kingdom of God, we must reflect the love of God.

[BRIDGE QUESTION] How do we reflect God’s love?

When the wrong happens to me, and the world says I should retaliate…

What do I do that will reflect God instead of following the pattern of the world?

And he is going to show us 3 ways that we reflect God as his children, when we are wronged.

Required Reflections:

God’s mercy through restraint (38-42) [11:00]

What is mercy - Not giving someone what they deserve

When someone wrongs us, it is easy to think, “What do they deserve now because of how they wronged me?”

We want to retaliate and get revenge.

But mercy says, “I am not going to give you what you deserve. I am going to restrain my desire to make you pay.”

Matthew 5:38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’”

Explain - Ex. 21 - You would lose whatever you made them lose

Meant to ensure that people didn’t overreach in trying to get revenge and retribution

It made sure that the punishment and the payment fit the offense

And didn’t go further, like we are so prone to do.

But in Jesus day people were using it to justify getting revenge for any wrong

“You insulted me so I get to insult you back”

“You took from me so I get to take from you now.”

“You mistreated me so I get to mistreat you.”

They were no longer using the law as a way to ensure justice

They were using the phrase to justify doing evil to each other

Because you did this evil thing to me, I now get to do it to you

Have you ever been there?

Treated one way by someone so now you feel justified in treating them the same way?

Someone says something harsh to you so you cut them back with your words?

Someone gossips about you so you spread gossip about them?

A co-worker does something unethical to get an advantage so you do the same thing to keep it fair

I’m sure we have all been there, because it comes so naturally.

But Jesus is going to confront us and show us how we need to be different

Now, I need to make sure we are all on the same page before we move forward:

What comes next - Jesus makes a statement and it is incredibly important

Then he follows up that statement with 4 examples.

Now, what typically happens is we blow past the statement and focus on the examples

But if we misunderstand the statement (as we far too often do), we will misapply the examples and we will completely miss the point Jesus is making

So I am going to show you the statement that Jesus makes

I am going to explain it

And then we will briefly look at the 4 examples he gives to see how his statement applies

Sound good?

Okay… Here is the statement he makes…

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’”

[And you’ve been using that to justify the way that you treat people…]

Matthew 5:39 “But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil.”

Now, because we tend to focus more on the examples that follow in v. 40-42, we then interpret this statement and face value

And we say things like:

Well, do not resist the one who is evil, so if you are in an abusive situation, you have to stay and let it keep happening

If you are being mistreated, you can’t say anything, because that would be resisting

And we counsel people to become doormats to get abused and hurt over and over and over again…

Let me say emphatically and as clearly as I can possibly say it - That is not what Jesus is saying here.

Jesus is not talking about letting abuse continue, he is talking about how to respond to what has already happened

v. 38 - “Eye for an eye”

“For” = in place of

It is a word the communicates that something is the same as another

For example, If you ask to break a $20, and I give you two $10’s, I give you $20 for $20

They are equivalent

Resist - Compound word that does mean resist or oppose, but its root word is the same word as for in v. 38

What does that mean?

This is a very specific type of resisting

Think of arm wrestling

You are using the same means To oppose one another

And it ultimately becomes a test of who is stronger

In the same way, when you and I resist evil with the same kind of evil, it just becomes a test of who will resist the strongest

When someone insults you and you insult in return, now we are just in a fight of who can say the most insulting thing

When someone and so you undermine them in return, it just becomes a fight of who can do the most destructive undermining

Jesus is saying, “Don’t resist with the equivalent thing that was done to you.

Show restraint - And in showing restraint, you reflect God’s mercy

Jesus now gives 4 examples of how this plays out

These are not exhaustive, but are meant to be examples of ways that evil is done to you and how to not respond in the same way

Matthew 5:39 “But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”

Often this is understood to be referring to someone causing you physical harm

In fact, some will reference this verse to say that you can never defend yourself if you are being attacked.

But that isn’t what Jesus is talking about - It isn’t actually about physical violence

Notice, Jesus specifies… The right cheek

And the majority of people are right handed

To strike someone on the right cheek with your right hand, you would have to backhand them

Which was a terribly degrading insult in this day

Jesus is saying, “If someone insults you, however you respond, don’t insult in return”

Instead, turn your other cheek, which would require then to strike you with an open hand

Which was how you would confront an equal.

So if someone treats you as lesser and insults you, stand your ground and show that you are an equal without lowering yourself to the level of their insults.

Next

Matthew 5:40 “And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.”

In this day, if someone owed you money, you were allowed to take their cloak, their outer layer, as a pledge

But Jesus uses an example of someone suing you and asking for your inner garment, your tunic.

Which is unheard of - This is another extreme image Jesus is using, this time to convey someone taking advantage of you

This person is exploiting the situation to take advantage of the person

And Jesus says that the response should not be to fight, but to give generously.

Next example

Matthew 5:41 “And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.”

In their day, Roman soldiers could grab you out of a crowd and make you carry their gear

But the Roman government understood that this could be abused, so the max you could make them carry it was one mile

And the Jews hated this.

You oppress us

You abuse us

You tax us

Then you make us carry your stuff?

And Jesus is saying, restrain yourself from bitterness and instead, serve willingly, going the extra mile

Fourth example

Matthew 5:42 “Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.”

Where the first three examples were people who would do things to you, the fourth example is something the other person can’t do

He can’t pay me back, so I’m not going to give him anything

Either he is poor and cant pay it back

Or he is trying to borrow and I know he wont pay it back

Jesus is saying, restrain yourself from acting like the world

Give the money anyways.

The point is: When you are wronged, the temptation is going to be to retaliate and respond with the same evil

You insult me, I insult you back

You take advantage of me, I get you back and undermine you

You oppress me or make my life difficult, I’ll be bitter and I’ll sabotage everything your are working toward

You can’t do anything for me - I won’t help you then

That’s the world’s way…

We must not do that

We don’t respond to evil with evil

We respond with mercy.

So think back over the last few weeks

To a situation where someone mistreated you

Wronged you

Hurt you

How have you been tempted to retaliate?

And what would it look like for you to show mercy through restraint rather than to retaliate?

The world says, “retaliate, get even - Make sure they pay”

Jesus says, “Retrain yourself from responding with the same evil - Show mercy”

Now, why would we do this?

Because it is how God has treated us

We deserved death for the evil we have done against God constantly

Yet, God showed us mercy while we were still enemies of God

He restrained his wrath from us, the wrath we deserved

And we, who are his people, reflect him when we do that same.

God’s goodness through grace (43-47)

If mercy is not giving someone what they deserve

Grace is giving someone what they don’t deserve

Mercy is, “I withhold the negative”

Grace is, “I offer something positive to you that you didn’t earn.”

We all know how to love people who love us back.

That comes naturally.

If someone is kind, respectful, and generous toward us, it’s easy to respond with kindness, respect, and generosity in return.

But what about the people who don’t love us?

The ones who are not kind

The ones who spread lies about you.

The ones who have hurt you deeply.

The ones who wish you harm and enjoy your failure.

What is the natural response?

We want to hold a grudge.

We want to see them fail.

We feel vindicated and justified when things go poorly for them.

So Jesus words in v. 43 actually make a lot of sense in that natural way of thinking

Matthew 5:43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’”

Now the first part of the is in your Bible—“Love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18)… But not that second part…

In Jesus’ day, the religious leaders misapplied certain Psalms that speak of hating evil and twisted them to justify personal hatred of people that they labeled as evil.

This thinking created an “us vs. them” mindset—love those inside your circle; hate those outside.

And it worth pausing and asking: Do you limit love to people who are easy to love? Do you have a view of those who don’t treat you well as being the enemy?

I think all of us are prone to that way of thinking

And jesus words are a helpful correction:

Matthew 5:44 “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,”

Those people who are against you and you would want to despise and would want to wish ill on… Love them

But He doesn’t just say, “Love them”—He tells us how to love them:

Pray for them.

When was the last time you prayed for someone who was doing evil to you?

And listen: praying for them to stop isn’t praying for them… That is praying for you.

That is praying that they stop treating you that way - Which is a totally legitimate prayer

Asking God to intercede is right and good

But what does It mean to pray for them?

Jesus uses God’s goodness as the pattern for how we should pray

Matthew 5:45 “…so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”

God is good to everyone on earth, even though no one deserves it

This is known as common grace - The grace that God shows to every living person, whether they believe in him or not.

He gives sun, rain, life, breath, health—even to those who reject Him.

The atheist who goes to the doctor and gets medical treatment is experiencing God’s common grace

The person who curses God and in the same day rejoices over the birth of a baby experiences God’s common grace

He gives blessing even to those who hate him

So, putting this all together, because God is good to all, even to his enemies, the way to reflect him is to pray for the good of those are against you.

We pray for their health, their work, their family

We pray for their kids

We pray for things that are happening in their lives

We pray for their hardships and ask God to show us how we can come alongside them and be good to them

We pray for them to come to a knowledge of God’s grace through our love toward them so that they could turn and find Jesus and be reconciled to God.

This is the essence of grace. It is showing favor to someone who does not deserve it.

And as we pray for those who wrong us, we reflect the goodness and love of God

And listen… it changes us too: It is impossible to pray for God to bless someone and hate them at the same time.

And as you change to show them grace, you reflect God’s goodness

So let me ask you point blank: Who do you need to start praying for? Who have you treated as an enemy?

Who are you in conflict with/have animosity toward/angry with?

Pray for them

And watch your heart be softened toward them

And watch them cease to be your enemy

Watch them transform into a person you care about and long to see be made right with God

Jesus calls us to not settle for the way the world relates to one another by asking two convicting questions:

v. 46 - First, If you only love those who love you, how are you any different from the world? Even the tax collectors do that

Tax collectors were traitors who sold out their own people to profit from the Roman government

If you only love people who love you, Jesus is saying, you are no better than literally the worst people of society.

Not the bar we want to hit.

Second question in v. 47 - If you only greet those inside your circle, what makes you distinct? Even pagans do that

No, Kingdom people are distinct - We love even those who don’t love us. We love those who think differently than us

Because we reflect God’s goodness through grace and in so doing, we reflect the love of God.

God’s character through maturity (48)

I think many of us tend to see our relationship with God as being primarily about salvation—as if once we place our faith in Jesus, we’re simply waiting for heaven.

We think, “Okay, God forgave my sins. I’m good. Now I can just go live my life.”

But salvation is not just about forgiveness—it’s about transformation.

Yes, when you trust in Christ, you are forgiven, justified, perfected in your position before God

But from that moment on, God begins a lifelong process of shaping you—making you more like Christ.

Salvation is the starting point, not the finish line.

Jesus makes this clear in Matthew 5:48 “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

This is how He closes this entire section of teaching. He’s been showing us what life in God’s kingdom looks like—how we respond to insults, oppression, enemies, and injustice.

And now, He sums it up with this command: Be perfect.

At first glance, this sounds impossible—“How can I be perfect like God? Isn’t that beyond my ability?”

Jesus is actually echoing a phrase God used in the Old Testament:

“You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

Holiness means set apart, distinct, unlike the world.

But Jesus changes the wording here—instead of “holy,” He says “perfect.”

What Does "Perfect" Mean?

The word translated “perfect” is a Greek word which means complete, whole, mature.

It’s the same word Paul uses in Colossians 1:28 when he says: “…that we may present everyone mature in Christ.”

And in James 1, James uses it to say that you may be complete, lacking in nothing”

It doesn’t mean sinless perfection—it means spiritual maturity.

So what Jesus is saying is: “Your love for others must be whole, complete, and mature—just as God’s love is.”

What does that look like?

God’s love is not just a part of Him—it is fully expressed in everything He does.

He does not love sometimes and not love at others

He isn’t inconsistent in his love

His love is not dependent on how people treat Him

He completely, wholly loves because He is love

God’s love is not circumstantial

God doesn’t just love us only when we are obedient.

He doesn’t withhold love when we rebel.

His love is always, fully present, fully complete

Jesus has just told us:

Love your enemies.

Pray for those who persecute you.

Show grace even to those who don’t deserve it.

Now He is saying: That is what God is like, so that is what you should be like.

And this should prompt us to consider: Is my love selective? or do I love consistently, regardless of circumstances?

Do I withhold mercy and grace from others because of how they treat me?

If so, that is a sign that my faith is immature

But I can know that I am maturing in my faith when I am consistent in how I treat people with mercy and grace, regardless of how they treat me

Then I am truly reflecting God’s love.

Because the love that I reflect is complete and mature, effecting every part of my life

And every interaction I have.

Just like the love of God

[CONCLUSION]

And this is possible when we understand God’s love as it relates to us, so I want to finish our time by turning to 1 John chapter 4

1 John 4:8–10 “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

God loved us first and he acted for our benefit, before we ever loved him.

And the sign that we belong to him, is that we love, even those who do not love us.

Why?

Because that is what God did

That is who God is

And we as his people, should reflect who he is by reflecting his love.

[COMMUNION]

Remembrance

Open communion

Don’t mock the cross

Conflict with God

Conflict with others

Ushers, flow, GLUTEN FREE