Battling Bitterness By Grace
Biblical Peacemaking • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Three-Step Conflict Resolution Model:
Step #1 – Please God
Step #2 – Repent
Step #3 – Love
A. Attitudes of Grace
B. Forgive
C. Confront
D. Serve
1. The Enormity of God’s Love Displayed in the Cross
1. The Enormity of God’s Love Displayed in the Cross
21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
21 Peter’s suggestion seems godly given the fact that the traditional teachings of the day recommended forgiving three times.
22 Jesus says seventy times seven or seventy-seven times depending on how you translate the original language. Now, before you start pulling out your calculator, the number suggests an unlimited amount given the number seven was the number of perfection. It is as Jesus is saying to forgive always. Jesus illustrates his point with a story.
23-25 Scholars tell us that ten thousand talents would range from twelve million to one billion dollars. So, clearly Jesus is meaning to exaggerate to show that this man owed a debt that he could never hope to pay.
26-27 The man did all he could do – beg for mercy. The merciful king showed mercy and declared the man forgiven of all of his debt.
28-30 One denarius would be about a day’s wage. If we take someone with a low annual wage of $18,000, then one hundred denarii would be $6,000 – a large amount but far less than the multi-million dollar debt. The man pleaded for mercy with the same exact words the first servant had pleaded with, yet the first servant showed no mercy.
31-34 We find ourselves greatly disturbed by what the forgiven servant did and so were some eyewitnesses who went and told the king. The king brings the man back in and throws him in prison for not showing the same mercy that had been extended to him.
35 Jesus makes his point clear: “he who has been forgiven a major debt should forgive others from their hearts.”
People can mistreat us in enormously evil and horrific ways.
The only salvation from bitterness in the midst of this sinful world is understanding our multi-million dollar debt we owed God for not loving him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength and not loving our neighbors as ourselves.
Yet, by the work of Jesus in the cross and resurrection – he made our record clean.
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
19 He will again have compassion on us;
he will tread our iniquities underfoot.
You will cast all our sins
into the depths of the sea.
18 “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool.
Only understanding this will give us the ability as seeing other’s sin against us as $6,000 sins while our sin against God was multi-million dollar sin.
2. Our Desperate Need for God’s Forgiveness
2. Our Desperate Need for God’s Forgiveness
25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
12 and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Jesus states that somehow God’s forgiveness of us is contingent on our forgiveness of others.
This does not lead us to believe that we must forgive in order to be forgiven by God.
That would be forgiveness by works. Yet, faith without works is dead.
Can we really have faith in God’s forgiveness of us without being willing to forgive others?
We should be as serious about forgiveness as God is.
Receiving forgiveness and forgiving others go hand in hand.
3. Our Ultimate Need for God’s Mercy
3. Our Ultimate Need for God’s Mercy
On the final day of judgment, do you want to face God with mercy or without mercy?
13 For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
Mercy marks the godly.
8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?
36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
4. God’s Role and Ours
4. God’s Role and Ours
When we remain bitter against someone, we assume the role of judge and avenger.
We assess the evidence against someone and declare them guilty.
12 There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?
Bitter people try to assume the throne of the one Lawgiver and Judge.
19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
It is not just that we do not take revenge.
We trust that God will do justice in his time and his way.
When we think about the story of Joseph in Genesis 50, his brothers feared that he would take revenge on them as soon as their father died.
19 But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? 20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.
Joseph understood God and his sovereignty.
Joseph could extend grace because he knew God was in control of his life.
9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.
10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God;
5. The Dual Nature of the Offender’s Sin
5. The Dual Nature of the Offender’s Sin
People who sin against us are not only rebels and lawbreakers, they are also deceived and enslaved.
Rebels and lawbreakers
10 as it is written:
“None is righteous, no, not one;
11 no one understands;
no one seeks for God.
12 All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
no one does good,
not even one.”
4 Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness.
Deceived and Enslaved
34 Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.
19 They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption. For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved.
22 The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,
and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
34 And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments.
8 None of the rulers of this age understood this, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
6. Our Own Fallibility
6. Our Own Fallibility
As sinners, we too are capable of the same sins, and the same root sins may already reside in us.
9 The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?
12 Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. 13 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
18 Pride goes before destruction,
and a haughty spirit before a fall.
12 Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.
An English Reformation pastor and martyr, John Bradford saw from his prison cell a criminal being led to execution for his crimes. He said, “There but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford.”
