Tolbert Wedding

Order of Service

1. Procession

Saige (Officiant)

Before we begin, the Bride and Groom want me to ask that you please keep your phones away during the ceremony as there is a professional taking photos and there will be a time for you to take your own photos! Thank you.

Trent

Terrance

Jordan

Irving (Best-man)

Lauren

Candace

Kayla

Deztanee (Maid of Honor)

2. Bridal March

Please stand for the bride.

Jenna walks out with Wayne.

3. Presentation of the Bride

Who gives this woman in marriage?

Wayne: “I do.”

4. Welcome/Introduction

The bride and groom would like to give everyone a moment to take personal pictures. After this time they ask you keep your phones away For the rest of the ceremony.

Now, on behalf of the bride and groom, welcome and thank you for coming to one of the most important days of their lives. We are gathered before our Creator to witness the coming together of Trent and Jenna.

My wife and I have known Jenna for quite some time actually. Jenna and I were friends in middle school. She was one of those students who was really smart, but always cutting up. In her cutting up, Jenna was really fun to be around. She always has been, in fact!

She attended my old church every now and then and at a retreat to NC she gave her life to Christ.

Trent I only met more recently, but from the first time I met him I was thankful for his welcoming personality and his kind demeanor. But when Trent and I met, he did not know his Creator. And so, when we began premarital counseling, it was my goal to press him with the good news of Jesus Christ. What I found was while Trent did not know his Creator, he was ready to know him. We had several very good conversations, and I am grateful to God that in spite of me, Trent, in the middle of the night last week, gave his life to Jesus Christ.

See, Trent and Jenna wanted to have a Gospel-centered, bible-filled wedding. All of our premarital counseling sessions were filled with talk about the Lord and Scripture and who God is because ultimately, their marriage’s foundation must be their Creator. If their marriage is founded on anything but the Lord, it will not do them good. But I am grateful for the Lord’s work in Jenna and Trent’s life and I know that these two will strive to keep these biblical, Gospel principles in their marriage for their family.

It has been such a joy to counsel you two for both Dez and I and I look forward to continuing to meet with yall in the future.

5. Charge

Before we continue, though, I would love to give a charge to each of you. When I say charge, you can think of it as a challenge. I will start with Trent.

Trent, I charge you, in sight of our God and before these many witnesses, to mind your walk with Christ as a man. It does directly affect your marriage. There will be temptations to be completely independent as you lead your family throughout your lives, but no man of God can be independent. If you live and lead independent of the Lord, you will not love your wife like Christ loves the church as Scripture commands you. You will not wash her with the Word, aiding in her sanctification, like Christ sanctifies the church, as Scripture commands you. You will only be a hinderance to her growth closer to Christ. This cannot be. If you are to lead Jenna and your children, you must be led by Christ.

As now an infant of a Christian, you have much challenges ahead of you in this. There is much that you are growing towards, but just know that you are no longer doing this alone. For the Lord Jesus is with you. He is guiding you, but you still must depend on him. Lead your family to be in the church. Lead them to know the Lord more deeply.

Yes, your calling as Jenna’s husband is to protect and provide; however, this does not end with the physical protection and provision. Rather, this protecting and providing begins with the spiritual. Trent, you must protect your family, and yourself, from sin and evil. Provide for your family spiritual guidance. Lead them to know the One leading you in a more intimate way. Look what the Apostle Peter says in 1 Peter 3:7.

1 Peter 3:7 CSB

Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

This is a warning to you as a husband—if you choose to not love and honor your wife, as one who is receiving the same inheritance of Jesus Christ as you are at the same level, then your prayers will not be heard.

Keeping all of that in mind, keep in mind also this: there is grace from Christ in your failures. You are already living in this sweet grace. You of all people, as a new believer, should feel that grace now in your life more than ever as in putting your faith in Jesus Christ, your sins have been forgiven. You are no longer condemned for your evil. You are saved. Praise God. And you won’t be condemned for your sins in marriage. Strive for holiness leaning on Christ, but when you fall, fall on Christ. He will raise you back up and give you strength to press on.

Jenna, I charge you, in the sight of our God and before many witnesses, to mind your walk with Christ as a woman. It does directly affect your marriage. You, too, cannot live independent of your Lord Jesus. If you live independent of the Lord in your marriage, you will not submit to nor respect your husband as the Scripture commands. You will fight his leadership. You will tear him down. You will show him no grace in his failures. You will be of no help to your family. You, as a wife, need to be led by Christ.

Yes, as a wife, your calling is to submit to your husband and to respect him; however, this does not mean you have nothing do to. In fact, Jenna as as the one who has been trying to walk with Christ longer, this is especially true for you.

Let’s go back to 1 Peter and see what Peter says to wives in verse 1:

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 3

In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live 2 when they observe your pure, reverent lives.

You, too, are called to holiness and purity. You are called to live guided by Christ and the commands of His Word so that no matter whether your husband is pursuing Christ or not, he can always see Christ in you.

And, lastly, I charge you both in your marriage two things:

First, let one another be the primary recipients of the fruit of the Spirit that Paul gives us in Galatians 5:22-23. See, as Christians you have God’s Spirit in you and because God’s Spirit resides in you, you now can display these fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22–23 CSB

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things.

No one should feel these more than your spouse. Trent, Jenna should be the one whom you love, show joy, fight for peace, display kindness and goodness, live with in faithfulness, show gentleness, and display self-control to. And Jenna, the same goes with you towards Trent.

Now second charge: I charge you both to let your home be a place filled with the Gospel and God’s Word. Listen to what Moses commanded the Israelites in Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Deuteronomy 6:4–9 CSB

“Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.

Let God’s Word be what fills the space between you. Your home must be a place where God’s Word is not foreign, but a constant conversation. A perpetual, until death, discussion. Put it on your walls and write it on your foreheads.

One more charge and this is to the witnesses here. There is a reason you all are called witnesses. You have the glorious opportunity to see Gospel on display in their wedding and then to see God’s Work on display in Jenna and Trent for the rest of their lives.

My charge to you all is that you push them to the Lord, especially my fellow Christians. This is not a judgmental, condescending shoving, but a loving, gentle, come alongside prodding.

Be there for them. Point them to Jesus. Love them.

6. Consent

Now that you have received my charges to you. I have two questions to ask you both. If you agree to these two questions, please respond with “I do.”

Trent, do you before God your Creator take Jenna to be your wife?

Do you pledge to love her, forsaking all others, as Christ loves the church, through all the good and bad until your dying day?

Jenna, do you before God your Creator take Trent to be your husband?

Do you pledge to love him, forsaking all others, as Christ loves the church, through all the good and bad until your dying day?

7. Presentation of Biblical Marriage

Before we move to the end of this beautiful ceremony, I must now talk to you, witnesses one more time. I must, as a minister of the Gospel, share with you the truth of the Gospel seen in marriage. See, marriage is at the center of the Gospel.

Ephesians 5:22–33 CSB

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.

What Paul is doing here is preaching commands to wives and husbands while simultaneously weaving the Gospel through theses commands. See, the reason I told Trent to love and honor Jenna, and the reason I told Jenna to submit to and respect Trent is because it is commanded in Scripture and marriage is to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church.

I do not stand here by my own authority. I don’t command these things out of my own opinion. All that I am saying is from our God, the Creator of Marriage who gave the guidelines for marriage. As Christians, we do believe objective truth. And that means that what He speaks, through His Word, is true whether we like it or not. That’s how truth works!

The church consists of followers of Christ. It is all the true Christian believers past, present, and future. The church is the bride of Christ. And Jesus Christ, out of a holy, perfect love for His bride gave of Himself completely for the church. This great act of Christ dying a criminal’s death on the cross and then physically resurrecting on the third day enables us to be made right with God. See the church does consist of believers but that does not exclude you if you do not know Jesus, your Creator, right now. Instead, this gift of eternal life, being adopted into the family of God, is available for free to you right now.

Ultimately, we, without Christ, are at odds with our Creator. We are rebels and enemies of God Almighty. But Jesus Christ, having lived a perfect life, changes this. Now, rather than trying to do enough good to get into Heaven, we can just admit that we cannot do enough good to get into Heaven. We are too sinful. So instead of working our fingers to the bone to be good, we can put our faith in Jesus Christ, who was truly perfect and righteous. And then you, a sinful man or woman, will be clothed in the righteousness of Christ. You will be washed in the Word of God, made Holy and Blameless for your Creator.

This is how Trent and Jenna are going to strive to love one another: by standing on this gospel that I just preached to you. If you want to know more about it, I implore you to come talk to me after this. I’d love to share more and help you see how to respond.

8. Vows

Now we will be moving into the vows. Trent and Jenna desired to pull their vows from Scripture; specifically the book of Ruth. These vows come from Ruth 1:16-17. A young woman named Ruth lost her husband and rather than abandoning her mother-in-law Naomi who was also a widow, Ruth gives a beautiful vow attaching herself to her mother-in-law. And so, I will begin with Trent. Simply repeat after me.

“I, Trent, take you, Jenna, to be my wife, | wherever you go I will go, | wherever you live, I will live; | your people will be my people, | and your God my God. | Where you die, I will die, | and there I will be buried. | May the Lord punish me, and do so severely | if anything but death separates you and I.”

“I, Jenna, take you, Trent, to be my husband, | wherever you go I will go, | wherever you live, I will live; | your people will be my people, | and your God my God. | Where you die, I will die, | and there I will be buried. | May the Lord punish me, and do so severely | if anything but death separates you and I.”

9. Exchanging of Rings

Deztanee and Irving, you can now present the rings and Jenna and Trent can put them on one another.

10. Pronouncement

As Trent and Jenna have formed this covenant before God and before all of us this day and have pledged their faith to one another, and displayed this through the giving and receiving of rings, I pronounce them husband and wife. In the words of Jesus our Lord, “What God has joined together, let no one separate.”

11. Kiss

Trent, you may now kiss your bride.

12. Introduction of Mr. And Mrs. Tolbert

It is my privilege to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Tolbert

13. Recession

Will the immediate family and grandparents please stay here for photos and everyone else go upstairs and enjoy some refreshments! The bridal party will serve dinner after their photos. Thank you!