The Power of Reconciliation

Story of Reconciliation with Joe Avila

Joe Avila never new how much a sign like this could haunt him. September 18, 1992. Joe made the tragic decision to get in his car under the influence of alcohol, and while driving down the freeway, Joe struck and killed Amy Wall, a 17 year old girl who was on her way home from a concert her dad had gotten her tickets for. A young life gone in an instant because of an awful awful decision. Joe fled the scene out of fear and was later booked in the Fresno County Jail for second-degree murder. In the days that followed, Joe was so distraught over what he had done that all he could think about was taking his own life. But God had other plans for him.

Joe entered a six-month sobriety program with the Salvation Army, and it was there that Joe was surrounded by people that started to talk to him about reconciliation and forgiveness. His heart was so moved that just before Easter of 1993, he entered the courthouse and changed his plea to “guilty”. Joe was sentenced to the maximum prison sentence of 12 years. Joe made the most of his time in prison, caring for the prison’s hospice patients, staying connected with his daughters through Prison Fellowship Angel Tree, and even serving in the chapel sharing the gospel with his fellow prisoners. In prison, Joe experienced the freedom of forgiveness and reconciliation between him and God, but he stilled carried the weight of what he had done to the family of Amy Wall.

This all changed shortly after his release from prison when Joe’s mentor called him, letting him know that Amy father Rick Wall wanted to meet with him. Joe was terrified leading up to it, but at that meeting, something unexpected happened. While Joe was filled with brokenness and apologizing over and over, Rick said to Joe that their family has been following his journey of transformation in prison and that they approved of what he was doing. Joe was shocked. He couldn’t believe that was their response. The Wall family started to pour into Joe, restoring their relationship with him. This reached it’s culmination when Joe and Amy’s father Rick were invited to participate in a Restorative Justice Council event in front of hundreds of people. At the event, Amy’s father walked up to Joe, gave him a big hug, and said, “I love you, Joe,” a moment that will stick with him forever. In the words of Joe Avila, “I killed his daughter, and he was able to give me a hug and say, ‘I love you.’ That’s not just forgiveness. That is the miracle of reconciliation - reconciliation that neither Joe nor Amy’s father Rick could have ever imagined.

Where We’ve Been This Series

In our series The Freedom of Forgiveness, we’ve been diving deep into the transformative power of forgiveness. We’ve asked: What is forgiveness? What isn’t it? What does it mean to be forgiven by God and, in turn, to forgive others? Last week, we tackled the difficult question of how to forgive the unforgivable. You might think we've covered all there is to know about forgiveness, but the truth is, we’ve only scratched the surface. Forgiveness is crucial—Jesus Himself commands us to forgive others to the same extent we’ve been forgiven. Sounds simple, right? But as we’ve seen throughout this series, Jesus gives this command because forgiveness always leads to freedom. God’s forgiveness liberates us from guilt and shame, and our forgiveness of others frees us from bitterness and anger. As difficult as forgiveness can be, it always leads to freedom. But here’s the thing: forgiveness is not the end goal—it’s the doorway. Beyond forgiveness lies something even deeper, more radical, and potentially one of the most powerful witnesses we can offer the world in Jesus’ name: reconciliation. Sadly, reconciliation is often neglected in the Christian life, even though it’s not just an optional side teaching of Jesus—it is the very heart of the gospel. Today, we’re going to explore the meaning of reconciliation, the power through reconciliation, and the model for reconciliation.

The Meaning of Reconciliation

First, the meaning of reconciliation. In order to understand reconciliation, we have to see how it is different from forgiveness because the two often get confused. You see, forgiveness is a one-sided act. It is intentionally releasing the right to seek vengeance against someone for what they have done, and here’s the key: Forgiveness is something you are called to do whether the person deserves it or not. Forgive as Jesus forgives. But while forgiveness is an act that focuses on the offense, reconciliation is a journey that focuses on the relationship. Reconciliation is the pursuit of healing and restoring a relationship in which the relationship has been damaged. To bring the relationship back to the place that it was before.

Now, this difference is critical to realize—because you can forgive someone fully, releasing all vengeance against them, and yet the relationship may still not return to what it once was. Trust may still be shattered. There may still be a long road of healing, grief, and growth before any kind of restoration is even possible. Forgiveness is a one-sided mandate—something you offer because Christ has first forgiven you. But reconciliation is a two-sided ideal. It requires both people humbly and honestly working to rebuild the trust that was broken. And because of that, while your heart as a follower of Jesus is always oriented toward reconciliation, the reality is that in some situations—because of unrepentance, ongoing harm, or broken boundaries—full reconciliation may not be possible this side of heaven. Forgiveness is given, but reconciliation must be mutually pursued. But while reconciliation may not always be attainable, we are called to always pursue it. Why? Because of the incredible power through reconciliation.

The Power through Reconciliation

Our Gospel reading for today was two short verses from Jesus’ lengthy Sermon on the Mount. And I encourage you if you haven’t before, read through the sermon in its entirety. The things Jesus says in this sermon are to show you and me the life that we were created to live in as human beings. And it’s here that Jesus speaks these radical words around reconciliation by saying,

Matthew 5:23–24 NLT

“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.

Now not being in their culture, I think we miss the humor in what is said here. Imagine a first-century Jew traveling multiple days to the Temple courtyard, purchasing a sacrificial animal along the way, and just as they were arriving, remembering someone that they had wronged. Then, they suddenly leave the live animal in the courtyard, travel three days back to where they lived, seek reconciliation with this brother or sister, and then travel the three days back to Jerusalem, find the live animal that they left there, and then finally enter to worship. Think how crazy that is! Some of you know exactly what it’s like traveling with a live animal to church, it’s called your toddler who throws a meltdown over the wrong color cup, insists on wearing their pajamas to church, and by the time you finally arrive, has mysterious stains on their clothes from snacks you didn’t even pack.

But as extreme as the logistics behind all of this seems, it actually isn’t the most radical part of what Jesus is saying here. No, the most striking thing about what Jesus is saying is that, in the life of His followers, reconciliation takes precedence over worship. Let me say that again. According to Jesus, reconciliation with others is the most important thing. And just to get your mind thinking about who Jesus is calling you to reconcile with, these two verses come right after Him saying,

Matthew 5:21–22 NLT

“You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.

Who is God calling you to seek reconciliation with? Who fills your heart with anger? Who in the last week have you spoken poorly of? Or maybe even cursed at them out loud or in your heart out of frustration. We all have someone like that. Who comes to mind? What if that is the person the Holy Spirit is nudging you to pursue this journey of reconciliation with? It’s not easy, right? Scripture never says reconciliation is easy. No it is incredibly hard. This is why some translations call it “the ministry of reconciliation.” It is a journey of humility. A journey of sacrifice. And yet, a journey that takes you straight into the very heart of what the gospel is.

The Model for Reconciliation

You see, reconciliation is not something we can do. Nothing within your human heart wants this, but everything in the heart of Jesus does. 2 Corinthians 5 says,

2 Corinthians 5:17–19 NLT

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.

This is amazing to think about. Jesus did not just forgive your everything you’ve done wrong, but He also reconciled your relationship with God to where you aren’t just forgiven. You are beloved. You are his child. He took what was your - sin, death, wrath - and gave you what was His - grace, life, peace with God.

And now, in that new reality, He has given us a mission:

2 Corinthians 5:20–21 NLT

So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.

We are Christ’s ambassadors in this world, which means the world will get its picture of Christ through how we treat one another and those around us. Imagine the kind of witness we would have if we were known for radically pursuing reconciliation. What if instead of ignoring a brother or sister that we have a hurt relationship with, we saw it as a glaring red flag that demanded our immediate attention—so urgent, even, that we’d prioritize it over coming to worship? What would the world see in that? You know what they would see? Jesus. Joe Avila found Jesus through radical reconciliation, and God is making His appeal through you as well.

While Jesus might not be calling you to get up from your seat mid-service and go reconcile with someone—though, honestly, I wouldn't object to that—maybe He is nudging you to take a small step right now. Perhaps it’s pulling out your phone and sending that person a text saying, 'Hey, can we meet this week? I’ve got something important to talk about.' That simple action could be the first step on your journey of reconciliation. Let the Holy Spirit guide you in this moment. If you're feeling led, don’t wait—send that text now. I’m going to pray, and I encourage you to listen to where God is leading you.