Romans 14:13-23

Imagine you’re at school. And your teacher announces that there’s going to be a school trip to the London Zoo and you’re all going.

And then, one of your mates who is afraid of animals says they don’t want to go. And your teacher says “Either all of you go or no one goes.”

If you’re honest, how would your class react to your mate who doesn’t want to go?

That’s the temptation, right? To pass judgement. To exclude people and to drive them away.

Because, deep down, what matters to our world is what I want. And if I want to go on a school trip to the Zoo and Bob is scared to go, then too bad for Bob. He can just stay home, do whatever he wants. What matters is that I want to go to the Zoo.

But guys, it can’t be like that at church. At Pathfinders. It can’t be like that with people who follow Jesus.

That’s what brings us to our passage. Let’s read it.

Romans 14:13–23 NIV

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval. Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall. So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

Can someone read verse 3? What was the topic that was causing division in the Roman church?

How about verse 5? Can someone read? What was the topic?

So, for some people, eating certain foods - like pork, if they were from a Jewish background - was a problem. They were raised not to eat pork and if someone was to eat pork in front of them, it might affect their faith.

For others, thinking that some days - like the Sabbath - were more special than others was a problem. I’m in church with people from a Jewish background and they keep telling me the Sabbath is really important and that, if I don’t do what they say, I’m not a real Christian. Are they right? Am I a real Christian?

Now, if this happened in the classroom we mentioned at the start, what do you think people would do in a situation like this?

I’ll eat whatever I want! Who cares if Bob doesn’t like pork?

Hey, I think the Sabbath is really special and, if Bob doesn’t think it is, then he’s wrong. Is he even a Christian?

Again, it’s easy to just do whatever we want. And to judge and exclude those who are not on board.

But Paul says - verse 13 - don’t judge other Christians. Instead, we have to love each other and look out for each other.

Because, Paul says, that if we judge other Christians or if we do things that aren’t wrong but that make them uncomfortable, we are - verse 15 - destroying people.

Not that we’re killing them. But we’re killing their faith. We’re driving them away from Jesus.

Imagine this situation.

Derek and I are watching a movie. And it’s a movie where the characters use a lot of swear words.

Now, for Derek, that’s not a problem. It doesn’t affect him. It’s not going to make him want to use those swear words.

But me - I grew up surrounded by people who used those words. We used to joke that, one of my friends, for each 5 words he said, 10 were swear words! And hey, I used those words a lot myself!

So, if I’m watching a movie with lots of swear words, that’s making me remember all of that. In fact, it might tempt me to use those words again!

And so, I tell Derek “Hey, all these swear words are affecting me. Can we stop watching this movie?”

Derek has two options.

Option 1: “No, it’s okay. Let’s keep watching. Don’t let these things bother you!”

Option 2: “Yeah, I can see this is affecting you. I’ll finish watching it later by myself. Let’s do something else instead.”

Option 1 is all about what Derek wants. That’s what the world would tell Derek to do. “Follow your heart! Do your thing!”

But option 2 is all about Derek loving me. He has seen that I’m weaker than him.

Now, being weaker doesn’t mean “believing in Jesus less” or “being a worse follower of Jesus”.

It just means that somethings affect us in ways that don’t affect other Christians.

For example, at the Weekend Away, I didn’t go on the Giant Swing. Because I’m afraid of heights.

And some people were saying “Wow, you’re missing out. Wow, you’re such a chicken.”

And okay, I know you’re just teasing me. And it’s not like I’m going to stop trusting in Jesus because people called me a chicken.

But guys, you need to understand this: that’s the opposite of what Paul wants us to do.

Instead, Paul wants us to love each other to the point where we stop doing something WE’RE enjoying for the sake of others.

The problem is: we really don’t like doing that. Why do you think that is?

That’s right, it’s not always going to feel great.

Maybe in the example I gave between me and Derek, he might be a bit sad because he was really enjoying the movie and now he has to wait to finish it.

But look at verses 18-19. Someone read that for us. What is the ultimate reward that Derek receives for giving up something he enjoyed for my sake?

God gives a big thumbs up to Derek! He’ll say “Well done, that was the right thing to do.”

Then, I’ll say to Derek “Thanks a lot, you really are a great friend!”

Which means, verse 19, we won’t get mad at each other. We will have peace and become even better friends!

Because now Derek knows I struggle with things like this so, next time he might invite me to watch a different kind of movie!

Like Paul says in verse 21…

Romans 14:21 NIV

It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.

At the end of the day, the most important thing at church and even at Pathfinders is not you individually. Church and Pathfinders aren’t about what Rui wants to do. Or what Derek likes.

It’s about the group. It’s about everyone hearing about Jesus, trusting in Him and following Him. And if what we’re doing is getting in the way of others doing that. If, for example, what we do at Pathfinders makes people not want to come anymore, then we need to stop.

Even if it’s not a wrong thing. But we have to stop because we’re called to love each other and to look out for each other. Even if that means stopping something we enjoy.

And let me end with this: if you’re ever in a situation like me watching that movie with Derek, if whatever you’re doing or eating or drinking - whatever it is - if that’s affecting you and making you uncomfortable, you should stop.

If you ever have to ask yourself “Is it okay to do this as a Christian?”, then don’t even do whatever the “this” is. Or stop it right away.

The temptation is to just go with the crowd, do whatever everyone else does. Or to try to get over what’s making us uncomfortable.

But guys, it’s okay to say “No” and to not participate. You’re not less of a Christian. You’re not less faithful.

You just struggle with certain things that other people enjoy! And that’s okay.

And, in fact, you saying “No” actually makes you a stronger Christian! Because it shows that you know what affects you and you don’t want your trust in Jesus to be affected. That is called being a wise Christian.

So, don’t be afraid of saying “No”.

Let’s pray.