You Shall Not Covet (Part 2)

Introduction

English Standard Version Chapter 20

17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”

English Standard Version Chapter 13

5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

English Standard Version Chapter 6

6 But godliness with contentment is great gain, 7 for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. 8 But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

This week we’re wrapping up our series on the 10 commandments with our second look at the 10th commandment, “You shall not covet.” After this week we will have spent 25 weeks examining the 10 commandments, and I hope that this time has been as eye-opening and helpful as the preparation for these sermons has been for me.

While it’s vitally important for the Christian to recognize the nature and scope of the moral law (which I’ve labored to show over the last 20 sermons), it’s also essential to understand how to employ it, or how it’s intended to be applied in the Christian life, to recognize the perpetuity of the moral law under both the old and new covenants, and the importance of how to distinguish the moral law from the judicial and ceremonial laws of the old covenant. So, if you weren’t here for those first four introductory sermons on the law of God I encourage you to head over to our website to listen to them, because it’s essential that we rightly understand the purpose and function of the law under the new covenant, and to recognize which parts of the law, which were revealed under the old covenant, still apply to us today.

Well, in our last time, as we’ve done with the commandments before this one, my goal was to highlight the fundamental nature and scope o the 10th commandment, and to this end we described covetousness in two ways, either 1) to desire the wrong things, or 2) to desire good things in a wrong way. The first category, to desire the wrong things, is descriptive of those things that are simply forbidden or illicit.

For example, the 10th commandment here in Exodus 20:17 articulates this clearly when it says, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house… your neighbor’s wife… your neighbor’s male servant… your neighbor’s female servant… your neighbor’s ox… your neighbor’s donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s. In other words, it’s wrong to desire for yourself what isn’t yours, to desire the wrong things. This also includes other desires that are disordered or misused, a desire for wrong things, such as pornography, fornication, adultery, homosexuality, bestiality, etc.

The second category, to desire good things in a wrong way, describes how we’re prone to make a god out of our desires. For example, while there’s nothing inherently evil about money, the love of money is evil. This is why the Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 6:10,

1 Timothy 6:10 ESV

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

In other words, it’s evil to make a god out of money or your possessions, as the rich younger ruler had done in Matthew 19, and as a result it prevented him from following Jesus. Or how the Apostle Paul put it in Colossians 3:5 writing simply that covetousness is idolatry. To covet is to make a god out of your desires, and we do this not only with illicit or forbidden desires, be we do this even with our good desires.

Lastly, I pointed out that coveting is the mother of all sin, that every other kind of sin comes riding on the back of coveting. We desire and do not have, and so we lie, steal, and murder. If we lived in a world without coveting, violations of all of the other commandments would immediately cease. That it’s ultimately because of covetousness that we lock our doors at night, that it’s because of covetousness that it’s not safe to leave our children alone at the park to play, that it’s because of covetousness that we have to use passwords or keep keys in our jacket pocket.

Covetousness

In light of this, my aim this morning is to focus on the application of the 10th commandment, or more specifically, what’s forbidden by the 10th commandment and what’s commanded by the 10th commandment. As we’ve seen throughout our study of the commandments, there are two sides to each of them, first, what’s forbidden, and second, what’s commanded. In fact, it’s usually when we examine the both sides of the commandment that we’re able to more clearly perceive our own sin. So, that’s my goal this morning, to apply the 10th commandment by fleshing out its implications.

Now, let’s begin by answering the question posed by the Westminster Larger Catechism, “What are the sins forbidden in the tenth commandment.” The catechism goes on to answer, “The sins forbidden in the tenth commandment are, discontentment with our own estate, envying, and grieving at the good of our neighbor, together with all inordinate motions and affections to any thing that is his.”

Discontentment

Notice what the catechism says lies at the root of coveting, discontentment. That discontentment drives covetousness. In other words, what is it that drives you to covet your neighbor’s wife, or your neighbor’s property, or anything that is your neighbor’s? Discontentment. Discontentment is a state of dissatisfaction with your circumstances or possessions. It involves feeling that something is lacking or unfair.

This can be clearly seen when we say to ourselves things like, “I wish our house was as nice as our neighbor’s down the street,” or “I wish my wife looked like her,” or “I wish my husband was that smart,” or “I wish my husband helped around the house like he does,” or “I wish my kids were more like their kids,” or “I wish I looked like her,” or “All of our friends get to travel off the island every year, I wish we could.” Comments or complaints like these are almost a sure sign of coveting.

Desire to improve your condition

Now, this doesn’t mean it’s necessarily wrong to want to improve your condition in life. It isn’t necessarily covetous to want to have your own property, to desire a promotion, to want to expand your business, to want a home with more space, or to want to improve the overall condition of your life. The tenth commandment isn’t intended to forbid your desire to improve or change your condition, so long as you use lawful means to do so. The key difference, which we’ll look at more closely later, is whether or not you’re content. If you’re unable to improve the condition of your life, to buy that bigger home, or to get that promotion, to travel on vacation, will you be content with your circumstances? If instead catastrophe strikes, you lose your job, you don’t get that raise, your business goes bankrupt will you be content? Will you be content if you do get that raise, or do get that property, or do go on that vacation? Will you be content? Or will it not ever be enough? Will you only be happy if you get exactly what you want?

Sulking

Now, determining whether our motivations are rooted in discontentment or covetousness can be difficult, therefore I want you to consider with me several signs or symptoms of coveting. The first is sulking. Sulking refers to a mood of silent resentment or displeasure, it’s acting in a quiet ill-tempered manner as a result of not getting what you want or having your way. This is most clearly evident in children with a pouting or frowning face, intended to voice their displeasure or resentment without a word.

We actually see an example of this in 1 Kings 21 when King Ahab of Samaria offered Naboth, a Jezreelite, money for his vineyard. Now, Naboth’s vineyard was beside Ahab’s palace, and Ahab wanted to buy it from him to plant a vegetable garden, but, despite offering Naboth a fair price, Naboth refused the offer. Then we’re told in 1 Kings 21:4 that, as a result,

1 Kings 21:4 ESV

... Ahab went into his house vexed and sullen because of what Naboth the Jezreelite had said to him, for he had said, “I will not give you the inheritance of my fathers.” And he lay down on his bed and turned away his face and would eat no food.

So, what does Ahab do when he doesn’t get what he wants? He sulks, he lays down on his bed, turns his face, and refuses to eat. He goes into his bedroom and pouts. Then when his wife, Jezebel, finds out what has happened she devises a way to have Naboth put to death and steals his vineyard for her husband Ahab.

Now, this example, should serve to show us just how ugly and dangerous sulking or pouting is, it’s not cute, nor should it be indulged. One of the dangers of being a parent is the temptation to think that your children’s sinful behaviors are cute, or to coddle or indulge them. So, as parents, especially mothers we must be sober-minded concerning our children’s sin. That pouty lip might seem cute on the surface, or to you, but behind it is a heart of covetousness. And children will quickly learn to employ tactics like sulking or pouting to manipulate their parents to get whatever they want, but your job as a parent is to discipline this kind of behavior, not to coddle or indulge it, lest you train your children to be little king Ahabs.

Now, we know that sulking isn’t unique to children, it’s just that their sulking isn’t as sophisticated as an adult’s. For example, how many of you pout by giving your spouse or family the silent treatment? How many of you become emotionally withdrawn when you don’t get what you want? This is especially dangerous between a husband and a wife, where one spouse wants to punish the other by becoming emotionally cold toward them. How many of you have become passive-aggressive as a result of not getting what you want? You start giving backhanded compliments, become sarcastic, or subtly refuse to cooperate. Or you give half-hearted responses, when someone asks you, “How was your weekend?” you reply, “It was fine, I guess.” And, like children, we do this to manipulate others to get what we want, or at the very least make them feel bad for us not getting whatever it is we want. Sulking is sure sign of covetousness.

Temper Tantrums

A second symptom of coveting is throwing a temper tantrum. Throwing a temper tantrum is a sure sign of covetousness. A temper tantrum is an emotional outburst that typically involves crying, yelling, stomping, or other outbursts of wrath. In other words, I’ll sin to get it and I’ll sin if I don’t get it. Now, I’m sure all of us, whether we’re parents or not, have witnessed a child throwing a tempter tantrum, whether in our own homes, while we’re at the grocery store, or dining at a restaurant. And like sulking, parents should take temper tantrums very seriously, our children must know that we have zero tolerance for throwing a fit in our homes, otherwise throwing a fit will become a manipulation tactic to get what they want. Temper tantrums must be disciplined.

Parents have often asked me how to discipline their children in circumstances like these, and the answer is that your disciplinary measures must be severe enough to discourage the behavior. This of course is not a license to abuse our children, but we must understand that the consequence must be severe enough to effectively restrain their behavior. Our discipline must communicate to our children that the consequences for throwing a temper tantrum aren’t worth it. Our discipline must be done with the intent to teach our children that covetous is a serious matter that shouldn’t be taken lightly. As Proverbs 22:15 puts it, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” Our discipline should never be intended to destroy or harm our children, but to drive the folly bound up within their heart far from them.

Now, the consequences of parents failing to restrain their children will inevitably result in their children exhibiting increasingly dangerous forms of temper tantrums as adults. Behaviors that many of us are probably more familiar with than we’d like to admit. We were recently traveling through Seattle, Washington and had just gotten off the plane and were waiting at the carousel in baggage claim for our luggage. We ended up waiting something like an hour to get our bags due to a problem with the luggage carousel, but after about 15 minutes one of the passengers from our flight began to yell at the personnel who were working on fixing the carousel. They constantly berated them for taking so long to deliver their bags, even though it was clearly evident that they were actively working to get the carousel started again. This passenger repeatedly lobbed insults at them and demanded that they get compensation and free airline miles. Their behavior visibly bothered the passengers surrounding the carousel, but no one said a word. This passenger was throwing a temper tantrum, and it was all I could do to restrain myself from dragging that man out of the terminal by his ear.

More extreme forms of tempter tantrums which include rioting and vandalism are also usually fueled by coveting. It’s that idea that I’ll sin to get it, and I’ll sin if I don’t get it, that if I can’t have what you have I’ll damage or destroy what you have. Which, again, is clearly portrayed by children when one child breaks their sibling’s toy out of spite, as the result of envy, the idea that if I have it then you can’t have it either.

Similarly, how often are we inclined to throw things, slam a door, or yell at someone over the phone when we don’t get what we want or don’t get our way, when someone has inconvenienced us or been unwilling to give us what we want? Throwing a temper tantrum is sure sign of covetousness.

Entitlement

A third symptom of coveting is entitlement. Coveting is usually prompted when your neighbor has more than you, or something different than you. We ask ourselves, “Why did they get that?” This is especially evident with children at Christmas or when they’re at a friend’s birthday party, when the children see their sibling or friend receiving a gift when they don’t, or receiving a gift that’s different or bigger than theirs. And what do our children usually say when they either don’t get what they want, or their sibling gets something they don’t have? “That’s not fair!”

Now, parents, if you ever hear your children utter those words, don’t fall for it, this is a sure sign or symptom of coveting, don’t indulge their covetous hearts by giving them a gift after someone else’s birthday party, or by attempting to appease their envy toward their sibling by giving them something else. The best thing you can do for your children is to use those moments to teach them about coveting, that they must not envy their neighbor or his possessions, and that they’re not entitled to what their neighbor has. Don’t try to appease their desire to have their neighbor’s gift, but instruct them to be content and grateful for what they have, and grateful for what their neighbor has been given.

You are not owed what your neighbor has, and we must recognize that this type of reasoning is covetous, and therefore dangerous. We must realize that coveting loves to fly under the guise of fairness. In fact, this is why the various forms of socialism and communism are so dangerous, because they’re simply covetousness applied to public policy. Socialist and communist systems are motivated or driven by covetousness, they become a means of taking your neighbors possessions under the guise of fairness. These systems are built upon entitlement. You see, the reason these forms of government are often so popular is because they appeal to our sinful desire to want what our neighbor has. And the truth is, over the last 40 years or more we’ve raised a generation of very entitled children who are becoming adults, and as a result they’re increasingly advocating for policies that are fundamentally founded upon covetousness, flying under the guise of fairness and equity.

And entitlement manifests itself in all sorts of ways in our daily lives. If you’re a parent, do you believe that your children are entitled to certain things or opportunities? For example, we live on an island with limited opportunities compared to what you might find in a metropolis or a bigger city, such as gymnastics, ice hockey, martial arts, dance studios, theatre programs, various clubs and groups, etc. Do you think your children are entitled to a certain kind of clothing, an expensive phone, a gaming console, a nice car, an allowance, etc.? Now, I’m not to say that we can’t desire many of these things for our children, but are you discontent without them? Do you feel entitled to them?

As for yourself, do you believe you’re entitled to the latest smart phone, the latest gadget, certain clothing, certain opportunities? Do you think it’s unfair if someone else gets an opportunity that you didn’t, even if they worked for it? Do you think you deserve recognition or praise even when you haven’t put in the effort? Are you offended when someone doesn’t invite you to a particular event or birthday party? Do you think you’re entitled to go on vacation to certain places are certain times of the year? Because entitlement is sure sign of covetousness.

Ungratefulness

A fourth common symptom of covetousness is ungratefulness. A surefire way to detect covetousness is whether you find yourself grateful or not in your circumstances or for what you have. Covetous people are never grateful people, because they’re never content with their circumstances or with what they have. They’re always discontent or dissatisfied, and as a result are always ungrateful. In fact, children have to be taught to be grateful, they have to be taught to say thank you, it doesn’t come naturally, because we all possess a sin nature, a fundamental inclination toward sin, we have to be taught righteousness, we have to be taught to not to covet. And as I’ve already pointed out, this is essential for parents to recognize when they raise their children, because parents are the primary agents charged with restraining their children’s sinful nature and instructing them in righteousness, otherwise they will become a menace to society.

One easy way to detect ungratefulness is complaining. Complaining about what you have because your neighbor got something better or different than you. You might find yourself unhappy with your job after hearing that your friend received a promotion or raise. You might find yourself unhappy with your apartment after your friend buys their first house. You might find yourself ungrateful for your home if it’s not quite what you wanted. You might find yourself ungrateful for a gift because it wasn’t what you wanted or if it doesn’t meet your standards. I remember one Christmas growing up, after opening all of my presents, thinking, “Is that all?” What an ungrateful, covetous thought. A friend of mine described how one of their siblings would deliberately make their mother feel bad for the gifts they had received, in order to guilt her into buying them something else. How often have you sat down with your children for dinner, and all they can do is criticize the meal that someone else prepared and ask for something else to eat. Oh, how selfish and ungrateful we can be. Ungratefulness is sure sign of covetousness.

Now, these are just four common symptoms of coveting, but there are many more. I could go on and on, but I hope you can see the ubiquitous nature of coveting, how it’s the driving force behind every other sin in your life. That covetousness lies at the root of those other sins.

Contentment

Now, if discontentment lies are the heart of coveting, and is forbidden by the 10th commandment, what do you suppose the 10th commandment demands of us? If it forbids discontentment, then what do you think it commands? The 10th commandment, put positively, commands us to be content. And if discontentment is a state of dissatisfaction, then contentment is state of satisfaction. The Westminster Larger Catechism Commentary puts it like this, “Contentment … means [a] willingness to accept that condition in which God’s providence has placed us, without murmuring or complaining, or being envious at the blessings or prosperity of others.”

Now, here’s what you need to understand, contentment is not contingent upon your circumstances or the abundance of your possessions. In other words, contentment is not attained by acquiring wealth or possessions, nor is it dependent upon certain favorable circumstances. Contentment is only found when we trust in the providence and promises of God. Here’s what I mean, turn with me to Hebrews 13:5, and I want you to notice how the writer of Hebrews connects contentment with one of God’s promises. We read this,

English Standard Version Chapter 13

5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be

Notice how the writer connects contentment with the promise, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” What he’s saying is that contentment is founded upon the promise that God will never leave you nor forsake you, that he will take care you. In other words, contentment is not tied to how much money you can earn, how many possessions you can accumulate, or to the unpredictable circumstances of this life, but contentment is tied to the the unshakable, all sufficient, good, loving, and wise God who has promised never to leave you or forsake you.

You see, the reason you can’t find lasting satisfaction in wealth or your circumstances is because they’re insufficient to provide it. This is why there is no end to coveting, this is why coveting is never satisfied, and that whatever it wants is never enough. You will only ever find lasting satisfaction in God himself, because God is the only one sufficient to provide it. Therefore, we’re commanded to be content with what he have, knowing that God will never leave us nor forsake us.

You see, knowing that God will never leave you nor forsake you enables you to be content in all circumstances, it enables you to be content whether you have plenty or whether you’re in need, because you know that you will not be abandoned. Which is precisely what the Apostle Paul told the church in Philippians 4:11-13, listen to what he says,

Philippians 4:11–13 ESV

... for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Now, that last verse is often plastered all over the place, and its meaning is regularly ripped out context. Many think that through Christ you have an unlimited ability or power, or that you can accomplish anything if you just set your mind to it, but this isn’t what Paul’s saying at all. Instead, Paul is saying that he has ability to face all circumstances because it is Christ who strengthens him. That the secret to contentment, to facing plenty and huger, abundance and need, is trusting in the all-sufficient God who strengthens him.

Then listen to what he says later about contentment in 1 Timothy 6:6-10

1 Timothy 6:6–10 ESV

But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

You see, we’re tempted to think that pursuing riches is of great gain, whereas Paul tells Timothy that it’s godliness with contentment that’s great gain. And to illustrate his point Paul highlights the fleeting nature of riches, writing, “for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.” Therefore, we should learn to be content with food and clothing.

Conclusion

So, as we wrap up our study of the 10 commandments, let us not merely turn away from covetousness, but turn to the unshakable promise of God, “that I will never leave you nor forsake you.” And remember that contentment is only found when we trust in the providence and promises of God. That whether in plenty or in need, we can find contentment in God.

Prayer