Its a Family Thing

2 Samuel 3 CSB

1 During the long war between the house of Saul and the house of David, David was growing stronger and the house of Saul was becoming weaker.

We ended last week with this verse so we will start this week with it as a reminder.

This is not a conflict between to opposing nations but basically a civil war between two families - dividing Israel.

David is the God chose king of Israel so it stands to reason that his power and kingdom would grow in strength where as the house of Saul, the one who rebelled and disobyed God would be losing its influence.

Sometimes when God is taking us toward something He moves us in increments (and sometimes they seem to take forever).

2 Samuel 3 CSB

2 Sons were born to David in Hebron: His firstborn was Amnon (am-nohn), by Ahinoam (akh-ee-no-am) the Jezreelite; 3 his second was Chileab (kil-awb), by Abigail, the widow of Nabal the Carmelite; the third was Absalom (ab-ee-shaw-lome), son of Maacah (mah-ak-aw) the daughter of King Talmai (tal-mah-ee) of Geshur (ghesh-oor); 4 the fourth was Adonijah (ad-o-nee-yaw), son of Haggith (khag-gheeth); the fifth was Shephatiah (shef-at-yaw), son of Abital (ab-ee-tal); 5 the sixth was Ithream (yith-reg-awm), by David’s wife Eglah (eg-law). These were born to David in Hebron.

The author is fulfilling two purposes in the section. 1. He is giving the lineage of David (the Jews loved genealogy) and 2. He is showing that David remained faithful to the Torah mandate to “be fruitful and multiply”.

David fathered children through 6 different wives.

The Torah implicitly permitted kings to poses more than one wife but not “too many” Deuteronomy 17:17 - 17 He must not acquire many wives for himself so that his heart won’t go astray. He must not acquire very large amounts of silver and gold for himself.

Though it appears David was considered in compliance with the Torah the biblical ideal seems to be that of one wife (God gave Adam one wife, the NT speaks often about being the husband of one wife, the symbolism of God and Israel (now the church) as the bride and bridegroom also indicates a single wife).

Even though God allowed somethings like multiple wives it seems to have been for a purpose - the diversity of David’s wives suggest that he was deliberately using marriages for political, as well as familial, reasons. - he was in fact skillfully consolidating his power base.

2 wives were from Judah which could help with regional support - Maacha (mah-ak-aw) was from east of the Jordan which would double the number of potential threats to Ish-Bosheth’s territorial claims.

The genealogical list also serves to delineate the line of dynastic succession.

2 Samuel 3 CSB

6 During the war between the house of Saul and the house of David, Abner kept acquiring more power in the house of Saul. 7 Now Saul had a concubine whose name was Rizpah (rits-paw) daughter of Aiah (ah-yaw), and Ish-bosheth questioned Abner, “Why did you sleep with my father’s concubine?” 8 Abner was very angry about Ish-bosheth’s accusation. “Am I a dog’s head who belongs to Judah?” he asked. “All this time I’ve been loyal to the family of your father Saul, to his brothers, and to his friends and haven’t betrayed you to David, but now you accuse me of wrongdoing with this woman! 9 May God punish Abner and do so severely if I don’t do for David what the Lord swore to him: 10 to transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul and establish the throne of David over Israel and Judah from Dan to Beer-sheba.” 11 Ish-bosheth did not dare respond to Abner because he was afraid of him.

The real power behind Ish-bosheth was his father’s cousin, Abner.

Abner may have seen Ish-bostheth as one he could manipulate and control which would make Abner the de facto ruler over Israel

Abner kept acquiring power, it seem, for himself which could be implied that he was about to make a move against his nephew.

Whether he was or not, Ish-bosheth believed he was and set out to prove it - the accusation seems strange, “why did you sleep with my father’s concubine?’

There is more to the accusation however, if Abner had actually had relations with the concubine it would have meant that he was exercising a privilege reserved for the king… in Ish- bosheth’s mind the next step would have been for Abner to claim the throne based on the claim of the concubine…

There is a lot of scheming, distrust, and paranoia in royal houses because no one wanted to wait for power, they wanted to take it.

The Bible never confirms that Abner had sexual relations with Rizpah (rits-paw) only that Ish-bosheth accused him of it.

Well the accusation did not sit well with Abner - he got angry about it. Abner was offended to be accused of such a betrayal even citing his loyalty to the family.

This could be a case of “me thinks he doth protest too much” and Abner is guilty or he could be telling the truth and has done nothing wrong.

If in fact Abner was telling the truth then Ish-bosheth leveling an unfounded accusation would suggest he possessed the same tendency to misperceive reality that his father had.

Saul had accused his most loyal soldier, David, of treason which was untrue and now if untrue Ish-bosheth has now done the same thing - like father like son huh.

The difference now - Abner now realizing the son was exhibiting his father’s insane tendencies made a vow to not only refuse to help continue the Saulide regime but he would not actively assist David in fulfilling what Abner admits God has sworn to do - establish David as king over all of Israel.

The encounter scared the weak king and not another word was said against Abner which possibly reinforced Abner’s determination to put a truly fit king on Israel’s throne.

Sometimes we thing we are doing the right thing for the right reasons (like helping continue the line of Saul) but and encounter forces us to change.

2 Samuel 3 CSB

12 Abner sent messengers as his representatives to say to David, “Whose land is it? Make your covenant with me, and you can be certain I am on your side to turn all Israel over to you.” 13 David replied, “Good, I will make a covenant with you. However, there’s one thing I require of you: You will not see my face unless you first bring Saul’s daughter Michal when you come to see me.” 14 Then David sent messengers to say to Ish-bosheth son of Saul, “Give me back my wife Michal (me-kawl). I was engaged to her for the price of a hundred Philistine foreskins.” 15 So Ish-bosheth sent someone to take her away from her husband, Paltiel (pal-tee-ale) son of Laish (lah-yish). 16 Her husband followed her, weeping all the way to Bahurim (bakh-oo-reem). Abner said to him, “Go back.” So he went back. 17 Abner conferred with the elders of Israel: “In the past you wanted David to be king over you. 18 Now take action, because the Lord has spoken concerning David: ‘Through my servant David I will save my people Israel from the power of the Philistines and the power of all Israel’s enemies.’ ” 19 Abner also informed the Benjaminites and went to Hebron to inform David about all that was agreed on by Israel and the whole house of Benjamin. 20 When Abner and twenty men came to David at Hebron, David held a banquet for him and his men. 21 Abner said to David, “Let me now go and I will gather all Israel to my lord the king. They will make a covenant with you, and you will reign over all you desire.” So David dismissed Abner, and he went in peace.

Abner wasted no time carrying out his oath.

The undertaking would not be easy and had to be carried out with considerable diplomacy.

Abner had led military campaigns against David and even killed a close relative so he did not approach David directly - he sent messengers.

Abner told David to make a covenant with him and he would side with David and help him to become king of all Israel.

David like the idea of a covenant but he had one stipulation - give him back his wife Michal (me-kawl).

While the scripture does not specifically say it here we can assume that David is following the Lord’s instruction in these matters based on his previous actions when a decision needed to be made.

The request for his wife was very shrewd because it would reestablish the marital link between David and the house of Saul thus legitimizing his claim of being qualified to rule over territories once ruled by Saul.

After coordinating with Abner, David sent word to Ish-Bosheth demanding Michal (me-kawl) be returned to him because she is his rightful wife even reminding him he “paid the price of 100 Philistine foreskins”

The Torah prohibits men from taking back wives they had previously divorced (Deut 24.1-4) and remarried - at the same time David has consistently been portrayed as a man who follows the Torah so what gives…

It is reasonable to assume David considers himself legally married to Michal (me-kawl) - since he never divorced Michal her relationship with Paltiel (pal-tee-ale) was technically an adulterous one.

David’s demand to have her returned amounted to an act designed to restore a state of righteousness in the land.

Ish-Bosheth who is portrayed as weak and passive does not resist David’s demand - it is possible he recognized the sinfulness of his father’s actions in separation them in the first place.

On one hand I feel bad for Paltiel (pal-tee-ale) on the other, he had to know it was wrong and shouldn’t have gone along with Saul in the first place.

Still, the dude was devastated - he followed them all the way to the border between Judah and Benjamin, crying the whole time.

Abner came - I’m guessing Abner didn’t have the gift of mercy - just told him to go home… so he did.

Abner’s activities to help David take a significant turn when he conferred with the elders.

The elders possessed less authority than the king in a monarchical governmental structure, they were probably more esteemed and influential within their respective tribes than the king. After all, it was the tribal elders who had demanded the creation of an Israelite monarchy in the first place and support of David would guarantee his recognition as king throughout Israel.

Playing on their anxieties regarding the Philistines and other foreign threats, Abner tactfully nudged the power brokers to (re)consider anointing David as their king.

Abner also let the Benjaminites in on what he was doing but he did this in person.

Abner’s actions must have been successful because he went to Hebron to tell David everything.

David treated Abner and his men not as enemies but as honored guests at the royal residence and prepared a feast for them.

Abner asked David if he could go and call an all-Israelite assembly so the nation could make a covenant with David.

David wholeheartedly approved of the plan…

2 Samuel 3 CSB

22 Just then David’s soldiers and Joab returned from a raid and brought a large amount of plundered goods with them. Abner was not with David in Hebron because David had dismissed him, and he had gone in peace. 23 When Joab and his whole army arrived, Joab was informed, “Abner son of Ner came to see the king, the king dismissed him, and he went in peace.” 24 Joab went to the king and said, “What have you done? Look here, Abner came to you. Why did you dismiss him? Now he’s getting away. 25 You know that Abner son of Ner came to deceive you and to find out about your military activities and everything you’re doing.” 26 Then Joab left David and sent messengers after Abner. They brought him back from the well of Sirah, but David was unaware of it. 27 When Abner returned to Hebron, Joab pulled him aside to the middle of the city gate, as if to speak to him privately, and there Joab stabbed him in the stomach. So Abner died in revenge for the death of Asahel, Joab’s brother.

It wasn’t long after Abner left that Joab returned from a raid bringing a large amount of plunder.

Someone came and told Joab about David’s meeting with Abner and Joab was none to thrilled about it - Abner was Joab’s most hated enemy especially because of Abner’s role in Asahel’s (as-aw-ale) death.

Joab immediately went to David and questioned his actions with Abner.

Joab’s contention is that Abner could not be trusted and that he was only there to learn military secrets.

The whole of their interaction is not recorded here but if David explained himself it is clear Joab did not agree with him.

Joab sent men after Abner and they caught up to him a couple of miles away from Hebron - it is likely they concocted a story that David wanted to speak to him again but we are not sure but whatever it was Abner returned to Hebron.

Abner proceeded under the belief that he was protected by a truce so he was unaware of what was about to happen .

The author makes it clear that David had no idea of Joab’s plan.[

Joab was waiting a the city gate and when Abner arrived he stepped out and took him aside - 2 things to consider: 1. Abner had a peace agreement with the king so Joab’s actions would have been in direct opposition of the king and 2. Hebron was a city of refuge, a place where those accused of murder are allowed to go until murder is proven so they can escape vengeance.

The Torah strictly prohibits vengeful violence Numbers 35:24-25 - 24 the assembly is to judge between the person who kills someone and the avenger of blood according to these ordinances. 25 The assembly is to protect the one who kills someone from the avenger of blood. Then the assembly will return him to the city of refuge he fled to, and he must live there until the death of the high priest who was anointed with the holy oil.

Asahel’s (as-aw-ale) death was part of a military conflict and in reality it was his own stubbornness that caused it - if he had halted his pursuit of Abner once Abner fled the battle field or after Abner warned him twice to stop pursing him then Asahel (as-aw-ale) would still be alive - not to mention, Abner even tried to us non-lethal force to stop him but a freak accident happened.

Joab’s actions were unwarranted and a flagrant violation of God’s law… it was murder, plain and simple.

Joab may have felt justified in his actions but his actions would have consequences and those consequences would be fully in-line with Torah.

2 Samuel 3 CSB

28 David heard about it later and said, “I and my kingdom are forever innocent before the Lord concerning the blood of Abner son of Ner. 29 May it hang over Joab’s head and his father’s whole family, and may the house of Joab never be without someone who has a discharge or a skin disease, or a man who can only work a spindle, or someone who falls by the sword or starves.” 30 Joab and his brother Abishai killed Abner because he had put their brother Asahel to death in the battle at Gibeon.

As king David was obligated to uphold Torah guidelines.

Even though Joab was a close relative, David had to act - he did so by distancing himself as well as the kingdom for Joab.

David also pronounced a curse on Joab - a curse in several forms… first someone will have a skin disease like leprosy, someone who falls on the sword or lack food…

There is one other curse… some translations say “a man who can only work a spindle” - but some scholars say this should be rejected in favor of the NIV’s option. While male effeminacy—implicit in the word “spindle” (an implement used in that society by women)—would certainly be viewed as a curse, it is not mentioned as one in the Torah; however, loss of physical health is explicitly mentioned.

Apparently Joab was not alone in this act, his brother Abishai (ab-ee-shah-ee) helped in some way.

The way the author words verse 30 is telling - “killed Abner because he had put their brother Asahel (as-aw - ale) to death”. Their rationalization is that Abner murdered their brother but that was not the truth of what happened.

2 Samuel 3 CSB

31 David then ordered Joab and all the people who were with him, “Tear your clothes, put on sackcloth, and mourn over Abner.” And King David walked behind the coffin. 32 When they buried Abner in Hebron, the king wept aloud at Abner’s tomb. All the people wept, 33 and the king sang a lament for Abner: Should Abner die as a fool dies? 34 Your hands were not bound, your feet not placed in bronze shackles. You fell like one who falls victim to criminals. And all the people wept over him even more. 35 Then they came to urge David to eat food while it was still day, but David took an oath: “May God punish me and do so severely if I taste bread or anything else before sunset!” 36 All the people took note of this, and it pleased them. In fact, everything the king did pleased them. 37 On that day all the troops and all Israel were convinced that the king had no part in the killing of Abner son of Ner. 38 Then the king said to his soldiers, “You must know that a great leader has fallen in Israel today. 39 As for me, even though I am the anointed king, I have little power today. These men, the sons of Zeruiah, are too fierce for me. May the Lord repay the evildoer according to his evil!”

David ordered all the people who had something to do with the murder of Abner to adopt a posture of mourning a grieve the act.

David has been traumatized by the shocking turn of events that day. It began with bright promise for national unity and peace, yet it ended with the threat of deepening national division and conflict - it began with the cementing of a friendship but ended with the burying of a friend.

David played the most memorable role in Abner’s funeral - he walked directly behind he coffin in the procession - he also wept aloud which was an undignified but deeply touching for of conduct for a king.

David composed and sang a lament for Abner in which he highlights the heinous circumstances of Abner’s death even vilifying his killers.

An oath was also taken to fast until sundown.

The people noticed Davids reaction to the events and they were pleased. If you behave in a authentic and humble manner while honoring God, people will notice.

The end result is that the people who may not yet have accepted him as their king were reassured the David would not commence a bloody purge of those who had resisted his claim over all Israel. The punishment would be in the hands of the Lord to enact.