Scribbles: 1 Sam. 25
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The best of men, are men at best.
James warns that the servant of God is to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. David becomes the antithesis. David repays evil with evil. This man has returned evil for good.
In chapter 24, David talks about peace, peace, peace. In chapter 25, David is sword, sword, sword. How can he move so quickly like this?
This is something we experience in our Christian life. Success in one week may see failure in the other. How do we make it through?
Notice the "mys" that Nabal uses. He is the rich man who tears down his storehouses in order to build bigger storehouses. He is the man whose life God calls upon all of a sudden.
Notice that David doesn't introduce himself as the anointed king of Israel, but as Nabal's son. For one such as David to call himself a son of Nabal is a great speech of humility. But Christ became one, a son of man, truly. A humble act.
Notice that with Nabal what leads is not who he is but what he has. Because that's what he's all about. His possessions.
At the end of 1 Sam 24, Saul finally acknowledges that David will one day be king. And then immediately after that, Samuel dies. And I can't help but wonder if this was deliberate and intentional. That Samuel's job has been finished.
Nabal owed David something without realizing it. That's us and God.
Abigail interceded for Nabal without Nabal knowing it. That's us and Jesus.
How will we respond to the news that we have been saved? Will our hearts get hardened like stone? God will remove the heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh.
What we see in Abigail is this: "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."
What is this wonderful woman (Abigail) doing with this horrible man (Nabal)?
The same question could be asked of those who attach themselves to the foolish pleasures of this world. You are the bride of Christ. What are you doing, getting in bed with the fool of all fools? The devil is soon to be judged, and all who are with him. Let us fly to our true Husband, who comes with a sword.
The Lord strikes Nabal dead (1 Sam. 25:39).
The Lord sent Abigail to meet David (1 Sam. 25:32). Likewise, the Father draws us to Jesus (Jn. 10:29).
David confessed it is the Lord who restrained him from hurting her (1 Sam. 25:34). Likewise, the Lord delivers us from His judgement of wrath.
Abigail confesses that she is a servant to wash the feet of her lord’s (David) servants (1 Sam. 25:41).
Abigail followed the messengers of David and became his wife (1 Sam. 25:42). We follow the messengers of Christ, and become His wife.
Nabal’s harsh words stirred up David’s anger. He could have spoken gently, and wrath would not have come upon him.
Was Abigail doing the right thing? Abigail had insight into the Lord’s choice of David. And so her decision to go against her husband’s wishes seems to fall under the category of obeying God rather than men (Acts 5:29).
Is Abigail not being submissive to her husband? Ladies, you understand that submission doesn’t mean there are not times that you must help your husband when he does not know he needs help.
Abigail was committed to helping Nabal.
24 She fell at his feet and said, “On me alone, my lord, be the guilt. Please let your servant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your servant.
Where did Abigail learn to diffuse such a situation like this? Her training was that she was married to a foolish and hot-tempered man. She had to learn early on not to nag this man into submission. She learned to be gracious, patient, and strategic with her words. And she now uses this skill on David.
If we were to summarize this chapter, it would be Proverbs 15:1-2.
1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.
1 I said, “I will guard my ways, that I may not sin with my tongue; I will guard my mouth with a muzzle, so long as the wicked are in my presence.”
Abigail is one of the best peacemakers. She’s not only saving her husband from imminent death. She’s saving the entire household of Nabal. And moreover, she’s saving David from committing a terrible mistake of claiming personal vengeance.
26 Now then, my lord, as the Lord lives, and as your soul lives, because the Lord has restrained you from bloodguilt and from saving with your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek to do evil to my lord be as Nabal.
Abigail then reminds David of the calling God has placed upon his life.
28 Please forgive the trespass of your servant. For the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the Lord, and evil shall not be found in you so long as you live.
And what’s Abigail’s attitude toward her husband? There’s no bitterness or anger in her words. Her words are full of compassion. Anger isn’t the only emotional response to having a foolish or selfish husband.
Abigail goes ahead of her foolish husband to make peace with David. What’s she doing? She’s atoning for her husband’s sin. She’s interceding on behalf of Nabal. She’s putting herself in his place. This beautiful, wise, wonderful woman says to David in v.24, “On me alone be the guilt.”
No bitter wife would ever take such ownership of their husband’s mistakes like that. Abigail is forgiving at heart. She is pure at heart. Her heart is compassionate toward her husband, not bitter.
If Abigail had friends in this day and age, they might tell her to rebuke her husband.
When David is confronted with his sin, he agrees, humbles himself, and changes. David receives what Abigail says, and changes (1 Sam. 25:32-35).
David’s legacy would have been ruined if he killed Nabal’s entire household without just cause.
So what do we do when our spouse acts wrong?
We need to first settle it in our mind, “I will honor the Lord. I will act right, even if they act wrong.” Why? Because God commanded it (Rom. 12:17-18).
Abigail acted in her husband’s best interest as part of her obedience unto the Lord. And we see the same thing commanded of us in Ephesians (Eph. 5:22).
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
What does this mean? This means you don’t count score in marriage. Stop thinking about who deserves what. Don’t give your husband the respect he deserves. Give him the respect God commands of you. And likewise, husbands, don’t give your wife the love she deserves. Give her the love God commands of you. Marriage isn’t about counting score, it isn’t about giving each other what they deserve.
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Wives, if your husband is like Nabal, then do what Abigail does. Intercede on their behalf. Ask for forgiveness on their behalf.
Men, do you want this kind of wife? Then don’t be like Nabal. Because Nabal doesn’t keep her. It is David who gets the girl.
Elizabeth Eliot.
A reverent awe, as for a holy being or an exalted thing, the way a woman should think about her husband. Imagine if you treated your husband as a holy being.
She said this to the ladies she was speaking to. Speaking from Ephesians 5:1, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”
And she said this. Ladies, what if you actually began to look at your husband when he comes home from work, and say “the lord has come home from work.” And then you get an opportunity to serve him, and you say, “I get to serve the Lord.” She pauses and says “Many of you probably think I’m joking, but the Bible says to honor and submit to your husbands as you would to the Lord.”
Does that sound radical to you? What if you began to treat your husbands with this type of reverent awe? What would it do? He knows that he doesn’t deserve this. He knows he hasn’t earned it himself. He’s been given a title, a place of authority. What if you began to honor that place of authority, as the Lord has called you? What would it do to him? What would it do to your husband if you treated him with reverent awe and respect like that?
If he’s a believer, he would immediately feel a sense of guilt, and a powerful love that would draw him to you.
If he’s not a believer, if he’s more like Nabal, then you would be a gospel witness to him. He would see something of the grace of Christ in how you’re treating him. Your kids would see that. Others would see that. And God would be honored and you would gain rewards in heaven because you decided to leave vengeance to the Lord.
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
The power is in what he sees in your pure and respectful conduct. That’s what God says.
What will happen? God will either bring judgement upon your husband, or He will bring salvation to your husband through your gospel witness. But what will not happen is nothing. This is too powerful. It will accomplish something.
The kindness of Abigail toward foolish Nabal was the closest to heaven he ever got. It was the closest to Christ he ever got.
Your gracious affection may be the greatest light he ever sees. Either your husband will reject you, or he will be drawn to you. If he rejects you, he rejects Christ in you. If he’s drawn to you, he’s drawn to Christ in you. You’re ultimately doing this for Christ’s sake, as obedience unto the Lord.
What if God isn’t using you to change them? What if God is using them to change you? What if your spouse is God’s tool to shape your character into Christ?
What if these moment when your spouse does something hurtful, is a divinely appointed moment in your life to not prove your love for your spouse, but to prove your love to the Lord?
A preacher: how can you ever learn unconditional love if you’re married to someone who met all the conditions? How can you ever learn mercy and patience and longsuffering if you’re married to someone who never fails you? How can you learn forgiveness if your spouse never sinned? How could you ever learn to give grace to the undeserving if your spouse always deserved your love?
The primary purpose of marriage is that through your marriage, you would both be conformed to the image of Christ. That’s why they say marriage is the greatest place the Lord sanctifies us. It often is. You’re married to someone who doesn’t meet all the conditions so you can learn unconditional love.
How hypocritical we are sometimes. We worship the Lord for His grace, but we demand that our spouse live in such a way that they don’t need grace from us. We worship the Lord for His unconditional love, but we get mad at our spouse if they don’t meet all the conditions.
What’s our attitude toward marriage? If we follow Christ’s example, then we would say the following: “I entered marriage to serve and not be served.” Marriage isn’t about finding the right person; it’s about becoming the right person.
The Lord is wise. He doesn’t give us what we ask for always. He doesn’t give us what we want, but what we need. We need to learn to give grace. We need to be able to see someone’s flaws, to even be a victim of their flaws, and love them in return.
We must continually redeem our spouse through redemptive love. One of the primary ways to show the gospel in this world is to your spouse. Your marriage is one of the primary ways you’re ever going to preach the Gospel.
On the 20th of April, we will be taking the Lord’s Supper, holy communion. What does it represent? It represents one spouse who is doing right, when the other is doing wrong. We are the bride of Christ, and we have a perfect spouse who gives us grace when we don’t deserve it, who loves us unconditionally. You and I are relentlessly loved by our true Husband. Find power in that. Find strength in that. Find love in that.
This chapter ends on an unsavory note.
David takes Ahinoam as his wife. Who is she? Why did he take her?
Saul then gives David’s wife, Michal, to another man named Palti, from a place called Gallim.
My lord is fighting the battles of the Lord (1S 25:28). Abigail hints at the difference between David’s proper military role and the personal vendetta he is now pursuing. Righteous engagement in conflict means standing boldly for God and leaving personal injuries to be dealt with by the Lord.
In 1 Sam. 25, David is personally insulted. He has done a favor for Nabal by protecting Nabal’s herdsmen (v.7, 16). But Nabal refuses to return the kindness.
David withheld his revenge on Saul on account of Saul’s special status as the Lord’s anointed. But will he withhold his revenge from a normal person such as Nabal? He does not. Rather, he decided to end Nabal’s entire family.
Abigail keeps David’s hand from “bloodguilt” and “working salvation with his own hand” (v.33).
We see another wife in the New Testament, who tries to dissuade her husband from doing something foolish. Except that God doesn’t restrain him from doing so. I’m talking about Pilate’s wife, who called Jesus a righteous man, and tried to dissuade him from having Jesus killed (Matt. 27:19). However, Pilate didn’t listen to his wife, and handed Jesus over to be crucified.
What is the essence of marriage? Undeservedness. No happy husband has ever said to his wife, and no happy wife has ever said to her husband, “I deserve you.”
