Hot Mess: Family
Notes
Transcript
Introduction
We are starting a series called, “Hot Mess.” Now, I don’t know about you, but I certainly can relate with this phrase. If you’re unfamiliar with it, our culture likes to use this phrase to describe things that seem a bit out of control. “Hot mess" is a slang term describing a person or situation that is chaotic, disorganized, or problematic,
This phrase could be attached to numerous different things in our lives. It’s important to not just name things that seem chaotic but learn from scripture what to do in response.
The reality is, all of us at some point will know what it feels like to be a “hot mess.” During the next four weeks, we are going to hit on four key areas of life and learn what the Bible says our response should be to a chaotic reality in each of them. And to begin, I want us to focus on what is arguably the most important area of our life: our family.
Maybe you can relate to this story. The good news today is that every family is messy, and it’s been that way since the beginning of time.
I want to introduce you to a family from the Old Testament, one of the first we learn about. This family was known, in part, for their great faith. However, this faith did not come without some struggles as well. Starting with Abraham, and ending with Joseph, I want us to learn a few things from the patriarchs in Genesis. If you have a Bible with you, please turn to Genesis 15.
Trust God When it Doesn’t Make Sense to
Trust God When it Doesn’t Make Sense to
At this point in the story, we know Abraham has communicated with God numerous times. He receives promise after promise of blessing and fruitfulness to come from Abraham’s “seed.” But then God gets even more specific in His promises to Abraham. In chapter 15, verse 4, we read this…
4 Now the word of the Lord came to him: “This one will not be your heir; instead, one who comes from your own body will be your heir.”
God promises Abraham a son! This is truly a monumental promise considering the circumstances. Abraham is concerned because both he and his wife Sarah are getting up there in age. How could they have a child now? But how many of you know that even when it doesn’t make sense, God comes through? Maybe you know that to be true in your own life. You’ve got examples in your past of God’s faithfulness. The question that must be asked today is simple: what promises is God speaking over your life? Maybe you can’t hear the audible voice of God speaking these. But I believe that if you were to spend some time prayerfully looking at your life right now, you would experience God’s blessings everywhere you turn. And often, God’s promises and reminders come in the form of blessings.
This story goes on as God makes a promise to not only Abraham, but to Sarah herself.
9 “Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him. “There, in the tent,” he answered.
10 The Lord said, “I will certainly come back to you in about a year’s time, and your wife Sarah will have a son!” Now Sarah was listening at the entrance of the tent behind him.
11 Abraham and Sarah were old and getting on in years. Sarah had passed the age of childbearing.
12 So she laughed to herself: “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I have delight?”
13 But the Lord asked Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Can I really have a baby when I’m old?’
14 Is anything impossible for the Lord? At the appointed time I will come back to you, and in about a year she will have a son.”
Sarah could not believe it. She laughed at the thought of bearing a child in her old age. But sure enough, Isaac, their son, was soon born and would carry on the patriarchal promise made to Abraham. Can you imagine the scenes prior to Isaac’s birth? “Do we start preparing for the birth of a child, or were we hearing things from God that just weren’t true?”
A valid question, all things considered. It had to be a hot mess around that family. But then, God does what He does best: fulfills His promise! Abraham and Sarah learn to do one of the toughest things we’re called to do as well: trust God even when it doesn’t make any sense.
Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment.
Trust in your friends and they will die and leave you.
Trust in money and you may have it taken away from you.
Trust in reputation and some slanderous tongues will blast it.
But trust in God and you are never to be confounded in time or in eternity.
Dwight Lyman Moody (Evangelist)
There’s a story of a tightrope walker who showed off his skills in front of a cheering crowd. He made it across, then pushed a wheelbarrow back. The crowd gasped in awe. He then asked, ‘Do you believe I can do it with someone in the wheelbarrow?’ Everyone cheered, ‘Yes!’ He pointed to one man and said, ‘Then get in!’ Trusting God can feel just like that. Many say they believe in Him, but do we dare to climb into the wheelbarrow?
What about you and your family? How has God has been trying to strengthen your faith and reliance on Him by putting you in a position that seems like a hot mess.
It seems chaotic. It feels wrong and yet, God is going to use it to not only produce what He plans to give, but also something important within you and your family. He is calling you to trust Him deeper!
However, the story doesn’t stop with Abraham. What about Isaac, his son?
Pour Out Love Equally
Pour Out Love Equally
The hot mess becomes even more of a mess. Isaac marries a woman named Rebekah. They have two boys, Esau (who is older) and Jacob. Based on what we know to be true in the Old Testament era, Esau was the rightful owner of the birthright. But here’s where it gets messy. Jacob desires the birthright and will seemingly do anything to get it. He makes Esau swear to sell all his rights as the firstborn child, in exchange for a meal when he was hungry. Jacob does all of this without Isaac even knowing. So how will he get it? Turn to Genesis 27.
Summarize Genesis 27:5-35
Jacob goes and does his best impression of his brother, so he can inherit the rights of a firstborn son. These are extreme measures Jacob is willing to go to. But the key component is his co-conspirator in the process: Rebekah, their mother. What do we learn about both Isaac and Rebekah as parents?
Read Genesis 25:28
28 Isaac loved Esau because he had a taste for wild game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.
They had favorites. Now, I’m not here to try and tell you how to parent your children. However, I am here to give you a glimpse into the lives of two parents who decided to have favorites amongst their children. It turns into quite a mess. So, what should be our response? I think Jesus sheds some light on this answer in John 15.
Read John 15:12-13
12 “This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you.
13 No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends.
Jesus models for us how to love others well, no matter what their title or relationship to us is. He says the most effective way to love is as He loves us. And how is that? He loves us unconditionally, equally, and sacrificially.
Maybe you’re here today, and you come from a home where this type of love isn’t or wasn’t present. I’m here to let you know from personal experience that this is the type of love God has for all His children. He loves unconditionally, equally, and sacrificially.
STORY: Talk about the first time you experienced the love of God in your life. What were the circumstances and how did it change you?
This type of sacrificial love requires time and dedication. It invites us to lay aside our own desires to sacrifice for others. It teaches us to love our family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers because of who they are, not what they do. If you’re desiring insight into who God loves, or who can be a recipient of it, here you go:
8 But God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Our love should be poured out to all people equally, especially those who we are closest to, our family. For God so loved the whole world, and while it might not be possible for us to accomplish the same in our lifetime, we can extend love and compassion to everyone God brings into our lives.
However, there is one more progression in this patriarchal family unit that we must look into: Joseph.
Forgive One Another
Forgive One Another
Joseph is one of twelve sons of Jacob. At one point in the story, he has a series of dreams that his brothers interpret. Essentially, these dreams are elevating Joseph over his brothers, something they aren’t a huge fan of. And this family, once again, seems like a hot mess.
Read Genesis 37:23-28
23 When Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped off Joseph’s robe, the long-sleeved robe that he had on.
24 Then they took him and threw him into the pit. The pit was empty, without water.
25 They sat down to eat a meal, and when they looked up, there was a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. Their camels were carrying aromatic gum, balsam, and resin, going down to Egypt.
26 Judah said to his brothers, “What do we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood?
27 Come on, let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay a hand on him, for he is our brother, our own flesh,” and his brothers agreed.
28 When Midianite traders passed by, his brothers pulled Joseph out of the pit and sold him for twenty pieces of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took Joseph to Egypt.
Sure enough, Joseph finds himself sold into slavery and on his way to Egypt. But, if you know the story, you know God’s hand is on Joseph. Though he faces numerous setbacks in Egypt, he finds great success and favor with the leader of Egypt, Pharaoh. He is eventually elevated to second in command over Egypt, a role that puts him in charge of distributing food when a famine hits. His power, authority, and responsibility become enormous compared to where he came from.
But even after all these years away from his family, and now, due to a famine in the land, he will once again be reunited with them. How will they respond? Maybe a crucial question for us is, how would WE respond in this type of scenario, all these years later?
Read Genesis 50:16-17
16 So they sent this message to Joseph, “Before he died your father gave a command:
17 ‘Say this to Joseph: Please forgive your brothers’ transgression and their sin—the suffering they caused you.’ Therefore, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.” Joseph wept when their message came to him.
They understand Joseph’s newfound power in Egypt, so they beg for mercy and forgiveness. Today, you and I could probably agree that forgiveness is a really hard thing. Whether we are talking about our family members or complete strangers, forgiveness is not easy.
STORY: Tell about a time when you had a hard time showing forgiveness to someone.
But Joseph, a man of God, decides to teach us that forgiveness is key to a healthy, familial relationship, even if it doesn’t feel great at the moment.
Read Genesis 50:19-21
19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God?
20 You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result—the survival of many people.
21 Therefore don’t be afraid. I will take care of you and your children.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
Joseph doesn’t just forgive them but promises to help them in their time of need.
On December 20, 1974, five days before Christmas when a stranger approached ten-year-old Christopher Carrier, claiming to be a friend of his father. “I want to buy him a gift, and I need your help,” said the stranger. Eager to do something good for his dad, Chris climbed aboard a motor home parked up the street.
The driver took Chris to a remote field, claiming to be lost, and asked Chris to look at a map. Suddenly Chris felt a sharp pain in his back. The stranger had stabbed him with an ice pick. The man drove the wounded boy down a dirt road, shot him in the left temple, and left him for dead in the alligator-infested Florida Everglades.
Chris lay unconscious for six days until a driver found him. Chris miraculously survived his injuries, though he was blind in his left eye. Because he was unable to identify his attacker, police could not make an arrest. For a long time young Chris remained frightened, despite police protection. Finally at an invitation given after a church hayride, Chris trusted Jesus Christ as his Savior. He recalls, “I was overwhelmed with emotion … because I knew I had never really accepted and personally met the Savior.” This turning point in Chris’s life came three years after the attack. At age 15 Chris shared his story for the first time. He eventually decided to pursue full-time ministry, helping others find the peace he had discovered in Christ.
In 1996 a detective told Chris over the phone that a man had confessed to the crime that had cost him his left eye. The man’s name was David McAllister. Chris made plans to visit the feeble and now blind man, living in a nursing home. The strong young man Chris remembered was now a broken, humbled 77-year-old.
Chris learned from the detective some of the background of what had happened years ago. McAllister had been hired by Chris’s father to work as a nurse for an ailing uncle. Chris’s dad had caught McAllister drinking on the job and had fired him. The senseless attack on Chris had been motivated by revenge.
As Chris now talked to the old man, at first McAllister denied knowing anything about the kidnapping. As Chris revealed more about himself, the old man softened and eventually apologized. Chris said, “I told him, ‘What you meant for evil, God has turned into a wonderful blessing.’ ” Chris told his attacker how God had allowed his wounds to become open doors to share the good news of Christ.
Chris went home and told his wife and kids about meeting the man who had tried to kill him. The entire family began almost daily visits to McAllister’s nursing home. During one Sunday afternoon visit, Chris popped the most important question he had yet asked McAllister: “Do you want to know the Lord?” McAllister said yes. Both men basked in forgiveness as McAllister gave his heart to Christ. A few days later McAllister died—peacefully—in his sleep.
Carrier says it is not a story of regret, but of redemption. “I saw the Lord give that man back his life, and so much more,” Chris said. “I can’t wait to see him again someday—in heaven.”
When we really think about it, I would assume that this type of view of our family is one we all share. We desire to help when they are in need. We want to see them succeed. We want to love them the very best we can. And the Bible reminds us time and time again that forgiveness is an integral part of relationships with others.
I hope you have seen today that our families, whether we like it or not, will at times be a hot mess. There will be chaos. There will be storms. There will be frustration.
However, the Bible has given us keys to respond well in these situations and seasons. We are to trust God, love others, and learn to forgive. The ball is in our court in each of these situations.
Will we choose to pour out our love equally between our kids? Will we collectively, as a family unit, trust God when it doesn’t make sense? Are we willing to show forgiveness to those who have hurt us within our home?
These are key moments and opportunities within our families to grow and mature in the kinds of relationships God would have for us. We’ve got to engage and trust Him if we want to move from chaos to peace.
Would you trust Him today with your family?
Let’s pray together.
