Love God Love People Week 3

The Difficulty of Love

We live in a broken world with broken people and broken relationships. Sin has completely permeated every facet of life, making it difficult to love and be loved. We must keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, and be intentional about loving God and loving others. 

Main Scripture - James 4:1-3, 7-10, Genesis 4:1-9, Galatians 5:16-26

Introduction

Welcome back church! We’re a few weeks into our series, Loving God; Loving People, and I imagine today’s message is going to resonate with a lot of us as it’s all about the difficulty of love. 

There are times and situations where it is hard to love others: ie:

We all have these stories, and the truth is, we’re hard to love as well. None of us are easy to love, all the time, no matter how hard we may try to be. We live in a broken world with broken people and broken relationships. Sin has completely permeated every facet of life, making it difficult to love and be loved. 

The antidote to our problem is to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, and be intentional about loving God and loving others. It’s far too easy to give up, become complacent, and move on from relationships when they get too difficult and messy. Thankfully for us, that’s not what God did, but rather, He engaged us in the midst of our sin and offered us a path to forgiveness and redemption. 

He did this because He loved the entire world. (John 3:16)

John 3:16 NKJV

16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Main Idea

Last week, we talked about the example of love that Jesus set through His earthly life and ministry to others. I think we can all agree that it’s easy to love people we like, people who are like us, and people who share our interests and desires. It’s exponentially more difficult to love people who are different, who we disagree with, and people who have differing interests and desires.

With that said, we’re going to take a deeper look today at some of the competing interests and desires that make it so difficult to love others. Thankfully, the Bible addresses all things pertaining to life and faith, including this. Please turn with me to the book of James chapter 4. 

Read James 4:1-3

James 4:1–3 NKJV

1 Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.

Competing Desires 

You’ve got to love how James comes right out with it in this passage, “What causes fights and quarrels among you?” As you let that question hang for a moment, think about the things or situations in your life that cause fights, quarrels, and division. What memories come up for you? What situations get you frustrated? James goes on to say, “You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight.” How much of our anger stems from simply not getting what we want?

We have desires that compete with the world around us. We want an easy life, obedient children, perfect relationships, part time jobs that pay full time salaries, etc.  

In Genesis chapter 4 we see the very first example of this competitive and divisive desire in the life of Cain and Abel. 

Read Genesis 4:1-9

Genesis 4:1–9 NKJV

1 Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, and said, “I have acquired a man from the Lord.” 2 Then she bore again, this time his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. 3 And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the Lord. 4 Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the Lord respected Abel and his offering, 5 but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. 6 So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” 8 Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him. 9 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” He said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”

Cain was jealous of Abel. He wanted God to look at his offering with the same favor Abel received. His jealousy and anger led him to murder… and the rest they say, is history. These desires inside of us are powerful. So powerful in fact, that sometimes, we do things we’re not proud of. 

Share a personal story here of a time when you responded uncharacteristically out of anger or frustration or jealousy. What happened? What led up to the events? And how did you respond afterwards?  

These types of stories aren’t unique. Many of us struggle with the difficulty of relationships and the call to love others. Love asks so much of us and the example Christ set just seems impossible to follow. Not to mention, the pervasive and constant temptation of sin all around us. We can understand then, why God would say to Cain in Genesis 4:7, “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” Sin is always at our proverbial doorstep, and it wants to “have” us… but, we must master it. We must learn to overcome our divisive and destructive desires in order to both love others, and live at peace.  

Life in the Spirit

As we learn throughout the Old Testament, the people of God weren’t able to overcome sin on their own. They needed a perfect high priest who could finally and completely offer a sacrifice worthy of total forgiveness. As we now know, this priest was and is Jesus. But even though we have the loving example of Christ to follow, we still need the additional empowerment given through the Holy Spirit to live a righteous and unified life. 

Read Galatians 5:16-17

Galatians 5:16–17 NKJV

16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.

“The sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit…” What are some examples of this sinful nature? 

Read Galatians 5:19-21

Galatians 5:19–21 NKJV

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

This obviously isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s a great starting point. The selfish bent of human nature makes it difficult to love each other. We want things we cannot and should not have. We fight and quarrel. We get jealous over petty things and we lose sight of the big picture. But these are not the way of love, and this is not the life God wants us to live. God has graciously given us the Holy Spirit so that we can live a fruitful life of righteousness. 

Read Galatians 5:22-26

Galatians 5:22–26 NKJV

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

The fruit of the Spirit can be evident in the life of others. It can also be evident in our lives as well. Take an honest look at your own life, your relationships, and the way you love others. Are you loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self controlled? These are the evidences of a life lived by the power of the Spirit. Not to say we will always be perfect, because we will not. But that’s where the complete and total forgiveness of Christ comes in. That’s where the power of Jesus steps into our brokenness and suffering. We must learn to submit to Him, give our lives to Him. The good, the bad, and everything in between. 

Humble Yourselves

It’s a humbling thing to admit you’re difficult to love. It’s equally humbling to admit how you experience great difficulty in loving others. However, these are important starting points as we seek to love like Jesus and follow His example. Thankfully, the book of James not only introduces the reasons behind much of our relational difficulty, it also provides the potential antidote.

Read James 4:7-10

James 4:7–10 NKJV

7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

We must learn to humble ourselves before God. Submitting ourselves to Him and being obedient are ways we express our love and affection. Much like a child to a parent, we trust and obey God because we know He has our best interests in mind. In John 14:15 Jesus says, “If you love me, keep my commandments.” 

Often it is difficult being obedient.. Either as a child or as a follower of Christ.

The point of these stories is to say that this is something we all struggle with. Humbling ourselves is hard, pressing into God is hard, washing our hands and ridding our lives from sin is hard. But Jesus never said it would be easy, in fact to the contrary, He says multiple times throughout the New Testament that we will experience difficulty and suffering in this life. 

But, as we learn in James 4:10; If we “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” 

James 4:10 NKJV

10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

Conclusion

I think we can all admit that humility doesn’t come naturally to us… In fact, we are all much more naturally inclined to be selfish, prideful, and obstinate. Which in turn makes loving God, others, and ourselves very difficult. 

Take some time to take inventory of your relationships and attitude this coming week. Do you see evidence in your life of the Holy Spirit? Is there righteous fruit coming from you? If not, then the good news is that it’s never too late to humble yourself and ask for help. 

Ask in prayer. 

Ask your friends or family. 

Invite others into your life and learn to work through the difficulty of relationships. 

We live in a broken world with broken people and broken relationships. Sin has completely permeated every facet of life, but Jesus entered this very world and conquered the power of sin and death so that through Him, we could experience the fullness of life. Restored life. Redeemed life. 

If we humble ourselves before Him, He will lift us up.