Why We Make Excuses

Matthew 19:1–12 ESV

Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” 10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

Today’s talk is all about discovering what drives people like us to make excuses and do things we know, deep down, don't honor God.

We Are Talking About the Motivation of the Heart

We see in the text that religious leaders and even, Jesus’ disciples later, struggle with the idea of doing things that are hard. The bring up questions. But, the first verse reveals a secret motive behind this whole exchange.

Let’s see if you can catch it

Matthew 19:1 ESV

Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.

Matthew 19:2 ESV

And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

So, in this situation, who is being blessed and helped?

Who is doing the work of blessing and helping?

Is this any normal type of helping? Why?

Okay, stage is set...

If you were there, how do you think you'd respond to Jesus? Would you feel superior to Him or infirior?

Matthew 19:3 ESV

And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”

Tested = This is what they were really doing

They were not asking Jesus to be transformed by His answer.

They were looking for an answer that gave them a reason to not be transformed by Him.

Jesus Knows the Motivations of Our Heart

Matthew 19:4 ESV

He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,

Matthew 19:5 ESV

and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

EVERYONE SAY

ONE

Matthew 19:6 ESV

So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

God made it clear. Why don't you want to obey Him?

This isn’t really about divorce, bros. This is about something deeper!

We Ignore the Motivations of Our Heart

Matthew 19:7 ESV

They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?”

COMMAND??

Matthew 19:8 ESV

He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

Beginning:

EVERYONE SAY “AD FONTES”

Now say, BACK TO THE SOURCES

Jesus is saying “Go back to the source of marriage”.

God never intended for divorce to be an option.

OUR HEARTS MADE IT NECESSARY FOR DIVORCE TO BE CONSIDERED ***NOT COMMANDED***

Matthew 19:9 ESV

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

PEOPLE TREAT DIVORCE AS A VALID OPTION BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT WILLING TO GO UPSTREAM IN THEIR HEARTS.

James 4:1–3 ESV

1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

Having The Heart Motivations of Jesus is Difficult

Matthew 19:10 ESV

The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”

Matthew 19:11 ESV

But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.

Matthew 19:12 ESV

For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

GROW GROUP QUESTIONS

What was the crowd's reaction to Jesus' teachings and healings?

What does Jesus say about why Moses made rules about divorce?

What does Jesus imply about the motivations of our hearts in relationships?

Why did the disciples think it might be better not to marry?

What do you think Jesus wants us to understand about our hearts?

Read Philippians 2:1-8. What does Paul say we should pursue in our relationships with other people?

Why is Philippians 2:1-8 so important for marriage?

Who has the purest and most holy motives of heart? How do we know that? (hint: it’s in the Philippians passage)