Loneliness

Build Connection

As most of you know I spent this past week driving my brother to Seattle and back to move his belongings. Shout out to Steven Crowley for making the trip with me.

If you have ever driven over night on a long stretch of road by yourself, it can get lonely. Not only are you in a car by yourself, but if you don’t see another car, it can feel like you are alone in the world.

I remember when I was early in ministry as a youth pastor, I looked forward to youth convention and summer camp. Not because I enjoyed the atmosphere, but because I was always with people.

You see for many years I loved alone and as such I would spend most of my evenings alone at home and at times loneliness would want to creep in.

There are a lot of people today who experience that same thing and for them loneliness creeps in. The funny thing is, there are many people who live in a full house but still deal with loneliness.

Create Tension

Is loneliness a sin?

Should I feel alone or have feelings of loneliness as a Christian?

Is there anything I can do to overcome loneliness?

What does the bible say about loneliness?

Provide Solution

Some of the greatest men of the Bible deal with loneliness.

1 Kings 19:9–14

9 There he came to a cave, where he spent the night.But the Lord said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

10 Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”

11 “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

14 He replied again, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”

Doing great things for God does not mean you won’t experience loneliness!

Just before this experience with God, Elijah had defeated the 450 prophets of Baal. Then a hit notice was put out on him by Jezabel.

Lets look at another person who dealt with loneliness

Psalm 102:6-7

6 I am like an owl in the desert, like a little owl in a far-off wilderness. 7 I lie awake, lonely as a solitary bird on the roof.

This passage was written by David the man after God’s own heart! He felt the sting of loneliness.

Being a great man of God does not mean you won’t experience loneliness!

Even the apostle Paul as great a man as he, dealt with loneliness.

2 Timothy 4:9–10 “9 Timothy, please come as soon as you can. 10 Demas has deserted me because he loves the things of this life and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus has gone to Dalmatia.”

It would seem Paul is in a lonely place for all his friends are nowhere to be found.

Doing the work of God does not mean you won’t experience loneliness!

Believe it or not there is someone who experienced loneliness that most didn’t realize

Matthew 27:46 “46 At about three o’clock, Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?””

Being human means you will be subject to loneliness!

There is a difference from being alone and feeling alone!

It is obvious when you see someone who is alone, but it is not so obvious when someone feels alone.

I’m going to categorize loneliness into three areas.

Physical Loneliness

You feel loneliness because you are isolated from others by your own doing or someone else’s.

You feel alone simply because there is no one else around.

Emotional Loneliness

This is where you are surrounded by people but still feel alone.

You feel distant from people and and there is no connection with them on a deeper level.

You feel like no one understands how you are feeling.

Spiritual Loneliness

You feel like God has abandoned you, or at the very least you can’t feel his presence.

We must understand this:

Loneliness is a feeling, and like all feelings, they can lie to us!

Loneliness can make us feel like we are unimportant.

Loneliness can make us think someone else’s life is better than ours.

Loneliness can make us questions the relationships we already have.

Loneliness can make us

Loneliness is an attack of the Devil, he knows how to devour his enemy, divide and conquer.

All the great predators know how to be efficient in killing, they do it in two ways. Stealth and separation.

Sneak up on your pray, and/or divide them from their group.

Encourage Change

How do we fight loneliness?

Acknowledge that everyone is susceptible to loneliness.

Because everyone has feelings and loneliness is a feeling, experiencing loneliness is always a possibility.

Realize that while it is not a sin, it often leads to sin.

Having feelings is not sin, but if we allow them to dictate our actions the will inevitably lead us to sin.

Loneliness will cause a woman to be promiscuous to feel loved.

Loneliness will lead a teen to sin so they can fit in with others.

Loneliness will lead a man to alcohol to numb his pain.

Build meaningful connections with others who love Jesus.

Christians have a way of surface level relationships because they don’t want to expose their failures.

Rely on God.

Author F.B. Meyer makes a great observation..

“Loneliness is an opportunity for Jesus to make Himself known.”

2 Timothy 4:16–17 “16 The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me. May it not be counted against them. 17 But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength…”

Psalm 27:10 “10 Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”

Psalm 16:11 “11 You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.”

John 14:16 “16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you.”