Love Is... (Part 2: 1 Corinthians 13:5-6)
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Handout
Introduction:
Attention-Getter:
Attitude makes all the difference.
Quick personal story: two cups of coffee
Transition to Behavior vs. Attitude:
Not looks; what’s on the inside
Key Definitions:
Behavior = What you do
Attitude = How you think
Need:
Dating and behavior
Something even deeper: your attitude.
Attitude shapes behavior
Big Idea transition:
"Before you start dating — you need to prepare your attitude, not just your actions."
Body:
The Big Idea:
Prepare your attitude for dating
The Question:
What attitudes should you prepare?
Politeness (1 Cor. 13:5a)
5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable...
Explanation:
Prepare to be polite
Love = not rude, not demanding, not irritable
Politeness: respect = good manners
Not just "manners" — mindset of honoring others
Quick Question:
Q. According to this verse, what’s the opposite of politeness in dating?
Rudeness
22 But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.
Not legalism
Jesus died for our rudeness
Demanding
3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
“Selfish .. try to impress others” = Demanding/Rudeness
Humility > manners
Others first
Irritability
11 Fools vent their anger,
but the wise quietly hold it back.
Irritable > venting
How to hold it back
Nobody wants to date someone rude, selfish, or touchy.
Politeness now = patience later
Examples of Politeness:
Chivalry (opening doors, being thoughtful)
Good listener (not just “fixer”)
Respect differences
Gospel Tie-In:
God = gentle, patient, polite toward us
We show that same grace to others
Illustration (Story Setup):
Growing up: blew nose SUPER loud
Mom: "Once you’re married, not allowed until you have 5 kids!"
Funny...but politeness = thinking about others, not just yourself.
Application (Challenge):
Are you practicing politeness now? (family, friends)
Key line:
"If you’re rude, demanding, or irritable now — it’s going to show up when you’re dating later."
Goal: Small daily politeness habits
Transition Statement:
Politeness is rooted in an even deeper Biblical concept; Mercy
The Big Idea:
Prepare your attitude for dating
The Question:
What attitudes should you prepare?
Politeness (1 Cor. 13:5a)
Mercifulness (1 Cor. 13:5b)
5 ... and it keeps no record of being wronged.
Explanation:
Prepare for mercy
Q. What is mercy and how is it different than grace?
Not getting what we deserve
Q. What does “it keeps no record of being wronged” have to do with “mercifulness?”
Not getting what we deserve
We deserve record keeping
Mentally keeping accounts
“Love does not take notice of every evil thing that people do and hold it against them.”
Does not mean to ignore
Repeated mental forgiveness
Q. What are some examples of mercifulness in dating?
Giving the benefit of the doubt
Q. Why important for dating/marriage?
Bitter marriage
Not “no boundaries;” just not reactionary
God’s mercy
3 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is by his great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Now we live with great expectation,
God’s mercy =...
Born again
Death deserved
Through resurrection
Great expectation (Living hope)
A life to live/purpose to fulfill
Kingdom-minded
36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
The heart of God = not against us
Our Merciful Father
Shown mercy to show mercy
7 God blesses those who are merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Not works based salvation
General principle of God’s blessing
Mercy squared
Apply to dating
Illustration:
Text message disagreements
Brought up during disagreements
Can’t heal
Application:
Holding onto?
If you’re constantly keeping score or holding on to wrongs, you won’t be able to love freely or be loved in return.
Let go?
Change perspective
Focus on God’s mercy
Transition Statement:
Showing mercy to other people creates a desire to celebrate what is tru
The Big Idea:
Prepare your attitude for dating
The Question:
What attitudes should you prepare?
Politeness (1 Cor. 13:5a)
Mercifulness (1 Cor. 13:5b)
Truthfulness (1 Cor. 13:6)
6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Explanation:
Thinking morally
Mind/Heart posture = cares about right and wrong
Two-sided coin
Q. What does it look like rejoice about injustice?
Dark humor
Tolerating sin (impurity)
Injustice = affect
Broken minds/hearts
Other side: rejoicing over truth
Truth = the heart of Christianity
Living within reality
6 Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.
Truth wins bc its Jesus
17 Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.
The Bible = truth
Truth - growth
25 So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.
Living out truth
Q. How does this connect with dating?
No secrets
Dating morally (purity)
Unequally yoked
14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?
Not about marriage, but applies
Marriage = teaming up/partnership
No missionary dating
Q. How does this connect with God?
God & morality
Truth = Gospel message (Sinner, savior)
Illustration:
Relationship with Leah
Made light of sin
Different morals
Application:
Authenticity?
Do morals matter?
Lying?
Be a truth-teller
Conclusion:
Attitude truly does make all the difference
The Bottom Line:
Today’s attitude shapes tomorrow’s love.
Think differently about dating
Commit yourself to this
PRAY
Small Group Questions:
What is the general attitude towards dating in our culture like?
What does it look like for a Christian to have a different attitude for dating than our culture?
In what life situations is it hardest to be polite?
How do you find a balance between setting boundaries and showing mercy in dating?
What does it look like for a dating relationship/marriage to be based on the truth of God’s Word?
How can your apply this message to your life tonight?
