Divorce: Matt. 5:31-32

Context

We should see this concept in its Jewish context. The normal teaching on divorce came from a Jewish Rabbi named Hillel.

He taught that a man could divorce his wife for any point of dissatisfaction, including burning dinner! This was the interpretation that he found in Deut. 24:1. He thought that, as long as they gave a written document of divorce, it was OK.

This would leave the woman in a terrible position. If she was not close to her original family or was not accepted back, she would be broke, alone, and vulnerable. Women were not commonly able to make their own money or have their own business, leaving them to depend on a man.

Matthew 5:31–32 CSB

“It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce. But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Jesus Gives Dignity to the Woman

Jesus gives a new, much higher standard for what qualifies as a acceptable reason for divorce. Only on the grounds of sexual immorality can a person divorce their spouse. Jesus directs this teaching towards the men because it was not an option for wives to divorce their husbands. This meant that the woman now had safety and security in a marriage. Jesus’ teaching on marriage uses Genesis to paint the picture of how a man and woman are joined.

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female, and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matt. 19:4-6

This sense of oneness should cover all of our thoughts about marriage. If it is two people whose souls are coming together, there is a unique partnership that is formed where the two parts dedicate themselves to equal but different, complementary roles. The wife, under Jesus’ teaching, was not an object that could kept of tossed out, but rather a partner, as Adam says “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.”

Matthew Henry said this about the creation of woman, “Eve was not taken from Adam’s head that she should rule over him, not from his feet, to be trampled under foot, but she was taken from his side, that she might be his equal, from under his arm, that she might be protected by him, near his heart, that he might cherish and love her.”

Jesus Gives Responsibility to the Man

Jesus challenges not the individual actions of every man, but rather the common practice of the day by placing the responsibility for the outcome of marriage not on the woman, but on the man. Under Jesus, the woman no longer has to watch every move that she makes, but the man is cherish his wife. Jesus says that if the man divorces his wife and marries another, (which was very common in the time period before Jesus we see in Malachi) he not only commits adultery himself but also causes his (ex) wife to commit adultery!

The way that husbands are portrayed in the passage is not the most flattering. Paul will go on to give clear, beautiful imagery of how a husband and a wife are meant to treat each other.

Ephesians 5:22–33 “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.”

This leads us to the third thing that Jesus does in these two verses...

Jesus Gives Rightful Divinity to Marriage

Jesus sheds light on the significance of marriage. If we look back at matt. 19, we see that the man and woman become one! That’s pretty crazy to think about. Paul saying that marriage is a profound mystery that portrays Christ and his church? Also radical in our culture. Jesus definitely does not view marriage as a thing to be taken lightly.

Why have I spent so much time talking about marriage and so little time talking about divorce? Because if we have a small view of marriage, we will not understand or agree with Jesus’ teachings on divorce.

1 Corinthians 7:10–16 CSB

To the married I give this command—not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to divorce his wife. But I (not the Lord) say to the rest: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce her husband. For the unbelieving husband is made holy by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy by the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. Wife, for all you know, you might save your husband. Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife.

Even from the time of Jesus to the time of Paul writing 1 Corinthians, there is now what seems to be the possibility of a wife leaving her husband. However, we must take the whole of Scripture into account that now the wife is not to divorce her husband unless sexual immorality is present.

I have the secret to this teaching, ready? If you follow Christ in everything that you do. If you passionately devote yourself to Christ, you will ONLY entertain the idea of marrying someone if they are also passionately devoting themselves to Christ. If this is the case, divorce shouldn’t be on the table because the love that you give to your husband and the love that you give to your wife will be an overflow of your relationship with God that will enable you to love that person even when it’s hard!