*IP* Magnify or Minimize

Intro

Let’s look at the magnify vs. minimize principal...

We know our spouses on a microscopic level...

We’re with them all of the time, share our hearts with each other, share our faults with each other...

We should know the most about them over anyone else on the planet...

But there are times we should magnify certain aspects of our spouse and there are times we should minimize certain aspects...

“God doesn’t exist to magnify my marriage. My marriage exists to magnify God.” - Unknown

I. Magnifying or Minimizing in our Marriage

A husband or wife can be either the greatest catalyst or hindrance to each other

Our response or rejection to marital growth is the key component for which we give our spouses hope or despair

You don’t have to stay where you are in your marriage

Examples:

Saul chose many strange women and the result was a divided kingdom (I Kings 11:1-4)

The Bible says they, “turned away his heart after other gods.”

Ahab chose Jezebel and the result was a wicked kingdom (I Kings 21:25)

Jezebel, “stirred him up”… not for the better

Job had trial and difficulty, but he had a divided home

Ruth was in a pretty vulnerable position with Boaz

Ruth 3:8–11 KJV 1900

8 And it came to pass at midnight, that the man was afraid, and turned himself: and, behold, a woman lay at his feet. 9 And he said, Who art thou? And she answered, I am Ruth thine handmaid: spread therefore thy skirt over thine handmaid; for thou art a near kinsman. 10 And he said, Blessed be thou of the Lord, my daughter: for thou hast shewed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning, inasmuch as thou followedst not young men, whether poor or rich. 11 And now, my daughter, fear not; I will do to thee all that thou requirest: for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman.

Boaz’s response was to magnify Ruth’s godly characteristic (virtuous woman)...

He could’ve:

Commented on her being a Moabite

Or the fact she was a widow

Or that she was poor and gleaning in his fields

Or she had nothing to her name

But he magnified a positive godly character trait in Ruth instead...

We need to get in the habit of magnifying the godly character traits about our spouses and not pointing out the negatives...

“Faults are thick where love is thin”

1 Peter 3:7–9 KJV 1900

7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: 9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

All language that would indicate the idea of magnifying your spouse...

Honour

Heirs together (we’re in this together)

One mind (you affect me and I affect you)

Compassion (as opposed to criticism or cruelty)

Love (over hate)

Pitiful (full of pity; tender)

Courteous (as opposed to rude)

Blessing (as opposed to burden)

II. Apply the Magnify or Minimize Principal

a. Realize we all have strengths and weaknesses

b. Allow your spouse time to grow in their weak areas

c. Set your expectations according to your spouse’s abilities

d. Never expect perfection

The Magnify or Minimize Principal:

Magnify: to take what is there and enlarge it for clear sight

a. I should magnify my spouse’s successes

b. I should magnify my spouse’s spiritual gifting

c. I should magnify my spouse’s ministry

d. I should magnify my spouse’s appealing characteristics

Examples:

I notice that Joseph could of openly stated Mary’s situation and had her stoned… but the difference was instead of making an instant decision, he “thought on these things...”

I think of Priscilla and Acquilla who were not in competition against each other for the best ministry, but they participated in ministry together...

Minimize: to take what is there and make it smaller than it is

a. I should minimize my spouse’s negative character traits

b. I should minimize my spouse’s failures

c. I should minimize my spouse’s undesirable character traits

I see how Adam did not help Eve with her sin, but instead he magnified her fault and blamed his fault on her as well...

Here is the question: How would you want to be magnified or what would you like to be minimized?

Ephesians 5:25–28 KJV 1900

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

To:

Sanctify it

Cleanse it

Present it

All verbs that focus on building the other person...

Concluding thoughts on the magnify or minimize principal:

a. Each partner must monitor their own feelings

b. Resist the urge to be easily offended

Proverbs 8:11 KJV 1900

11 For wisdom is better than rubies; And all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it.

c. One flesh means we’re in this together; successes or failures

d. Be aware of your spouse’s weaknesses

“Love doesn’t make you blind, it makes you see with grace.”

Illustration: imagine editing a photo of your spouse. You can either highlight the blemish or highlight the beauty