Mom, Dad, and the Kids

(Personal feelings and history with Mother’s Day)

Last week we talked about husbands and wives. I don’t think that is by accident. The Bible is explaining what the Christian home should look like and how it should function. Even back in those days, people know that strong people made strong families which in turn became strong communities.

We have to start with ourself.

Are we growing:

Physically

Intellectually

Emotionally

Spiritually

Socially

Once we are sure we are growing as an individual, not perfect, then we find that other person who is also growing in these areas. Eventually we get married, and now you have 2 selfish sinners trying to live together. If you are married, or ever have been married, you know that is no easy feat. So Paul in Ephesians teaches us haw to be a husband and a wife that honors God by submitting to each other. Then, usually, kids come along. How are we supposed to be good parents and how are children supposed to behave? The Bible is going to tell us.

Something I want to point out here. Ephesians was originally written as a letter to the church in Ephesus. In those days, these letters would circulate a specific are and be read allowed during the service. This very interesting when you consider something I think most of us glance over.

Ephesians is not tells parents how their children should act. It is speaking directly to the children. Why is this important? Paul assumed that children would be in the service and able to understand what was being said. He also doesn’t have people split up and only hear the part that applies to them. This suggests that there is not only mutual submission, also there is mutual accountability.

1. Honor You Parents

Ephesians 6:1–3 NLT

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”

This is really amazing. Honor is the pathway to blessing. So how do we honor our parents?

Honor is not based on the other person. It says more about you that the person being honored

It does not mean that you agree with everything the person says.

It does mean that you should obey your parents as long as you are living in their home.

This looks different once you are living on your own

Matthew 15:3–6 NLT

Jesus replied, “And why do you, by your traditions, violate the direct commandments of God? For instance, God says, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and ‘Anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.’ But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I would have given to you.’ In this way, you say they don’t need to honor their parents. And so you cancel the word of God for the sake of your own tradition.

Honoring as an adult means care for and respecting your parents. It does not mean that they should be prioritized over your spouse and children.

Remember that Jesus is always our example

2. Inspire Your Children

Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:20–21

Colossians 3:21 NLT

Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.

Ephesians 6:4 NLT

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

Fathers specifically hold a special place in the life of their kids. Fathers are considered the parents that instills confidence and self worth into the child. This is a roll that God takes very seriously. In fact, Jesus taught us to refer to God as our Heavenly Father.

The word translated “fathers” here can also be translated “parents.” So moms, I love you, but you ain’t off the hook.

As parents, we can’t be door mats, but we also can’t be drill sergeants. That is why we are called to train up child in the way they should go.

Proverbs 22:6 NLT

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Each child is different, even siblings. They have uniques skills and abilities, as well as a one of a kind way of seeing the world. You have to become a student of your child while also getting them ready for life. What does this mean?

It’s ok to toughen your kids up for the world. It’s not okay to tear them down.

It’s ok to joke around with your kids. It’s not ok to discourage them.

It’s ok to allow your kids to struggle. It’s not ok to be the source of that struggle.

Discover what your child is good at and also interested in. Encourage those pursuits.

Include contradictions: athletic but you push arts, outgoing but you want them to be quiet and still, etc.

Help them prioritize God and His church above other things.

Don’t make excuses for them

Show them by your actions

As an only child I can tell you its rough being the child of 2 people who never raised a kid. But I can also tell you that I always knew they loved me and were doing their best. Don’t try to be someone else, be yourself. Just be the best version of yourself.

Our children hear our actions more than our words.

I realize today is a day of celebration and honor that is well deserved. I also know this can be a hard day for a lot of us for many different reasons. I want you to know that you are not alone. You are also not without hope. Jesus sees you where you are. He loves you deeply.

Reflect on a time when you felt encouraged by your parents. How can you emulate that in your actions towards others?

What steps can you take to prioritize God and His church in your life, as encouraged in the sermon?

What does it mean to inspire your children according to Ephesians and Colossians?

How can you demonstrate mutual submission in your relationships with your parents and siblings?

According to the sermon, what is the relationship between honoring parents and receiving blessings?

How can you apply the principle of honoring your parents in your daily life, especially as an adult?

Why is it significant that Paul addressed children directly in his letter to the Ephesians?