Lessons From an Influential Mother

Introduction: Parenting is a tricky, emotional business.

First, you are emotionally invested. From the first day you lay eyes on that child you are captivated. You will not only do anything to protect that child, but you will sacrifice anything for them.

Second, you feel this deep responsibility to care for the child, teach and train them to be the best human possible. You feel responsible for their failures until they get 18, 21, who are we kidding the rest of our lives or their’s whichever comes first.

Out of all the things that we want to do well, none of them top being a parent. We don’t want to let our kids down. We don’t want to ruin their lives.

With this kind of intensity there are times when we stop and assess. And depending on when that is you may feel like you have mastered parenting or you’re the worst.

I’m here this morning to say that if you commit your ways, yourself, and your family to the Lord the end of the matter will turn out okay. I’m not saying it will be pain free, trouble free or worry free but God’s blessing will shine through. I also pray the text this morning will be an encouragement to those who have influence over others.

I want us to look at an Old Testament example of a mother who felt like she had let the Lord and her family down. She just wanted to go back home and live in obscurity until the end. Look with me in Ruth 1:1-16

Ruth 1:1–16 NKJV

1 Now it came to pass, in the days when the judges ruled, that there was a famine in the land. And a certain man of Bethlehem, Judah, went to dwell in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons. 2 The name of the man was Elimelech, the name of his wife was Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion—Ephrathites of Bethlehem, Judah. And they went to the country of Moab and remained there. 3 Then Elimelech, Naomi’s husband, died; and she was left, and her two sons. 4 Now they took wives of the women of Moab: the name of the one was Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth. And they dwelt there about ten years. 5 Then both Mahlon and Chilion also died; so the woman survived her two sons and her husband. 6 Then she arose with her daughters-in-law that she might return from the country of Moab, for she had heard in the country of Moab that the Lord had visited His people by giving them bread. 7 Therefore she went out from the place where she was, and her two daughters-in-law with her; and they went on the way to return to the land of Judah. 8 And Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go, return each to her mother’s house. The Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. 9 The Lord grant that you may find rest, each in the house of her husband.” So she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept. 10 And they said to her, “Surely we will return with you to your people.” 11 But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Are there still sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands? 12 Turn back, my daughters, go—for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, if I should have a husband tonight and should also bear sons, 13 would you wait for them till they were grown? Would you restrain yourselves from having husbands? No, my daughters; for it grieves me very much for your sakes that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me!” 14 Then they lifted up their voices and wept again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her. 15 And she said, “Look, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.” 16 But Ruth said: “Entreat me not to leave you, Or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God.

What a beautiful story of devotion by Ruth, who later becomes grandmother to David and places herself in the earthly lineage of Christ. Often we hear the last of her words in chapter 1 verses 16-17 in wedding vows because they speak so eloquently of the commitment required in a marriage.

The book carries the name of “Ruth” because it follows her life and lineage, but a preacher has rightly said that the book should have been called the book of Naomi because her influence and guidance is seen throughout the books pages.

My thought as I was reading this again was, what kind of influence did Naomi have to garner that kind of devotion from her daughter in law?

A second thought was how close Naomi came to forfeiting her influence and missing the blessing that God had stored up for her. She tried her best to get her daughters in law to forsake her.

I want to pull a few lesson out of this story to help not only parents but people of influence not miss the blessing God has through long-term influence.

An Occassion Sense of Failure Follows the Call to Influence.

Naomi felt that she had failed her family and God. Her sense of failure was so intense that she didn’t think she could influence anyone else. Listen to Ruth 1:11-13

Ruth 1:11–13 NKJV

11 But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Are there still sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands? 12 Turn back, my daughters, go—for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, if I should have a husband tonight and should also bear sons, 13 would you wait for them till they were grown? Would you restrain yourselves from having husbands? No, my daughters; for it grieves me very much for your sakes that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me!”

She didn’t think she had anything to offer them.

She had given up hope.

And she felt that the Lord’s hand was against her.

She felt the best thing for her daughters in law was to forsake her and go back to their pagan relatives and nation.

We end up seeing that none of those things were true.

But, at times when we are parenting, leading or influencing we feel that same weight. I have talked to many parents who think they have blown it so bad that they will never be able to influence their children again. In most cases that is not true.

Here’s what we must do:

We must face our failures and short comings. It does no one any good for us to deny them.

We must seek the way God would have us repent (remember repentance is attitude and actions).

We must be careful not to let our feelings of failure limit those we’re trying to influence. I noticed in the story that Orpah went backwards not forward in her faith. Ruth didn’t let Naomi’s sense of failure affect her.

Naomi did not capitalize on her influence with Orpah.

Listen, moms, parents, and Christian leaders. Occasionally you will feel like you’re failing, but don’t grow weary in doing what’s right. Don’t quit! Galatians 6:9-10

Galatians 6:9–10 NKJV

9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.

Beware, Bitterness Will Try to Name You.

We have all learned through experience that pain and disappointment is the risk we take to love someone in this fallen world.

We may sacrifice for our children and they don’t even notice.

We may invest in someone who just plays us. They may have never been serious or passionate about the things we are.

We may give, love, and sacrifice for someone who takes it all in and appreciates it and then moves or dies and leaves us reeling.

Pain, loss, and disappointment are the risk of living outside of ourselves.

Knowing the risks however doesn’t alleviate the pain that comes with the experience.

I know you have heard it, but I will say it again. Life will either make you bitter or better.

Bitterness will try to name you, if you let it. And it will try to poison every relationship, success, and opportunity that you have. Listen to Ruth 1:20

Ruth 1:20 NKJV

20 But she said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.

Naomi literally means “Pleasant.” Mara means “Bitter.” The choice was up to Naomi. She could be pleasant or bitter.

She began bitter, but became pleasant. How?

She stopped blaming God for her circumstances. She realized that God wasn’t against her, He was for her.

She stopped looking inwardly and starting looking at who God put in her life. She became concerned more for Ruth than herself.

The word bitter means poison and the idea is that it poisons our thoughts, words, actions, and relationships with others. In other words if bitterness sets in, it can kill our influence over others. We must root out bitterness as quickly as we can!

Find Joy Through the Success of Others

Naomi found her joy through helping Ruth become secure. Listen to Ruth 3:1-5

Ruth 3:1–5 NKJV

1 Then Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, “My daughter, shall I not seek security for you, that it may be well with you? 2 Now Boaz, whose young women you were with, is he not our relative? In fact, he is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor. 3 Therefore wash yourself and anoint yourself, put on your best garment and go down to the threshing floor; but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. 4 Then it shall be, when he lies down, that you shall notice the place where he lies; and you shall go in, uncover his feet, and lie down; and he will tell you what you should do.” 5 And she said to her, “All that you say to me I will do.”

She gave her every detail needed to be successful. If we look in at the end of chapter 3 she comforts her and assures her that Boaz will do everything that he promised.

Naomi realized that Ruth’s success was her success. She didn’t need recognition for guiding her, she just found joy in Ruth’s redemption and stability.

I believe we will go far as a leader if we can find joy in other people’s success, other churches’ success, other leader’s success. In kingdom success.

The interesting thing is Ruth’s blessing became a blessing to Naomi. I would dare say that a blessing for the kingdom is a blessing for every church no matter who gets the credit or increase.

Plant Seeds in the Next Generation

I’m not gonna take as long as I would like here but I want us to look at the end of the book in Ruth 4:13-16

Ruth 4:13–16 NKJV

13 So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife; and when he went in to her, the Lord gave her conception, and she bore a son. 14 Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a close relative; and may his name be famous in Israel! 15 And may he be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age; for your daughter-in-law, who loves you, who is better to you than seven sons, has borne him.” 16 Then Naomi took the child and laid him on her bosom, and became a nurse to him.

I don’t read too much into this but, the bottom line is Naomi was able to influence a whole new generation. Ruth became more than a daughter in law, she became a daughter and a restorer of the life, giving her grandchildren through a kindsman redeemer.

I believe if we are willing to build the trust and make the investment, we can influence generations.

Where is Christ in this story? Boaz is a picture of Christ.