Mother’s Day

Intro

The Suit

We’ve grown a bit since last mothers day and you might be wondering why I am wearing a suit and tie today.

Quick story…When I was 28 and became a senior pastor for the first time, the pastor before me who was very well loved…he wore a suit and tie every week

I didn’t want to do that so I dressed down a bit..>And I heard it every single week especially from the older ladies…Oh You know Pastors should wear suits

So that first mother’s day I wore a suit and I got praised! Now you look like a pastor

So I stood up that first mothers day as a senior pastor and said…You know Jesus doesn’t care what you wear to church…He asked everyone why they were so concerned with clothes…He said Solomon wasn’t even dressed very nice…

But I said…Now my mom on the other hand cares what I wear to church…Every mom wants to see her boy all dressed up…So I origionally did it to make a point that my mom cares more than Jesus what you wear to church …So this is now the 13th year of this tradition…And I thought when I moved to Sacramento I could get away with letting that tradition die…

But my mom would say, Just because you moved it doeasn’t mean you don’t have to wear a suit on mother’s day!

So then I thought I bet I can get away with not wearing one this year then my parents told us…”Were coming out for Jacob’s birthday, which was yesterday” Guys I think the real reason why they are here is to make sure I wear the suit…So that is the suit story…

Ok it is mother’s day so we always focus on moms this day and as such we are taking a brief detour from the book of Romans to focus on Mom’s…We will be back to Romans next week….

And I really think the Lord is compelling me to preach on Proverbs 31 this morning and let me tell you why….

Because I was rebuked by the Lord this week…I plan way ahead for sermon planning and I had all these other ideas for Mother’s day but Proverbs 31 kept coming to mind…And I had in my mind like when you go to a christian bookstore and you would get a T-Shirt that said Proverbs 31 woman on it or something like that

I’ve just seen so many cliche things surrounding the understanding of a proverbs 31 woman that I just was dismissive of it!

And I just said to myself…It’s a bit Cliche for mother’s day…like a little too on the nose…

And in that moment I just got this deep sense that, I grieved the Lord…. and he was like…This is my word for your life! Why would you ignore part of it…Pastor Dave???

See the problem is with me…Because I have seen it sort of marketed in a certain way I grew dismissive of it and I have to be honest with you, I think this week was the first time in my life I actually sat down and went through every word with a fine tooth comb and WOW! I just can’t believe I was ever dismissive about a part of God’s word….

I wanted to tell you that because God’s word matters and he cares that we read it! and not just the parts you like best but all of it!

So we will take a one week Detour from Romans….

And I Would like to read for you this most inspired and amazing proverb…and then I want to break it down for us today:

First I want to break some things down verse by verse then I will read bigger sections

Proverbs 31:1 NIV

The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.

First the character King Lemuel is sort of lost to history…

The word “Inspired” here is also the same word for Oracle In Hebrew it is “Massa” It’s almost a word picture, it is a burden that needs to be said!…Thats what this is…

It’s almost as if this mother had to unburden herself of this advice by telling her son over and over again until he memorized it. It was her burden that her son learns not only the right way to lead as a king but who to marry!

Dad’s have this too but Mom’s you have this instinctual, God given Burden for your kids that only you have. And it is impotrant that you lean into that burden and not be dismissive of it because your hopes, your prayer and your dreams for your kids matter!

Mom’s have this very immediate function…At one point you were hard-wired to your kids and your words are hard wired into them….Your words shape them into adulthood…They shape them into the person that they are becoming and they shape their selection of a spouse…Mom’s your words have power

We learn from our mothers. Its one of the first place and the most lasting places that we learn from

It’s why honoring your father and mother is so impotrant.

They have been writing the long term memory in your brain

Listen to how she starts her advice

Proverbs 31:2 NIV

Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb! Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!

The son is the answer to the mother’s prayers

She is like. Listen…You were in my womb, I prayed for you and Now! I get to have a say in your life!

But the first question I have for you is Do we pray for our children?

John Wesley one of the most profound clergy men of England said that one of the most profound moments of his life was when he heard his mother praying for him.

So she had three pieces of advice for him because she knows that she is raising royalty

Her son will be a king one day and it matters what he does with his life….So she gives him these three peaces of advice and then tells him about the kind of woman he should be looking for!

Proverbs 31:3 NIV

Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings.

The word for strength here is the word “Hayil” in Hebrew…It is the word for life force…or even army or still in Israel today it is the word that goes behind armed forces (Hayil) or Air “Hayil”

This word means your whole being of the forces of your substance including your spiritual worship…

And this mother the first warning to her son is watch out for the woman who will take your force away from you…But the mother will go on to say pick a woman with a strong Hayil…In other words…Pick a woman that will add to your strength not sap you of strength,…

Mom’s especially mothers of sons…You have a huge impact on who your son will marry

and Dad’s did you know you have a huge impact on who your daughters will marry?

All though this text to the Jewish mind should bring up stories of women who have had their strength taken from them…

Think of the Hebrew Judge Samson…He gives his strength to Delilah and the name Delilah, means “to weaken”…this was the far more overarching problem for Samson he gave his strength away to women.

So this mother is thinking through her son as a king knowing that his wife will make or break him!

In the Hebrew mind there is a long list of kings who were either made stronger by their wife or they were made weaker and I think the mother is saying…Recall here Lemuel our history…Don’t be ruined by picking a woman who will take away your “Hayil” Your life force but who will add to it!

By the way…It is worth noticing that most of the proverbs are written by Solomon, the wisest man alive…But if you were to read 1 Kings 11:6 you would see that because Solomon had many foreign wives he ended up doing evil in the sight of the Lord

It’s like the Last chapter of the book that Solomon wrote has a different author as an indictment of the author of the proverbs…Solomon allowed his many wives to lead him to evil…But the Proverbs 31 woman will lead to good!

Proverbs 31:4–7 NIV

It is not for kings, Lemuel— it is not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights. Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish! Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.

So what is the mother’s advice here? be in your right mind!

When you indulge in women

When you indulge in strong drink

Least You forget your purpose!

Right in the middle of this peace of advice Lemuel’s mother says look if you spend your time partying you will deprive the oppressed of their rights!

She is reminding her son of his purpose

Mothers are the first people to give their children a purpose

This is what is happening in this text…It is a mother saying look you have a purpose on this earth and you can not let anything deter you from it!

You are here for a reason!

She will go deeper into his purpose

Mom’s you do this! you give purpose to your kids!

Especially in that horrible stage when the kids are asking “why” all the time

Mom’s you have this ability and this gift and it is to help your kids see that they were made by God to honor God!

Proverbs 31:8–9 NIV

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Lemuel’s mother reminded him that his life was not about him!

That his life had to be about others

Your mother is the first person to teach you what selflessness looks like.

There is a lot of sacrifice in motherhood.

So let me summarize the three warnings that Lemuel’s mother gives him

Don’t give your “hayil” or strength away to an unworthy woman, don’t forget your purpose and never forget that your life is about others.

Mothers know a thing or two about women…

Now this next portion which we have read already is probably the most quoted out of proverbs 31 and it is worth noting that this entire poem is an Acrostic in hebrew…You can not tell in the english but the first line of every letter is a sequential letter in the Hebrew alphebet

It is meant to be memorized and in fact if you were in any Hebrew home on the sabbath day the husband would actually sing this over his wife!

Every home in Israel Sings this proverb over the wife every

If you have ever wondered why Jewish women were so strong it is probably because they have grown up hearing Proverbs 31 every week!

The point is that Proverbs 31 was written in a specific way and that was to be memorized!

Proverbs 31:10 NIV

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

A wife of Noble character is A wife of Hayil! That is actually the word here…

So the first warning from the mother to the son is watch out that you don’t pick a woman who will take away your Hayil but pick a woman with Hayil!

So what the mother is saying to her son is you are looking for a force of a woman…Pick a strong woman who will add to your purpose not take away from it

This woman simply gets stuff done!

She is strong

Proverbs 31:11–12 NIV

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

So just using these two verses I just want to give you an example of how crazy this poem is

Her husband has full confidence in her…When you read Proverbs 31 as a bible reader one of the things that you will notice is that the author brings in exact phrases from other works of poetry to show how amazing this woman is…

Ps 26:1 I have trusted in the lord and not faltered

Ps 52:10 I trust in God’s unfailing love

Ps 56:4 When I am afraid I put my trust in the Lord

There are 14 Psalms with the exact same Hebrew phrase…

The advice of the Mother of Lemuel is to pick a women of Hayil who you can have the same kind of trust in as if she were the lord.

Mom’s don’t you want to give this advice to your kids?

I literally had coffee on Wednesday with a friend who is a Hebrew Scholar and professor and pastor and he talked about how crazy it was that this phrase was used for a woman…Because it is the exact same phrase that is used for trusting in the Lord. He was telling me how there are so many other phrases that could have been used but instead this one is used

The advice of Lemuel’s mother is pick a woman that is so strong that you can have confidence in her the same way as you have confidence in the Lord!

Pick a woman who you can lean on!

So her husband has full confidence in her

And he lacks nothing of value (Treasure)

This Phrase “he lacks nothing” is lifted right out of Ps 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing

Every single line of Proverbs 31 is like the whole bible converging in just a couple of words it is really one of the most remarkable texts out there

he lacks no treasure because she is a treasure

She brings him good and not harm

This sentence right here is so rich that it brings out the whole of the story of scripture…and if you have ever heard me talk about Genesis you have heard me talk about Tov and Ra!

Tov is good and Ra is evil or or harm

The very first place in the bible where we see these words is in Genesis 2:9 where we see that there are two trees in the Garden of eden…The tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of Tov and Ra! Adam and eve are not supposed to touch the tree…But eve does and because she does she brings Ra into creation…her and adam…

And here in Proverbs 31 the author wants you to remember this and he says look! this kind of Hayil woman…a strong woman…She is not like Eve….She only brings good into the marriage…into the family! She is an agent of TOV. She chooses Tov and leads the family in Tov…Unlike Eve! who didn’t pass the test

Then the line ends with All the days of her life!

So this woman is a woman you can have confidence in the same way that you have confidence with the Lord

This woman lacks nothing of value

she brings him Good and not harm

All the days of her life

In just the same way that David writes in Psalm 23 that surely goodness and mercy will follow me all of the days of my life….King Lemuel’s mother says look….Go after this woman that has Hayil…This strong woman who will bring you Tov…All the days of your life…

Do you see how if we went down every single line like this we could just be here all day because the text is just so pregnant with meaning…

I think that What I used to feel was cliché about Proverbs 31 was when I would see people overlay a victorian value system and morality over this proverb…I feel like what other people did was use this proverb to put women in a box and say you have to live within this strict code…

Like a good woman is a woman who does the chores, raises the kids and is subservient to her husband…This is the way I used to see this proverb

Now that I have repented of that…This is like my greatest hope for my daughters…that they become a force of nature a true Proverbs 31 woman!

And what this text is actually saying Ladies is that a virtuous woman is a Force of nature! She is a strength a strong woman that won’t be bulldozed…

A strong woman who forcefully goes after the Tov of life!

The virtuous woman is a force of nature who is intent on good (Tov) coming from every situation in life.

And Mom’s you get to set that example early in the lives of your kids

This is why Mother’s Day is so universally loved

Proverbs 31:13–22 NIV

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

This is a woman who simply gets stuff done

She is a force of nature

She is concerned with everyone else not just herself!

Why is mother’s day such a big deal? Because we recognize the selflessness of mom’s

They are always thinking about everyone else and for everyone else

There is this Hebrew idea that the thing that is created last is sort of like the crown of creation…

The Sabbath day is last it is the crown of all the days and the last creature to be created was women

The idea is that women are the crown of creation!

And we have to remember this is King Lemuel’s mothers advice for what kind of wife he will pick…She says pick the crown of creation! Pick the strong and forceful woman!

It’s something she said over and over again so much so that he committed it to memory!

When I read this I think of my wife…She is all knowing in our house…I say this all the time, I just think for me but she thinks for all of us…Including the dog

It’s like she always has everything in the palms of her hands

What is the result of this wife and mother of Hayil?

The enter community is affected by the selflessness of the Proverbs 31 woman.

and you can see this even more in the following passage:

Proverbs 31:23–31 NIV

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I love where this ends…It is sort of a reminder where the advice started…

Charm and beauty is deceptive and fleeting! Don’t go after the woman who takes Hayil, go after the woman who gives it…

I honestly wish we had time to break down every word of this.

I am so glad that the Lord convicted me to study this passage because

I had this idea that it was somehow subjugating woman to some kind of victorian idea of a meek and mild woman…But that couldn’t be further from the truth…

The woman of Proverbs 31 is Bold and confident she gives wisdom to everyone while loving justice and mercy

The reputation of her whole household is

Literally your reputation will be made well by this woman who fears the lord

She will have wisdom pour out of her mouth

Response: A wife and mother of Hayil! A spiritual force!

These are the wishes of a mother for her son

She set the expectations high when her son was young and so much so that he was able to write them all down

Mom’s you get to shape not only your kids but the person who they will marry!

WOW!