Gospel Relationships

Good morning church family

To all of the mom’s in the room, Happy Mother’s Day

Mom’s do things that no one else in our lives do and so moms deserve a celebration that no one else in our lives gets.

So for all of the moms and grandma’s in the room, I hope today is sweet day for you as motherhood is a gift to all of us.

But I am also very aware that on a day like mother’s day, there is pain for some.

Perhaps your mom is no longer with us

Perhaps your mom was not the kind of mom that you hoped for

Or perhaps you long to be a mom and God has not chosen to allow you to experience that

In our home, Mother’s day is a sweet day to celebrate Jeannie and my mom and my sister who is a mom, but Jeannie lost her mom at 17 and so there is a tension of celebration and mourning.

And if that is you, there is grace to sustain you as you wait.

Regardless of what today means for you and your family, what we can all agree on is that motherhood is a necessary part of life and blessing from the lord

And so we thank him for the gift of motherhood, we trust him for the grace in motherhood, and we are grateful to celebrate all of you.

if you are a guest here, perhaps you came this morning because your mom said it’s Mother’s Day so you’re coming to church!

My name is Stefan, I am the preaching pastor here at Harvest

This being Mother’s Day and having family dedications a few moments ago, I think it is worth highlighting that we are a church family.

Announcements

We talk about being a church family, because that is how Scripture talks about the church. And a sign of a healthy church family is that we have healthy families in the church

And we have two important events coming up that are meant to grow our health as a church as we grow the health of our homes

VBC ask - Invite families

Men’s breakfast - As go the men of the local church, so goes the local church

We cannot simply engage in the church when it is convenient or when we feel like it.

We must make it a priority in our lives, for the sake of our families, our church family, our community, and our world.

So, register and let’s make growing in our discipleship a non-negotiable in our lives as men.

*******

Go ahead and open your Bibles to Matthew chapter 7.

We are now two-thirds of the way through the Sermon on the Mount, and I want to remind you what this sermon is doing in Matthew’s Gospel.

We finished chapters 5-6 and now we are moving into chapter 7

But back in chapter 4, verse 17, we’re told that Jesus began to preach “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”

Jesus’ early ministry was one of constantly calling people to repentance.

To repent is to change your mind. It’s to turn from the world’s ways to God’s ways. It’s saying, “I used to want what the world offered—but now I want what God offers. I used to think the way world thinks—but now I think what God calls me to think.”

And so the Sermon on the Mount is an extended explanation of what repentance looks like when the kingdom of God takes root in our lives.

Each section of this sermon calls us to think differently—to live differently—as people who belong to Jesus and his kingdom, which means that our lives are going to look different from the world.

We should be leery of any version of Christianity that says you can look just like the world, because Jesus is teaching us through the sermon on the mount that to follow him, your life must look different.

And thus far, each chapter has focused in on a particular aspect of human life.

In chapter 5, Jesus corrected our understanding of righteousness and our conduct, that true righteousness is a matter of my inner life.

In chapter 6, He reoriented our values and our motivations, that we should be motivated by and value the things of heaven.

And now, in chapter 7, He is going to turn our attention to our relationships, specifically how we relate to one another and to God.

This makes sense, because relationship is an essential part of human life.

We talked last week about how we are not just physical beings, but we are physical, spiritual, and relational

To relate is an inherent part of human existence

God created us to relate to him and to one another…

But because of sin, our relationships are often broken.

We gossip. We hold grudges. We make assumptions. We manipulate. We withdraw. We protect ourselves.

[Hook] And I am concerned for us that we might think that is normal - That the way we relate to one another, to the world, and to God does not need to look any different from the world.

But Jesus is going to show us a better way… And it is going to require us to repent, and to relate in a way that’s distinctly different from the world.

So we need to give these words our full attention

Matthew 7:1–12 ESV

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

These are God’s words for us this morning

Now, before we get to the big idea, you might be looking at the content of what we just read and wondering why we are covering all of it in one sermon

At first glance it looks like a bunch of random, unrelated sayings.

But I want you to notice v 1-2 and v. 12

Reciprocity - Don’t do this or it will be done to you… What you would want done to you, do to others…

Those two statements serve as bookends to mark off a single thought

And that word “So” in v. 12 is a marker of a logical connection - It is saying, “This is the conclusion of what comes before

So taking the together with the bookend nature of v. 1-2 and v. 12, v. 1-12 are a singular thought with a singular focus, which means it should be studies and preached as a single thought.

Make sense?

And the singular focus is our Big idea…

Big Idea: Gospel people must relate rightly, both inside and outside the church. (12:00)

As Gospel people in Phoenix, AZ in 2025, there is a right way to relate

There is a right kind of relationship between us and with our neighbors

And it will be uniquely different from how the world relates.

The fact of the matter is that the gospel is all transforming.

It transforms every aspect of my life - It changes what I desire, how I act, how I define right and wrong.

And it changes my relationships.

It transforms how I relate to God

It transforms all how I relate to believers and how I relate to non-believers

And we as Gospel people need to know it looks like so that we can be a people who are on God’s mission for God’s glory.

It is not optional - It must be true of us

[Bridge Question] What relationships define Gospel people, and how does Jesus call us to live rightly in each one?

Gospel people relate:

To one another with humble clarity (1-5) (14:00)

This section starts with the most quoted—and at the same time, most misunderstood—sentence in the history of mankind:

“Judge not, that you be not judged.”

You hear it all the time:

People correcting you… “Don’t judge.”… “Jesus says you can’t judge.”

Yes, He does say those words.

But we need to make sure we’re really clear on what He means.

Jesus isn’t saying it’s wrong to ever point out sin.

He’s talking about how we go about it.

The word “judge” here means to assess what you see and draw a conclusion.

And when it’s used about people, it carries the idea of condemnation.

Like, you are making a declaration about the state of their heart in relation to their actions.

What Jesus is saying is:

“Do not look at someone’s conduct, decide for yourself what it means about their heart, and then treat them accordingly.”

Examples

“Did you see what he did? And he calls himself a Christian.” “Did you see what she posted? No real Christ-follower would post that.”

To judge in this context is a kind of proud certainty—making claims about someone’s heart based on what you can see on the outside.

So, Jesus isn’t saying, “Never say anything when you see a problem in a fellow believer’s life.”

He is saying: never act like you know the substance of someone’s faith just because of how you perceive their actions.

Right?

Don’t look at someone’s actions and think less of them

And if you do, you are going to find that you are not so different.

Look at Verse 2:

“For with the judgment you pronounce, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

In other words, if you’re harsh and graceless toward others, expect the same standard to be applied to you.

Because the truth is it doesn’t take long to realize we’re all guilty of the same things we call out in others.

It doesn’t matter what sin you see in another person’s life… It exists in yours too…

Maybe it doesn’t look the same, maybe you are better at covering it up, maybe you are more skilled as justifying it

But the fact of the matter is that you and I are just as guilty of the same kinds of sins as we see in the lives of others.

And when we ignore our own sin and focus on the sins of others, all we’re really doing is proving that we are blind and can’t see clearly.

Look at verses 3–4. Jesus says:

“Why do you see the speck in your brother’s eye, but not notice the log in your own? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?”

He’s using hyperbole and humor here. It’s meant to sound ridiculous.

Imagine someone with a 2x4 sticking out of their face walking over to you saying,

“Hey, I think you’ve got something in your eye.”

And you’d look at them and say,

“Clearly you can’t help me—you can’t even see.”

In v. 4, Jesus is using a rhetorical question - “How could you even think that you are in a place to point out that speck when you don’t even notice that log?”

To put it another way: What makes you so confident that you can spot sin in the lives of others when you can’t even see it in your own life?

You see, when I relate with proud certainty, what I am actually revealing is that I can’t be trusted to rightly identify sin, because I cant see it in my own life.

So, what is the alternative?

We relate with humble clarity, not proud certainty.

Look at verse 5:

“First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

The key to relating rightly with one another is that we see our own sins first before we ever point them out in one another’s lives.

And it must be that way

Dealing with your own sin changes your heart toward the sin of others.

Having the log removed - Scar, pain, memory

You’ll go to the person with speck in a totally different, humble state.

When I see the sin in my own life, and I deal with it, the manner in which I go to another believer will be totally different.

You won’t say…

“You need to fix that.”

You’ll say,

“I know where that leads. I’ve lived it. And I don’t want that for you. Let me help you.”

That’s humble clarity. It’s not ignoring sin - Jesus says “take the speck out of your brother’s eye…”

It’s addressing it with the right heart - Seeing clearly to help.

Now, here is what this means for us:

If seeing clearly to help one another in our Christian life requires that I deal with the sin in my life first…

Then the best thing I can do for YOUR discipleship is to deal with MY sin first [REPEAT].

We often think the best thing for us is for you to change:

“Our church would be healthier if you would get it together.” “Our marriage would be better if you would change.” “My relationship with my kids or coworkers would be better if they would just listen.”

But Jesus says,

“No, It starts with you.”

Our church gets healthier when I repent. Our marriage will heal when I deal with our own heart. Our relationships change when I ask God to change me first.

And as God changes me, He often uses that to change you, too.

And we can then all see sin more clearly and deal with it together…

as we relate with one another in humility clarity.

So, that is how we relate inside the church, but the way we relate outside the church is different…

Gospel people relate…

To the world with wise discernment (6) [23:00]

At first glance this verse feels a bit like a riddle, and if we read it the way that we understand the images here, we will absolutely get it wrong

So the first thing we need to do is get clear on what the words mean so that we can then figure out what Jesus is getting at.

When we hear “dogs” - We often think of our furry friends that far too often get treated like people in our homes

Because for us, who love dogs, They are a regular part of our family

But I can assure you that in the first century no one referred to a dog as a “fur baby”

Dogs in the first century were wild, scavenging animals that would attack you if you got too close to them and eat whatever trash was thrown out in the street

So they were the image of violence

And pigs were considered unclean in the Old Testament law and the Jewish people had nothing to do with them

Dogs = Violence

Pigs = impurity

Are you with me so far?

So Jesus is using the terms dogs and pigs to refer to people who react violently and who love impurity

So then what is holy? And what are pearls?

What is holy is that which is set apart for God and later in the gospel of Matthew Jesus will refer to the message of the kingdom as the “pearl of great price”

So what is holy and pearls is referring to the message of the kingdom of God, which is a message of repentance, that calls us to be holy.

So, if we get through the imagery and just translate the actual thought of the verse, Jesus is saying:

“Do not carelessly throw a message of repentance and holiness at the feet of people who hate what is holy and who love what is impure.”

Do you see that?

There are people who, when presented with the gospel, respond with hostility or mockery.

They don’t just reject the message—they hate it. They get angry.

Why? Because they love their sin

That is what Jesus says in John 3:19–20 [Turn there?] “And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.”

Jesus is saying, “When someone shows you that they hate the Gospel message, believe them.”

Jesus is not saying, don’t engage the world with the Gospel

Sharing the message of the kingdom with the lost is an essential, non-negotiable of the Christian life.

What Jesus is highlighting that we need to be discerning in how we present the message of the gospel and with how we engage people in the world

I think that all of us have friends and relatives who don’t know Christ, who we desperately want to know Christ.

And as we share the message of the kingdom, there will be varying responses

Some will believe

Some will reject it

And Jesus is saying that we need to be discerning because the message of the Gospel is precious

So when someone treats it as worthless, we should take notice

It doesn’t mean we withdraw, but “lest they turn and attack you” it means that we do not force it on them.

Can I tell you the most freeing and encouraging reality about sharing the gospel with the people you love?

The response of the is not the responsibility of the speaker

Your job in sharing the gospel is not to convince the other person of its truth or to ensure that they respond the right way

Your job is to be a faithful representation of the gospel while communicating the hope of the gospel

And then trust God with their response

And we discern the next step based on their response

When we share the gospel with someone who rejects it because they hate what is holy and they love what is impure,

we can simply let our lives witness to the truth of the gospel,

trusting God to soften their hearts

and then if and when they become open to the message of the gospel,

then we can bring it to bear on their lives.

[Story about Kyle?]

We absolutely must be sharing the Gospel with our neighbors, family, and friends

But we must not do so recklessly

We should do so with wise discernment.

But listen… As we consider relating to people in the church and outside the church, what is clear is that we will need wisdom

Which leads us to the next relationship...

To God with confident trust (7-11) [30:00]

v. 7-11 Feel a bit out of place if we do not ask the right questions

These verses are focused on prayer…

So why did Jesus not bring this up when he talked about prayer in 6?

Or why did he not bring this up when he talked about our anxieties in 6?

Why is it that he brings this up now?

And what are the “good things” that God will give to us when we ask?

To understand where Jesus is going, we should turn over to James 1.

[As they turn] The book of James is steeped in the sermon on the mount - In fact, I would encourage you as we draw to a close on the sermon on the mount in the next month to read the book of James and see just how much it is connected to the sermon on the mount.

But we are just going to look at James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

Proverbs tells us that above all, we must get wisdom

We often think that the best things we could get are material (money, houses, vacations) but the best thing we could ask for is wisdom.

And look at what James says about God in James 1:17 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”

What is the good gift in the context?

The wisdom that comes from God

And notice - James says that God does not change

He is a good father, who gives good gifts to his children, specifically the gift of wisdom

So you can know that when you ask God for wisdom, he will give it.

Now, back to Matt. 7.

Why does Jesus bring this up where he does?

Because when we are wrestling with how to relate to others—engaging one another’s sin, encountering varying responses to Gospel, navigating broken relationships—we will need wisdom.

And Jesus is reminding us, “Ask… Seek… knock… God will answer and he will give you what you need for that moment.”

Look at the imagery he uses in v. 9-11 - [Read]

God is a good father who delights to give you what you need

As we relate to one another and to the world, when we ask God for the wisdom to do it well, he will give it.

When you have to confront that friend in his ongoing pattern of sin and you ask God to help you to see your own sin, to help you deal with your own sin, and to have the wisdom to lovingly and graciously point your friend toward repentance, God will do it

When you are going to that family get together and you have that relative who is so bitter toward the gospel and angry toward God, and you ask God for the wisdom to navigate those conversations as well, God will give it to you every time

When you feel like this conversation is a watershed moment in your relationship and could make or break our future together, the first thing you should do is ask God for wisdom because he gives generously.

I can tell you that I have never regretted asking God for wisdom

I can tell you that I have always regretted not asking him for wisdom

And you and I can be confident that as we navigate difficult relational moments, both with believers and nonbelievers, we can trust that God will give us the wisdom that we need

So, look ahead to this coming week

Where can you tell wisdom is going to be needed?

What conversations are looming that you have been dreading?

Ask God for wisdom, trusting confidently that he will give it to you and that you can relate with the believers in your life with humble clarity and you can relate with the non-believers in your life with wise discernment

And lastly… Gospel people relate…

To all with consistent compassion (12) [35:00]

Jesus brings this section of the sermon to its conclusion with a summary statement: “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

This command captures the kingdom ethic in a single sentence.

Often we treat others how we think they deserve to be treated, based on what they have done (or not done)…

But the ethic of the Kingdom of heaven is not based on merit, but on compassion

We don’t respond to people according to what they’ve earned or how they’ve treated us—but according to what we ourselves would long for in their place.

The world says, “Get even and make sure they pay for how they treated you”

The kingdom of God says, “How would you have wanted to be treated? Then do that for them.”

When you are in conflict with someone, how different it would go if rather than demanding that she see it your way, you responded to her based on what you would want her to do for you.

“In this moment I want her to hear me so I will make sure she is heard.”

“In this moment, I want him to listen, so I will listen.”

I would want him to think the best of my intentions, so I will think the best of his.

I would want her trust that I care about her heart, so I will trust that she cares about mine.

Oh that is so contrary to the way that the world does it, but that is the heart of life in the kingdom

And it will transform the way we relate to everyone

And this love for one another summarizes all of God’s commands to us

That I would “love my neighbor as myself.”

That’s why Jesus says, “For this is the Law and the Prophets” - Meaning all of God’s commands in the OT.

As we show compassion consistently, we reflect the God who is compassionate and kind.

So…

That thing that is happening right now in that relationship, what would it look like today for you to have compassion and prioritize doing for that person what you would want them to do for you?

As we show consistent compassion, we relate rightly with everyone.

[CONCLUSION]

We have to acknowledge as a church family that the reason why Jesus calls us to a different way of relating to one another and to God is because God first chose to relate to us and reconcile us to himself so that we can enjoy the relationship with him that we were created for.

When we were dead in our trespasses and sins, God made us live together in Christ Jesus and he has completely altered the way that we relate to God

And so we as his people, gathered in the name of his son Jesus, must be a people whose relationships are completely altered by the truth of the Gospel.

Relating to one another with humble clarity

Relating to the world with wise discernment

Relating to God with confident trust

Relating to everyone with consistent compassion

Because Gospel people must relate rightly, both inside and outside of the church.

Amen.

[43:00]