Acharei Mot-Kedoshim Drash 5785

Revere Your Mother and Father

As I read this weeks double Parshat I knew right away what this Drash would cover. Vayikra 19:3 immediately grabbed my attention. It reads Vayikra 19:3 ““ ‘Every one of you is to revere his mother and father, and you are to keep my Shabbats; I am Adonai your God.”

This verse encapsulates 2 of the most influential relationships a person will have in their life. Their relationship with their parents and their relationship with God, in other words their creators. I say it that way on purpose because, I do not think it is focused on rightly enough. They only mitzvah that is done hand and hand with our God is procreation. It is obedience to this mitzvah that created all of us.

The second half of this statement, “… and you are to keep my Shabbats...” I understand easily. Thanks to the Oral Torah we have detailed the 39 types of Melachot or prohibited labors, we are to avoid on Shabbat. These are obvious and easy to understand. Examples includes not to start fires on Shabbat, not to cook on Shabbat, not to make purchases on Shabbat, or cause your servants to work on Shabbat (in the modern day this is known as customer service).

The first part is hard to define “… revere his mother and father...”. This is hard to define, because honestly I get in my own way trying to revere my mother and father, and if we are going to be honest they get in the way too. I am both a son and a father and as a person who seeks truth even to the point of my own destruction I have to admit this; I make it hard for my children to revere me and I make it hard for myself to revere my parents. If I am to continue in honesty though, they have made it hard for me too.

There is a problem in the world today. People think it is OK to not communicate with their parents and/or children. Some people in the world have parents and/or children that have been absent or wicked to them. Some people have parents and/or children that have failed them. HaShem knew all of the bad parents and children that would exist and all the wickedness that would be done by them and yet stated ‘Every one of you is to revere his mother and father,...’. While I would not tell some one to endure abuse and attacks, we must be able to have the ability to reconcile with each other. More importantly than that HaShem said people are to revere their mother and father.

The last part of Vayikra 19:3 makes it easy to understand the why this is done.”… I am Adonai your God.” This is as plain as it can get. We keep the Shabbat and avoid starting fires, cooking making purchases and using anything that in the modern day we would call customer service because Adonai is our God. If we do not do this then we are just fooling ourselves he is not really our God and our own appetites and desires take precedence, meaning we are our own god. The same is true for having reverence for our mother and father. If we do not do that then we are just fooling ourselves and our own ego, pride, or sense of self takes precedence over our reverence for our parents.

In closing I want to point out the next verse in Vayikra 19:4 ““ ‘Do not turn to idols, and do not cast metal gods for yourselves; I am Adonai your God.” If we fail to honor our parents both earthly and heavenly, then what do we turn to? Idols and the greatest of these is the Idol that we take everywhere; ourselves. So tomorrow in the US we celebrate Mother’s Day. If you are able to do so, spend time with your mother, God says so.