Kindness to Bitterness

Sermon Title: From Kindness to Bitterness—and Back Again

How many of us have experienced moments of blessing—only to later feel abandoned by God during tragedy? This sermon I am speaking today is about a mother in the Bible who endured both great sorrow and great joy. Her original name was 'Kindness'—but she then asked people to be call her 'Bitterness.' Why? Because she believed God had abandoned her.

This story is about a lady named Kindness, or נָעֳמִי (Na-mi). She was a married woman who lived in the age of Samson, Deborah, Gideon, and many other judges. In her time, there was a famine, so her family—consisting of her husband and her two sons, decided to move to a different land. After ten years however, Kindness had lost her husband and her two sons and now was left with two daughters-in-law. Kindness decides that this is enough and choose to move back to her country of origin, with one daughter-in-law who decided to come along. There she changes her name to Bitterness because she felt that God had abandoned her.

I’m sure by now you know that the story I am telling you is the story of Ruth, more specifically Ruth 1. I used the meaning of her name. נָעֳמִי (Na-mi) means "kindness" and מַר (Mar) means "bitterness." In times of trouble, how many of us have felt bitter and believed God was against us?

A similar story that contains the story of Ruth would be about Azim Khamisa was the father of Tariq Khamisa, who died of gun violence. Now in this story, there are two different outcomes. Azim Khamisa could have chosen a life of bitterness and hated Tony Hanks, a 14-year-old boy who shot him. However, he chose to forgive him and befriended that boy. He also founded the Tariq Khamisa Foundation to help prevent similar tragedies from happening again. Jennifer, Tariq Khamisa’s fiancée however, could not handle what happened and decided to kill herself.

What is the point of the story? When you're faced with calamity, there are two options: to either be consumed by bitterness or to find solace in God and move on.

What does Naomi choose? We can see the answer in Ruth 1:19–21

Ruth 1:19–21 ESV

So the two of them went on until they came to Bethlehem. And when they came to Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them. And the women said, “Is this Naomi?” She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?”

Naomi choose to accept the bitterness. However, God is still there. In our lives, how many of us feel like we cannot see the end of the tunnel? That hopeless feeling that we are alone? However we are so consumed by our own thoughts that we cannot see all the blessings that God has given us. In this story, God does give Naomi a blessing—a daugher-in-law by the name of Ruth. Ruth decides to stay with her mother-in-law no matter what.

What is interesting to note is that...

The Seventh-day Adventist Bible Commentary, Volume 2, on Naomi's return says:

Oriental custom bound them to her, but she refused to press her claim to their service. She would not compel them to begin life anew in a strange land, but left them free to marry again and to set up their own homes. They need not devote their lives to taking care of the mother of their dead husbands, as would ordinarily have been expected of them. Naomi was an ideal mother-in-law; she did not press even her legitimate claims upon her daughters-in-law, but left them entirely free to make their own choices. In so doing, Naomi stands forth as an example all mothers-in-law would do well to emulate.

Naomi, despite being put down by her bitterness of what happened in her life, chooses to live on. Since she was going to Israel, she knew that the Moabite women would not have a good life in Israel, as Israel did not look favorably upon them due to their history together (Numbers 25:1–3). She chose to release them from the cultural ties that bound her daughters-in-law to herself.

Ruth 1:6–14 ESV

Then she arose with her daughters-in-law to return from the country of Moab, for she had heard in the fields of Moab that the Lord had visited his people and given them food. So she set out from the place where she was with her two daughters-in-law, and they went on the way to return to the land of Judah. But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go, return each of you to her mother’s house. May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. The Lord grant that you may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband!” Then she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept. And they said to her, “No, we will return with you to your people.” But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? Turn back, my daughters; go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons, would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me.” Then they lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.

Naomi’s reasoning, referring to having sons for her daughters-in-law to marry, refers to this law found in Deuteronomy 25:5–7:

Deuteronomy 25:5–7 ESV

“If brothers dwell together, and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the dead man shall not be married outside the family to a stranger. Her husband’s brother shall go in to her and take her as his wife and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her. And the first son whom she bears shall succeed to the name of his dead brother, that his name may not be blotted out of Israel. And if the man does not wish to take his brother’s wife, then his brother’s wife shall go up to the gate to the elders and say, ‘My husband’s brother refuses to perpetuate his brother’s name in Israel; he will not perform the duty of a husband’s brother to me.’

By choosing to release her daughters-in-law, Naomi chose to let them become free to remarry—to have a second chance in life and not be bound to her for the rest of their lives. Orpah, one of the daughters-in-law, chose to take this opportunity and returned to Moab to remarry. However, Ruth chose not to and resolutely stated that she would stick with Naomi no matter what.

Ruth 1:16–17 ESV

But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”

And so together they depart for Israel. Together arrive in Israel at the time of harvest so Ruth decides to glean for wheat so that they would have food to eat. The story picks up at Ruth 2:17–23, where Naomi learns Ruth has been working in the fields of Boaz.

Ruth 2:17–23 ESV

So she gleaned in the field until evening. Then she beat out what she had gleaned, and it was about an ephah of barley. And she took it up and went into the city. Her mother-in-law saw what she had gleaned. She also brought out and gave her what food she had left over after being satisfied. And her mother-in-law said to her, “Where did you glean today? And where have you worked? Blessed be the man who took notice of you.” So she told her mother-in-law with whom she had worked and said, “The man’s name with whom I worked today is Boaz.” And Naomi said to her daughter-in-law, “May he be blessed by the Lord, whose kindness has not forsaken the living or the dead!” Naomi also said to her, “The man is a close relative of ours, one of our redeemers.” And Ruth the Moabite said, “Besides, he said to me, ‘You shall keep close by my young men until they have finished all my harvest.’ ” And Naomi said to Ruth, her daughter-in-law, “It is good, my daughter, that you go out with his young women, lest in another field you be assaulted.” So she kept close to the young women of Boaz, gleaning until the end of the barley and wheat harvests. And she lived with her mother-in-law.

This is the moment in the story where we see Naomi start to change her perspective—from hopelessness to someone who can see the light at the end of the journey.

I’m not a parent, but from what I’ve heard my mother say: “It was rough in the beginning, but eventually it got better.” Too many times, we fall into hopelessness and bitterness that we cannot see what the end is. We lose hope and the fire that keeps us going. We become like Naomi at the beginning Ruth 1:21 “I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty...”” However, God is always there. He is there like Ruth, choosing to stick with us no matter what. Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.””

The best parallel of the story of my mother. The undying belief of my mother that she would be able to raise a young orphan. She was willingly to help me in my lowest and has always been there in my life no matter how far away we are from each other.

When I first met Mama, she was a lady I had no idea about. What I did know was that she was very excited to see me and to be a part of my life. In order to get me through school, she worked as many night shifts as she could and also picked up jobs at the school I went to. She was a janitor, librarian, principal, teacher, and mother to me all at the same time. One time particular memory that sticks out to me was when we were bicycling together to enjoy a Sabbath morning. However we lost control of our bikes and promptly crashed into each other. My mom completely disregarded her safety ran from her bike to mine to see if I was alright. Like Ruth my mom was there and thinking of others rather than herself. My mom has held up my sky, listened to my worries, and taught me who God is, and what it means to be loved.

1 Corinthians 13:4–13 ESV

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Coming back to the story of Naomi and Ruth, we slowly reach the climax of the story. A man by the name of Boaz seems to take a liking to Ruth. Naomi is eager about this, as he is a redeemer of their family. A redeemer or kins-man is someone who promises to help your family in case disaster strikes and bring them back to normalcy. In the case of Ruth and Naomi, he would help the family by marrying into the family so that the family can have descendants.

This man by the name of Boaz has the word גאל (ga'al) tied to him, which means “to redeem.” It is most commonly used in reference to how God constantly redeems His people of Israel. It can also be seen as meaning “to save” or “to rescue,” which is what Boaz is depicted as doing here.

Naomi sees him as a possible way to save her family and to find a future for her selfless daughter-in-law that does not involve her looking for scraps all her life.

Ruth 2:20 ESV

And Naomi said to her daughter-in-law, “May he be blessed by the Lord, whose kindness has not forsaken the living or the dead!” Naomi also said to her, “The man is a close relative of ours, one of our redeemers.”

In Chapter 3, we see Naomi telling her daughter-in-law how to ask Boaz to redeem the promise that was given to her family:

Ruth 3:1–4 ESV

Then Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, “My daughter, should I not seek rest for you, that it may be well with you? Is not Boaz our relative, with whose young women you were? See, he is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor. Wash therefore and anoint yourself, and put on your cloak and go down to the threshing floor, but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. But when he lies down, observe the place where he lies. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down, and he will tell you what to do.”

I was studying this in a commentary, and it was noted that Naomi had these specific instructions to let Boaz know Ruth was out of mourning for her dead husband and that she was willing to marry. That is why Ruth is suppose to wash and to anoint herself. Her goal is to prepare herself to marry Boaz. Curiously, this preparation is similar to 2 Samuel 12:20, where David prepares himself after mourning the death of his child. Perhaps this was Naomi’s way of telling Ruth to move on from her and to live her life—because she has so much more life to live for.

The plan succeeds. Ruth and Boaz marry and have a child. The child’s name is Obed, and this is the last we hear about Naomi:

Ruth 4:14–17 ESV

Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a redeemer, and may his name be renowned in Israel! He shall be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age, for your daughter-in-law who loves you, who is more to you than seven sons, has given birth to him.” Then Naomi took the child and laid him on her lap and became his nurse. And the women of the neighborhood gave him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi.” They named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David.

The ending of Naomi’s story is so different from what she believed in Ruth 1:19–21, where she cried to her town that God had abandoned her. In reality, God had just begun an amazing story of redemption and salvation.

In the light of Mother’s Day tomorrow, the story of Naomi and Ruth seems the most fitting. We see the power of a mother and the amazing grace of God. The story shows us how God impacts us—not with a booming voice saying “God did this”—but through the gentle unfolding of events. In order to see God working today we must be willing to see the picture as a whole rather than focus on one specific moment.

We see Naomi go from a woman who lost hope to someone who sees hope. How many of our lives reflect this same journey?

I know there was a time in college when I felt that I wasn’t called to be a pastor. But God sent people to show me otherwise. My college career is so similar to Naomi’s story—I went from hopeful to bitter, and finally, like her, I saw and still see how God has blessed me and is still blessing me.

How many of us relate to Naomi’s story? The story of being lost and bitter, yet being able to see how God has helped us?

God is always calling us to come to Him. Like Ruth, He will never leave us. How could He? He sent His only Son to die for our sins, and it is through Jesus’ blood that we are redeemed.

So I invite you to accept Jesus into your life. Be willing to accept that God is always with us and has already redeemed us.

Not only that—but I challenge you to go and send a text to someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Remind them that you still remember them.

God reminds us every day that He is there for us. So why can’t we do the same for someone else?