Family!!

Intro:

WHAT PERCENTAGE OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE?

Divorce can be an unsettling topic, especially when discussing marriages within the Christian faith. As difficult as it is to talk about, it is important to look at benchmarks to understand the prevalence of Christian divorce. Recent surveys and studies suggest that approximately 20 to 25 percent of Christian marriages end in divorce, with higher percentages reported among millennials and younger generations of believers. This raises the question of Why is the rate of Christian divorce increasing? In some cases, conflicting interpretations of the Bible or different personal beliefs may be a contributing factor; in others, it could merely be down to common relationship issues such as incompatibility or financial distress. Examining statistics are just one step towards understanding a complex issue - further research will help identify ways to bring these numbers closer together.

WHAT IS THE LEADING CAUSE OF DIVORCE AMONG CHRISTIANS?

While there is no single cause of divorce among Christians, various research studies have identified common underlying factors leading to marriage dissolution. In a review of both religious and general population data, researchers concluded that divorce rates among Christians are similar to those of the general population, indicating that marital dissolution is not necessarily due to a particular faith commitment. Factors such as infidelity, communication problems, substance abuse, financial stressors and unresolved prior conflicts were seen to be the leading causes of divorce among Christian couples across the board. While relationship dynamics can become strained for numerous reasons, it is important for all married couples to seek counseling and advice when seeking marital success.

HOW DOES THE CHRISTIAN DIVORCE RATE COMPARE TO THE SECULAR DIVORCE RATE?

The rate of divorce amongst Christian couples has been rising in recent years and is now comparable to the secular divorce rate. While it has long been assumed that Christian marriages were more stable than non-Christian unions, this data would suggest otherwise. That being said, there is still a slightly lower overall divorce rate amongst Christian couples when compared to the public at large, indicating that religious belief can still play a role in marital stability. Regardless of one's faith, however, understanding the underlying causes of marital discord is key in preventing unhappy unions from deteriorating into divorce.

I. The Central Unit

Genesis 2:15–25 CSB

15 The Lord God took the man and placed him in the garden of Eden to work it and watch over it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree of the garden, 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for on the day you eat from it, you will certainly die.” 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.” 19 The Lord God formed out of the ground every wild animal and every bird of the sky, and brought each to the man to see what he would call it. And whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all the livestock, to the birds of the sky, and to every wild animal; but for the man no helper was found corresponding to him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to come over the man, and he slept. God took one of his ribs and closed the flesh at that place. 22 Then the Lord God made the rib he had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 And the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called “woman,” for she was taken from man. 24 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame.

(15) The Lord determined where Adam would best be used. He placed him in the garden to do two things:

To work it

To watch it

(16-17) The Lord commissioned Adam to enjoy creation with boundaries.

Why would God construct boundaries for Adam?

(18) “It is not good that man be alone”

What can we learn about Man from this statement?

(18) God says “I will make a helper “corresponding to him”

Genesis 2:18 (CSB)

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.”

Genesis 2:18 NASB95

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

Genesis 2:18 NKJV

18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Comparable-One who is like him or suitable for him. Man was perfect but deficient. Everything needed to complete God’s plan

the best way to understand this Hebrew word related to marriage is of two puzzle pieces that by themselves are incomplete but together they create a picture.

Complementarian: is the theological view that although men and women are created equal in their being and personhood, they are created to complement each other via different roles and responsibilities as manifested in marriage, family life, religious leadership, and elsewhere. It is rooted in more literal interpretations of the Creation account and the roles of men and women presented in Scripture. It is also known as the Traditionalist or Hierarchical view.

1 Corinthians 11:3 CSB

3 But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.

Egalitarianism: The broadest meaning of egalitarianism is that all people are inherently equal and ought to be treated as such. When used as a doctrinal term within Christianity, egalitarianism has a narrower meaning, suggesting that God does not intend any distinctions between men and women in matters of spiritual leadership. Biblical Christianity is Western civilization’s basis for the former definition, but Scripture opposes the latter. All people are morally and spiritually equal, with identical value, and ought to be offered the same opportunities.

Galatians 3:28 CSB

28 There is no Jew or Greek, slave or free, male and female; since you are all one in Christ Jesus.

(18) God says “man you need a helper”

What does man need help with?

Genesis 1:26–28 CSB

26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, the whole earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.” 27 So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God; he created them male and female. 28 God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and every creature that crawls on the earth.”

(26) God created man in his image and likeness.

What did he mean by this?

(27) He created them “male and female” This is critical.

Does it make sense now why Satan would attack this distinction?

(28) God gives them a five-fold command:

Be Fruitful-Be productive

Multiply-Have Children

Fill the Earth-Spread out throughout the Earth

Subdue it-Use the resources of the Earth for your human survival

Rule over it-Don’t let anything from creation rule over you. (This is a warning against idolatry) Things of the earth are meant to be used not worshipped.

God determined that Man would need a helper if he is to be obedient to this five-fold command.

Genesis 2:20–25 CSB

20 The man gave names to all the livestock, to the birds of the sky, and to every wild animal; but for the man no helper was found corresponding to him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to come over the man, and he slept. God took one of his ribs and closed the flesh at that place. 22 Then the Lord God made the rib he had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 And the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called “woman,” for she was taken from man. 24 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame.

(24) The man is too leave his familial relationship and cling or grab hold of his new wife.

Summation:

God gave the man a job within the context of specific boundaries

God gave Adam daily commands to be obedient too.

God created a helper(one like him) yet different. A complement not a copy.

God created marriage as a means to propagate his kingdom through child birth and then spread.

Man is to leave his home not just physically but also emotionally. The Man’s Father, Mother, or Siblings are not longer his primary responsibility his new wife is, then his children

Structure in the home

The Wife:

Ephesians 5:22–24 CSB

22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, 23 because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:33 CSB

33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.

What’s was God’s demand for the wife?

The Husband:

Ephesians 5:25–30 CSB

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of his body.

Ephesians 5:33 CSB

33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.

What is God’s demand for the Man?

The Children

Ephesians 6:1–4 CSB

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, because this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, 3 so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land. 4 Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

What is God’s demand for the children?

Obey brings Honor to the Parents.

Children don’t come out the womb obedient they will need to see this modeled and this needs to be taught.

Remember your child’s greatest need is not self esteem, opportunities, or positive feedback. Their greatest need is Salvation. So generally everything yall do with the kids should ultimately point them towards their need for God.

What is God’s warning to the father’s?

These commands from Paul were not meant to oppress. They were meant to bring order which is the best way for growth to happen. Growth does not happen within the context of Chaos.

Marital Contract vs. Covenant

The difference between a contract and a covenant can be illustrated in current attitudes about marriage. Some people approach marriage as a contract between two parties. They both willingly enter into the marriage contract, and, later, if one or both of them want to exit the relationship, they simply negotiate the payments and penalties (alimony, splitting property, custody agreement for kids, etc.) and move on without any moral stigma. Some couples go into marriage with a prenuptial agreement that outlines, before the couple is even married, how the payments and property will be split in a divorce. Biblically speaking, marriage is not a contract but a covenant between two people with God and the rest of the community as witnesses. One should not enter marriage with an eye to what will happen if or, in the case of some couples, when the marriage is dissolved. Marriage is meant to be for life, and there is always a moral component and a moral failing, by one or both parties, when a marriage fails. The breaking of the marriage covenant involves the violent separation of the “one flesh” that was created by the marriage

While a contract is legally binding, a covenant is a spiritual agreement. A contract is an agreement between parties while a covenant is a pledge. A contract is an agreement you can break while a covenant is a perpetual promise. You seal a covenant while you sign a contract.

The covenant is ratified in blood not a signature.

What behavior breaks the covenant?

Romans 7:2 CSB

2 For example, a married woman is legally bound to her husband while he lives. But if her husband dies, she is released from the law regarding the husband.

(2) Death in one reason for the breaking of this blood covenant

Matthew 19:3–10 CSB

3 Some Pharisees approached him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female, 5 and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked him, “did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?” 8 He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts, but it was not like that from the beginning. 9 I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.” 10 His disciples said to him, “If the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it’s better not to marry.”

(9) Sexual Immorality breaks the relationship. Adultery. Breaks the covenant. This scripture does not command a divorce it simple opens it up as an option

1 Corinthians 7:12–15 CSB

12 But I (not the Lord) say to the rest: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce her husband. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy by the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace.

Desertion-This is when one of the people in the relationship says I am done and there is no turning back. They don’t want counseling nor are they interested in working through things. In these cases the word says release them because by keeping them it will cause undue conflict in your home.

What about physical or sexual abuse?

What about illegal activity? ie drug dealing, extortion, or fraud

Other than these reason any divorce would be unlawful in the site of God and the it would break would God put together.