Men’s Breakfast

We are Christ’ helper Shepherd’s within our families.

McKinlee asking in the car… if the people within a church are the sheep, what does that make Daddy and Pastor Nathan?

Makes us the Shepherds He has placed over the flock to take care of the sheep.

“I thought Jesus is our Shepherd?”

Correct, but God has appointed people like daddy and Pastor Nathan to be Overseers, or Shepherds with Jesus as our head Shepherd.

“So you’re kind of like a helper Shepherd?”

That’s exactly right.

Over the past few months I have been reading the book Exemplary Husband with a few guys and one of the topics that it does a great job of fleshing out is revealing the need for husbands to be reminded of their responsibility to be good Shepherds.

Thought this would be a good topic for this morning.

We are in fact as Husbands and or Fathers God’s helper Shepherds He has appointed over the families that we have been entrusted to care for.

It is a great responsibility when you think about the gran thought of it… we have been given a women who’s Father is the God of the universe.

We are on this lifelong date with His daughters (our wives) in which not only has He told us to be sure to bring her back safely, but He has also commands us to bring her back having been built up in His ways and truths. And if we don’t bring her back in this way… there will be judgment.

We have also been given these precious children who have also been demanded back by their REAL FATHER at their appointed time having been disciplined and instructed in His ways.

THIS IS A GREAT RESPONSIBILITY.

One in which we cannot conjure up our own method of doing this or else we are bound for immediate failure.

Many of us are bound for failure if we think that it’s good enough to go about it like our fathers before us did it in their lives.

… Even if our fathers did a great job in the worlds perspective… we know that they even still were very flawed men who made it their aim to reflect the model which is the ONLY MODEL we should reflect in this job responsibility… and that is Jesus.

JESUS IS THE ONLY MODEL OF WHICH WE SHOULD BE TAKING FROM AND LEARNING FROM IN OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO CARE FOR AND SHEPHERD OUR WIVES AND CHILDREN NO MATTER HOW OLD THEY MAY BE…

I make this distinction because of how easy it is for us as men to look at other fathers and think… man i’m not doing as well as he in this area, or man… I’ve got this in the bag compared to that guy over there… (look at him, he’s not treating his wife well, he’s being short with his children… i’m in a good spot compared to that guy.)

The ONLY STANDARD OF WHICH WE SHOULD BE COMPARING OURSELVES TO IS THE WORD OF GOD WHICH TOOK ON FLESH.

As much as possible, we want our leadership to reflect His leadership.

We need to have similar qualities as the Shepherding that is done by God in our lives.

We need to strive for those same qualities in our homes with our families.

When thinking about the word Shepherd… it really brings our leadership into perspective.

We are not kings. high above everybody else in the house hold.

We are lowly shepherds… doing the bidding for the chief shepherd in Christ.

Yes, we have authority, but authority is not the goal.

Our authority is a means to God’s glorification in our homes.

its a means to caring for our wives, caring for our children. Doing the will of God.

Our authority is only one aspect of our relationship with our wives…

We must remember that we are also partners and companions.

We should not dwell on this AUTHORITY TOO MUCH.

AUTHORITY IS SOMETHING YOU EXERCISE WHEN YOU HAVE TO…

It’s not something to where we are constantly having to remind people of our authority. If we’re leading well, they know who their leader is. There should be no convincing. (I’ve been around a lot of leaders, and this is a true concept.)

We do not RULE OVER OUR FAMILIES AS KINGS AND LORD OF ALL.

Our perspective should not be that we love to rule, but that we rule to love.

Jesus identifies Himself as the good Shepherd in John 10:11

John 10:11–15 ESV

11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.

We see in the way that Jesus Shepherds this loving care for His sheep.

And we see in Jesus this willingness to protect His sheep, even to the point of laying down His life for his Sheep.

One of the ways we can flesh out a little bit of what it means to take on the model of Jesus is by looking at the ministry of the Apostle Paul who modeled his own ministry after that of Jesus.

When he met with the Ephesian elders for the last time… it was this deeply moving reunion and it gave us this clear picture of how Paul Shepherd his flock.

Paul was a shepherd who practiced what He preached.

He was an evangelist, theologian, a devoted pastor and shepherd.

He had many QUALITIES OF A GOOD SHEPHERD that He gained from the life of Jesus.

A Humble Heart

Paul reflected the fruit of the Spirit in all of his relationships.

Galatians 5:22–23 ESV

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Acts 20:18–19 ESV

18 And when they came to him, he said to them: “You yourselves know how I lived among you the whole time from the first day that I set foot in Asia, 19 serving the Lord with all humility and with tears and with trials that happened to me through the plots of the Jews;

Acts 20:31 ESV

31 Therefore be alert, remembering that for three years I did not cease night or day to admonish every one with tears.

A Brave Heart

Paul never compromised His message because of fear or to avoid rejection.

Acts 20:19–20 ESV

19 serving the Lord with all humility and with tears and with trials that happened to me through the plots of the Jews; 20 how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house,

Acts 20:27 ESV

27 for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God.

A Gentle Heart

And when there seemed to be “opponent” to His message and the Word of God…

Paul instructed Timothy ministering in Ephesus that the Lord’s servant must “correct his opponents with gentleness” in the hope that…

2 Timothy 2:25–26 ESV

God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

A Protective Heart

He also instructed all to guard against Satan’s evil attacks.

He taught that we all need accountability for both Shepherds and everybody else in the body of Christ.

Acts 20:28 ESV

28 Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.

A Pure Heart

Paul also pursued a pure heart.

He was above reproach when it came to the finances and he made sure of this and that other believers knew this in which he was working with. He made sure of it that nobody misinterpreted his motives.

Acts 20:33–34 ESV

33 I coveted no one’s silver or gold or apparel. 34 You yourselves know that these hands ministered to my necessities and to those who were with me.

This doesn’t mean that Paul did not accept money, or that he thought that Christians or church leaders should not.

But he did believe in going the extra mile to avoid being accused of taking advantage of others financially or the view of you yourself having no integrity in your financial deals.

Here are a couple of principles to live by that I wanted to encourage you all in moving forward as a Shepherd…

Principle #1: To communicate God’s truth to others, we must model God’s truth

1 Corinthians 11:1 ESV

1 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.

1 Thessalonians 2:10 ESV

10 You are witnesses, and God also, how holy and righteous and blameless was our conduct toward you believers.

In order to communicate these truths… they are not going to be received if we ourselves are not doing the very things we are teaching.

This is one of the reasons why my middle sister has pushed off the thought of God, or the church… she has stated as much that its because of witnessing my step father and my mother for so many years saying one thing and then doing another.

If we want our children, our wives to love Christ. We must not merely tell them to love Christ… but we must LOVE CHRIST OURSELVES…

We must be living the thought of wanting to glorify Christ more than I want to breathe.

You want them to pray. You must pray.

You want them to be kind to others. You must be kind to others.

You want them to share their faith. You must share your faith.

You want them to read their bible. You must be reading your bible.

This is HUGE FOR FATHERS…

How many people have you heard about of that which have a hard time being able to fathom a loving perfect Father because of having a non-loving, non caring, prideful, selfish father. They have developed this distorted view of God.

The only way for children,, and some adult children to comprehend a invisible father is to see the father in us.

Maybe your children are grown now and maybe you have seen this truth play out in your life…

Know brother that you can begin or continue to win your adult children over to the Lord by the way in which you model the love that you want them to have for the Lord.

Principle #2: All Christians should set their hearts on reflecting qualifications for good shepherds.

When Paul wrote to Timothy and Titus, he specifies qualities that should be characterized in those who are selected as elders/overseers in the church…(1 Tim. 3:1-7; Ti. 1:5-9)

This is the list when you combine the two…

above reproach (having a good reputation)

husband of one wife.

self-controlled (words and actions)

sensible (being wise and humble)

respectable (serving as a good role model)

hospitable

able to teach

not an extensive drinker

not arrogant

not hot tempered (avoiding wrath that becomes sinful

not a bully

not quarrelsome

gentle

not greedy

one who manages his own household competently

loving what is good

righteous (just and fair)

holy

not a new convert

Some might say… these qualities are for spiritual leaders!

This is true…

Paul however has simply given these men a profile of which to they can measure their maturity in the Lord.

These are all qualities in which he mentions in other parts of scripture where he is telling ALL CHRISTIANS TO MODEL.

These qualities are what make a man a good husband, father, employer, neighbor…

these are not merely the qualities that only a good pastor should have. BUT ALL SHEPHERDS WITHIN EACH HOUSEHOLD…

HOW ARE YOU BEING HELD ACCOUNTABLE TO THESE QUALITIES?

Who is your brother… in which you have given the rights to hold you accountable to these qualities?

(Pastor Nathan and I have a set of questions we ask each other each Monday in accountability. Just because we’re Pastors doesn’t mean that we should be the only ones doing this…)

Who if your brother in which you have given the go ahead to be this for you?

You should be asking each other probing questions…

Our question list…

Personal devotion & prayer (rate)

Joyful family time and marital harmony (rate)

Working/resting unto the Lord (rate)

Healthy eating and exercise (rate)

Have you lived on mission, leveraging your life for others? (rate)

All financial dealing with integrity?

Have you viewed any sexually explicit material? Have you entertained any inappropriate fantasies in your thought life?

Kept the commitment to CHBC staff/elder moral offenses?

Any clarification needed? Any sin confessed?

An question that needs to be asked for accountability reasons next time?

Let’s take this helper shepherd responsibility that we’ve been given seriously.

Seek out accountability.