What It Takes To Be A Good Mother

Scripture

Matthew 22:37–40 KJV 1900

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Introduction

I’m sure you noticed by now that it is mothers day. This is the day we celebrate mothers. Now I do have a mother, but I don’t know much about motherhood and my knowledge will always be limited on that front. I would tell you that I have the best mother. Last year I told you about some things my mother taught me. She taught me to do my best at whatever I was doing. Now just because I was taught something, does not mean I learned it well! Any parent here today will know how true that is. My mother taught me to live carefully. She taught me that Obedience is better than sacrifice. Even though my dad is a Bible teacher it was from my mother that each day taught me lesson in practical theology that I try to teach to others today. I spent a good portion of last years sermon explaining how good my mother is. And she is. She is a wonderful mother. But I did not always think that. In fact when I was a teenager I would have traded her for any other mother out there. So just a quick word of encouragement to parents. If your kid’s don’t like you very much right now that does not mean that you aren’t doing a good job! That’s pretty normal.

Bad Mothers

Athaliah (Sacrificing your children for your own desires)

Normally on Mothers day we look at good examples from scripture. I want to do the opposite this evening. I want to look at some bad mothers in the Bible. The first is found 2 Kings 11:1 “And when Athaliah the mother of Ahaziah saw that her son was dead, she arose and destroyed all the seed royal.” Did you catch that. This is a mother who when she saw the chance to become Queen killed her children and grandchildren. That is a bad mother! When we say that motherhood takes sacrifice we do not mean literally killing your children for political gain. Now as we know a small child was rescued and 6 years later Athaliah faced justice.

Why was she a bad mother? Well because she killed her children and grandchildren. But why did she do that? She sacrificed her children for her own desires.

Herodias (Using your children for your own goals)

In Mark 6 we read of a story that we only need to hear once for us to remember it. John the Baptist was imprisoned by Herod for preaching against his marriage to his brothers wife. Herod seemed to like John or at least fear him, yet Herodias, Herods’ illegitimate wife hated John for condemning their marriage. When her daughter was promised a gift from Herod, instead of advising her on what she should ask for herself, Herodias saw a chance to get what she wanted. She told her daughter to ask for John’s head on a platter. I cannot assume that this girl had any desire for that! Yet an opportunity was taken from her just to advance her mothers goals.

This was similar to Athaliah sacrificing her children, but not quite the same. She took her daughters opportunity and made it about her. She used her child for her own goals.

Some Good Mothers

Hannah (Sacrificing her child for God)

Sacrifice is part of motherhood and that is exemplified. For Athaliah, she did not go wrong by sacrificing her children. She went wrong by sacrificing them for herself. Hannah is an example in the Old Testament of a mother who when God blessed her with a child she fulfilled her promise to God and gave the child back to God.

Mary (Sacrificing her own plans for her children's benefit)

Ryan talked this morning a bit about Mary the mother of Jesus. I’m sure Mary had an idea of what her life would be like just before the angel showed up. She was going to be married to a hardworking carpenter. Together they would raise a family, and they would worship God and love and take care of each other. She and Joseph would grow old together and then she would die peacefully surrounded by family.

That is not what happened. What happened to Joseph? We are not sure, the Bible doesn’t say and neither does history, but it seems likely that he died young. She watched her oldest son be crucified, she may have lived to see another of her children martyred.

The angel came to Mary and told her that her plans were not going to be, that God had something entirely different for her. Something special, but also something that would immediately stigmatize her and ruin her idyllic life. How did she respond? Luke 1:38 “And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.” She certainly did not know all it would entail to be part of God’s redemptive plan, but she willingly sacrificed her own plans to put her children’s benefit and purpose first.

Tying in our Text

How does our text fit in with Mothers day? The great commandment, Bad mothers, good mothers. What is the connection?

Does anyone ever have doubts? I do. I do not have doubts about God, but I do have doubts about me. It struck me that perhaps Mother’s have doubts. It struck me that they certainly do! That when children disobey, are disrespectful, or leave the paths that they have been raised in that it is only natural for a mother to wonder if it is her fault? If she did her part? If she was a good mother.

Like I said, I have a good mother. I don’t know, but I would guess there were times where she wondered and had doubts. There was a point where some of her children were not serving God. Where some of her children were confused and some of her children were a little lost in life. There was a point where you could easily poke holes in each of her children’s lives and tell her that she failed. I would guess that Satan did that. But that was a lie. She wasn’t a failure. And that is not determined by the fact of us doing better today. Not at all.

The Sermon on the Mount points out that it is not about results! It is about something else entirely! Jesus pointed out that no one had to kill anyone else to be a murderer, it only had to be in the heart.

What does God expect from us? What is the sum of all the law and prophets? Love. That’s all. Love God, and Love others as yourself.

Does that mean as Christians that we never make mistakes? Does it mean we never have to put it in reverse and back up? Does it mean we never do anything foolish? Of course not. People mess up. People have to go back and make things right. People are going to make foolish choices. God does not expect us to always get everything right. God want’s us to always love him.

Being A Good Mother

In that light what does it mean to be a good mother? How can mothers, and fathers make sure that they are more like Hannah and Mary than Athalia or Herodias?

The first thing that separated Hannah and Mary was their love for God. Before they ever were parents they loved God. Nothing was more important to them than God. That’s the first step. Athaliah and Herodias loved themselves more than God. They were their own idols.

The next thing is that Hannah and Mary loved their children. When choices came to be made between good for their children or their own desires, they chose their children.

Now do you think that Mary ever messed up? Do you think she ever got anything wrong in raising Jesus? I think it was in Youth Bible study I talked about submitting to authority and how that begins at home. I talked about Jesus, and how He was perfect and how His mother wasn’t! Jesus never sinned! Now their are various ideas about how Jesus was as a child and I don’t want to get into all that, but Jesus is God. Mary is human. Yet Jesus submitted to her authority in his life! I believe that she did mess up, and she did it knowing that she was raising the Messiah. That had to be an impossible weight! But was Mary a good mother? Yes!

I think being a good mother holds the same requirement as being a Christian. I do not think God expects more of our relationships with our children than He does with our relationship with Him. He doesn’t ask us to be superhuman to fulfill His law. He only asks that we love Him.

I believe that every mother who loves her children is a good mother. The number of mistakes, the times you messed up, the times you got it wrong, those are not what determine how good of a mom you are.

I am not a mother. I never will be. But I have one. She messed up. She got things wrong. She punished us when we didn’t deserve it. She probably let us off the hook when we needed punished, although I don’t remember that ever happening! My brothers would even tell you she played favorites! She didn’t. She wasn’t perfect. She had bad days! She got worn out, she got discouraged. Her kids weren’t always obedient. Her house wasn’t always clean. Most of what she taught went unheeded. But last year I preached a whole sermon just to tell you how wonderful she is. Because I have a wonderful mother and I sure hope she lasts longer than I do because I don’t know what I would do without her.

What am I trying to get across? In one sentence. If you love your kids you are a good mother. We all have ideas and ideals and that is good! It is good to aim up, to have high goals, but when you get discouraged just know that God doesn’t expect you to be a perfect parent and if you love your children I believe that you are what God would call a good mother.