Freedom From - Shame

Freedom From Shame

Psalm 51

How many of you are in this room are dog people? Maybe you own one, have owned one, or you do not have one but you absolutely love them. Putting this out there now….. There is absolutely zero question, dogs are significantly better than cats. End of discussion….

So growing up, I had a family dog named Frannie. Frannie was a big, fluffy goldendoodle but was not your average dog. I swear she was part human. She was also so, so, so weird and so awkward. She never really looked anyone in the eye, she was a little neurotic, and was not the friendliest dog in the world when it came to meeting strangers. But she was a really good family dog and we loved her dearly.

Frannie was pretty well behaved for the most part. Sat around, slept, was pretty lazy, would go for a walk and end up falling behind like before we even left the driveway. She was just a big bum. She rarely ever chewed things or ate anything but when she did….. She knew immediately that she did something wrong. There was this one time that my mom came home and usually Frannie would greet us at the door and be super happy but I guess this time she did not come to the door and was acting a little shady… My mom proceeds to walk into the kitchen only to find a half eaten stick of butter on the counter top….. She walked into the mudroom where Frannie was and she put her head down and literally tried hiding from her. Check this video out.

That is honestly one of my favorite videos. She's so guilty. The funniest part is her totally avoiding eye contact and trying to hide. But then the second my mom bent down to her, she stuck her paw out and was like "I'M SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME”. It was a prime example of what it looks like to be caught and feel guilty and shameful for what happened.

When thinking through this story and the passage that I am preaching on tonight, it made me think of us as people. How often do we hide our faces and try to blend in when we are caught in sin or caught doing something wrong? And the second someone offers us forgiveness, typically, we admit that we were wrong and accept it.

(NEED/BIG IDEA) Tonight, the theme of this message is shame and how Jesus offers us freedom from shame. I tell all of you this because I know so many of us struggle with being stuck in shame because we think that our sins are too deep to confess or to ask for forgiveness for. We think we are too far gone, that nobody would understand, and then we get stuck in the continued spiral of feeling sorry for ourselves and we end up stuck in sin. The reality is that sin leads to shame…. And shame leads to more sin! If not handled correctly, shame can consume your mind and make you feel eternally trapped in sin. The truth is, there is a way out. My big idea for us tonight is if you want to find freedom from shame, we must live with a repentant heart. Living with a repentant looks like - Remembering God’s Heart and Restoring your Praise.

We are going to be looking at what the bible has to say about this from Psalm 51. If you are familiar with this Psalm, this is a prayer of repentance and a plea for restoration from King David after he had just committed adultery with Bathsheba and then led her husband, Uriah, into death on the battlefield. David commits these sins, and is blinded by his shame to admit that he is wrong. He is then approached by the prophet Nathan and Nathan shares this story with David about a man who had everything yet still took something from another man to use as his own. David is infuriated at this story then Nathan calls him out saying “YOU are this man! You had everything going for you! You are the king! You’re victorious, yet you deliberately sinned against God and now you must pay the penalty for your sin”. At this moment, just as my dog Frannie hid her face when she was caught in her mistake, this is when David realizes OH NO….. what have I done!

I want to walk us through how David found freedom from his shame in Psalm 51. Verses 1-9 read:

Psalm 51 1-9 CSB - READ IT FROM YOUR BIBLE - TOO LONG TO FIT ON PAPER

If you are a note taker, here is your first point. If you want to be free from shame, Remember God's Heart.

Looking at verses 1-9, David openly confesses that he had sinned against God and seeks forgiveness for what he has done. In verses 2-4 he says, “Completely wash away my guilt and cleanse me from my sin. For I am conscious of my rebellion, and my sin is always before me. Against you, YOU ALONE, I have sinned and done this evil in your sight. So you are right when you pass sentence; you are blameless when you judge.”

Shame about your sin can be devastating if you do not repent and seek forgiveness. It can come in and destroy peoples lives. In my life, I lived in a constant state of shame, which led to me NEVER confessing my sin, which led me to be even more addicted to my sin. Candidly, the sin that I was most shameful about was pornography. It ate me alive. It led to destructive habits in my day to day, my eyes were always wandering, I was always trying to seek pleasure in relationships, and I was so embarrassed to admit that it was a massive, massive struggle in my life. I was so ashamed. My dad would always ask me how I was doing with it, but because of my fear of what might happen if I told the truth, I always just lied and said I was good! Then with my small group, I would confess that I was struggling but would never share how bad I truly was. I would lie and hide how deep this struggle actually was. It was a sin in my life that I only let a few people know about but even then, I was hiding how severe it was. I would lie to myself that it wasn’t that bad but deep in my soul I knew I was stuck.

I was so ashamed. I was so afraid. I thought that hiding in the dark would be the way to go but it only led me farther and farther into self doubt and even more sin. Let me tell you guys something. The devil wants you to believe that you are alone in your sin. That you are stuck and that there is no way out.

You will never find freedom or deliverance from shame if you are stuck believing this lie that you are alone with no way out. There is freedom to be found when you live in the light of God’s heart! To remember who he is! He is for us. He forgives us. He has the power to punish us for our sins but gives us a chance for repentance before any of that. His heart is loving and compassionate. That is what David is recognizing in the beginning of this chapter! He knows and reminds himself that our God is a God that cleanses and purifies and restores!

Think about physical darkness. When the lights are off and you cannot see anything, or if you are outside on a cloudy night with no moonlight, you literally cannot see. You feel alone, you hear creepy sounds, everything frightens you, you may get lost and run into things….. Then the moment the light appears, you have a sense of direction, you may still be alone but you know that you can see that you are safe, you can find other people around or near you. You can see that the situation is not as bad as it seems. Living in the light of Christ’s goodness and faithfulness is remembering that his heart is for us. We can live in the light because he is faithful to forgive us.

Romans 8:1 says, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus”. If you are in Christ, You are free! You are not to be ashamed!

Oftentimes, when talking about shame, we hear the word guilt as well…

Here is something that I want you all to know. Feeling GUILTY is different from feeling ashamed (JMC QUOTE). Guilt is a feeling you get when you do something wrong. You sin, you mess up, and you clearly know that what you did was wrong. Or if you’re my dog, Frannie, you eat butter and the second mom catches you, you hide your face and know you’re wrong. SHAME, is a feeling that your whole BEING is wrong. You believe that YOU are the problem. Guilt is a result of conviction from your sin, shame is a result of a lie from the enemy regarding your sin. Shame is a feeling that leads us deeper and deeper into sin. David initially sinned by committing adultery, he then tried hiding his sin, by doing that, he was tempted to kill. With every step he thought was right, he continued down a path of deep sin. Until, he was approached by the prophet Nathan and humbled by his sin, which led to him to the prayer that he prayed and that we see in psalm 51.

He did not begin to experience freedom from the shame he was feeling until he began to confess and admit what he did. His sin was haunting him. He hated it. He was crying out in DEEP anguish and deep repentance. He agreed that God is the ultimate judge and that all sin, no matter how deep, is able to be cleansed. God is not turning his face away from you, so don’t think you have to hide your face from him. Hiding will only create more and more shame. None of us are perfect, but all of us are able to experience his grace and forgiveness if we confess. Confession is just the beginning. Confession is not an excuse to continue living in shame, confession should be the motivation which pushes us to worship God for the freedom he provides.

Let's go back to the text. Psalm 51: 10-19

My second point of the night. If you want to be free from shame, Restore your Praise.

Restore the praise that you have been lacking. Verses 10-17 highlight what David is craving, what he is desiring. That is a renewed spirit and a heart that worships the King. He says restore the joy of your salvation to me. Remember back to that time you first gave your life to Jesus and think about the abundance of joy you felt! Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise! When confessing and worshiping, shame, doubt, fear of rejection, fear of disappointment, they all go away. When your eyes are fixed on the good that the Lord offers amidst the weight of shame, you begin to think about the freedom you have rather than the bondage you had.

The only thing God wants from us is a spirit that is broken and willing to be healed. Verse 17, probably my favorite verse of all time, highlights the way God works. “The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. You will not despise a broken and humbled heart, God.”. He is not asking for us to make these huge sacrifices! He is not asking us to go out and be really good people so that our shame will magically go away. He wants us to be in a place of complete surrender and reliance upon him and his grace.

I talked about this a few weeks ago when speaking about being free from anxiety. In my opinion, and some experiences, anxiety and shame go hand in hand. Usually, when you’re really really anxious, there most likely is shame built up in your heart. It’s a dark and hard place to be. It’s hard to find joy, it’s hard to be yourself, and it’s hard to admit that you need help. But taking the step, first admitting to God that you need freedom, but then admitting to your brothers and sisters in Christ, are the steps to being free from shame.

Is there an addiction in your life that you are ashamed of? Last week the topic was pornography. Maybe you’re sitting here thinking to yourself, “man I am stuck and I was too ashamed to confess with my small group last week…” LET TONIGHT BE THAT NIGHT! Is there a relationship in your life that you are ashamed of? Are you ashamed or embarrassed of your faith? Are you ashamed of your family? There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ. I’m telling you guys from experience and I’m telling you guys because it is true. Confession and worship are steps that lead to being free from shame. Walk around your houses, your school, your lives, living with the joy of the freedom you have in Christ. You are not slaves to the lies Satan tries to speak over you. We have the privilege and the opportunity to accept the freedom that is being offered to us from the gospel of Jesus Christ.

This whole series, “freedom from” has really been rooted around a main theme. Repentance. Confessing sin. Walking in the FREEDOM of being in a relationship with Jesus.

Rucksack image - we have the opportunity to drop the weight that shame brings. As I said before, sin leads to shame, and shame leads to more sin, which leads to more shame, which leads into a death spiral that feels eternally entrapping. I brought this bag to put this in perspective. This bag is the weight of your shame. All these items are all the sins that we stuff and hold onto. You mess up once. Shove it in the bag. Mess up again, shove it in the bag. Again, shove it in, again, again, again, again. The bag gets so heavy and you want to drop it so badly but you strap it up and keep walking until you feel like you have to crawl your way through life to eliminate the pain that the weight is causing. All along the journey, you have the opportunity to drop it but the shame you are feeling makes it seem impossible. The second someone comes along to take the weight, you cry out and say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. But Jesus wants to bear that burden for you. He wants to hold the weight that is weighing you down so intensely and so heavily. There is freedom being offered to you right now.

Remember his heart, and restore your praise.

To close, I want to ask you 2 questions that are straight out of the application section of my Bible… first one is this

How has your sin affected you and your walk with God? Has it caused you to hate sin and chase after God's heart even more? Or has it caused you to hide behind shame and fear?

Are you humbled and broken-hearted over your sin? If not, why not? When you fail does it break your heart?

I want to challenge you all to answer these questions before or during small groups. Identify if you are living in shame or living in the freedom that Jesus has purchased for us.

BIG IDEA REPEATED

Let’s pray.