Prayer of Repentance

When we think of the life of King David there are a few key moments in his life that stand out. One key thing about David might be that David is referred to as a man after God’s own heart. Another thing we probably remember is his victory over the giant goliath – we might even remember his sparing of Saul’s life while in the wilderness. Another major moment in David’s life is when we acknowledge the big elephant in the room – David’s darkest moments of sin as he takes Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah, uses her sexually and then concocts a plan to murder her husband to cover the result of his sin – Bathsheba’s pregnancy.

We’ve got this jarring juxtaposition of, on the one hand, saying David is man after God’s own heart, but, also, David slept with the wife of one of his soldiers and then murdered the man to cover it up. Doesn’t really sound like a man after God’s own heart. How do we reconcile this? What we do not want to do is minimize David’s sin.

There is a temptation to downplay the sin of David in the story of David, Bathsheba and Uriah because we don’t want his legacy to be tainted by it. For example, how many of you have heard people refer to David’s sin of adultery? And then the story is explained as some sort of a mutual affair between David and Bathsheba. We think, “well, it was bad, but affairs do happen.”

Sometimes the sin of David is completely explained away - I have even heard of sermons that almost entirely lay the blame at Bathsheba’s feet – they say – Bathsheba was bathing in front of David in order to intentionally seduce him. --- That’s a complete fabrication out of the imagination of people who simply cannot accept that David, the man after God’s own heart, committed grave sexual sin and planned murder.

What I present to you is that scripture tells us that what David did was not simply an adulterous affair between two consenting adults. I’m going to use Old Testament Scholar Dr. Carmen Imes words from an article in Christianity Today to give us an overview of what the David and Bathsheba story is telling us.

Dr. Imes writes, We think of “adultery” as consensual by definition, while the Bible defines it as the responsibility of the male head of the household to keep his hands off his neighbor’s wife (Ex. 20:14). That doesn’t mean a woman can’t sin sexually. However, the Ten Commandments are addressed to men by default. They were called to restrain their strength for the sake of community. Meaning – in David’s world, he is solely responsible for his actions.

Bathsheba is literally David’s neighbor’s wife, which means she’s totally off limits to him. The incident could be called adultery only in the sense that both David and Bathsheba were married, not in the modern sense of consensual affair. The story proceeds like this: David saw; David wanted; David took.

But still, some will ask, “Didn’t Bathsheba seduce him?” The first thing to note is that she is not bathing on the roof (2 Sam. 11:2). Let’s be clear - It’s David who is on the roof—a normal place to be in the cool of the evening. He ought to be at war with his men, but nevertheless, there he is, bored. We may wonder, why is Bathsheba bathing where he can see her? In David’s day, the city had no indoor plumbing. Bathing normally happened in public. If Bathsheba is bathing in a public pool, then, she can hardly be implicated for immodesty. And if she’s bathing in the courtyard of her own home, her bath is more private than normal. In fact, the text never says that she was naked. Isn’t nakedness an obvious inference?

Not necessarily. Dr.Imes remarks that her family lived for two years in the Philippines and regularly visited a crowded Muslim neighborhood with no indoor plumbing. Despite strict notions of modesty, men and women found ways to scrub clean under adequate cover (usually generous tube skirts for both men and women) in public bathing spaces. There’s a good chance, in that culture at that time, Bathsheba is not even naked -this blows up this idea of her intentionally seducing David.

David summons her. Does Bathsheba have a choice? Her husband and her father are both soldiers under David’s command. It seems unlikely she would have felt free to reject the king’s summons. There can be no doubt that David uses his power and authority over Bathsheba to have her come to him. This means: There is no wooing of her heart - no slowly falling into an affair. Just a king demanding a subject come to him. David does not go to her personally – he sends servants to bring her.

In fact, scripture records that David did not even know who she was until that moment. The servant that David tells to go find out about Bathsheba makes sure to tell David, “she is the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah.” I think the servant knows what David is thinking here, and the servant is subtly getting across the message: she is completely off-limits to you. Doesn’t matter- David sends his men to bring her. David knows she will likely not refuse the king.

Bathsheba’s only words in the entire story are “I’m pregnant.” David has put her in a predicament: If her husband returns and finds her pregnant, she could be stoned for adultery. But the situation is not her fault, and David knows it. David used his power and authority as king to get her to the palace – she had very little say in the matter. The idea of two consenting adults engaging in a mutual affair is simply not what we see happening here. At the very least there is a massive power imbalance.

David’s Plan A to cover up his sin is to bring Uriah home from the front to sleep with his own wife. It’s still early in her pregnancy, so Uriah may later think it’s his own child. When he piously refuses to sleep at home, David has him killed and takes Bathsheba into his harem.

When we think of David’s actions and guilt and how I think most if not all the blame lays at David’s feet the clincher for me is this: The narrator is unequivocal in blaming David (the end of 2 Sam. 11:27, But the thing David had done displeased the Lord). The prophet Nathan is clear in blaming David (2 Sam. 12:1–12). And Bathsheba is never reprimanded. Modern sermons that pin the blame equally on Bathsheba and David ignore how God assesses the story through Nathan, and it ignores the clear exegetical signals throughout the chapter.

For David, as for every Israelite, the neighbor’s wife is like a daughter to be protected, not an experience to be collected. David knows Bathsheba is unavailable. But this doesn’t deter him in the least. He’s come to believe that because he has power, he can have whatever he wants when he wants it.

An overlooked part of the story comes after the murder of Uriah, when David tells his commander, through whom David orchestrated the orders, leading to Uriah’s death, “Do not let this matter upset you, for the sword devours one as well as another. (2 Sam. 11:25). David attempts to redefine his own behavior as acceptable. If David had been king of any other ancient Near Eastern kingdom, his actions would have been unremarkable. Kings could do whatever they wanted. But this wasn’t any other kingdom; it was Israel. And David’s power was not absolute, nor did he make the rules. Yahweh did.

Nathan the prophet makes absolutely clear that David had done evil in God’s sight (2 Sam. 12:9). His rebuke lands squarely on David. And David knows he’s in the wrong. David’s response is simply, “I have sinned against YHWH (v. 13). David offers no defense and no excuses. He’s been caught in the act. He takes sole responsibility, repents, and chooses a better path forward. In other words, David too affirms that he’s the guilty one.

Where does a man, who passionately pursued God, go after his darkest sin and secrets are exposed by God’s Prophet, Nathan? Is there any way forward? Is there any way to be restored?

The answer is yes. We believe godly sorrow that leads to godly repentance will be covered by grace and forgiveness. It does not excuse what was done but it opens a path for restoration, healing, forgiveness, and grace.

When it comes to a story like David’s of abuse of power for sexual gain and the planning of a murder, we might want to simply cast David out. It’s an ugly story and the deeper we dig the uglier it becomes. We are forced into a place of tension between God’s grace and the need for justice.

Maybe the temptation to downplay David’s sin comes from the difficulty of extending grace to those who are clearly in the wrong, who have really and truly harmed someone else. It’s hard to think of God’s grace and forgiveness being available to people who are the aggressors and perpetrators of violence and abuse of power.

Rightfully, we do not want to extend a cheap grace to those who have done wrong. We’ve seen cheap grace extended to preparators of sexual misconduct or abuses of power in the church world lately. People are allowed to keep power, position, and influence because they said sorry for a past transgression. And we rightly think, is this justice? Does grace give people a “get out of jail free card?” Are there no consequence for actions?

Let’s understand that grace & forgiveness bring us to right relationship with God, allow us to find new and eternal life, but grace & forgiveness do not guarantee avoiding negative consequences because of our sinful actions. Paul writes, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction…”

Swindoll explains Paul’s words like this: “Grace does not mean sins consequences are automatically removed. If I break my arm in the process of some sin, I can be forgiven the sin, the arm is still broken. The consequences remain.” For some people the consequence of sin may mean the loss of position or power – it may mean the loss of someone or something important as your sin harmed them or severed the relationship”.

Now, this is not a universal rule – God gives a lot of grace – and I am sure that often we do not fully reap what we have sown. Psalm 103:10 states: He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.” David’s sin however has far-reaching consequences, and it is done by a man who certainly knows what he is doing and is aware of how far he is straying.

Look at what Nathan the prophet tells David about the consequence of his sin: “You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own. “This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you…Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.”

David’s household never regains its balance after this sin. Bathsheba’s child with David does die and David’s other sons engage in their own sexual sin, which rips David’s family apart to the point where David’s son Absalom kills his brother Ammnon. Then Absalom turns the kingdom against David and David has to flee his own son until Absalom is killed by David’s servant Joab. After the sin with Bathsheba and Uriah David’s life contains chaos and disorder and the golden era of his kingship begins to fade.

This is not to say all people suffer the same consequences for sin, but we do want to be careful that in our urge to extend grace we do not give grace cheaply – allowing people who are narcissists or predators to easily go back to their old ways. We are not looking for people to simply be sorry for wrongdoing but to be actively seeking repentance – even if there are consequences for their actions – they want to be forgiven and made new they want their hearts not only cleanes but transformed.

———-Godly sorrow or worldy sorro*********

What we see in David is that he deeply desires God’s grace and forgiveness. Retaining his Kingdom is not as important to him as having his heart cleansed and washed by God’s grace and forgiveness. David has what the apostle Paul calls godly sorrow.

Godly sorrow leads to repentance – remember that repentance is not simply saying sorry – sometimes we reduce it to that. Repentance comes from the Greek word metanoia - which means to change one’s mind and heart. It is a drastic change of direction, belief and action. Godly sorrow leads people to want to be totally different, totally new. There is a readiness to see justice done – that is godly sorrow which leads to repentance. The one who is filled with Godly sorrow desperately does not want to be the same person – they want to be changed and made new.

It is in this place of godly sorrow over sin that we can encounter God’s grace. Repentance begins with the state of our heart. It is a soft, & contrite heart before God. How do we pray when we want to repent?

Psalm 51 was written after David’s biggest moral failings, and it shows us the brokenness and desire for repentance. David writes: Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night.

David recognizes his sin – his rebellion against God – it haunts him. He owns his sin. He does not excuse it, justify it, defend it. He simply states the fact of it (I recognize my rebellion – it haunts me day and night). We need to recognize our sin and rebellion. We don't all mess up as badly as David did. Some of us do, some of might even think we’ve done worse than David.

However, the point of repentance is not to rank the level of your rebellion but to simply be honest about it. Brutally honest – no filter, no spin, no justifying it. Be honest about who you are and what you’ve done. We need to own our sin. Recognize the depravity of it, the offense of it and how it is offensive to God.

Once you do this there is only one way forward. Once you see your depravity and your sin – once you really own it- you realize there is nothing you can do to fix it. David can't go back in time and not call Bathsheba to him; he can't go back in time and reverse the order that led to Uriah’s death. He owns it but he can't repair it or fix it. Some of us may have sin that we have committed that we cannot correct, repair or overcome. We own it, but we can't change it. The only thing to do is to bring it to God and cry out for mercy, for forgiveness.

We rely, like David does, on God’s unfailing love and compassion. If we’re not honest about our sin, we can't bring it to God. If we don't own our sin, we can't bring it to God. So, we've got to put it out there and then rely on God’s love and compassion and forgiveness – that’s what David does. David doesn't excuse it or defend it, but he confesses it and relies on God’s unfailing love, mercy and forgiveness.

Later in the psalm David prays: Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Once David owns his sin – calls it what it is – he comes to God to have God do what only God can do. We need to know what our part is and what God’s part is. Our part is to own our sin, call it what it is, and bring it before God and rely on his mercy – to create in us a clean heart.

God’s part is to forgive us and change our hearts. I cannot change my heart. There are things in us that if God does not change it, I cannot change it. I can fight it, I can wrestle with it but if God does not change it, I can’t do it. David knew that he could not fix it but he knows God can, so he calls out – “create in me a clean heart and renew right spirit within me.”

We want to confess and be forgiven our sin because sin makes it hard for us to be in full communion with God. We know sin grieves and quenches the Holy Spirit add to this that our own shame and guilt makes us pull away or hide from love of our heavenly Father. Confession allows us to experience God’s forgiveness and grace. What we find is that God does NOT abandon us in our brokenness and in our godly sorrow and sincere repentance – if we cry out to Him, he steps into the messy and broken places to forgive, redeem and make things new.

David puts it like this in psalm 32: Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.

For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.

When David kept silent – when he did not confess his sin, when he tried to hide it, he experienced a lack of peace that he described as the “heavy hand of the Lord” convicting of him of his sin.

David writes, later in psalm 51: You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God. (16-17) Now, David understood the sacrificial system of the day – he knew that you could not have the forgiveness of sin without the shedding of blood. However, David also understood the heart of God. David knew the animal sacrifice was supposed to show people the depravity of their sin – it was supposed to make them see the penalty of their sin and rejoice that God allowed a substitute.

But it was easy for people to lose the heart behind it and simply go through the motions of religious activity. God did not want religious duty to absolve sin-- he wanted David’s heart turned, cleansed and renewed. God did not want an animal to be killed as a token of atonement - He wanted David to return to Him.

God wanted unobstructed access to David’s heart. The lesson for us is that religious activity is not what God desires – he wants your heart. Some people have an awareness of their sin but instead of relying on God’s forgiveness they try and work really hard to make amends – they try and please God with religious devotion, but no amount of effort can erase the damage done. What sets us free are internalizing the words of our creator and saviour, hearing and believing the words: “You are forgiven.” This is what sets the soul free.

At the end of the day-- God wants you – He doesn't want more of your time, your money, your service. He wants unobstructed access to your heart. LIVING SACRIFICE We were created to be in relationship with the one who created us. Repentance is a posture of humility before God – it isn’t just about sin. It is about a heart that is soft before God. A soft heart before God gives you this overflow of compassion. It also gives you a sensitivity to sin – When my heart is soft, and it isn’t always, but when it is, I am more aware of things in me that might hinder God’s presence, that might grieve His spirit.

We can experience God’s grace, mercy and love in repentance and there are two way this can occur. One is the way we see with David - Where he ignores his sin until the prophet Nathan convicts him – although there are consequences to his sin David does have his heart washed clean – his soul set free, the love of God through grace washes over him. David encounters the grace and forgiveness of God in the middle of his brokenness.

However, there is another way - the other posture of repentance simply asks us to have soft hearts towards God – to be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit. Being quick to repent, as opposed to justifying our sin or actions. This posture of soft-heartedness allows us to avoid places where sin ensnares us and instead places us in a position of victory over sin as we bring sin into the light, nail it to the cross - to be set free and walking in the light and in humility before God and others.

I’ll leave you today with two questions I ask at the end of a week that help me maintain soft heart before God – perhaps they will be helpful for you They come from a prayer practice called the prayer of examen:

Holy Spirit bring to mind the people I interacted with this week – when did I speak words that were honoring to you? Thank you for giving me wisdom to do that. Were there moments when my words or actions towards others were ungodly? (be specific) If so, forgive me and give me the courage to repent and make it right.

Holy Spirit bring to mind the activities I engaged in this week. What were things that were joyful to me and pleasing to you? Were there any unguarded moments where my heart or mind wandered into things that were harmful to me and displeasing to you? (be specific) If so, forgive me my sin and renew me. Help me to change and become more like you.

Maybe this whole sermon you’ve had some event playing in your mind. Some sinful moment in your life you feel trapped by. I’d encourage you to come find me or send me a message, but I also want you to take these words to heart: The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.

You are not rejected – God will not reject you, not in your sorrow and grief over sin. He will not reject a broken and repentant heart. God will redeem you and wash you clean – Jesus came specifically for those who broken over their sin. Through Jesus you are forgiven – through Jesus you have been given new life. Your sin is not held against you.