Parental Wisdom about Interpersonal Relationships

Introduction:

As we enter a new section of the father’s instructions to his son, I want you to consider how all of this ties together. Is there a discernible thought process of the father that we can identify? In verses 1-19, it is as if the father is saying to the son, “Son, let’s go a little further in our discussion of wisdom (or exhibiting Christlike character). This will show itself by you being a prudent, well-balanced businessman. Be careful in what and in whom you invest and stake your reputation and financial well-being. In fact, you may find that you have already done this in an unwise manner, since you are inexperienced. Maybe you thought you were being magnanimous when you decided to help someone you just met, or when you invested in that scheme you really hadn’t investigated thoroughly. If that is the case, spare no expense to get yourself out of that situation, no matter how humbling you find it. Don’t delay a moment. In fact, to emphasize how serious I am about this, let me tell you about how diligent ants are. In this situation, be just like the ant! However, I don’t want you to go overboard and become so self-absorbed and self-protective that you take advantage of and abuse others either. Such a man is worthless and wicked. God despises such persons, for their abusiveness to others is the opposite of his love and care for others. Therefore, by using their negative example, learn to reflect God’s character in your inner and outer man.”

I. Reflect God’s Character in Your Inner Man (Pr 6:12-19)

A. Character reflects itself in your thoughts (Pr 6:14, 18)

1. The wicked man’s thoughts center on evil (Ge 6:5, 12-13; Ro 8:7)

Quotation: It is telling about these kind of thoughts described as “mischief” in verse 14 that they are characterized by the same word as the thoughts of those who brought about the destruction of the earth through God’s judgment by flood in Noah’s day: “And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” (Ge 6:5)

Explanation: Notice the relationship between evil thoughts and the deeds of people thinking these thoughts is not left up to our imagination. The product of such thinking is laid out by God’s own observation and his words to Noah: “And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth. And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.” (Ge 6:12–13)

Quotation: Listen to what the language expert of days gone by, Bishop Trench has to say about the Hebrew word describing “wicked” thoughts in verse 18: “the idea of active opposition to religion is involved in the word, that it is a deliberate withholding from God of His dues of prayer and of service; a standing, so to speak, in battle array against God and His claims to respect, reverence and obedience.”

Argumentation: So it is that the natural thoughts of all of us are like those of this wicked man described in our text. As Paul says to the Romans, “Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.” (Ro 8:7)

2. The wise man’s thoughts center on God’s Word (Pr 2:1-5; 6:20-23)

Argumentation: Not only are the thoughts of the wicked contrary to God’s righteous character, they are also contrary to reality, that is the way God designed his creation to work. How do we reflect God’s character in our thoughts?

Application: “My son, if thou wilt receive my words, And hide my commandments with thee; So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, And apply thine heart to understanding; Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, And liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, And searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, And find the knowledge of God.” (Pr 2:1–5)

Application: “My son, keep thy father’s commandment, And forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, And tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; When thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; And when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; And reproofs of instruction are the way of life:” (Pr 6:20–23)

B. Character reflects itself in your communication (Pr 6:12, 19)

1. The wicked man’s communication denies reality (Pr 23:7)

Explanation: The wicked man’s mouth utters “froward” or impure, corrupt, and crooked words. Verse 19 gets straight to point when it categorizes this kind of man’s speech as “lies.”

Argumentation: Don’t be fooled into thinking that just because a man seems to be religious that his words can be trusted. Note what Jesus said to the religious leaders of his own day: “O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” (Mt 12:34)

Argumentation: Again, Scripture teaches, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; But his heart is not with thee.” (Pr 23:7)

Explanation/Illustration: You may wonder how words differ from thoughts. As much of what is communicated when we speak is in the tone of how we speak or in the facial expressions we use when we speak as in our words. Consider the response of a dog that we have for a pet. I can say in a very kind and loving voice, “You are the dumbest animal that I have ever met. I can’t imagine why I ever picked you for a pet in the first place.” If we say it in a syrupy, sweet voice as if it is a compliment, the dog will take it as a compliment. Similarly, we can say acceptable words to a child or a spouse, but the attitude of our heart can put an edge or tone of anger or superiority in our voice that communicates negatively to them.

2. The wise man’s communication reflects reality (Ps 12:6; Is 42:16)

Explanation: God’s words are pure and free from corruption. This is the reality of what creation, and its crowning glory––man––were designed for. This is often illustrated as a road or path that is straight.

Quotation: “The words of the Lord are pure words: As silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.” (Ps 12:6)

Explanation: Again, scripture paints the opposite picture of men like this when it references the Lord, who says, “And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, And crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.” (Is 42:16)

Application: The wise man’s words should accurately reflect what God wants the thoughts and values of our heart to be. As Paul puts it in Philippians 2:3, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”

C. Character reflects itself in your values (Pr 6:17)

1. The wicked man values himself and his desires (Pr 6:17; 1 Ki 21:1-16)

Explanation: The wicked man is characterized by pride. He values comfort and prosperity for himself. He thinks he is always right.

Quotation: According to Bruce K. Waltke, the Hebrew words translated here “proud look” are used to describe “the pompous Assyrian invader in Isa. 10:12–14 as well as the proud king in Dan. 11:12. They manifest a denial of the Lord’s authority (Job 21:22; 38:15; Ps. 101:5; Isa. 2:11–17; 10:33) and a disregard for human rights. Arrogance means self-exaltation over another person and violates the fundamentally equal honor of each individual.”

Application: We see here that the wicked man and the wicked acts described are all selfish in nature. They are harmful to others and thought to benefit self (although we recognize that sin ultimately kills the sinner rather than bringing him any lasting benefit).

Illustration: King Ahab in 1 Ki 21:1–16

2. The wise man values God and others (1 Sa 20:33; Mt 5:11-12; 22:36-40; Jn 14:15)

Explanation: Jesus made this very clear in John 14:15, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” Jesus further explained his commandments in answer to a question designed to trap him in his words. “Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” (Mt 22:36–40)

Quotation: “Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.” (Mt 5:11–12)

Illustration: Jonathan the son of Saul knew God’s will was for David to succeed his father as King of Israel. Jonathan valued God’s will above his own selfish desires. Jonathan became the bosom friend of David, helping him in spite of Saul’s attempts to kill him. Jonathan’s values are clearly attested by what he was willing to put up with for David: his own father tried to murder him in a fit of rage. “And Saul cast a javelin at him to smite him: whereby Jonathan knew that it was determined of his father to slay David.” (1 Sa 20:33)

II. Reflect God’s Character in Your Outer Man (Pr 6:12-19)

A. Character reflects itself in your actions (Pr 6:13, 17-18)

1. The wicked man’s actions reflect his pride and self-centeredness (Pr 6:13, 17–18; Dt 9:12)

Explanation: Our author uses body parts as illustrations of the deeds of the wicked man. In other words, we might say that because the thoughts of his heart are only evil continually, that his deeds are likewise characterized by evil. Even when they may appear outwardly to be kind, they are corrupted by the pride and selfishness of the doer.

Illustration: “And the Lord said unto me, Arise, get thee down quickly from hence; for thy people which thou hast brought forth out of Egypt have corrupted themselves; they are quickly turned aside out of the way which I commanded them; they have made them a molten image.” (Dt 9:12)

Explanation: This also shows that each body part is put to use in violating God’s design for things. Eyes, tongue, feet, and hands are all put to service of self by the one who places his own designs as a priority over God’s ways.

2. The wise man’s actions reflect humility and unselfishness (Is 35:5-6; Mk 10:44-45; Php 2:5-8)

Explanation: Whereas the wicked man uses his own body parts to the detriment of those around him, the wise man emulates God’s concern for others. Consider these Messianic prophecies from Isaiah. “Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, And the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped. Then shall the lame man leap as an hart, And the tongue of the dumb sing: For in the wilderness shall waters break out, And streams in the desert.” (Is 35:5–6)

Argumentation: “And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.” (Mk 10:44–45)

Argumentation: “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.” (Php 2:5–8)

Application: If we are wise, which means that we follow Christ’s example, then we use our bodies not for selfish purposes, but to serve others for their benefit!

B. Character reflects itself in your influence (Pr 6:14, 19)

1. The wicked man has a harmful influence on others (Pr 6:14, 19; Ga 5:19-21)

Explanation: Given the fact that in God’s ideal society there is unity among the members, is it any wonder that the opposite is true of those who wickedly scorn the truth of God and seek to exalt their own version of “truth”? Twice in our brief text, we read that the wicked man sows discord. Godless societies are characterized by disagreement, disunity, and discord. Is it any wonder that people whose mouths are given to lies, rumors, slander, and gossip would reap a harvest of interpersonal conflict?

Application: “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.” (Ga 5:19–21)

Explanation: Each of these actions named as works of the flesh are destructive, not just to the person doing them, but also to others who follow by example and to human relationships.

2. The wise man has a beneficial influence on others (Mt 5:9; Ro 14:19)

Explanation: A primary characteristic of Christian character is that it builds up others. Eleven times in the New Testament Epistles, we see a form of the word edification used. Character reflects itself in your influence. Godly character builds up (i.e. edifies). The character of the wicked tears down.

Quotation: Paul wrote to the saints who lived in Rome, “Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.” (Ro 14:19)

Application: “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” (Mt 5:9)

C. Character reflects itself in your reaping (Pr 6:15)

1. The wicked man reaps destruction (Pr 6:15; Mt 7:15-20; Ga 6:7-8a)

Explanation: Our text seems to emphasize both the unexpected and sudden nature of the judgment upon the wicked man. Perhaps this is true because God is longsuffering with the wicked. Peter puts it this way: “The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” (2 Pe 3:9)Because of this, it is easy for the righteous to think that the wicked are getting away with their evil deeds. The Psalmist was coming to this inaccurate conclusion as well. “Truly God is good to Israel, Even to such as are of a clean heart. But as for me, my feet were almost gone; My steps had well nigh slipped. For I was envious at the foolish, When I saw the prosperity of the wicked.” (Ps 73:1–3)

Quotation: “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.” (Mt 7:15–20)

Quotation: “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption;” (Ga 6:7–8a)

Application: Sin brings about its own appropriate judgment. At its root, sin wants freedom from the true God. Therefore, all God has to do to judge sin is grant the wish of the sinner to bring upon him the most severe judgment in all of creation: to exist apart from the presence and blessing of the Creator. This is the ultimate meaning of calamity coming suddenly and being broken without remedy.

2. The wise man reaps life (Jn 14:6; Ga 6:8b)

Explanation: “but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” (Ga 6:8b)

Application: Receiving Jesus Christ and following his ways is the only way to reap life, for Christ said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (Jn 14:6)

Conclusion:

Notice the overwhelming emphasis of this passage: as a man follows the way of folly, his sinful actions bring about discord or strife. Of course sin brings about strife with God. We become God’s enemy as we try to replace him on the throne of our life--making our own decisions rather than submitting to his directions. Sin brings about strife with our fellow man. Consider the literary device the Sage uses in our passage today (six // seven). Ray Ortlund tells us, “When the Old Testament uses this literary device (x // x + 1), as in “three // four” (Proverbs 30:18–19, 29–31) or “six // seven,” it is the last item in the list that matters most. The seventh thing the Lord hates, 'one who sows discord among brothers,' is the key to understanding the other six things the Lord hates. What he hates about haughty eyes is that their arrogance sows discord among brothers, what he hates about a lying tongue is how its gossip and slander sow discord among brothers, and so forth. God hates all discord with a passion. That’s what 'abomination' means. It turns his stomach.

But God delights in unity: 'Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!' (Psalm 133:1). Christ himself dwells in the midst of unity. Our unity is his cross becoming real in our hearts, as we demote Self for his sake and exalt him more. By our unity in Christ, we are not just being nice; we are being prophetic. We are saying to all the divisive, selfish idols of this world, 'Jesus is Lord, and you’re not. Jesus makes life sweet, and you don’t. Jesus brings us together, and you can’t. You have no claim on us here. We belong to the Lord Jesus Christ, the crucified Friend of sinners, and we will have the whole world know it by our strong and joyous unity in our Savior.'

He who was in the form of God made himself nothing; he humbled himself down to our level, even down to the level of a servant, all the way down to the level of a condemned criminal. Therefore, God delighted to exalt him (Philippians 2:1–11). Okay, now we know how to live!”

How then do we live together as brothers and sisters in unity? By reflecting God’s character in our inner and outer man!