James 3:1-12

James 3:1-12

Proverbs 18:21

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Matthew 12:34-37

” …for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 A good man out of the good

treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings

forth evil things. 36 But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give

account of it in the day of judgment. 37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your

words you will be condemned.”

Controlling the Tongue

Like a text or an email, words once released from our mouths can’t be retracted.

In chapter 3, James doesn’t give us a solution in controlling our tongue, but in chapter 4:6 he gives us a glimmer of hope by disclosing the real cause as well as the solution by reciting Proverbs 3:34, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Controlling the tongue is not a physical or psychological exercise nor is it a matter of the will.

Self-will may produce temporary fruit, but it’s not long lasting and does nothing to treat the root cause. The inability to tame the tongue is rooted in our connection or lack of connection to Christ. Our only hope in overcoming this ‘fire,’ as James calls it, is by developing our spiritual connection to Jesus.

I believe pride, a lack of humility and love lies at the very center of our inability to control our tongues.

Heather Riggleman wrote in an article titled ‘What makes Pride a Sin’ said, “Pride is the deadliest of all sins because it leads to all other sins. Pride is delusional, spiteful, and bitter. At its root, it declares, “I don’t want God to be God. I want to be God!”

Humility is the key in overcoming pride, yielding my rights for His blessings is the basis of controlling the tongue.

In verse 10 James says to, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

Proverbs 15:33

“The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom, and before honor is humility.”

A heart that loves and considers others more significant than self.

Philippians 2:3

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”

1 John 4:20

If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?

Ephesians 4:2

“With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love.”

Humility isn’t about putting ourselves down; it’s about lifting others up. That’s why we’re encouraged to “be completely humble and gentle.” In love, we step aside from pride and self-promotion to create space for understanding, empathy, and respect toward friends, family, and even strangers. (biblehub.com)

A heart that truly sees its self less than others, not one of lesser value, but one of less pride and greater humility, a heart that trust God and desires more of Him will have greater success at overcoming the seemingly untamable tongue.

When you think about it when we say a harsh or foolish thing it comes naturally, there’s little forethought just a response. “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man,” Matthew 15:18.

The tongue is an indicator by which we can gauge whether our heart belongs more to God or more to ourselves. However, even the Godliest among us will fail from time to time and say things that are intentionally or unintentionally harmful or foolish, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9

The ability to control the tongue comes from a heart that has cultivated humility.

Psalm 37:11

“But the meek shall inherit the earth, and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.”

Matthew 5:5

“Blessed (happy) are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”

One cannot demonstrate meekness of character without first developing humility; however, humility is a gift that comes through obedience, it’s one of the fruits of the spirit. Galatians 5:23 uses the word gentleness which is used interchangeably with meekness and/or humility. Literally it’s a spiritual gift that comes through abiding in Christ. Humility in a believer is a sure sign of a deep connection with the Holy Spirit. Without the Spirit working in us our ability to develop any of the fruits of the spirit are an exercise in futility and controlling the tongue is no exception. Here’s a good description of humility titled, ‘Understanding Humility’ from an article at (scripturesavvy.com):

Humility is not about thinking less of ourselves but thinking of ourselves less. It shifts our focus from our own achievements to the greatness of God. As we reflect on humility, we are reminded that it opens our hearts to receive grace. When we are humble, we acknowledge our need for Jesus and others. Together, we can cultivate a spirit of humility in our lives, which allows us to draw closer to God and each other.

Did you notice he incorporated a need for Jesus and others? A need of anything is certainly an expression of humility, but when directed at a person or persons it opens the door to have greater relationships and deeper fellowship both with Jesus and with others. Remember, pride will always oppose humility and if we allow pride to guide our words and actions, we will severe relationships every time, but if we allow humility to guide us, we’ll not only develop greater, deeper relationships we’ll have greater peace as well.

So, what exactly is meekness?

A calm and gentle spirit, characterized by humility and a willingness to accept God's will without complaint. It is often associated with strength under control. It’s about having power but choosing to wield it with care and restraint.

Meekness is one of Jesus’s greatest attributes, He demonstrated this throughout His earthly ministry and culminating, so amazingly, on the cross.

“But made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross,” Philippians 2:7, 8.

Try to imagine the temptations He may have had in His humanity? The possible desire to crush all ungodliness, his enemies, the nay sayers and mockers, the corruption and to over throw man’s authority. Imagine all this and then look at His stature and then at His words and actions, they were absolutely in obedience to God, in Gethsemane He said, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done,” Luke 22:42

Is this our response when faced with opposition or when we feel that our rights have been violated? Do we have a posture such as Jesus or do we tend to lash out with our words and/or actions? Remember, our hearts our gauged by our responses, both good and evil.

Do we truly trust the Word of God? If we did, I believe responding with humility and obtaining meekness will come easier. If we truly believed, that we’d inherit the earth or that vengeance is mine says the Lord, would we be as quick to respond in a way that needs to defend my rights or my dignity. Jesus came as a servant, servants haven’t any rights, right? Are we greater than He? Ultimately, are we willing to deny ourselves of our sinful nature and take up a new nature that is willing to let go of its sinful desires, its rights, and finally its life? We must kill the flesh, by taking up our cross daily.

Matthew 16:24, 25

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. 25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

Jesus did, and look what He was able to accomplish in such a short time and He did it by being obedient to the Father all the way to the cross.

When we begin to respond with a heart that has cultivated humility, we’ll discover that our lives will have far more meaning, more depth and I truly believe that we’ll have far more joy, peace, and patience because God’s Word says so. It will also give us a greater platform to speak the Truth because meekness validates the Truth. The mockers will be silenced and more likely to listen when they realize that their mockery has no impact and that it only makes them look foolish.

How to cultivate meekness in our character:

· Humility is the foundation of meekness, it’s impossible to have meekness without humility. As mentioned, humility is a gift of the Spirit, however with meekness I believe it takes a cognitive effort on our behalf to develop it. It’s impossible to obtain any good fruit without the Spirits help, but we also must put in the effort as well. Practicing patience is a good start. When faced with a challenging situation pause and reflect before speaking and remember once those words leave your lips they can’t be retracted.

· Prayer is our connection to God, without communication with the Lord our attempts at obtaining humility or meekness will be in vain.

· Be a student of the Word. Not a legalistic student that desires knowledge, but a student that desires to be transformed by the Word to become more like Jesus.

· Ask God to develop humility and meekness in your character.

Abiding in Christ gives us the nutrients that makes taming the tongue possible.

Is it possible to get good fruit from an unhealthy tree? Good fruit comes from a healthy tree which receives nutrient from good soil.

John 15:4, 5

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. 5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

As Jesus just stated, “for without Me you can do nothing,” this means we must be diligent in remaining in Him or we’ll be incapable bearing good fruit in our lives. We can go through our physical lives growing from children into old age, yet even those that look old and wise can be immature in their spirit. If we’re to have a chance at overcoming our sinful nature we must allow Jesus to grow us up in the spirit, this takes time and devotion, but mostly a will that’s determined to serve Him at all cost.

Do we believe that God can take our heart of stone and give us a heart of flesh?

To walk in the spirit, we must have a heart transplant, our hearts for His. Do we truly love the things He loves and hate the things He hates? Do we love righteousness more than sin?

“The fear of the LORD is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate,” Proverbs 8:13.

What comes out of our mouths gives us a glimpse into the heart of our true nature,” …for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,” Matthew 12:34. Sobering for sure, but so true…

It’s essential that we cultivate a heart that is Christ like or we will never have control of our tongue.

Misc. Verses

Luke 6:31

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

Proverbs 8:13

“The fear of the LORD is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate.”

Proverbs 4:23, 24

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth, and put perverse lips far from you.”

Galatians 5:13

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the

flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”

Ephesians 4:29

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Psalm 19:14

“May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

Psalms 51:10

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

Proverbs 8:17

“I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me.”

Romans 12:12

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

Proverbs 21:21

“Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.”

1 John 3:18

“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.