INTRODUCTION

1. You don’t think ANGER is a PROBLEM?

a. Just get on the FREEWAY

b. DEMOLITION DERBY

c. Road RAGE

d. We live in a very ANGRY world

2. How QUICKLY a serine, peaceful life can be blown up with ANGER

a. REGARDLESS of the REASON for our anger

b. In just a FEW moments we can SAY and DO very HURTFUL things

c. Relationship DESTROYED

Prov 18:19 A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.

d. Nothing HURTS or DESTROYS more RELATIONSHIPS than ANGER

e. Let us look at ANGER

TWO KINDS OF ANGER

Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

1. Six words are listed here to describe ones’ ANGER

2. There is more than one KIND of anger

a. In our INTRODUCTION we looked at how we can quickly LOOSE our anger

b. Term used BITTERNESS

i. Seems like this is the FOUNDATION word on which the others are based

ii. Bitterness is a word that comes from sensations of the mind.

iii. 'Bitter' means sharp, like an arrow; OR of taste, disagreeable; poisonous

iv. We read of the poisonous water given to the women suspected of adultery (Numbers 5:18) is called the 'water of bitterness.'

v. Paul writes that we are to get ride of ALL BITTERNESS

3. The FIRST kind of anger is WRATH

a. Wrath = hot anger, anger let loose

i. Means the mind itself, and the seat of emotions and desires;

ii. Then the mind in the work of passion

iii. People with wrath are the kind that MOMENTARILY blow up

iv. We use many terms to DESCRIBE such anger:

1. They blew their stack

2. Got ticked off

3. Just TOLD them off

4. Got a short fuse

5. Lost ones temper

v. This is NOTHING new

Prov. 29:22 An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.

b. Very DANGEROUS

i. Can cost you your JOB

ii. Can cost you your BEST friends

iii. Can cost you your SPOUSE

c. WRATH has destroyed MORE relationships and families than ANYTHING else

d. Read that more than 80% of ALL counseling involves dealing with ANGER

e. Bible tells us to get RID of WRATH

f. We don’t need to LOOSE our temper

g. WRATH is a manifestation of BITTERNESS

4. The SECOND kind of ANGER is simply ANGER

Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

a. Following WRATH we find the word ANGER

b. Anger is the passion itself,

i. It is the MANIFESTATION of wrath,

c. Clamour and evil speaking are the outward expressions of anger

d. Anger, clamour and evil speaking are all summed up in the word ANGER

i. These all outward MANIFESTATIONS of WRATH

e. ANGER = CONTROLLED anger, idea of taking REVENGE

i. Remember we looked at WRATH as an OUTBURST

ii. The word translated ANGER is more LASTING in nature

f. Read that most MEN exhibit WRATH

i. We blow up

ii. We get over it

g. Read also that most WOMEN exhibit ANGER

i. They DON’T blow up immediately

ii. They come to a SLOW boil on the inside

iii. They don’t blow up, they CLAM up

iv. They give the OFFENDER - that SILENT treatment

h. Both types of anger are WRONG

Eph 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

5. Came across some wisdom from the comedienne Phyllis Diller

a. She said, ‘Never go to bed angry, - Stay up and fight’

b. That is NOT what Paul is telling us

c. Paul is NOT telling us to fight

d. But yes, Paul is saying STAY UP

e. Deal with the ANGER

f. We are NOT to let our anger SIMMER

g. We are NOT to let our anger SET UP in our heart

h. We are to DEAL with it BEFORE the sun goes down,

i. BEFORE the days END

6. Allowing our anger to SMOLDER gives the devil a foothold in our HEART

a. That ANGER will develop into HATE and MALICE

WHAT CAUSES US TO GET ANGRY?

1. First: HURT causes us to get ANGRY

a. Those times when you hit your thumb with a HAMMER

i. I know we all say PRAISE THE LORD

ii. NO, we jump, we holler

iii. WHY, we’re HURTING

b. There will ALWAYS come those times when SOMEONE burses our FEELINGS

i. We get just as hurt as if someone hit us with a HAMMER

ii. We JUMP, we HOLLER

iii. WHY, we’re HURTING

c. Oh, the damage our little TONGUE can do

i. The HURT – the PAIN – the shoots out

ii. It can have a LIFE LONG impact

iii. HURT causes us to get ANGRY

2. Next: INSECURITY causes us to get ANGRY

a. When our FEELINGS get stomped on by what someone says about US

Eccl 7:21 Also take no heed unto all words that are spoken; lest thou hear thy servant curse thee:

b. By nature we fight with low self esteem

i. We all have it

ii. Yes we have that Adamic – sinful nature

c. Only difference in people is in HOW they control it

i. YES GOD loves even me

ii. We should NOT depend on the opinions of HUMANS for our self esteem

d. We have all have had people say CRITICAL, NEGATIVE, HURTFUL things about us

e. The more INSECURE we are – the MORE angry we will be about THESE kind of remarks

f. We need to understand that SATAN will do ALL he can to hinder us

i. Yes even using people’s hurtful words

ii. Yes even belittling us

g. Insecurity causes us to get ANGRY

3. FRUSTRATION causes us to get ANGRY

a. Have you ever worked and worked on a particular PROJECT and just couldn’t pull it together

i. Got to put that BIKE together

ii. Got to get that COMPUTER working

1. Strike out

b. We get FRUSTRATED

i. We get ANGRY

c. OR we may get FRUSTRATED with a spouse, a child, a co-worker

d. They just don’t seem to be on the same page as us

e. They just don’t seem to be going in the same direction as us

i. We get FRUSTRATED

ii. We get ANGRY

f. FRUSTRATION = lack of patience

Prov 14:29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

g. We need to work on our UNDERSTANDING

i. We need to understand PEOPLE

ii. We need to understand we’re they are coming from

iii. We need to understand SITUATIONS

h. Maybe we need to READ the INSTRUCTIONS before we start a project

i. Maybe we need to LISTEN to what they have to say

i. THEY just may be RIGHT

j. Maybe we are causing them to be FRUSTRATED and ANGRY too

k. Hurt, insecurity, frustration all cause us to get ANGRY

WHAT IS THE CURE FOR ANGER?

START BY CONTROLLING OUR TONGUE

Quickest way to EXPRESS our anger is with our WORDS

Prov 12:18 There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.

Old saying “Quickest way to cut your OWN throat is with a SHARP tongue”
Someone said when angry, count to 100, for some of us, count to a million
OK do it backwards
Whole idea is to not only stop the tongue, but REDIRECT the mind

THEN CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES

We need ALWAYS to ask our self i. “Is it WORTH hurting someone else?”

ii. OR “What kind of EXAMPLE is this for my children?”

iii. ALWAYS we need to consider our CHRISTIAN testimony

When we let go – we act like FOOLS

Prov 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.

i. We act DUMP when we lose our TEMPERS

You also can NOT reason with someone who has lost it i. You can NOT reason with a FOOL

Prov 23:9 Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words.

We have all learned – ANGRY responses DO NOT solve anything i. THEY make them WORSE
The BIBLE warns us:

Psa 37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

Anger ALWAYS comes with a price i. That price can be awful EXPENSIVE
We must ALWAYS consider the CONSEQUENCES

FINALLY WE NEED TO CONTROL OUR RESPONSES

Have you ever noticed that WHEN you get ANGRY, your MOUTH works faster than your MIND #. Anger is TEMPORARY insanity
You LOOSE it
You ALLOW that poison to take over your MIND
You ALLOW bitterness to set up shop

i. WE need to STOP and THINK – BEFORE - we RESPOND

We have all SAID or DONE something in ANGER

i. THEN five minutes later we ask our self “Why in the world did I act so FOOLISH?”

James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

We need to get a handle on our anger #. We need to get a handle on our RESPONSE

CONCLUSION

ANGER is a CHOICE

We get ANGRY because we choose TO #. NOT because we HAVE to

We need to STOP blaming PEOPLE or EVENTS for our ANGER

It is NOT our PARENTS fault
It is NOT our SPOUSES fault

It is NOT our KIDS fault
It is NOT our BOSS’ fault
It is NOT CIRCUMSTANCES or EVENTS that cause our ANGER

i. It is OUR REACTION that causes ANGER

Came across a very simply answer to anger

When you get really angry, stick your hands in your pockets.

Anger – a very powerful weapon in Satan’s arsenal

But we do not have to ALLOW Satan that inroad
Our weapon to fight it off – prayer
Praying LORD HELP ME
Praying LORD FORGIVE ME
And if you haven’t already prayed: LORD SAVE ME

The prayer of salvation

One that EVERYONE needs to pray
Confessing our sins and begging for forgiveness
The PRAYER of SALVATION is the FIRST step in our ETERNAL journey with the Lord

Lesson 09 - Handling Anger

INTRODUCTION

CONCLUSION