Set Them Free (And Set Yourself Free)

Good morning, Faithway family!

Whether you’ve been coming here for years or you’re visiting with us for the very first time, we want you to know — you are so welcome here. We’re honored to gather together today, not just as individuals, but as a family of faith ready to worship the God who saves, heals, and sets us free!

Today, we are stepping into the presence of a God who has forgiven much — and who invites us to live differently. So let’s come with open hearts, expectant spirits, and praise ready on our lips. Because our God is worthy!

Text: Matthew 18:21–35

Big Idea: Forgiven people forgive people.

Main Point: Forgiveness isn’t a feeling; it’s a decision that unlocks your future.

Craig-style Sticky Statement:

“Holding a grudge doesn’t hurt them — it chains you.”

“Holding a grudge doesn’t hurt them — it chains you.”

Story-Driven Opener

Have you ever held a grudge so long that you forgot what started it, but you still felt that tightness in your chest every time their name came up? I remember someone hurt me — I mean really hurt me. And I told myself, “I forgive them… I just never want to see them again… ever.”

But the truth? I hadn’t forgiven them. I was just rehearsing the hurt.

You ever done that? You say you’ve moved on, but you still replay the conversation? Still post vague passive-aggressive memes? (Come on, somebody — “if the shoe fits… stop throwing it at people.”)

Today, Jesus is going to show us what real forgiveness looks like — and it doesn’t make sense.

It’s not fair.

It’s not easy.

But it’s freeing.

Matthew 18:21–35 KJV 1900

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

Peter comes to Jesus and says:

“Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

He’s trying to impress Jesus — like, “Hey Jesus, I’m gonna go above and beyond here.”

Jesus replies:

“I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Translation: As many times as it takes.

Then Jesus tells a parable — and it’s a wild one. A servant owes the king 10,000 talents — that’s like millions of dollars in today’s money. He begs for mercy, and the king — out of compassion — erases the debt. Completely.

But then what does this guy do? He finds someone who owes him just a few bucks and chokes him out. Same words. “Please, be patient with me.” But instead of mercy, he throws him in prison.

The king hears about it and is furious. He reinstates the debt and says:

“Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?”

Then Jesus says something haunting:

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Makes No Sense — But That’s the Point

Jesus wants to shock us. This isn’t just a parable — it’s a mirror.

We are the first servant.

We’ve been forgiven a debt we could never repay.

And yet we walk around holding on to offenses that are tiny in comparison.

Why?

“When you minimize God’s forgiveness toward you, you’ll justify withholding forgiveness from others.”

It doesn’t make sense to forgive someone who betrayed you.

It doesn’t make sense to forgive the abuse, the lies, the abandonment.

But kingdom culture doesn’t make sense to the world.

It’s not about keeping score — it’s about setting people free.

“But Dave, what if I don’t feel like forgiving them?”

Good. That means you’re human.

But forgiveness is not a feeling. It’s not approval of what they did. It’s not forgetting.

It’s a decision to trust God with justice and choose freedom.

Is Not a Feeling — It’s a Decision

You say: “I can’t forgive them.”

God says: “You can — and you must.”

Why?

Because forgiveness sets you free.

“When you forgive, it doesn’t change your past — it changes your future.”

ILLUSTRATION: Holding the Rope

Unforgiveness is like holding a rope in a game of tug-of-war, against an elephant

The longer you hold on, the more you get dragged.

You want to win — but it’s not a battle you were designed to fight.

What’s the only way to win?

Let. Go.

“Holding a grudge doesn’t hurt them — it chains you.”

Unlocks What God Wants to Do in You

Bitterness is a prison. And some of us are the jailers — holding the key, but refusing to use it.

Jesus said forgive “from the heart.”

That doesn’t mean “wait until you feel it.”

It means forgive with everything in you — and let the Holy Spirit do the healing.

How to Forgive When You Don’t Feel It

Acknowledge the pain.

Forgiveness isn’t pretending it didn’t hurt.

Pray for them.

You don’t have to like them to bless them.

Decide daily.

Forgiveness is often a process. It may take time. That’s okay.

Trust God with the outcome.

God sees. God knows. God will handle it.

HEARTWORK CHALLENGE:

Here’s your assignment this week — and I mean this seriously.

Write a letter of forgiveness.

Maybe it’s to someone who betrayed you.

Maybe it’s to a parent who wasn’t there.

Maybe it’s to yourself.

You don’t have to send it. Just write it.

Why? Because when you write the words, you release the weight.

ALTAR MOMENT / RESPONSE:

Some of you are chained to unforgiveness.

You’re locked in bitterness.

And today, Jesus wants to set you free.

Let’s be honest — you don’t need to forgive for them.

You need to forgive for you.

Forgiven people forgive people.

So today, decide.

Let them go.

Set them free.

And set yourself free.

CLOSING PRAYER:

“Father, we thank You that when we didn’t deserve it, You forgave us.

Help us, by Your Spirit, to forgive others — not because they earned it, but because You first forgave us.

Free us from the chains of bitterness. Heal our hearts.

And give us the courage to write that letter, release that offense, and walk in freedom.

In Jesus’ name, amen.”

2 Corinthians 5:7 KJV 1900

(For we walk by faith, not by sight:)

Benediction:

As you go this week,

may you walk in the freedom of the forgiven,

extend the mercy you’ve received,

and choose the path that leads to peace.

May the chains of bitterness fall,

the burden of offense be lifted,

and the grace of Jesus Christ empower you

to set others free — and in doing so,

may you discover your own freedom.

Go in the love of the Father,

the healing of the Son,

and the strength of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.