Grief

Intro - take a moment and break from ON the Verge and address a current event

Passing of Middle School Student Who life was celebrated a few hours ago.

Tonight I want to talk about grief

Because sometimes the church is very good at talking about victory or overcoming, but we, as Americans, tend to shy away from grief and loss.

Tonight talk about what Jesus says about our pain.

Grief

means deep sorrow from loss.

Can be for anything we have lost

Job, Plans, Friends when we move, loved ones to death

We can have deep emotions that impact us.

ANGER, GUILT, ANXIETY, DETACHMENT, SADNESS, SHOCK, NUMBNESS, SLEEPLESS,

CONFUSION, HARD TO THINK, FATIGUE, CHEST PAINS, IRRITABLE

HEADACHES, LOSS OF APPETITE, STOMACH ACHES, RACING HEART, HYPER,

Common for grief

I have all these emotions what do I do now?

John 11:17-20

We will be in John tonight but I will be reading, so you can focus on listening.

READ

Common courtesy in that day is to greet those coming to your house.

It has been 4 days and they were fully into the 7 days of mourning.

In their grief, the 2 sisters were in 2 different places. Martha could engage, Mary could not.

And that is ok.

Jesus meets you where you’re at.

They were handling their feelings in different ways.

Feelings those things are part of the process.

So Jesus is engaging, letting her know “I am here and ready to walk through this with you.”

He is not calling you to be healed quickly or put on the happy face, but instead engaging us where we are.

Don’t have to be okay.

John 11:21-27

Martha is at a point where she needs to talk.

so she does and Jesus answers her, not with rebuke, or you’ll be okay, but with compassion.

He gives her comfort in a way she didn’t understand.

Martha thought she was getting a cliche, or those one-liners you hear when someone want to comfort you.

She engaged looking for comfort, something to ease her pain.

But Jesus redirects her to himself, the source of hope. He is inviting her to step into the beginning of healing.

He is saying keep your eyes on me. Believe in me, have hope in me. I will not let you down. He didn’t answer the hows or whys, but instead “stay with me and I will take care of you till the end.”

Sometimes in our grief we think the hows and whys will make it better, from those who did get answers, the pain remained. Jesus is saying stay with me, because I can give you hope.

Because...

The process of healing starts when you engage.

Grief is a patient emotion It will wait till you are ready.

Martha was ready. She heard Jesus was coming and moved. Mary did not.

Martha reached out as she could and talked. She shared her grief with Jesus and he repsonded.

In your grief you may be tempted to start walling off and disengaging. For a time, that is ok, but grief is still waiting. But the process of healing starts when you engage it.

Either through talking , writing, sharing with friends, reaching out Martha made space for Jesus to speak words of healing to her heart.

Jesus began the process when she was ready.

Jesus is always ready to walk with you when you are

John 11:28-35

Now we switch to Mary. She was in a different place. She wasn’t ready to engage. She was still within herself. Remember this the girl who didn’t help serve but sat at Jesus’s feet. She needed more time.

That’s ok. Each person is different.

But Jesus, knowing he could help. He called for her. Note he didn’t go barging in, rush into her space, but gently called her into the beginning of healing. He gave her a choice.

Mary knew her Lord was a safe place and she quickly went.

Now her response was the same as Martha’s was very different. It was raw pain. It was exposing her pain.

And that is okay. She was in a safe place surrounded by people who loved and care for her. and she showed the depths of her hurt.

If your hurt is this deep, this raw, know there are people in your life who want to be that place for you, where you can show that hurt and start the process of healing. People here want to help. Chaplains are available. We want to help you start healing.

If you find your pain is so strong that you are have thoughts of suicide or considering suicide or self harm, (remember I don’t shy away from the hard stuff), you have people that love you and want to help.

As much as the enemy wants to convince you that you don't have the strength to reach out to talk to someone, you do, even if you don't see it in yourselves. The path to healing begins a few words - I need help.”

Which leads me to my next point.

You have a Savior that knows your pain.

In verse 33, it says Jesus was deeply moved and greatly troubled.

In verse 35, it says he wept.

This is my favorite verse in Scripture. My savior, the King of Kings who was there at the beginning of the earth, was so moved by our lowly human experiences, he wept alongside us.It shows his capacity of compassion for us.

Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.””

In your pain, you are not without hope. We do not grieve as those without hope.

1 Thessalonians 4:13–14 “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.”

This is a reminder that you are not alone, the relationship you have with Jesus is eternal, not just for this world, but for all eternity. He feels your pain and wants to walk with you in the process of healing.

But if tonight, you find you don’t have feel like you have that hope I’m talking about, that you don’t know this Jesus,

the person who cares for us and

weeps with us and

never leaves us or

forsakes us,

but you want Him in your life. You want the hope He offers, please come forward and talk to one of our adults or speak to them in the small groups. He sees the depth of your pain and all the recesses of your heart. He wants to offer healing because of His death and resurrection. Dont’ afriad and let Jesus to walk beside you in this.

Jesus is with you.